Thoughts of what will come to pass...
I am filled with a feeling of remorse and despair now when I think about this coming Christmas. The intoxicating optimism I held earlier has abandoned me and now I'm left with the sober reality that I will be absolutely alone on one of the days that families are supposed to come together. And even though I've been given generous offers to join other people for Christmas dinners, I most likely won't be in attendance due to the feeling of unworthiness that I have. I deserve to spend the holiday in solitude because I chose to stay behind. But perhaps this there's an underlying reason to why I decided to stay in Michigan. Perhaps this will get me to start going to church again on Sundays because I am planning to attend one of the Christmas Eve services at my old church in O-town. We shall see if that is the silver lining to this cloud.
I really hope somebody's having a New Year party. But if not, then it'll probably wind up being Paul and me. Chilling out like normal. To be honest, staying up until midnight isn't all that big a deal these days considering that's kind of a routine for me...one that will definitely have to change for next semester.
So until next time, au revoir.
I really hope somebody's having a New Year party. But if not, then it'll probably wind up being Paul and me. Chilling out like normal. To be honest, staying up until midnight isn't all that big a deal these days considering that's kind of a routine for me...one that will definitely have to change for next semester.
So until next time, au revoir.