No instructions included, some assembly required
You know, I always knew that life didn't have an instruction manual, and I've been pretty cool with that for the most part. Usually I've just kinda made life up as I went along, and in return life has rewarded me with a good life, unique attitude and balanced lifestlye.
To chop and screw a few religious expressions: I feel that my life is very "Christian Zen". I follow the bible and like to keep a balance in my life in spots where the bible doesn't exactly address an issue. For example: I'm very much in favor of gasoline alternatives and hybrid cars...I'm pretty sure Solomon in his infinate wisdom didn't cram that in between adoring his wife and advising his sons.
Anyway for the last week or so I definately feel that my balance has been thrown off and I can pretty much attribute it to being back home. It's the first time that I've been home for a full week since my dad died. It's not that I'm overly emotional but it's just different. It's that "can't put it in words different".
It's kinda weird being around people that I grew up with but haven't really had a lot of contact with over the last 3 years or so because of school. One thing I've noticed is that I feel like people are kinda tip-toey around me. Like they're afraid that I'm not ok. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what but it's just what it seems like It also seems like people keep looking at me wondering if I'm going to flip out and worrying about me because they don't know if I'm "greiving appropriatly" or "enough".
Whoever decided what grieving appropriately was? If someone did decide on it can I get the checklist? I dunno. I just feel like I'm not a normal person, no better or worse just not normal. I see the world differently than everyone else, thus I deal with life (and more expressly death) differently than everyone else.
In case some didn't know I handle my emotions when they come as they come, so I usually know how I feel and why I feel it. This leaves me more in touch with my emotions than others. I'm sure not many people can say that about themselves. At times this makes me come across as emotionless, but it's just that I've delt with and neutralized any negative emotion surrounding the issue.
I guess it just annoys me when I feel like people are holding out on me. Seriously IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ASK. I'm not boxed in or anything, I just don't know that you want to know. Also, don't ask me how I'm doing. That's the most flat, blanket question that you could possibly ask. Just cut the crap, stop tip toe-ing around the issue and ask me the question (this actually goes for any information that you wish to aquire from me).
I guess now I can finish up with the normal bloggy business: Life's going fine I'm at home on break and I can't wait to see what I'm getting for Christmas. I'm sure no one really looked at my Amazon.com wish list but I still think I'll come out ok. I can't wait to start my last semester at Winthrop. It's gonna be nice 15 hours no classes before 11 a.m.
I'll see you blog heads around. Holla.
To chop and screw a few religious expressions: I feel that my life is very "Christian Zen". I follow the bible and like to keep a balance in my life in spots where the bible doesn't exactly address an issue. For example: I'm very much in favor of gasoline alternatives and hybrid cars...I'm pretty sure Solomon in his infinate wisdom didn't cram that in between adoring his wife and advising his sons.
Anyway for the last week or so I definately feel that my balance has been thrown off and I can pretty much attribute it to being back home. It's the first time that I've been home for a full week since my dad died. It's not that I'm overly emotional but it's just different. It's that "can't put it in words different".
It's kinda weird being around people that I grew up with but haven't really had a lot of contact with over the last 3 years or so because of school. One thing I've noticed is that I feel like people are kinda tip-toey around me. Like they're afraid that I'm not ok. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what but it's just what it seems like It also seems like people keep looking at me wondering if I'm going to flip out and worrying about me because they don't know if I'm "greiving appropriatly" or "enough".
Whoever decided what grieving appropriately was? If someone did decide on it can I get the checklist? I dunno. I just feel like I'm not a normal person, no better or worse just not normal. I see the world differently than everyone else, thus I deal with life (and more expressly death) differently than everyone else.
In case some didn't know I handle my emotions when they come as they come, so I usually know how I feel and why I feel it. This leaves me more in touch with my emotions than others. I'm sure not many people can say that about themselves. At times this makes me come across as emotionless, but it's just that I've delt with and neutralized any negative emotion surrounding the issue.
I guess it just annoys me when I feel like people are holding out on me. Seriously IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ASK. I'm not boxed in or anything, I just don't know that you want to know. Also, don't ask me how I'm doing. That's the most flat, blanket question that you could possibly ask. Just cut the crap, stop tip toe-ing around the issue and ask me the question (this actually goes for any information that you wish to aquire from me).
I guess now I can finish up with the normal bloggy business: Life's going fine I'm at home on break and I can't wait to see what I'm getting for Christmas. I'm sure no one really looked at my Amazon.com wish list but I still think I'll come out ok. I can't wait to start my last semester at Winthrop. It's gonna be nice 15 hours no classes before 11 a.m.
I'll see you blog heads around. Holla.