Killer Parents
When I was in college, I did an extensive essay on kids who kill. Now, there seems to be a new trend in the air these days. Parents killing their children. I am sickened, disturbed, appalled, and thoroughly disgusted by the things I have been reading in the news articles the past few weeks or so. I don't remember things ever being this bad. This was partially the culprit on why I have been away, coupled with my wanting seclusion and the dial up works super slow. There were a couple of times I attempted to post on myspace now and both times after I had worked so long and hard with my entry, when I clicked send, the page disappeared completely. Like how does that happen? Anywhoo...off subject.
My reference links:
http://channels.isp.netscape.com/news/story.jsp?idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20060305%2F0128712600.htm&sc=1110&floc=NI-ne3
http://channels.isp.netscape.com/news/story.jsp?idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20060304%2F2316705978.htm&sc=1110&floc=NI-ne4
Seriously, what is UP with Charlotte, NC? Which made me think even more about this subject against my will, so I looked this: http://www.slate.com/?id=2063086 up.
I have been disturbed and depressed since I read the article on Andrea Yates killing her kids. I couldn't even FINISH reading the article, I was so disturbed. It has been playing over and over in my mind in my awake times like a movie and I couldn't stop it. I have been in mental torture for some time now. It has brought me to the point where I want very little human contact or conversation with anyone outside of the house. It's like I have shut down and can only deal with what's here first. Which includes my mind showing me things I don't care to see, things I never cared to see. This is an extremely emotional subject for me, it is the most disturbing thing in the world for me to read about/witness, etc the death of a child or children. Children are our biggest asset and resource, and are squandered of their worth every day. Instead of being protected, children are being brutally murdered by their parents. Kids killing other kids is very sad, and a different kind of atrocity in its own rite. It's less savage to shoot someone and they either die instantly or soon after most of the time, depending on the location and kind of wound they had, than it would be to murder a child in the other ways that were described in the previous articles. Beaten, shaken, drowned, stabbed, suffocated, and poisoned. What would cause the will to desire and carry these appalling tragedies out? I just can't get my head around it. Kids. So small and defenseless without their parents a lof of the time, what could drive someone to kill a child? Or, even worse, what drives a parent to kill their child?
I do not believe that Andrea Yates is not guilty by reason of insanity. Anyone who can say that her son was crying so hard from her bashing him off the bathtub that he vomited shows that she was not delusional enough at the time of the murder to be rendered unable to recall the events that took place, which to me, is more of an indication of a possibility of not guilty by reason of insanity, in comparison, in my opinion. She was able to disgust me with the aftermath her horrific actions to the point where I was so disturbed by it that I had to quit reading an article and leave the page immediately. This and the fact that she was caught coaching someone in prison how to appear crazy tells me that this monster of a human being knew what she was doing. She maliciously murdered her own children, for a reason, I don't even know, because I just couldn't read any further.
I do not believe that mothers should be treated as lenient as they are in the court systems for murdering their children. I think that the situation should be reversed in that the women should be judged more harshly for this crime. A woman is stressing because her kids are being kids and they are misbehaving or whatever and so yeah. Does a mother ever say the following or a rendition of it right before they violently murder their children? : 'I'll show them kids that I don't have to take their shit. O! I can kill them little bastards if they don't watch it...haha haha.' How can a person be so heartless to purposefully take the lives of their child(ren)?
My former mother told me once years ago that she attempted to smother my brother to death to get him to stop crying. She was telling me details that she was standing over his crib while he was crying (my brother had severe colic for several months) with a pillow in her hands hovering over his head when she claims that she had a "moment of clarity" and decided to actually be a mother instead of a murderer. She blames the incident on post-partum depression and severe lack of sleep. Sorry mom, I just don't buy it.
Some years back when I was working at a nursing home on a short-term basis, I was on break, sitting in the breakroom reading the newspaper that someone left in disarray on the break room table. I had been reading for a short while when I stumbled across an article of a mother who starved her daughter to death. How can a mother ignore her child's cries and pleas for food or water? How cruel. Think of how many times that poor kid threw up to the point where the 8 year old child whittled down to something in the high 70 pounds. That bothered me, but in comparison, this time is worse as in more empowering.
I really wish that I could stop all of these atrocities involving such brutality and young kids/babies. I often have dreams about trying to save people and failing. I have dreams that I am a protecting assassin; able to fly, able to fight, able to win, able to kill. In my dreams, I am everything that I can never be, and my dreams have always made my life interesting at the least. The dreams were often bad and scared the shit out of me, but at least it's not the forgettable type. I carry the burden of others as well as my own upon my shoulders. I feel a sadness come over me when I am around a person in severe emotional distress, pain, and depression. It literally feels like my heart is breaking for them sometimes.
In other news, I found out I was pregnant on Friday. I am due Nov. 4. I get to call to make my first ob/gyn appointment in more than 6 years. Weeird. In addition to that, I even feel weird. I feel weird in my body, my mind, my skin. I feel emotionally retarded. I have been mad about things in my mind very passionately a few times, but they didn't last very long. And then it was just forgotten, like nothing ever really happened in the first place. I don't get it at all.
I love being a mother and I am proud of the fact that I have managed to refrain from abusing my own children, as I was so much of the time was treated most of my childhood. So I just can't fathom how parents can just kill their kids.
I really am pissed about how I tried to post an exclusive blog on myspace, I click the button to submit it and the whole page disappears. That should not happen, should not even be possible to happen on windows.
Other stuff: I got extra money and we got a few other things that we needed, so that rocked. Things are starting to look up financially. Also Tim said that he was going to be checking into transferring to a closer WalMart so he won't have to spend so much time on the buses. That makes me real happy because I can't see him for like 6-8 additional hours a day because he has to take the buses at the buses' schedule. He gets to work most days two hours early for work and on weekends has to stay almost 2 hrs after he punches out to wait for the bus to get there to pick him up. We were able to get ourselves an external harddrive so we got more room to store stuff to give the laptop a break from storing all that information.
My reference links:
http://channels.isp.netscape.com/news/story.jsp?idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20060305%2F0128712600.htm&sc=1110&floc=NI-ne3
http://channels.isp.netscape.com/news/story.jsp?idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20060304%2F2316705978.htm&sc=1110&floc=NI-ne4
Seriously, what is UP with Charlotte, NC? Which made me think even more about this subject against my will, so I looked this: http://www.slate.com/?id=2063086 up.
I have been disturbed and depressed since I read the article on Andrea Yates killing her kids. I couldn't even FINISH reading the article, I was so disturbed. It has been playing over and over in my mind in my awake times like a movie and I couldn't stop it. I have been in mental torture for some time now. It has brought me to the point where I want very little human contact or conversation with anyone outside of the house. It's like I have shut down and can only deal with what's here first. Which includes my mind showing me things I don't care to see, things I never cared to see. This is an extremely emotional subject for me, it is the most disturbing thing in the world for me to read about/witness, etc the death of a child or children. Children are our biggest asset and resource, and are squandered of their worth every day. Instead of being protected, children are being brutally murdered by their parents. Kids killing other kids is very sad, and a different kind of atrocity in its own rite. It's less savage to shoot someone and they either die instantly or soon after most of the time, depending on the location and kind of wound they had, than it would be to murder a child in the other ways that were described in the previous articles. Beaten, shaken, drowned, stabbed, suffocated, and poisoned. What would cause the will to desire and carry these appalling tragedies out? I just can't get my head around it. Kids. So small and defenseless without their parents a lof of the time, what could drive someone to kill a child? Or, even worse, what drives a parent to kill their child?
I do not believe that Andrea Yates is not guilty by reason of insanity. Anyone who can say that her son was crying so hard from her bashing him off the bathtub that he vomited shows that she was not delusional enough at the time of the murder to be rendered unable to recall the events that took place, which to me, is more of an indication of a possibility of not guilty by reason of insanity, in comparison, in my opinion. She was able to disgust me with the aftermath her horrific actions to the point where I was so disturbed by it that I had to quit reading an article and leave the page immediately. This and the fact that she was caught coaching someone in prison how to appear crazy tells me that this monster of a human being knew what she was doing. She maliciously murdered her own children, for a reason, I don't even know, because I just couldn't read any further.
I do not believe that mothers should be treated as lenient as they are in the court systems for murdering their children. I think that the situation should be reversed in that the women should be judged more harshly for this crime. A woman is stressing because her kids are being kids and they are misbehaving or whatever and so yeah. Does a mother ever say the following or a rendition of it right before they violently murder their children? : 'I'll show them kids that I don't have to take their shit. O! I can kill them little bastards if they don't watch it...haha haha.' How can a person be so heartless to purposefully take the lives of their child(ren)?
My former mother told me once years ago that she attempted to smother my brother to death to get him to stop crying. She was telling me details that she was standing over his crib while he was crying (my brother had severe colic for several months) with a pillow in her hands hovering over his head when she claims that she had a "moment of clarity" and decided to actually be a mother instead of a murderer. She blames the incident on post-partum depression and severe lack of sleep. Sorry mom, I just don't buy it.
Some years back when I was working at a nursing home on a short-term basis, I was on break, sitting in the breakroom reading the newspaper that someone left in disarray on the break room table. I had been reading for a short while when I stumbled across an article of a mother who starved her daughter to death. How can a mother ignore her child's cries and pleas for food or water? How cruel. Think of how many times that poor kid threw up to the point where the 8 year old child whittled down to something in the high 70 pounds. That bothered me, but in comparison, this time is worse as in more empowering.
I really wish that I could stop all of these atrocities involving such brutality and young kids/babies. I often have dreams about trying to save people and failing. I have dreams that I am a protecting assassin; able to fly, able to fight, able to win, able to kill. In my dreams, I am everything that I can never be, and my dreams have always made my life interesting at the least. The dreams were often bad and scared the shit out of me, but at least it's not the forgettable type. I carry the burden of others as well as my own upon my shoulders. I feel a sadness come over me when I am around a person in severe emotional distress, pain, and depression. It literally feels like my heart is breaking for them sometimes.
In other news, I found out I was pregnant on Friday. I am due Nov. 4. I get to call to make my first ob/gyn appointment in more than 6 years. Weeird. In addition to that, I even feel weird. I feel weird in my body, my mind, my skin. I feel emotionally retarded. I have been mad about things in my mind very passionately a few times, but they didn't last very long. And then it was just forgotten, like nothing ever really happened in the first place. I don't get it at all.
I love being a mother and I am proud of the fact that I have managed to refrain from abusing my own children, as I was so much of the time was treated most of my childhood. So I just can't fathom how parents can just kill their kids.
I really am pissed about how I tried to post an exclusive blog on myspace, I click the button to submit it and the whole page disappears. That should not happen, should not even be possible to happen on windows.
Other stuff: I got extra money and we got a few other things that we needed, so that rocked. Things are starting to look up financially. Also Tim said that he was going to be checking into transferring to a closer WalMart so he won't have to spend so much time on the buses. That makes me real happy because I can't see him for like 6-8 additional hours a day because he has to take the buses at the buses' schedule. He gets to work most days two hours early for work and on weekends has to stay almost 2 hrs after he punches out to wait for the bus to get there to pick him up. We were able to get ourselves an external harddrive so we got more room to store stuff to give the laptop a break from storing all that information.