I really think I should make sure to take my inhaler before reading these, because I laughed so hard at He ruffled his short brown hair and opened his blue eyes like the Cornish sea that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had ruddy pink skin that he was wearing foundation on. that I almost had an asthma attack.
Probably the absolute worst part is the paragraph in Chapter 8 between Everyone gasped. and “But our coalition talks fell through!” said Tory.", because it seems to have suddenly jumped to Nick's perspective without making that clear. Why? Oh yes, because this is badfic, and the original author couldn't write for toffee. Knew there was a reason
( ... )
Also pretty terrible is the original author's need to use lots of different words other than "said". > But she's so imaginative ;)
And what is Touche Eclat? I'm going to have to Google now to find out... *1 minute later*. Ah. I, er, consider myself educated *blinks rapidly* :O
> In the original, so much emphasis is placed on make up, and especially eyeliner, it was clear that I would need to find a substitute to keep the rhythm. Touche Eclat is 1. a top of the range product 2. used for concealing under eye bags (which I imagine is a big problem for MPs 3. worn around the eyes. I'm finding myself mentioning it so much I wonder if I could get sponsorship...
By the way, you've labelled these chapters as 8 and 9 but the title says 7 and 8. Might want to fix that, unless it's part of the badfic style.
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Thatcher got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on her face. “I hath telekinesis.” she answered cruelly.
WHAT CAN I SAY?? THIS MAKES ME LAUGH LIKE NOTHING ELSE. THANK YOU ♥
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I'll certainly do my best. I'm kind of scratching my head as to how I'll make some of the more awful bits work...
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IT'S SO AWFUL!! :D
I really think I should make sure to take my inhaler before reading these, because I laughed so hard at He ruffled his short brown hair and opened his blue eyes like the Cornish sea that he was wearing contact lenses on. He had ruddy pink skin that he was wearing foundation on. that I almost had an asthma attack.
Probably the absolute worst part is the paragraph in Chapter 8 between Everyone gasped. and “But our coalition talks fell through!” said Tory.", because it seems to have suddenly jumped to Nick's perspective without making that clear. Why? Oh yes, because this is badfic, and the original author couldn't write for toffee. Knew there was a reason ( ... )
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> But she's so imaginative ;)
And what is Touche Eclat? I'm going to have to Google now to find out... *1 minute later*. Ah. I, er, consider myself educated *blinks rapidly* :O
> In the original, so much emphasis is placed on make up, and especially eyeliner, it was clear that I would need to find a substitute to keep the rhythm. Touche Eclat is 1. a top of the range product 2. used for concealing under eye bags (which I imagine is a big problem for MPs 3. worn around the eyes. I'm finding myself mentioning it so much I wonder if I could get sponsorship...
By the way, you've labelled these chapters as 8 and 9 but the title says 7 and 8. Might want to fix that, unless it's part of the badfic style.
> Fixed. Thanks.
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