i hate me sometimes
today was one of those days where if i had the option of just giving up being valedictorian and being ranked something nobody will remember or care, i would do it.
i fucking hate the stigma. it is driving me nuts. fuck you little green...no, i take that back, it isnt your fault, although my fucking picture ran through the whole damn school in that atrocity. since the entire fucking place now knows i am valedictorian, i have not stopped hearing these ever-so-familiar phrases (which i have heard before, but not in quite so much abundance as this now):
"Hey Neil, you should know the answer to this, you're valedictorian!! hahaha!!"
"Hey, where you going to school, Harvard??"
"Where'd you apply?" (I tell them) "Oh My GOD!! You're not going to go to UNH or anything that's not an IVY LEAGUE, are you?"
"What? you didn't get it right? i thought you were like a genius or something, you're valedictorian!"
(After i help someone with a math/chem/whatever problem) "Jeez, sorry i can't be valedictorian, i'm not a genuis like you"
If you are someone who has EVER said anything like this, or anything remotely similar to this, to me, or ANYONE else in my position (not just school, anywhere being highly ranked in something), then FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO MUCH THAT I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE ON YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING FOOD AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WAKE UP EVER AGAIN AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING NEVER SUCCEED IN LIFE AND I HOPE WHEN I GO TO A GAS STATION IN 15 YEARS YOU'RE FUCKING PUMPING MY GAS BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FAIL AT LIFE AND YOU ARE A PIECE OF MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.
there. that is my pent-up rage i have not ever expressed, i don't think, yet in my high school career. yes. i hate it. i hate being number 1. i hate being lead trumpet, lead horn, i hate being known by everyone. i want to be a nobody. i hate where i am, and i hate IGNORANT, STUPID, RETARDED PEOPLE who will NEVER, EVER grow up. for all of you who wish you could be higher ranked, who wish you were at the top of your class, you don't. because the stigma is entirely not worth the honor. i want to go where i want to go for college, even if it is URochester or UNH or WPI, and i want to not care what everyone thinks or says, but everyone lets what others say get to them a little, and to this certain degree, it is making me insane.
do you have any idea the kinds of things i'm going to hear if i dont go to an ivy league?
i fucking hate the stigma. it is driving me nuts. fuck you little green...no, i take that back, it isnt your fault, although my fucking picture ran through the whole damn school in that atrocity. since the entire fucking place now knows i am valedictorian, i have not stopped hearing these ever-so-familiar phrases (which i have heard before, but not in quite so much abundance as this now):
"Hey Neil, you should know the answer to this, you're valedictorian!! hahaha!!"
"Hey, where you going to school, Harvard??"
"Where'd you apply?" (I tell them) "Oh My GOD!! You're not going to go to UNH or anything that's not an IVY LEAGUE, are you?"
"What? you didn't get it right? i thought you were like a genius or something, you're valedictorian!"
(After i help someone with a math/chem/whatever problem) "Jeez, sorry i can't be valedictorian, i'm not a genuis like you"
If you are someone who has EVER said anything like this, or anything remotely similar to this, to me, or ANYONE else in my position (not just school, anywhere being highly ranked in something), then FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU SO MUCH THAT I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE ON YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING FOOD AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WAKE UP EVER AGAIN AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING NEVER SUCCEED IN LIFE AND I HOPE WHEN I GO TO A GAS STATION IN 15 YEARS YOU'RE FUCKING PUMPING MY GAS BECAUSE YOU FUCKING FAIL AT LIFE AND YOU ARE A PIECE OF MOTHER FUCKING SHIT.
there. that is my pent-up rage i have not ever expressed, i don't think, yet in my high school career. yes. i hate it. i hate being number 1. i hate being lead trumpet, lead horn, i hate being known by everyone. i want to be a nobody. i hate where i am, and i hate IGNORANT, STUPID, RETARDED PEOPLE who will NEVER, EVER grow up. for all of you who wish you could be higher ranked, who wish you were at the top of your class, you don't. because the stigma is entirely not worth the honor. i want to go where i want to go for college, even if it is URochester or UNH or WPI, and i want to not care what everyone thinks or says, but everyone lets what others say get to them a little, and to this certain degree, it is making me insane.
do you have any idea the kinds of things i'm going to hear if i dont go to an ivy league?