Re: Mariah & Jojo. Yeah, that's pretty much what I mean. I don't think they believed him. But, considering I was honest with them about trying to stop being a master manipulator, it would have been easy to believe him instead, or to use it as an excuse to dump me. I banked my strategy on the idea my friends would believe in me.
"Do you think that's a male/female dynamic or just how your personalities and relationship differed from theirs?"
The guys in the lounge knew Chris as younger brother of an alum, and didn't know Joe or Nora hardly at all. Joe acted very possessive of Nora. She let him trail along after her, likely because in Nora's own words she's "tenderhearted." Joe came from an all boys school and was really socially awkward and just not getting her lack of interest. Nora took up with Chris, and to the guys in the club who had seen Joe & Nora together it looked like he'd broken up a relationship. They may have had other reasons to dislike Chris or think he was predatory, I didn't know the details of all of their relationships. I would bet Chris offended some of them in the past with his controlling behavior. They were outraged that he'd taken someone they'd marked off as Joe's girl. I think it's a guy thing to be that territorial, and without thinking about it, they did view Nora as property by not bothering to calculate in what she might want. Certainly Joe was hurt and shortly stopped showing up to the club, which was probably for the best. I believe he eventually got a girlfriend after he adjusted to this whole going to school with girls thing.
Mariah and I were close. We were friends and we loved each other as friends. I wouldn't purposely hurt her, and I think she believed that. I think she may have also been realizing that Brian just wasn't interested, and had adjusted to that. I felt I owed it to Mariah, out of respect, to tell her as soon as possible, and I think she respected that I told her to her face instead of sneaking around. Chris had no reason to feel a need to tell the guys at the club his personal business, it didn't relate to them because they weren't at all close, and had no interest in Nora. They were really out of line in their behavior. I don't know if Mariah talked it over with Jojo later, but I really believe she was happy for me.
I suppose the contrast is interesting. I mainly mentioned it because Nora is a major figure in my life starting in Junior year, and her relationship with Chris is certainly part of the story of the two of us, and also a major incident with Brian. Also, it was so wierd to see something so clearly while everyone around me appeared blind.
"When we actually disagreed it was usually over small things, but when it came to a head and he brought out the "I am right" voice as described I usually got very angry because that was the point where he just stopped listening."
Maybe it never bothered me as much because he didn't use it on me that way. I really can't remember him stopping listening to me. I mainly remember him using it when he'd made a decision, and while it might not have been the exact decision I would have made, it was acceptable to me, so I didn't bother fighting him on it. I would only have been fighting to show that I didn't have to do what he said, which seemed a poor overall plan for working as a coherent unit. Like I said, I was happy to have someone else make some of the decisions for me. I'd occasionally joke to myself that "I could stop anytime I wanted."
I clearly must ask you about probability sometime.
"Do you think that's a male/female dynamic or just how your personalities and relationship differed from theirs?"
The guys in the lounge knew Chris as younger brother of an alum, and didn't know Joe or Nora hardly at all. Joe acted very possessive of Nora. She let him trail along after her, likely because in Nora's own words she's "tenderhearted." Joe came from an all boys school and was really socially awkward and just not getting her lack of interest. Nora took up with Chris, and to the guys in the club who had seen Joe & Nora together it looked like he'd broken up a relationship. They may have had other reasons to dislike Chris or think he was predatory, I didn't know the details of all of their relationships. I would bet Chris offended some of them in the past with his controlling behavior. They were outraged that he'd taken someone they'd marked off as Joe's girl. I think it's a guy thing to be that territorial, and without thinking about it, they did view Nora as property by not bothering to calculate in what she might want. Certainly Joe was hurt and shortly stopped showing up to the club, which was probably for the best. I believe he eventually got a girlfriend after he adjusted to this whole going to school with girls thing.
Mariah and I were close. We were friends and we loved each other as friends. I wouldn't purposely hurt her, and I think she believed that. I think she may have also been realizing that Brian just wasn't interested, and had adjusted to that. I felt I owed it to Mariah, out of respect, to tell her as soon as possible, and I think she respected that I told her to her face instead of sneaking around. Chris had no reason to feel a need to tell the guys at the club his personal business, it didn't relate to them because they weren't at all close, and had no interest in Nora. They were really out of line in their behavior. I don't know if Mariah talked it over with Jojo later, but I really believe she was happy for me.
I suppose the contrast is interesting. I mainly mentioned it because Nora is a major figure in my life starting in Junior year, and her relationship with Chris is certainly part of the story of the two of us, and also a major incident with Brian. Also, it was so wierd to see something so clearly while everyone around me appeared blind.
"When we actually disagreed it was usually over small things, but when it came to a head and he brought out the "I am right" voice as described I usually got very angry because that was the point where he just stopped listening."
Maybe it never bothered me as much because he didn't use it on me that way. I really can't remember him stopping listening to me. I mainly remember him using it when he'd made a decision, and while it might not have been the exact decision I would have made, it was acceptable to me, so I didn't bother fighting him on it. I would only have been fighting to show that I didn't have to do what he said, which seemed a poor overall plan for working as a coherent unit. Like I said, I was happy to have someone else make some of the decisions for me. I'd occasionally joke to myself that "I could stop anytime I wanted."
I clearly must ask you about probability sometime.
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