(no subject)
Who: Xiao Feng and Subaru.
What: Clearly the most awesome cracked up log in the history of ever, second only to the coathanger log. (This one has references to beige socks and ... rules for Xiao Feng's apartment. Read it.)
When: This afternoonish?
Subaru really had no idea why he'd decided to come to Beijing in the first place. All right, so he did--trying to get away from Seishirou, trying to clear his head, though of course Seishirou had followed him and thwarted the whole purpose of the trip.
What he really didn't understand was how Xiao Feng had managed to talk him into shopping. He was utterly lost and confused and unsure as to what in the world he was supposed to be doing.
Xiao Feng snapped her fingers. "RIGHT!" she said, loudly, in accented English. People turned to look at her, and she blew them a kiss enthusiastically, before continuing. "Wipe that dumb look off your face, mister! People might think you're men-tall-y ... dis... dis.. stuffed up!"
"I hate shopping," Subaru replied in his own accented English. "I never know what I'm supposed to be doing and... and..." He shook his head. "What are we even looking for?"
She looked at him with utter disbelief. "Shiny things!" She let out an exaggerated sigh and folded her arms, the bells on her bracelets jingling a little as she did so. "Honestly, don't you know anything? Shi-ny things."
"....why?" he asked feebly, fearing that he wasn't going to like the answer.
"Because! If you don't have shiny things..." Xiao Feng looked at what he was wearing critically. "And you don't. Apparently. Anywho~ ... If you don't have shiny things, then you're unshiny, and that's not awesome. And being awesome, is awesome."
Something caught her eye, and almost immediately she span around and pointed at it.
"Now that," she declared, beaming approvingly at a very pink ... thing. "Is awesome."
"....it's... pink," he said rather critically. "I don't know why that would make it awesome. And I don't need shiny things. I dress how it's convenient."
More like getting up and tossing on whatever was clean.
"Can we go now?"
"No! Where is your enthusiasm? Are all ri ben gui-- Japanese people like this?" She then proceeded to jab him in the stomach. "And that's not convenient, that's ugly."
"No, not all Japanese people are like this," Subaru replied a little too calmly. "And it doesn't matter if it's ugly. I don't have to look good to do my work. Can we please go now?"
"No!" She flailed her arms a bit. "Look around you! This is Bei Jing! City of ... stuff! ... Shiny stuff! Don't sound so deadpan and uninterested! It's rude, you know. In fact it's racist. Clearly. Racism. Racism!"
"R--why would it be racist?" He blinked once. "Have I offended? I'm sorry?"
"Don't be sil-- I mean. Yes! You have offended." She nodded furiously. "So therefore you have to come shopping with me, see? Makes perfect sense, and everything! 'Cause it's important."
"....er." He sensed that he'd backed himself into a corner. "All right, all right, we can keep looking, but do we really have to be out here so much longer?"
"Shopping isn't something to be done over a few mere minutes, Subaru. Hours! Hours upon hours of awesome and shiny. You need awesome and shiny. Lots of it. In fact, hours. Aren't you glad you met me? Sure you are. And don't you worry about what happens when the sun goes down! There aren't that many rapists. Just beggars! Oh. If you see them, don't stare at them, it's rude." Xiao Feng could talk very fast if she wanted to.
"As long as there are no skirts involved, I guess I'll deal with it," he mumbled, and then glanced up rather quickly. "There are rapists?!"
"Well, probably! But mostly they don't like guys. I don't think. But there could be female rapists."
"..." Subaru quickly wiped his mind clear of the thought he'd just had. "Why do we have to find 'shiny things'? I don't really need them."
Xiao Feng rolled her eyes. "Yes you do. You do. A lot. You are in great need of shiny things. And shiny things aren't going to rape you, stupid. Or rapists. I don't think there's that any at this time of day. But even if there are...! There is absolutely no~thing~ to be afraid of. I'm here!" Xiao Feng was almost eighteen but was as tall as an eleven year old, and looked as frightening and as threatening as a seven year old.
Subaru looked down at her, and very slowly shook his head.
"I really don't like shopping," he said, moving on.
"But it's important," she insisted, scowling.
"Is it?" he asked, shrugging. "I never really saw the point."
"I thought I explained the point!"
"Shiny things. Still don't get it," he replied.
"You forgot the part where shiny things equal awesome. Obviously this is all to do with mathematics."
"I dropped out of high school. Are we done yet?"
"And I've been kicked out of too many to count. No, we're not!"
"You're still attending one, aren't you? And how much longer?"
"Well, yes, but barely! Several hours at the rate you're going."
"What will it take to get you to just stop with the shopping?" He caught glimpse of a rack of dresses and diliberately looked away.
"When some actual shopping gets done, duh." Xiao Feng moved over to the rack of dresses.
Subaru stayed a good distance away.
"And how long is that going to take?"
"Like I said! Several hours!" She turned away from the rack and moved towards another.
He still kept his distance.
"Is every day going to be like this?"
She grabbed a t-shirt out to inspect the design in better light.
"Possibly."
He let out a tiny sigh.
"Seishirou-san followed me. He said he might want to meet you."
"Who wouldn't want to meet me?" Xiao Feng put it back onto the rack and turned, beaming. "... Waa~ Followed you all the way to China. Dedication~"
"I wanted to come here alone," Subaru said stiffly. "The only dedication he has is the dedication to ruin my life."
"Mope mope mope, whine whine whine! Is that all you do?" If she were tall enough, she decided, she would hit him on the head. "No wonder you're so boring. Buuut I know what fixes boring...~"
"...shiny things?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Close! Shoe shopping~!" she chirped.
"What's wrong with my shoes?" he asked, moving on with some level of confusion.
"I'm not going to make a list for you." She frowned, and then glanced across the street, spying a shop, which she pointed at. "Destination!"
"Fine, fine," he said, watching the traffic go by. "How are we supposed to get over there?"
"You don't even know how to cross the street? You run, of course. Very fast."
Subaru shook his head, took a long breath, and ran as per Xiao Feng's command.
"You know," she said, after allowing some time for deep thought, when they'd reached the other side. "I think pink would go nicely with that ... whatever ... colour you're wearing~"
"....No pink," he said firmly, setting down a line right there.
"Light red."
"No."
"Very light dark red."
"I said no."
"You said no to pink and light red!"
"I don't want anything close to pink."
"Baby blue isn't close to pink~"
"...No."
"Purple."
"Xiao Feng..."
She huffed. "Rainbow."
"No."
"But you're so... rainbow."
"...what is that supposed to mean?"
"You just make me think of ... rainbows!"
"....why?"
"Well, I don't know. You just do." A pause. "Are you stalling? You're stalling, aren't you?"
"I'm not stalling! I'm confused!" If he was still the type to flail his arms, he might have done it. But he wasn't, and so he didn't.
And thus, Xiao Feng flailed for him. "Same thing!"
"No rainbow!"
"Fine. Fine!" She placed her hands on her hips. "You know what! I'm going to make you wear beige socks. SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEIGE SOCKS."
"Beige is a good color!" he retorted. "Not like purple, or pink, or... rainbow."
She stared up at him, mortified.
"What?!" There was the tiniest bit of a flail.
"Ew. Ew. Who taught you beige was a good colour? Lies and slander!"
"I taught myself! What's wrong with it?" He gave a tiny huff. "Can we leave yet?"
"Beige is a grandma colour, and no!"
"It is not. And this is boring!"
"You're talking to me about boring oh what is wrong with the world today?!"
"Are you implying that I'm boring?" He hadn't yelled like this in ... he couldn't remember how long. People were giving them looks.
"Yes! Yes I am! And you also have a horrible fashion sense!" She was used to getting looks (good or bad), and so she ignored them.
"It is not horrible! Who do you think you are, my sister?"
"No! I'm just stating a very, very, very solid fact!"
"I hate shopping!" he hissed, throwing his arms up in the air. "Can we please go now?"
"Oh, fine! And put those arms down, we don't know how long it's been since you showered, air pollution and all that! Now, can you see a bus stop?"
"I do so shower!" Huff. "And no, I don't, and I don't know where the closest one is..."
"Actually, stick your hand in the air and jump around a bit when you see a taxi, okay?"
"I thought you just told me not to put my hands in the air."
"Well, yes, that's what the 'actually' was for!"
Subaru let out a sigh. "And I'm supposed to just stand here, with my arm up like this," he raised it, "and look like an idiot?"
"Nobody ever notices me when I try because I'm too short, that's why I take the bus, see!"
"Well, if you knew where a bus stop was..." Subaru watched the road for a taxi.
"I did! Then I forgot. So, I knew where a bus stop was."
"But you don't know where one is now."
"The keyword was knew!"
"...Right. Well. Help me look for a taxi, then."
"Over th-- Nooo wait someone already got on it. Oh, oh-- Nope, too late! OH-- Nope again!"
Subaru looked rather helpless, and gave Xiao Feng a pitiful look.
"No no no don't look at me, eyes on the prize, Subaru! Eyes on the prize."
"What prize?" Hooooooooooooooonk.
"Shut up-- WEI WEI WEI!!" She hopped up and down and waved frantically.
The taxi pulled in front of them; Subaru rushed out to get inside. "Finally," he muttered softly.
After sitting down, she told the driver the destination, and promptly began to fumble for something in her purse as the taxi began to move.
Subaru rubbed his forehead with one hand.
"So where are we going?"
"Oh. My place," she replied, pulling out a cellphone.
He shrugged at that, leaning back and inspecting the ceiling of the taxi.
After several minutes of little else other than the bad music filling the taxi from the radio and the blipping sounds of Xiao Feng's cellphone as she played tetris, the taxi stopped in front of an apartment block. Xiao Feng blinked, turned off the cellphone and grabbed her wallet to pay the driver.
"I have money," Subaru said quickly. "I can pay."
"That'd just take longer," she said, handing the money over, before opening the door.
He sighed, climbing out of the taxi behind her.
"I was trying to be a gentleman..."
"I know," she chirped. "But that's boring so I didn't let you. Problem solved! Now ..." She pulled a card from her pocket and hopped up some steps towards the front doors.
Subaru followed after her.
"Am I really that boring?"
She pressed the card against a panel off to the side and with a click the doors unlocked. "Uhm. Well. Weeeell. ...... Preeetty much!"
"..." He shrugged. To be honest, he probably should have seen it coming. "I apologize."
"Pff. You can't apologise for being boring. That's like me apologising for being awesome."
"But being boring is a bad thing, isn't it?" He headed into the apartment.
"But if you weren't boring you'd be, like..." She frowned. "... like... interesting."
"And that would be a good thing, wouldn't it?" She was easily just as confusing as Hokuto had ever been. The familiarity set him off a notch.
"But that would be frightening, and that's why you're boring!"
"...you're confusing," he said, rather plainly. "All the same, thank you for letting me stay here."
"I'm not confusing, I make perfect sense! You just can't make sense of my sense." She nodded firmly. "And-- pfff. It's not as if I was going to let you like, stay in a hotel. Or on the streets. With rapists. And hobos! And also rapists."
"Yes, those rapists present quite the problem, don't they." He wondered idly if the rapists she was babbling about were some kind of urban legend. "Still, I appreciate it."
"No problem!" She kicked her shoes off, tossed her purse onto a counter and flopped herself into the computer chair. "But! We have to lay down some rules, now. Rule number one! Always wear shoes in the kitchen because no matter what I do there is always probably going to be glass in there. Always!"
"...understood," he said slowly, knowing better than to ask why. "What's rule number two?"
"Rule number two is 'don't bother the dustbunnies and the dustbunnies won't bother you.'"
"...I don't plan on bothering any dustbunnies," he said with a nod.
She paused. "... Rule number threeee~ is that the bathroom? Is girls only!"
"..." He paused, fished openmouthed for a few moments. Paused again.
"So what am I supposed to..."
Xiao Feng grinned. "Unless..."
"...unless?" he croaked. He was not liking the direction this was going.
"There are a few exceptions, you know~"
"Like what?"
"Like, if you're dressed like a girl...!"
"...You're not serious."
Her grin widened.
He shook his head, stepping back.
"I am not going around all of Beijing for a week dressed in a skirt."
"Only when you need the bathroom!"
"That's still ridiculous."
"Oh, okay~" She twiddled her thumbs. "Well~ I can find you a bucket!"
"...Xiao Feng, you really can't be serious."
"I'm being perfectly serious! Red or blue?"
"...for what?" he asked weakly, sensing that there was no way out.
"Well, let's see! I have a red bucket, and a blue bucket... and a red dress, and a blue one..."
"...why do you insist on making me wear a dress?" Oh god. If Seishirou saw him, he would never live it down.
"Shall I await your decision~? I have pleeenty of time." She swiveled idly in the chair. "In the meantime, help yourself to water if you're thirsty~"
"...it's not fair, you know," he said, one last protest. "Even my sister never made me wear a dress." Though she had tried.
"I would be creating history, then! Doing things no one else has done before!"
"It's not necessarily a good thing!"
"That's subjective!"
He paused for a moment longer, closed his eyes, counted to ten.
"....red."
"Done and done!"
Subaru groaned, and raised his hand to his forehead again.
He was not looking forward to the next week.
What: Clearly the most awesome cracked up log in the history of ever, second only to the coathanger log. (This one has references to beige socks and ... rules for Xiao Feng's apartment. Read it.)
When: This afternoonish?
Subaru really had no idea why he'd decided to come to Beijing in the first place. All right, so he did--trying to get away from Seishirou, trying to clear his head, though of course Seishirou had followed him and thwarted the whole purpose of the trip.
What he really didn't understand was how Xiao Feng had managed to talk him into shopping. He was utterly lost and confused and unsure as to what in the world he was supposed to be doing.
Xiao Feng snapped her fingers. "RIGHT!" she said, loudly, in accented English. People turned to look at her, and she blew them a kiss enthusiastically, before continuing. "Wipe that dumb look off your face, mister! People might think you're men-tall-y ... dis... dis.. stuffed up!"
"I hate shopping," Subaru replied in his own accented English. "I never know what I'm supposed to be doing and... and..." He shook his head. "What are we even looking for?"
She looked at him with utter disbelief. "Shiny things!" She let out an exaggerated sigh and folded her arms, the bells on her bracelets jingling a little as she did so. "Honestly, don't you know anything? Shi-ny things."
"....why?" he asked feebly, fearing that he wasn't going to like the answer.
"Because! If you don't have shiny things..." Xiao Feng looked at what he was wearing critically. "And you don't. Apparently. Anywho~ ... If you don't have shiny things, then you're unshiny, and that's not awesome. And being awesome, is awesome."
Something caught her eye, and almost immediately she span around and pointed at it.
"Now that," she declared, beaming approvingly at a very pink ... thing. "Is awesome."
"....it's... pink," he said rather critically. "I don't know why that would make it awesome. And I don't need shiny things. I dress how it's convenient."
More like getting up and tossing on whatever was clean.
"Can we go now?"
"No! Where is your enthusiasm? Are all ri ben gui-- Japanese people like this?" She then proceeded to jab him in the stomach. "And that's not convenient, that's ugly."
"No, not all Japanese people are like this," Subaru replied a little too calmly. "And it doesn't matter if it's ugly. I don't have to look good to do my work. Can we please go now?"
"No!" She flailed her arms a bit. "Look around you! This is Bei Jing! City of ... stuff! ... Shiny stuff! Don't sound so deadpan and uninterested! It's rude, you know. In fact it's racist. Clearly. Racism. Racism!"
"R--why would it be racist?" He blinked once. "Have I offended? I'm sorry?"
"Don't be sil-- I mean. Yes! You have offended." She nodded furiously. "So therefore you have to come shopping with me, see? Makes perfect sense, and everything! 'Cause it's important."
"....er." He sensed that he'd backed himself into a corner. "All right, all right, we can keep looking, but do we really have to be out here so much longer?"
"Shopping isn't something to be done over a few mere minutes, Subaru. Hours! Hours upon hours of awesome and shiny. You need awesome and shiny. Lots of it. In fact, hours. Aren't you glad you met me? Sure you are. And don't you worry about what happens when the sun goes down! There aren't that many rapists. Just beggars! Oh. If you see them, don't stare at them, it's rude." Xiao Feng could talk very fast if she wanted to.
"As long as there are no skirts involved, I guess I'll deal with it," he mumbled, and then glanced up rather quickly. "There are rapists?!"
"Well, probably! But mostly they don't like guys. I don't think. But there could be female rapists."
"..." Subaru quickly wiped his mind clear of the thought he'd just had. "Why do we have to find 'shiny things'? I don't really need them."
Xiao Feng rolled her eyes. "Yes you do. You do. A lot. You are in great need of shiny things. And shiny things aren't going to rape you, stupid. Or rapists. I don't think there's that any at this time of day. But even if there are...! There is absolutely no~thing~ to be afraid of. I'm here!" Xiao Feng was almost eighteen but was as tall as an eleven year old, and looked as frightening and as threatening as a seven year old.
Subaru looked down at her, and very slowly shook his head.
"I really don't like shopping," he said, moving on.
"But it's important," she insisted, scowling.
"Is it?" he asked, shrugging. "I never really saw the point."
"I thought I explained the point!"
"Shiny things. Still don't get it," he replied.
"You forgot the part where shiny things equal awesome. Obviously this is all to do with mathematics."
"I dropped out of high school. Are we done yet?"
"And I've been kicked out of too many to count. No, we're not!"
"You're still attending one, aren't you? And how much longer?"
"Well, yes, but barely! Several hours at the rate you're going."
"What will it take to get you to just stop with the shopping?" He caught glimpse of a rack of dresses and diliberately looked away.
"When some actual shopping gets done, duh." Xiao Feng moved over to the rack of dresses.
Subaru stayed a good distance away.
"And how long is that going to take?"
"Like I said! Several hours!" She turned away from the rack and moved towards another.
He still kept his distance.
"Is every day going to be like this?"
She grabbed a t-shirt out to inspect the design in better light.
"Possibly."
He let out a tiny sigh.
"Seishirou-san followed me. He said he might want to meet you."
"Who wouldn't want to meet me?" Xiao Feng put it back onto the rack and turned, beaming. "... Waa~ Followed you all the way to China. Dedication~"
"I wanted to come here alone," Subaru said stiffly. "The only dedication he has is the dedication to ruin my life."
"Mope mope mope, whine whine whine! Is that all you do?" If she were tall enough, she decided, she would hit him on the head. "No wonder you're so boring. Buuut I know what fixes boring...~"
"...shiny things?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Close! Shoe shopping~!" she chirped.
"What's wrong with my shoes?" he asked, moving on with some level of confusion.
"I'm not going to make a list for you." She frowned, and then glanced across the street, spying a shop, which she pointed at. "Destination!"
"Fine, fine," he said, watching the traffic go by. "How are we supposed to get over there?"
"You don't even know how to cross the street? You run, of course. Very fast."
Subaru shook his head, took a long breath, and ran as per Xiao Feng's command.
"You know," she said, after allowing some time for deep thought, when they'd reached the other side. "I think pink would go nicely with that ... whatever ... colour you're wearing~"
"....No pink," he said firmly, setting down a line right there.
"Light red."
"No."
"Very light dark red."
"I said no."
"You said no to pink and light red!"
"I don't want anything close to pink."
"Baby blue isn't close to pink~"
"...No."
"Purple."
"Xiao Feng..."
She huffed. "Rainbow."
"No."
"But you're so... rainbow."
"...what is that supposed to mean?"
"You just make me think of ... rainbows!"
"....why?"
"Well, I don't know. You just do." A pause. "Are you stalling? You're stalling, aren't you?"
"I'm not stalling! I'm confused!" If he was still the type to flail his arms, he might have done it. But he wasn't, and so he didn't.
And thus, Xiao Feng flailed for him. "Same thing!"
"No rainbow!"
"Fine. Fine!" She placed her hands on her hips. "You know what! I'm going to make you wear beige socks. SEE HOW YOU LIKE BEIGE SOCKS."
"Beige is a good color!" he retorted. "Not like purple, or pink, or... rainbow."
She stared up at him, mortified.
"What?!" There was the tiniest bit of a flail.
"Ew. Ew. Who taught you beige was a good colour? Lies and slander!"
"I taught myself! What's wrong with it?" He gave a tiny huff. "Can we leave yet?"
"Beige is a grandma colour, and no!"
"It is not. And this is boring!"
"You're talking to me about boring oh what is wrong with the world today?!"
"Are you implying that I'm boring?" He hadn't yelled like this in ... he couldn't remember how long. People were giving them looks.
"Yes! Yes I am! And you also have a horrible fashion sense!" She was used to getting looks (good or bad), and so she ignored them.
"It is not horrible! Who do you think you are, my sister?"
"No! I'm just stating a very, very, very solid fact!"
"I hate shopping!" he hissed, throwing his arms up in the air. "Can we please go now?"
"Oh, fine! And put those arms down, we don't know how long it's been since you showered, air pollution and all that! Now, can you see a bus stop?"
"I do so shower!" Huff. "And no, I don't, and I don't know where the closest one is..."
"Actually, stick your hand in the air and jump around a bit when you see a taxi, okay?"
"I thought you just told me not to put my hands in the air."
"Well, yes, that's what the 'actually' was for!"
Subaru let out a sigh. "And I'm supposed to just stand here, with my arm up like this," he raised it, "and look like an idiot?"
"Nobody ever notices me when I try because I'm too short, that's why I take the bus, see!"
"Well, if you knew where a bus stop was..." Subaru watched the road for a taxi.
"I did! Then I forgot. So, I knew where a bus stop was."
"But you don't know where one is now."
"The keyword was knew!"
"...Right. Well. Help me look for a taxi, then."
"Over th-- Nooo wait someone already got on it. Oh, oh-- Nope, too late! OH-- Nope again!"
Subaru looked rather helpless, and gave Xiao Feng a pitiful look.
"No no no don't look at me, eyes on the prize, Subaru! Eyes on the prize."
"What prize?" Hooooooooooooooonk.
"Shut up-- WEI WEI WEI!!" She hopped up and down and waved frantically.
The taxi pulled in front of them; Subaru rushed out to get inside. "Finally," he muttered softly.
After sitting down, she told the driver the destination, and promptly began to fumble for something in her purse as the taxi began to move.
Subaru rubbed his forehead with one hand.
"So where are we going?"
"Oh. My place," she replied, pulling out a cellphone.
He shrugged at that, leaning back and inspecting the ceiling of the taxi.
After several minutes of little else other than the bad music filling the taxi from the radio and the blipping sounds of Xiao Feng's cellphone as she played tetris, the taxi stopped in front of an apartment block. Xiao Feng blinked, turned off the cellphone and grabbed her wallet to pay the driver.
"I have money," Subaru said quickly. "I can pay."
"That'd just take longer," she said, handing the money over, before opening the door.
He sighed, climbing out of the taxi behind her.
"I was trying to be a gentleman..."
"I know," she chirped. "But that's boring so I didn't let you. Problem solved! Now ..." She pulled a card from her pocket and hopped up some steps towards the front doors.
Subaru followed after her.
"Am I really that boring?"
She pressed the card against a panel off to the side and with a click the doors unlocked. "Uhm. Well. Weeeell. ...... Preeetty much!"
"..." He shrugged. To be honest, he probably should have seen it coming. "I apologize."
"Pff. You can't apologise for being boring. That's like me apologising for being awesome."
"But being boring is a bad thing, isn't it?" He headed into the apartment.
"But if you weren't boring you'd be, like..." She frowned. "... like... interesting."
"And that would be a good thing, wouldn't it?" She was easily just as confusing as Hokuto had ever been. The familiarity set him off a notch.
"But that would be frightening, and that's why you're boring!"
"...you're confusing," he said, rather plainly. "All the same, thank you for letting me stay here."
"I'm not confusing, I make perfect sense! You just can't make sense of my sense." She nodded firmly. "And-- pfff. It's not as if I was going to let you like, stay in a hotel. Or on the streets. With rapists. And hobos! And also rapists."
"Yes, those rapists present quite the problem, don't they." He wondered idly if the rapists she was babbling about were some kind of urban legend. "Still, I appreciate it."
"No problem!" She kicked her shoes off, tossed her purse onto a counter and flopped herself into the computer chair. "But! We have to lay down some rules, now. Rule number one! Always wear shoes in the kitchen because no matter what I do there is always probably going to be glass in there. Always!"
"...understood," he said slowly, knowing better than to ask why. "What's rule number two?"
"Rule number two is 'don't bother the dustbunnies and the dustbunnies won't bother you.'"
"...I don't plan on bothering any dustbunnies," he said with a nod.
She paused. "... Rule number threeee~ is that the bathroom? Is girls only!"
"..." He paused, fished openmouthed for a few moments. Paused again.
"So what am I supposed to..."
Xiao Feng grinned. "Unless..."
"...unless?" he croaked. He was not liking the direction this was going.
"There are a few exceptions, you know~"
"Like what?"
"Like, if you're dressed like a girl...!"
"...You're not serious."
Her grin widened.
He shook his head, stepping back.
"I am not going around all of Beijing for a week dressed in a skirt."
"Only when you need the bathroom!"
"That's still ridiculous."
"Oh, okay~" She twiddled her thumbs. "Well~ I can find you a bucket!"
"...Xiao Feng, you really can't be serious."
"I'm being perfectly serious! Red or blue?"
"...for what?" he asked weakly, sensing that there was no way out.
"Well, let's see! I have a red bucket, and a blue bucket... and a red dress, and a blue one..."
"...why do you insist on making me wear a dress?" Oh god. If Seishirou saw him, he would never live it down.
"Shall I await your decision~? I have pleeenty of time." She swiveled idly in the chair. "In the meantime, help yourself to water if you're thirsty~"
"...it's not fair, you know," he said, one last protest. "Even my sister never made me wear a dress." Though she had tried.
"I would be creating history, then! Doing things no one else has done before!"
"It's not necessarily a good thing!"
"That's subjective!"
He paused for a moment longer, closed his eyes, counted to ten.
"....red."
"Done and done!"
Subaru groaned, and raised his hand to his forehead again.
He was not looking forward to the next week.