Five Times Kris Surprises Adam || Adam/Kris || R || ~4,400 words
Five Times Kris Surprises Adam
Adam/Kris || R-ish || ~4,400 words
Adam doesn't know when his original opinion about Kris changed, when he had this realization that he had him pegged completely wrong, but he also doesn't know when he actually stopped caring either.
Thanks to colorofsmoke for the beta, and to likealocket for the last minute help. This is for samedifference_ who said, "Hey, if I'm gonna read AI fic, I'd read a fic where Kris surprises Adam." And this happened. It's not even her fandom, but she loves me so much she looked it over a few times too. ♥ Witty revision of a ten commandment goes to phaballa. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
One of the things Adam prides himself on is his ability to read people. Brad used to complain it was the gift from hell because Adam usually was the first to figure out the twists and turns to every television show and any suspense films that they would watch, but Adam never looked at it as an inadequacy. He usually has a good idea of what people want out of him, always keeping a watchful eye on his surroundings.
So when he meets Kris during Hollywood Week, he doesn't think anything of it. He figures that Kris will probably end up going home as soon as they hit the Top Ten, if that, and that will be that. Kris is a nice guy and all, but being on Idol is about playing the game, being able anticipate what's coming next and Kris doesn't seem like the kind of guy who can do that.
But then -- to Adam's amazement -- he finds that underneath all the laid-back and polite demeanor, Kris is probably the least predictable person he's ever met. Adam doesn't know when his original opinion about Kris changed, when he had this realization that he had him pegged completely wrong, but he also doesn't know when he actually stopped caring either. It's not completely life-changing -- in fact, Adam kind of looks forward to Kris's constant ability to surprise him.
I.
It's already the week of the Top Seven and Adam feels a little dizzy at the thought. He thinks about the friends and connections he's made since being on the show, as he watches everyone in the green room, milling around before they have to take the stage. Adam's skin buzzes with the usual rush of adrenaline and nerves but he tries to push it aside and focus on something else. There's the familiar racket going on, people rummaging around and getting something to eat, practicing their songs, and talking with family and friends. Adam settles down on a small loveseat, and pulls out a book from his backpack.
“What're you reading?” Kris asks, settling down next to Adam. The couch is small and Adam can feel the warmth of Kris's thigh against his.
Adam looks up from the book, grins and lifts it up for Kris to read the cover. Kris gives an approving nod, and says, “Zodiac, huh?”
“It's a pretty interesting subject,” Adam says, running his fingers along the smooth pages. Adam didn't really get into zodiac until he met Brad who continued to babble about houses, and different affects the planets brought to people's lives so much that he finally had to sit down with a few books and a day of creative googling of his own and educate himself. “When's your birthday?”
Kris rattles off his birthday and Adam says, “Ah, a Gemini,” before flipping through the pages.
“Well, actually I'm on the cusp, so depending on who you ask or what you read, sometimes I'm considered a Cancer too,” Kris adds. “Most of the time I'm told I have more Cancer traits than Gemini, but, who knows.”
Adam carefully lifts his head up and raises an eyebrow. “You're into zodiac?”
“Katy's really into it,” Kris says with a shrug. “She got our charts read one time to see if we were compatible,” he laughs. “It was pretty crazy.” He leans over and looks at the page that Adam's on. “What's your sign?”
“Aquarius,” Adam says slowly. “Libra rising and Aries moon.”
Kris takes a long look at Adam, his lips tilting up. “I can see that,” he say after a long moment.
“Oh really?” Adam says, looking back down at the book.
“Well, sure. Libra's are all about balance and harmony. You don't like a lot of chaos in your life, and you tend to try to hide any imperfections you think you have,” Kris explains softly, like Adam hasn't been reading about stars and signs for most of his life, like Adam's completely unaware of the fact that he used to paint his face up and wear lamé pants to represent a collective idea of his own personal zodiac.
“Do you know your rising?” Adam asks, his voice quiet. Kris is a pretty predictable guy, or so Adam thought. He figured that Kris wouldn't be interested in something like this, probably find it leaving too much to fate and a huge lack of realism. He seems like a pretty realistic guy.
“Virgo,” Kris says, amusement evident in his eyes. He leans in closer and looks over his shoulder like everyone around them is listening and he has to be particularly quiet for the big secret he's about to tell. “Leo moon, though.”
Adam smiles wide and says, “You know what this means, right?”
Kris grins back and says, “We're pretty much soulmates?”
“No, you better be worried, because Mercury is going in retrograde. I have a feeling big things are gonna happen.”
“Like what?” Kris asks, reaching for the book and carefully leafing through the pages.
“I don't know,” Adam admits. “But when you're dealing with the stars, all you can do is prepare.”
Later back at the mansion, when Adam thinks about how much disco sucks, he listens to Kris play on his guitar, some random notes and chords that have no range or purpose. It sounds relaxing and Adam closes his eyes and thinks that the stars really do have big things waiting for Kris, they really do.
II.
Adam's apartment feels strange and the air smells stiff and recycled. He barely spends any time in it anyway, especially with last minute studio time, and the press for the album. He's considered possibly moving, maybe even buying a condo or something, but there's so little time anymore, and when he does have five minutes to breathe, he usually uses it to sit on his couch channel surfing.
It's a novelty that he took advantage of not even a year before, something to just pass the time. But the concept of time now is just a continuous circle of move move move and he can't even settle down enough for missed recordings of Gossip Girl on his DVR.
Kris calls to tell him that he's at his front door, food in hand.
“Oh, great,” Adam says, “I was just about to roll a joint.”
“So glad that you have your priorities straight,” Kris says, amused tone in his voice.
“Making an album is hard and serious business,” Adam says solemnly, “Sometimes you just gotta kick back and enjoy the moment.”
“Right,” Kris agrees. “Now open your door, my hands are full.”
When Adam opens the door he places a palm over his chest and says, “Oh honey, you brought Thai. You really shouldn't have.”
Kris walks into the living room and deposits the bags onto the coffee table. “I forgot how hot you like it.”
“I seriously do not understand how you can just spew off double entendres with such a straight face,” Adam says with a fond shake of his head before going into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers.
Neil ends up calling Adam to tell him again about how much he loves New York, with it's great bars and subways that smell like dog piss. Adam laughs and listens to his brother's woes about the anticipating cold weather because, “Being from California doesn't prepare you for northern winters.”
Kris hasn't started eating yet. He has, however, reached over and started to pull out a bit of the weed in Adam's baggie, separating the steams and buds. His tongue is sticking out between his lips in concentration, eyebrows furrowed. It's the same look he gets when he's trying to learn a new song on the piano or guitar, but he can't get the melody just right.
Except that he's not learning a new song on the piano or guitar because he can't get the melody right. He's actually rolling a fucking joint in Adam's shitty apartment because Adam is too busy to look for a new place when he has time to breathe. Only right now it's kind of difficult to breathe because Kris has never mentioned rolling joints as one of his many talents.
“And then I fucked our mother,” Neil says, and Adam snaps back to reality and goes, “What?”
“You're not paying a damn bit of attention to what I'm saying,” Neil replies with ease. “The fucking our mother test works every time.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Adam says slowly, watching as Kris carefully packs the joint and licks over the paper just right. He suddenly feels like he's stepped into Candid Camera and at any minute someone's going to come out and yell, “Surprise!”
“Listen man, I'm gonna have to call you back,” Adam says and hangs up without saying goodbye because suddenly he feels like he's in that Matrix movie only there's no option about which rabbit hole he wants to go down, he's just sitting here watching Kris roll a joint better than he can. Which is mildly insulting because Adam's rolled a lot of joints and Kris...apparently has mastered the task during some dark part of his life that Adam is completely unaware of.
Adam clears his throat and says, “Hasn't your mother ever told you not to touch other people's things without their permission?”
Kris is observing his handy work, tilting it from side to side before reaching over to offer it to Adam. “Sorry, you were on the phone and -” Kris stops and says, “You wanna go first?”
Adam lifts both of his eyebrows and waves his hand in front of him. “No, please, by all means, you seem to have this completely under control.”
Kris smiles and lights the end of the joint, taking a couple of tokes before passing it over. Adam continues to stare at Kris for a minute before Kris looks at him and says, “What?”
“Where the fuck did you learn to roll a joint like that?”
Kris gives a quizzical look and says, “I did go to college, you know.”
“Oh, you went to college,” Adam repeats like that's suppose actually qualify as a proper answer. “Wasn't your college like, some private Christian school?”
Kris rolls his eyes, smirk on his face. “Nowhere in the bible does it say, 'Thou shalt not smoke of the weed.' I love my town, but there's not much to do out there.”
Adam could ask further about this college experience Kris speaks of because Adam didn't even get past the first month of college before saying fuck it and leaving. This is a revelation. It's the kind of revelation that's almost up there with someone finding the Virgin Mary on a potato chip. It's the kind that Adam needs to take a couple of hard hits for.
“Well, since you went to college and all,” Adam says after they have passed the joint back and forth a few times and his muscles feel happy and loose.
“I didn't do it often, only a few times and -” Kris smiles lazily, and he fixates his eyes to the television, flicking through the channels slowly. “I just pick up on things quickly is all.”
“Well,” Adam says in a tight voice as he takes another hit. He nudges Kris with his shoulder, holding up the small bit that is left. “In that case, you can roll 'em from now on. I suck at it.”
“Anything to help a brother out,” Kris agrees easily, and takes the joint from Adam's fingers, lifting his free hand in mock salute.
III.
Time flies at the mansion with the early wake up calls and studio time and rehearsals. But every week someone is going home, and every week the house gets bigger and more empty, voices echoing louder off of the walls.
The first couple of weeks Adam was at the mansion he went out as often as he could, even pushing his limits with the curfew rule. It was fun and exciting and he felt so in the moment, so bright and real that it was difficult to stay still. The thrill went away as quickly as it came and now he hardly ever leaves.
“Elimination sucks,” Kris says, several hours after Lil and Anoop have left, sprawled on the couch next to Adam and taking large gulps of the illegal red wine courtesy of one Brad Bell as a congratulations to Adam for 'keeping the sparkle real'.
They're watching the new Batman movie (Matt's choice) on the big flat screen hanging on the wall and Adam's not a huge fan of merlot, but he'll take what he can get. Anything to help relieve the tension he was feeling earlier that evening.
“Like, I know it's a part of the game, but it doesn't make it suck any less,” Kris continues, waving the wine glass around, a small trickle of crimson dripping down the side. He's definitely tipsy.
“It does suck,” Adam agrees, lifting his glass up for emphasis. A loud crash echoes in surround sound and Adam focuses his attention back to what appears to be the Batmobile turning into a motorcycle. “Holy shit. That's badass.”
Matt whistles from his spot on the sofa next to them and says, “Dude, I don't care what you cats say, but Christian Bale is hot.”
“Totally man,” Kris agrees with an emphatic nod of his head. “I once told Katy I had a heterosexual crush on him.”
Adam turns to Kris, his face illuminated only by the light of the screen, flashes of blue and white across his face. He waits for him to retract his announcement, pull a 'Just kidding!' but Kris remains focused on the movie, which, woah. Kris is really serious.
“Did you just say you have a heterosexual crush on Christian Bale?”
Kris looks at Adam, lifts his eyebrows and blinks slowly. “Hmm?”
“The dude,” Adam says, nodding to the TV. “You just said you had a 'heterosexual crush' on Batman.”
“Oh, yeah, that,” Kris says, his voice slurring a little. He's probably reached maximum tipsy right about now. Adam thinks it's time to cut him off. “Yeah. I do.”
“First - that's not possible,” Adam says and shakes his head in disbelief. “You having a crush on a guy doesn't make it heterosexual. It's quite the opposite.”
“Whatever, man, it's entirely possible,” Matt says, turning on his side on the couch. “If it feels heterosexual, it must be it.”
Adam could argue that this isn't the situation where the theme is all Field of Dreams about building something huge and everyone will come understandingly. He could argue further that just because you're straight 98 percent of the time doesn't mean that the two percent that isn't can be camouflaged. Adam knows about those kind of people. He stays far far away from them.
Finally Adam settles on, “I don't even know what to say to all of this.”
“You don't think Christian Bale is hot?” Kris asks, eyes wide and a little glazed.
Adam reaches for the glass and carefully sets it on the table. “You're done for the night. And I prefer Johnathan Rhys Meyers, a la Velvet Goldmine.”
“Velvet what?” Kris asks, leaning against the back of the couch and closing his eyes. He's probably going to pass out soon.
“Dude, this is my favorite part, be quiet,” Matt says, eyes focused on the movie.
“Next time we have movie night, I choose,” Adam whispers to Kris with a grin, “You might change your mind about who you think is hot.”
Kris opens one eye and grins. “I'll take your word for it.”
IV.
It starts off as a joke from Matt. Then Anoop says that they should do it and then Megan pipes up, “Do what?” and before Adam realizes it, everyone's piled into a van in the middle of a humid Florida night, searching around for --
“A sex shop,” Kris repeats for about the fifth time since they got into the car.
“Yes, honey, a sex shop,” Lil says, patting Kris' knee helpfully.
“Alli wants us to bring her back a souvenir,” Anoop says from the front seat, wiggling the phone in his hand for emphasis.
“This isn't your first time, is it?” Adam asks, half out of curiosity, half out of concern. Kris turns and scrunches his face.
“I'm not Amish, geez,” he says, looking out the window next to Adam. Kris leans against him a little, and sighs. He blinks slowly and shakes his head, grin slipping on his face. “First time in Florida and this is what I do. Katy's never gonna live this down, ya know.”
Adam stretches his arm over the back of the seat and reaches up to give Kris a pat. “Florida welcomes you,” he stage whispers.
Kris tilts his head back and laughs.
*
The store is spacious with hardwood floors and a second story that, according to a pink neon sign with an equally helpful arrow, is strictly dedicated to vibrators. Megan and Lil walk up together, arms linked, their heads tilted in what seems to be deep discussion. Matt and Anoop make their way to DVDs, strictly sticking to the girl/girl section.
Adam walks around slowly, abruptly stopping to let a couple pass towards the staircase as he makes his way over to a small corner of the store. Kris is standing in front of the perfectly aligned whips and paddles, the leather shiny against the bright lights. He shifts his gaze when Adam gets closer, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans.
Anoop bellows loudly in the background, “Stefani is one hot blonde slut. She is looking for work and walks into a bar.”
Matt let's out a high-shrilled giggle and adds in an equally squeaky voice, “The guy who owns the place gives her a job in the coat check room where a new, hot female customer goes to hang her coats and,” he gasps dramatically, “Whatta ya know? They get it on!”
Adam looks over his shoulder at the other customers scowling at Matt and Anoop's play time, and rolls his eyes. “I'm so going to laugh if they get kicked out,” Adam says.
“They're pretty impressive,” Kris says causally, eyes searching up and down the wall. His face is impassive which is something Adam's not used to; Kris isn't usually one to hide his emotions.
“Are you talking about the dramatic readings? Because personally, I think they were pretty terrible,” Adam says.
Kris laughs. “I was actually talking about the paddles.”
“I've seen bigger,” Adam says with a shrug.
Kris smiles, but doesn't take his eyes off the wall. “I'm sure you have.”
Adam reaches up and brushes the back of his knuckles over a long red and leather paddle, a small cut-out heart at the end. It's been a while since Adam's held one, since he's even had a reason to use one. Being on Idol and then the tour has left it pretty difficult to have the somewhat active sex life he used to maintain. If his past self were to converse with his present self, he'd actually be wondering how he's a functioning human being.
He reaches up and carefully takes it off the hook, somewhat surprised at how heavy the paddle feels in his hand, but the weight is familiar, and he tightens his grip around the base just to feel the edges cut into his palm.
Kris is silent and Adam can feel him watching through his peripheral as he puts it back. Kris moves closer to the wall, reaches up to the paddle that Adam was looking at, and tilts his head.
“Trying to decide if you want to get it?” Adam teases.
Kris turns his head, but his eyes remain focused on the paddle. His lip is curved into a small smile. “Nah,” he says, and points another paddle covered in blue with metal studs all around it and says, “Those ones are better anyway.”
Adam blinks and shakes his head, mouth opening and closing a few times before a startled laugh chokes out. Adam prides himself in being able to read people, and Kris is many things, sure, but he's certainly not the guy to give advice about bondage gear. He's the kind of guy you go to when you want to talk about whatever sport playoff is going on at the time. Adam feels strange, a little light-headed and suddenly the store is very very warm.
“I'm gonna head back to the van,” Kris says in an even voice, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. Adam sees the smirk growing on his face.
Adam tries to respond but nothing comes out. He clears his throat and manages an, “Okay,” watching Kris walk out through the front door.
*
He doesn't say anything until a couple of days later, when they're the last two on the bus, grabbing a few things before heading into the venue. Kris is kneeling on the floor, suffering from the consequences of waiting too long to choose a bunk on a full bus. He gets up from the floor, kicking a navy blue duffle bag back into his bunk.
Adam waits until he's at the end of the hall before putting up an arm, blocking Kris from the exit.
“So what the hell was that you did the other night?”
Kris gives Adam an incredulous look. “What?”
“What do you mean, 'what'?” Adam asks furrowing his eyebrows. “At the sex shop.”
“Oh,” Kris says, relaxing as the mischievous smile spreads back on his face. He looks at Adam for a second and says, “Are you freaking out?”
Adam mulls on the question and shrugs. “A little. Seriously, man, what - I mean, you -”
“Hey, they don't call us the dirty south for no reason,” Kris says, lifting his hands up with a shrug.
Adam stares at Kris for a second before letting out a loud laugh, clapping a hand on Kris' shoulder. “Good answer,” Adam says. “I'll remember that the next time I'm in an interview deflecting the kink questions.”
V.
On the last day of the tour, when the air feels a little heavy, but there's a buzz too, an excitement that Adam cannot describe aching inside of his muscles and bones. He feels ready to get back on the stage, anxious to hear the crowd again, and when Allison says, “Let's go check out Kris's set one last time,” Adam can't say no.
The lights are dim on stage, Kris settled in front of a piano, and Adam grins, remembering one late night back at the mansion when Kris pulled the spare keyboard into their bedroom, looked up at Adam with earnest eyes and said, “You mind if I play in here for a bit?”
“What are you, some kind of musical genius?” Adam had asked, and lifted a finger before Kris could give an explanation. Adam pulled out an earbud, the melancholy cadence of Cat Power fading. He was trying to wind down after rehearsing the same song over and over again earlier that afternoon, his head still feeling the seventies discotheque vibe about playing nothing but funky music. “You aren't going to play Journey or something are you?”
Kris laughed and palmed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Nah, I'm not that good on piano. I mean, I've been playing for a long time and I'm kind of self-taught, but--” He stopped and set the keyboard on the stand properly, fishing for the wires to plug it into the wall. “You've got something against Journey?”
“Hmm?” Adam said, adjusting the twisted cord around his neck and looking back at Kris's expectant look. “Oh, it's just that I've been singing Play that Funky Music all day, so I'm trying to get back in touch with my current generation.” He lifted the iPod for emphasis.
Kris laughed and said, “We've only been roommates for a couple of weeks, man, and you're bed is nearly five feet away from mine. You know where I sleep.”
Adam grinned and said, “Very true.”
Kris had some idea of what he was going to sing that week on the show, had spoke to Adam about it before they settled for bed in the dark of the night. Adam was sitting in the audience watching Kris bathed in the softness of the spotlight, a four string quartet next to him in the shadows.
It was then something hit Adam and he thought, Holy shit, this kid is gonna be someone. He's gonna go somewhere. He's gonna to make a difference. Adam also realized then that Kris didn't need the show to get somewhere, and he never did. If he was where Adam was, right in the middle of a city where plenty of people go to get discovered, he would've been snatched up a long time ago without a second thought. And the judges weren't always right about their perception of the people in this competition. Hell, Adam knew that, but America would be stupid to let Kris go, because at that moment Adam felt safely wrapped in a blanket of smooth melodies, Kris's eyes closed, and hands across those piano keys like Kris was singing only for him.
Deep down he kind of wished he was.
Adam feels like that again now, like Kris is only singing for him, and thinks about how a few months ago he thought he had Kris figured out. He thought that Kris was an easy card to read, but he was wrong, so wrong, because if there's one thing he's learned about Kris Allen it's that he has a few tricks up his sleeve, surprises included. Adam's never known anyone to hold back on who they are, leave a little mystery to the imagination about themselves, and Adam admires that.
During the last after-show party Allison gives one more hug to Kris and says, “You sounded amazing tonight, dude.” Kris looks over at Adam, just briefly, a smile stretching on his face like he knows what Adam's thinking and Adam smiles back. He's never expected someone like Kris to come into his life, and more than anything he loves that he got to share this whole experience with him, that he got to do another finale with him one last time. If Adam had the chance to do it all over again, he'd pick Kris to do it with him every time. Every time.
[end]
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Adam/Kris || R-ish || ~4,400 words
Adam doesn't know when his original opinion about Kris changed, when he had this realization that he had him pegged completely wrong, but he also doesn't know when he actually stopped caring either.
Thanks to colorofsmoke for the beta, and to likealocket for the last minute help. This is for samedifference_ who said, "Hey, if I'm gonna read AI fic, I'd read a fic where Kris surprises Adam." And this happened. It's not even her fandom, but she loves me so much she looked it over a few times too. ♥ Witty revision of a ten commandment goes to phaballa. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
One of the things Adam prides himself on is his ability to read people. Brad used to complain it was the gift from hell because Adam usually was the first to figure out the twists and turns to every television show and any suspense films that they would watch, but Adam never looked at it as an inadequacy. He usually has a good idea of what people want out of him, always keeping a watchful eye on his surroundings.
So when he meets Kris during Hollywood Week, he doesn't think anything of it. He figures that Kris will probably end up going home as soon as they hit the Top Ten, if that, and that will be that. Kris is a nice guy and all, but being on Idol is about playing the game, being able anticipate what's coming next and Kris doesn't seem like the kind of guy who can do that.
But then -- to Adam's amazement -- he finds that underneath all the laid-back and polite demeanor, Kris is probably the least predictable person he's ever met. Adam doesn't know when his original opinion about Kris changed, when he had this realization that he had him pegged completely wrong, but he also doesn't know when he actually stopped caring either. It's not completely life-changing -- in fact, Adam kind of looks forward to Kris's constant ability to surprise him.
I.
It's already the week of the Top Seven and Adam feels a little dizzy at the thought. He thinks about the friends and connections he's made since being on the show, as he watches everyone in the green room, milling around before they have to take the stage. Adam's skin buzzes with the usual rush of adrenaline and nerves but he tries to push it aside and focus on something else. There's the familiar racket going on, people rummaging around and getting something to eat, practicing their songs, and talking with family and friends. Adam settles down on a small loveseat, and pulls out a book from his backpack.
“What're you reading?” Kris asks, settling down next to Adam. The couch is small and Adam can feel the warmth of Kris's thigh against his.
Adam looks up from the book, grins and lifts it up for Kris to read the cover. Kris gives an approving nod, and says, “Zodiac, huh?”
“It's a pretty interesting subject,” Adam says, running his fingers along the smooth pages. Adam didn't really get into zodiac until he met Brad who continued to babble about houses, and different affects the planets brought to people's lives so much that he finally had to sit down with a few books and a day of creative googling of his own and educate himself. “When's your birthday?”
Kris rattles off his birthday and Adam says, “Ah, a Gemini,” before flipping through the pages.
“Well, actually I'm on the cusp, so depending on who you ask or what you read, sometimes I'm considered a Cancer too,” Kris adds. “Most of the time I'm told I have more Cancer traits than Gemini, but, who knows.”
Adam carefully lifts his head up and raises an eyebrow. “You're into zodiac?”
“Katy's really into it,” Kris says with a shrug. “She got our charts read one time to see if we were compatible,” he laughs. “It was pretty crazy.” He leans over and looks at the page that Adam's on. “What's your sign?”
“Aquarius,” Adam says slowly. “Libra rising and Aries moon.”
Kris takes a long look at Adam, his lips tilting up. “I can see that,” he say after a long moment.
“Oh really?” Adam says, looking back down at the book.
“Well, sure. Libra's are all about balance and harmony. You don't like a lot of chaos in your life, and you tend to try to hide any imperfections you think you have,” Kris explains softly, like Adam hasn't been reading about stars and signs for most of his life, like Adam's completely unaware of the fact that he used to paint his face up and wear lamé pants to represent a collective idea of his own personal zodiac.
“Do you know your rising?” Adam asks, his voice quiet. Kris is a pretty predictable guy, or so Adam thought. He figured that Kris wouldn't be interested in something like this, probably find it leaving too much to fate and a huge lack of realism. He seems like a pretty realistic guy.
“Virgo,” Kris says, amusement evident in his eyes. He leans in closer and looks over his shoulder like everyone around them is listening and he has to be particularly quiet for the big secret he's about to tell. “Leo moon, though.”
Adam smiles wide and says, “You know what this means, right?”
Kris grins back and says, “We're pretty much soulmates?”
“No, you better be worried, because Mercury is going in retrograde. I have a feeling big things are gonna happen.”
“Like what?” Kris asks, reaching for the book and carefully leafing through the pages.
“I don't know,” Adam admits. “But when you're dealing with the stars, all you can do is prepare.”
Later back at the mansion, when Adam thinks about how much disco sucks, he listens to Kris play on his guitar, some random notes and chords that have no range or purpose. It sounds relaxing and Adam closes his eyes and thinks that the stars really do have big things waiting for Kris, they really do.
II.
Adam's apartment feels strange and the air smells stiff and recycled. He barely spends any time in it anyway, especially with last minute studio time, and the press for the album. He's considered possibly moving, maybe even buying a condo or something, but there's so little time anymore, and when he does have five minutes to breathe, he usually uses it to sit on his couch channel surfing.
It's a novelty that he took advantage of not even a year before, something to just pass the time. But the concept of time now is just a continuous circle of move move move and he can't even settle down enough for missed recordings of Gossip Girl on his DVR.
Kris calls to tell him that he's at his front door, food in hand.
“Oh, great,” Adam says, “I was just about to roll a joint.”
“So glad that you have your priorities straight,” Kris says, amused tone in his voice.
“Making an album is hard and serious business,” Adam says solemnly, “Sometimes you just gotta kick back and enjoy the moment.”
“Right,” Kris agrees. “Now open your door, my hands are full.”
When Adam opens the door he places a palm over his chest and says, “Oh honey, you brought Thai. You really shouldn't have.”
Kris walks into the living room and deposits the bags onto the coffee table. “I forgot how hot you like it.”
“I seriously do not understand how you can just spew off double entendres with such a straight face,” Adam says with a fond shake of his head before going into the kitchen to grab a couple of beers.
Neil ends up calling Adam to tell him again about how much he loves New York, with it's great bars and subways that smell like dog piss. Adam laughs and listens to his brother's woes about the anticipating cold weather because, “Being from California doesn't prepare you for northern winters.”
Kris hasn't started eating yet. He has, however, reached over and started to pull out a bit of the weed in Adam's baggie, separating the steams and buds. His tongue is sticking out between his lips in concentration, eyebrows furrowed. It's the same look he gets when he's trying to learn a new song on the piano or guitar, but he can't get the melody just right.
Except that he's not learning a new song on the piano or guitar because he can't get the melody right. He's actually rolling a fucking joint in Adam's shitty apartment because Adam is too busy to look for a new place when he has time to breathe. Only right now it's kind of difficult to breathe because Kris has never mentioned rolling joints as one of his many talents.
“And then I fucked our mother,” Neil says, and Adam snaps back to reality and goes, “What?”
“You're not paying a damn bit of attention to what I'm saying,” Neil replies with ease. “The fucking our mother test works every time.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Adam says slowly, watching as Kris carefully packs the joint and licks over the paper just right. He suddenly feels like he's stepped into Candid Camera and at any minute someone's going to come out and yell, “Surprise!”
“Listen man, I'm gonna have to call you back,” Adam says and hangs up without saying goodbye because suddenly he feels like he's in that Matrix movie only there's no option about which rabbit hole he wants to go down, he's just sitting here watching Kris roll a joint better than he can. Which is mildly insulting because Adam's rolled a lot of joints and Kris...apparently has mastered the task during some dark part of his life that Adam is completely unaware of.
Adam clears his throat and says, “Hasn't your mother ever told you not to touch other people's things without their permission?”
Kris is observing his handy work, tilting it from side to side before reaching over to offer it to Adam. “Sorry, you were on the phone and -” Kris stops and says, “You wanna go first?”
Adam lifts both of his eyebrows and waves his hand in front of him. “No, please, by all means, you seem to have this completely under control.”
Kris smiles and lights the end of the joint, taking a couple of tokes before passing it over. Adam continues to stare at Kris for a minute before Kris looks at him and says, “What?”
“Where the fuck did you learn to roll a joint like that?”
Kris gives a quizzical look and says, “I did go to college, you know.”
“Oh, you went to college,” Adam repeats like that's suppose actually qualify as a proper answer. “Wasn't your college like, some private Christian school?”
Kris rolls his eyes, smirk on his face. “Nowhere in the bible does it say, 'Thou shalt not smoke of the weed.' I love my town, but there's not much to do out there.”
Adam could ask further about this college experience Kris speaks of because Adam didn't even get past the first month of college before saying fuck it and leaving. This is a revelation. It's the kind of revelation that's almost up there with someone finding the Virgin Mary on a potato chip. It's the kind that Adam needs to take a couple of hard hits for.
“Well, since you went to college and all,” Adam says after they have passed the joint back and forth a few times and his muscles feel happy and loose.
“I didn't do it often, only a few times and -” Kris smiles lazily, and he fixates his eyes to the television, flicking through the channels slowly. “I just pick up on things quickly is all.”
“Well,” Adam says in a tight voice as he takes another hit. He nudges Kris with his shoulder, holding up the small bit that is left. “In that case, you can roll 'em from now on. I suck at it.”
“Anything to help a brother out,” Kris agrees easily, and takes the joint from Adam's fingers, lifting his free hand in mock salute.
III.
Time flies at the mansion with the early wake up calls and studio time and rehearsals. But every week someone is going home, and every week the house gets bigger and more empty, voices echoing louder off of the walls.
The first couple of weeks Adam was at the mansion he went out as often as he could, even pushing his limits with the curfew rule. It was fun and exciting and he felt so in the moment, so bright and real that it was difficult to stay still. The thrill went away as quickly as it came and now he hardly ever leaves.
“Elimination sucks,” Kris says, several hours after Lil and Anoop have left, sprawled on the couch next to Adam and taking large gulps of the illegal red wine courtesy of one Brad Bell as a congratulations to Adam for 'keeping the sparkle real'.
They're watching the new Batman movie (Matt's choice) on the big flat screen hanging on the wall and Adam's not a huge fan of merlot, but he'll take what he can get. Anything to help relieve the tension he was feeling earlier that evening.
“Like, I know it's a part of the game, but it doesn't make it suck any less,” Kris continues, waving the wine glass around, a small trickle of crimson dripping down the side. He's definitely tipsy.
“It does suck,” Adam agrees, lifting his glass up for emphasis. A loud crash echoes in surround sound and Adam focuses his attention back to what appears to be the Batmobile turning into a motorcycle. “Holy shit. That's badass.”
Matt whistles from his spot on the sofa next to them and says, “Dude, I don't care what you cats say, but Christian Bale is hot.”
“Totally man,” Kris agrees with an emphatic nod of his head. “I once told Katy I had a heterosexual crush on him.”
Adam turns to Kris, his face illuminated only by the light of the screen, flashes of blue and white across his face. He waits for him to retract his announcement, pull a 'Just kidding!' but Kris remains focused on the movie, which, woah. Kris is really serious.
“Did you just say you have a heterosexual crush on Christian Bale?”
Kris looks at Adam, lifts his eyebrows and blinks slowly. “Hmm?”
“The dude,” Adam says, nodding to the TV. “You just said you had a 'heterosexual crush' on Batman.”
“Oh, yeah, that,” Kris says, his voice slurring a little. He's probably reached maximum tipsy right about now. Adam thinks it's time to cut him off. “Yeah. I do.”
“First - that's not possible,” Adam says and shakes his head in disbelief. “You having a crush on a guy doesn't make it heterosexual. It's quite the opposite.”
“Whatever, man, it's entirely possible,” Matt says, turning on his side on the couch. “If it feels heterosexual, it must be it.”
Adam could argue that this isn't the situation where the theme is all Field of Dreams about building something huge and everyone will come understandingly. He could argue further that just because you're straight 98 percent of the time doesn't mean that the two percent that isn't can be camouflaged. Adam knows about those kind of people. He stays far far away from them.
Finally Adam settles on, “I don't even know what to say to all of this.”
“You don't think Christian Bale is hot?” Kris asks, eyes wide and a little glazed.
Adam reaches for the glass and carefully sets it on the table. “You're done for the night. And I prefer Johnathan Rhys Meyers, a la Velvet Goldmine.”
“Velvet what?” Kris asks, leaning against the back of the couch and closing his eyes. He's probably going to pass out soon.
“Dude, this is my favorite part, be quiet,” Matt says, eyes focused on the movie.
“Next time we have movie night, I choose,” Adam whispers to Kris with a grin, “You might change your mind about who you think is hot.”
Kris opens one eye and grins. “I'll take your word for it.”
IV.
It starts off as a joke from Matt. Then Anoop says that they should do it and then Megan pipes up, “Do what?” and before Adam realizes it, everyone's piled into a van in the middle of a humid Florida night, searching around for --
“A sex shop,” Kris repeats for about the fifth time since they got into the car.
“Yes, honey, a sex shop,” Lil says, patting Kris' knee helpfully.
“Alli wants us to bring her back a souvenir,” Anoop says from the front seat, wiggling the phone in his hand for emphasis.
“This isn't your first time, is it?” Adam asks, half out of curiosity, half out of concern. Kris turns and scrunches his face.
“I'm not Amish, geez,” he says, looking out the window next to Adam. Kris leans against him a little, and sighs. He blinks slowly and shakes his head, grin slipping on his face. “First time in Florida and this is what I do. Katy's never gonna live this down, ya know.”
Adam stretches his arm over the back of the seat and reaches up to give Kris a pat. “Florida welcomes you,” he stage whispers.
Kris tilts his head back and laughs.
*
The store is spacious with hardwood floors and a second story that, according to a pink neon sign with an equally helpful arrow, is strictly dedicated to vibrators. Megan and Lil walk up together, arms linked, their heads tilted in what seems to be deep discussion. Matt and Anoop make their way to DVDs, strictly sticking to the girl/girl section.
Adam walks around slowly, abruptly stopping to let a couple pass towards the staircase as he makes his way over to a small corner of the store. Kris is standing in front of the perfectly aligned whips and paddles, the leather shiny against the bright lights. He shifts his gaze when Adam gets closer, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans.
Anoop bellows loudly in the background, “Stefani is one hot blonde slut. She is looking for work and walks into a bar.”
Matt let's out a high-shrilled giggle and adds in an equally squeaky voice, “The guy who owns the place gives her a job in the coat check room where a new, hot female customer goes to hang her coats and,” he gasps dramatically, “Whatta ya know? They get it on!”
Adam looks over his shoulder at the other customers scowling at Matt and Anoop's play time, and rolls his eyes. “I'm so going to laugh if they get kicked out,” Adam says.
“They're pretty impressive,” Kris says causally, eyes searching up and down the wall. His face is impassive which is something Adam's not used to; Kris isn't usually one to hide his emotions.
“Are you talking about the dramatic readings? Because personally, I think they were pretty terrible,” Adam says.
Kris laughs. “I was actually talking about the paddles.”
“I've seen bigger,” Adam says with a shrug.
Kris smiles, but doesn't take his eyes off the wall. “I'm sure you have.”
Adam reaches up and brushes the back of his knuckles over a long red and leather paddle, a small cut-out heart at the end. It's been a while since Adam's held one, since he's even had a reason to use one. Being on Idol and then the tour has left it pretty difficult to have the somewhat active sex life he used to maintain. If his past self were to converse with his present self, he'd actually be wondering how he's a functioning human being.
He reaches up and carefully takes it off the hook, somewhat surprised at how heavy the paddle feels in his hand, but the weight is familiar, and he tightens his grip around the base just to feel the edges cut into his palm.
Kris is silent and Adam can feel him watching through his peripheral as he puts it back. Kris moves closer to the wall, reaches up to the paddle that Adam was looking at, and tilts his head.
“Trying to decide if you want to get it?” Adam teases.
Kris turns his head, but his eyes remain focused on the paddle. His lip is curved into a small smile. “Nah,” he says, and points another paddle covered in blue with metal studs all around it and says, “Those ones are better anyway.”
Adam blinks and shakes his head, mouth opening and closing a few times before a startled laugh chokes out. Adam prides himself in being able to read people, and Kris is many things, sure, but he's certainly not the guy to give advice about bondage gear. He's the kind of guy you go to when you want to talk about whatever sport playoff is going on at the time. Adam feels strange, a little light-headed and suddenly the store is very very warm.
“I'm gonna head back to the van,” Kris says in an even voice, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. Adam sees the smirk growing on his face.
Adam tries to respond but nothing comes out. He clears his throat and manages an, “Okay,” watching Kris walk out through the front door.
*
He doesn't say anything until a couple of days later, when they're the last two on the bus, grabbing a few things before heading into the venue. Kris is kneeling on the floor, suffering from the consequences of waiting too long to choose a bunk on a full bus. He gets up from the floor, kicking a navy blue duffle bag back into his bunk.
Adam waits until he's at the end of the hall before putting up an arm, blocking Kris from the exit.
“So what the hell was that you did the other night?”
Kris gives Adam an incredulous look. “What?”
“What do you mean, 'what'?” Adam asks furrowing his eyebrows. “At the sex shop.”
“Oh,” Kris says, relaxing as the mischievous smile spreads back on his face. He looks at Adam for a second and says, “Are you freaking out?”
Adam mulls on the question and shrugs. “A little. Seriously, man, what - I mean, you -”
“Hey, they don't call us the dirty south for no reason,” Kris says, lifting his hands up with a shrug.
Adam stares at Kris for a second before letting out a loud laugh, clapping a hand on Kris' shoulder. “Good answer,” Adam says. “I'll remember that the next time I'm in an interview deflecting the kink questions.”
V.
On the last day of the tour, when the air feels a little heavy, but there's a buzz too, an excitement that Adam cannot describe aching inside of his muscles and bones. He feels ready to get back on the stage, anxious to hear the crowd again, and when Allison says, “Let's go check out Kris's set one last time,” Adam can't say no.
The lights are dim on stage, Kris settled in front of a piano, and Adam grins, remembering one late night back at the mansion when Kris pulled the spare keyboard into their bedroom, looked up at Adam with earnest eyes and said, “You mind if I play in here for a bit?”
“What are you, some kind of musical genius?” Adam had asked, and lifted a finger before Kris could give an explanation. Adam pulled out an earbud, the melancholy cadence of Cat Power fading. He was trying to wind down after rehearsing the same song over and over again earlier that afternoon, his head still feeling the seventies discotheque vibe about playing nothing but funky music. “You aren't going to play Journey or something are you?”
Kris laughed and palmed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Nah, I'm not that good on piano. I mean, I've been playing for a long time and I'm kind of self-taught, but--” He stopped and set the keyboard on the stand properly, fishing for the wires to plug it into the wall. “You've got something against Journey?”
“Hmm?” Adam said, adjusting the twisted cord around his neck and looking back at Kris's expectant look. “Oh, it's just that I've been singing Play that Funky Music all day, so I'm trying to get back in touch with my current generation.” He lifted the iPod for emphasis.
Kris laughed and said, “We've only been roommates for a couple of weeks, man, and you're bed is nearly five feet away from mine. You know where I sleep.”
Adam grinned and said, “Very true.”
Kris had some idea of what he was going to sing that week on the show, had spoke to Adam about it before they settled for bed in the dark of the night. Adam was sitting in the audience watching Kris bathed in the softness of the spotlight, a four string quartet next to him in the shadows.
It was then something hit Adam and he thought, Holy shit, this kid is gonna be someone. He's gonna go somewhere. He's gonna to make a difference. Adam also realized then that Kris didn't need the show to get somewhere, and he never did. If he was where Adam was, right in the middle of a city where plenty of people go to get discovered, he would've been snatched up a long time ago without a second thought. And the judges weren't always right about their perception of the people in this competition. Hell, Adam knew that, but America would be stupid to let Kris go, because at that moment Adam felt safely wrapped in a blanket of smooth melodies, Kris's eyes closed, and hands across those piano keys like Kris was singing only for him.
Deep down he kind of wished he was.
Adam feels like that again now, like Kris is only singing for him, and thinks about how a few months ago he thought he had Kris figured out. He thought that Kris was an easy card to read, but he was wrong, so wrong, because if there's one thing he's learned about Kris Allen it's that he has a few tricks up his sleeve, surprises included. Adam's never known anyone to hold back on who they are, leave a little mystery to the imagination about themselves, and Adam admires that.
During the last after-show party Allison gives one more hug to Kris and says, “You sounded amazing tonight, dude.” Kris looks over at Adam, just briefly, a smile stretching on his face like he knows what Adam's thinking and Adam smiles back. He's never expected someone like Kris to come into his life, and more than anything he loves that he got to share this whole experience with him, that he got to do another finale with him one last time. If Adam had the chance to do it all over again, he'd pick Kris to do it with him every time. Every time.
[end]
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