A Week in the Sexual Life of Serbia
From the kink meme
Monday
As always, it was after a meeting where Serbia and Montenegro argued viciously to the annoyance of the other nations. Russia told Serbia to calm down, he adored Montenegro because of the warmth and is wasn't fair. Serbia hated it, hated how Montenegro had dumped him, left their union and him.
“You're nothing but a pathetic semi-nation,” Serbia said.
Montenegro pushed him against the wall without a word, he might be shorter but he had always been surprisingly strong anyway. He still thought he was stronger no matter how many times he was proven wrong. Serbia could have smashed his head against the same wall a couple of times to show who was in charge but he didn't, he missed the times when Montenegro was his shadow and backup. For a moment they could both pretend is was like old times, violently making out, biting and tasting blood with hands in each others pants.
“You brought me nothing but misery,” Montenegro said.
“I hate you,” Serbia said, hoping, praying they were both lying to hurt each other.
“Feeling's mutual.”
A silent click froze them both in place, Montenegro slowly turned his head in horror. Hungary hid her camera a little too late and she began to walk faster in the opposite direction.
“Hey! Come back!” Montenegro yelled, running after her as fast as he could in his embarrassing aroused state. Serbia didn't bother, he would post it on fucking facebook if he could convince her to send him a copy. It could have the topic "Montenegro says he's my ex eh?”. He supported himself against the wall, unfortunately getting even more turned on of the thought of his ex's reaction.
Tuesday
Hungary did end up posting the photo on facebook. A less R-rated one of them kissing. Serbia liked it and commented it could turn into a threesome if she wished before he mockingly changed his own status to 'it's complicated' with Montenegro. Hungary and Austria had a period like that after their divorce as well. Serbia had great hopes they would get over it too eventually, Montenegro would apologize and they would hang out again. In a less gay way than Hungary and Austria.
Somewhere else Montenegro almost died of embarrassment.
Wednesday
China fortunately hated facebook and only eastern Europe were the slightest interested in the drama, it was unlikely someone would consider it worth telling him. Not that China would care but he would prefer if China didn't smile innocently, silently judging him for being a complete idiot.
“You live half the world away,” Serbia halfheartedly complained when China wanted to invite him over for tea.
“Do as you wish aru,” China said and hang up. Someone once jokingly said bad manners was one thing they had in common. And bad language skills, Serbia thought Chinese was hopeless and China thought Serbian was too much of a bother to learn when no one important spoke it anyway. Manners really wasn't his strong side.
Well, a long travel to China would be better than waiting to see if Montenegro would call to either continue what they started or yell at him.
Thursday
It was both endlessly embarrassing and insanely hot to be China's booty call. It would most likely work the other way around too but Serbia never called. He liked being missed (and he wasn't about to give China the opportunity to turn him down).
“I have a meeting with America tomorrow,” China said, purring with pleasure over the thought.”Try to not leave marks.”
“Think he wants to borrow more money?”
It had to be something like that, otherwise China wouldn't be happy.
“He may,” China said. “Or try to be nice and ask questions about my new stealth plane that aren't nearly as innocent as he thinks. Thank you for the assistance by the way.”
“Don't mention it. Seriously, don't.”
The only answer was a soft laughter. China was gorgeous when he was content instead of grumpy and bossy, even when content of disturbing reasons.
For his age he had surprisingly soft skin, Serbia mused, as he touched China's naked skin. The incredible difference in age disturbed him when he thought of it. He tried not to.
China always flinched a little when someone touched the scar on his back, this time was no exception. Serbia always did because he loved seeing China shudder and retell the story of Japan's betrayal. It was a ritual between the two of them. Serbia ran his fingers across China's scars, first carefully then more harshly, as China told the story of his so called brother turned against him. China's story was filled with betrayal and degradation, only for him to rise above in the end. In an unspoken agreement China always left Russia out of it, though Russia had played his part in China's humiliation. When they came to the part of China's rise Serbia was kissing the scars, too turned on to even think clearly. The story of being betrayed by everyone spoke to him in a deep level he didn't care to acknowledge even to himself.
He did know they played this game together because it was safe, not even Greece believed it when Serbia bragged about what China let him do. And China dominated the game, even if Serbia dominated in bed. But as always it didn't matter when China moved his head, begging for a kiss and then begging even harder to be fucked.
Friday
Serbia had jet lag and headache while his boss tried to make him do things. God he was an idiot for coming whenever China called. But it was irresistible, China was so pretty he almost looked like a girl, usually nice and an amazing fuck no matter how creepy he could be at times. People had done worse things for good sex in the history of nations.
Montenegro sent an angry text of 'change your status now or I will force Estonia to hack your account'. It was a formidable threat, if he thought for a moment Estonia would be intimidated.
Saturday
Belarus had threatened to kill Serbia in delightfully graphic ways along the years. To her pretended annoyance he always treated it more like a bonding ritual than a threat. His marriage with Montenegro had started the same way. The divorce too, come to think of it...
It was a bit unfair how the only thing people seemed to remember about Belarus was threats like tat and how obsessed she was with her brother. Belarus had many other fascinating and strange sides. Her interest in the occult blended with her quiet respect of her church, a private but intense affair as it should be. How she was recklessly determined and brave. She seldom smiled but the times she did it was dazzling. Yet Serbia liked her frown even better, you couldn't trust people who smiled all the time for no reason at all. Russia didn't smile at Serbia and Belarus as much as he did at the rest of the world, which they both considered a relief.
On memorable occasions Belarus dragged him along on her current scheme to discover when she would get married. For a while she had used Ouija boards, which was pretty sexy. Sitting on the floor with Russia and Ukraine in a dark room while Belarus bossed them around had a certain appeal, not to mention how funny Russia's horror had been. During a short but intense period she had tried out heptatomancy, divination by the means of gutting animals, a word the world would have been better off if she never learned.
Today's excursion was to meet an old woman who looked deep into a cliché crystal ball for a long time. Right now Belarus was into fortune tellers, the shadier the better.
Belarus pressed his hand hard, still excited to hear the answer even after all the times she asked the same question. The woman suddenly looked up, turning her head in a dramatic gesture best fitted for cheap horror movies. In a whisper proclaiming utter doom she answered, never.
“What an idiot,” Belarus muttered. Wisely the fortune teller had made them pay in advance, maybe she did have some power of precognition after all.
“They're just making shit up, have you ever got the same answer twice?”
“They often say in spring,” Belarus replied. “Spring weddings are nice.”
Serbia failed to hold back a snicker, Belarus kicked him hard enough to bruise. When they unavoidably ended up in bed together Serbia woke up with scratch marks all over his body and Belarus snuggling next to him.
Sunday
Sunday was church day and he was lucky today, Russia had time to spare and didn't stalk Lithuania and Poland, insist on making friends with Italy who was hilariously terrified of him or even cuddle with Montenegro. Probably because it was winter and he lost his appeal to Russia that time of the year. Come to think of it, that must burn. It made Serbia feel bad for his ex, Montenegro was usually more loyal than that.
Serbia made sure to wear long sleeves to avoid awkward questions. It would have worked if he didn't get enthusiastic in the middle of a conversation and gestured cheerfully.
“What happened to your arms?” Russia said, the previous topic forgotten.
Serbia tried to tug down his sleeves even further.
“Cats! Greece has a lot of stupid cats!”
“I never heard of Greece's cats attacking anyone but you.”
“Eh, it's weird, isn't it?”
“You should be more careful about what you let into your home,” Russia said, stopping Serbia from hiding the gashes.
“Like you care.”
“I do. Sometimes.”
Russia smiled in that completely untrustworthy way, his hand still on Serbia's arm. Stupid Russia playing stupid games and sending mixed messages.
Yet, as always, Serbia didn't want him to leave and was disappointed when he eventually did, even with the unsolicited advice and random weirdness he brought. Even if Belarus was insanely jealous and wouldn't speak to him for weeks if she found out they had been alone together. Even if he sometimes ended up with depressing thoughts of how he had as limited appeal to Russia as Montenegro. Endless even ifs and Serbia still loved Russia. Healthy relationships weren't his thing, at this point he learned to live with it.
Monday
As always, it was after a meeting where Serbia and Montenegro argued viciously to the annoyance of the other nations. Russia told Serbia to calm down, he adored Montenegro because of the warmth and is wasn't fair. Serbia hated it, hated how Montenegro had dumped him, left their union and him.
“You're nothing but a pathetic semi-nation,” Serbia said.
Montenegro pushed him against the wall without a word, he might be shorter but he had always been surprisingly strong anyway. He still thought he was stronger no matter how many times he was proven wrong. Serbia could have smashed his head against the same wall a couple of times to show who was in charge but he didn't, he missed the times when Montenegro was his shadow and backup. For a moment they could both pretend is was like old times, violently making out, biting and tasting blood with hands in each others pants.
“You brought me nothing but misery,” Montenegro said.
“I hate you,” Serbia said, hoping, praying they were both lying to hurt each other.
“Feeling's mutual.”
A silent click froze them both in place, Montenegro slowly turned his head in horror. Hungary hid her camera a little too late and she began to walk faster in the opposite direction.
“Hey! Come back!” Montenegro yelled, running after her as fast as he could in his embarrassing aroused state. Serbia didn't bother, he would post it on fucking facebook if he could convince her to send him a copy. It could have the topic "Montenegro says he's my ex eh?”. He supported himself against the wall, unfortunately getting even more turned on of the thought of his ex's reaction.
Tuesday
Hungary did end up posting the photo on facebook. A less R-rated one of them kissing. Serbia liked it and commented it could turn into a threesome if she wished before he mockingly changed his own status to 'it's complicated' with Montenegro. Hungary and Austria had a period like that after their divorce as well. Serbia had great hopes they would get over it too eventually, Montenegro would apologize and they would hang out again. In a less gay way than Hungary and Austria.
Somewhere else Montenegro almost died of embarrassment.
Wednesday
China fortunately hated facebook and only eastern Europe were the slightest interested in the drama, it was unlikely someone would consider it worth telling him. Not that China would care but he would prefer if China didn't smile innocently, silently judging him for being a complete idiot.
“You live half the world away,” Serbia halfheartedly complained when China wanted to invite him over for tea.
“Do as you wish aru,” China said and hang up. Someone once jokingly said bad manners was one thing they had in common. And bad language skills, Serbia thought Chinese was hopeless and China thought Serbian was too much of a bother to learn when no one important spoke it anyway. Manners really wasn't his strong side.
Well, a long travel to China would be better than waiting to see if Montenegro would call to either continue what they started or yell at him.
Thursday
It was both endlessly embarrassing and insanely hot to be China's booty call. It would most likely work the other way around too but Serbia never called. He liked being missed (and he wasn't about to give China the opportunity to turn him down).
“I have a meeting with America tomorrow,” China said, purring with pleasure over the thought.”Try to not leave marks.”
“Think he wants to borrow more money?”
It had to be something like that, otherwise China wouldn't be happy.
“He may,” China said. “Or try to be nice and ask questions about my new stealth plane that aren't nearly as innocent as he thinks. Thank you for the assistance by the way.”
“Don't mention it. Seriously, don't.”
The only answer was a soft laughter. China was gorgeous when he was content instead of grumpy and bossy, even when content of disturbing reasons.
For his age he had surprisingly soft skin, Serbia mused, as he touched China's naked skin. The incredible difference in age disturbed him when he thought of it. He tried not to.
China always flinched a little when someone touched the scar on his back, this time was no exception. Serbia always did because he loved seeing China shudder and retell the story of Japan's betrayal. It was a ritual between the two of them. Serbia ran his fingers across China's scars, first carefully then more harshly, as China told the story of his so called brother turned against him. China's story was filled with betrayal and degradation, only for him to rise above in the end. In an unspoken agreement China always left Russia out of it, though Russia had played his part in China's humiliation. When they came to the part of China's rise Serbia was kissing the scars, too turned on to even think clearly. The story of being betrayed by everyone spoke to him in a deep level he didn't care to acknowledge even to himself.
He did know they played this game together because it was safe, not even Greece believed it when Serbia bragged about what China let him do. And China dominated the game, even if Serbia dominated in bed. But as always it didn't matter when China moved his head, begging for a kiss and then begging even harder to be fucked.
Friday
Serbia had jet lag and headache while his boss tried to make him do things. God he was an idiot for coming whenever China called. But it was irresistible, China was so pretty he almost looked like a girl, usually nice and an amazing fuck no matter how creepy he could be at times. People had done worse things for good sex in the history of nations.
Montenegro sent an angry text of 'change your status now or I will force Estonia to hack your account'. It was a formidable threat, if he thought for a moment Estonia would be intimidated.
Saturday
Belarus had threatened to kill Serbia in delightfully graphic ways along the years. To her pretended annoyance he always treated it more like a bonding ritual than a threat. His marriage with Montenegro had started the same way. The divorce too, come to think of it...
It was a bit unfair how the only thing people seemed to remember about Belarus was threats like tat and how obsessed she was with her brother. Belarus had many other fascinating and strange sides. Her interest in the occult blended with her quiet respect of her church, a private but intense affair as it should be. How she was recklessly determined and brave. She seldom smiled but the times she did it was dazzling. Yet Serbia liked her frown even better, you couldn't trust people who smiled all the time for no reason at all. Russia didn't smile at Serbia and Belarus as much as he did at the rest of the world, which they both considered a relief.
On memorable occasions Belarus dragged him along on her current scheme to discover when she would get married. For a while she had used Ouija boards, which was pretty sexy. Sitting on the floor with Russia and Ukraine in a dark room while Belarus bossed them around had a certain appeal, not to mention how funny Russia's horror had been. During a short but intense period she had tried out heptatomancy, divination by the means of gutting animals, a word the world would have been better off if she never learned.
Today's excursion was to meet an old woman who looked deep into a cliché crystal ball for a long time. Right now Belarus was into fortune tellers, the shadier the better.
Belarus pressed his hand hard, still excited to hear the answer even after all the times she asked the same question. The woman suddenly looked up, turning her head in a dramatic gesture best fitted for cheap horror movies. In a whisper proclaiming utter doom she answered, never.
“What an idiot,” Belarus muttered. Wisely the fortune teller had made them pay in advance, maybe she did have some power of precognition after all.
“They're just making shit up, have you ever got the same answer twice?”
“They often say in spring,” Belarus replied. “Spring weddings are nice.”
Serbia failed to hold back a snicker, Belarus kicked him hard enough to bruise. When they unavoidably ended up in bed together Serbia woke up with scratch marks all over his body and Belarus snuggling next to him.
Sunday
Sunday was church day and he was lucky today, Russia had time to spare and didn't stalk Lithuania and Poland, insist on making friends with Italy who was hilariously terrified of him or even cuddle with Montenegro. Probably because it was winter and he lost his appeal to Russia that time of the year. Come to think of it, that must burn. It made Serbia feel bad for his ex, Montenegro was usually more loyal than that.
Serbia made sure to wear long sleeves to avoid awkward questions. It would have worked if he didn't get enthusiastic in the middle of a conversation and gestured cheerfully.
“What happened to your arms?” Russia said, the previous topic forgotten.
Serbia tried to tug down his sleeves even further.
“Cats! Greece has a lot of stupid cats!”
“I never heard of Greece's cats attacking anyone but you.”
“Eh, it's weird, isn't it?”
“You should be more careful about what you let into your home,” Russia said, stopping Serbia from hiding the gashes.
“Like you care.”
“I do. Sometimes.”
Russia smiled in that completely untrustworthy way, his hand still on Serbia's arm. Stupid Russia playing stupid games and sending mixed messages.
Yet, as always, Serbia didn't want him to leave and was disappointed when he eventually did, even with the unsolicited advice and random weirdness he brought. Even if Belarus was insanely jealous and wouldn't speak to him for weeks if she found out they had been alone together. Even if he sometimes ended up with depressing thoughts of how he had as limited appeal to Russia as Montenegro. Endless even ifs and Serbia still loved Russia. Healthy relationships weren't his thing, at this point he learned to live with it.