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Here's a word to the wise: don't abuse your healthcare provider. Don't yell at, threaten or physically attack your healthcare provider. It's not big, it's not smart and it's not going to endear you to us.
We're there to make you better. Not comfortable. Consider comfort a perk to which your entitlement can and will be withdrawn. Nobody likes hospitals. We get it. Trust me, we want you out at least as much as you want to leave, but if we're telling you to stick around it's for your own good. I don't expect to have to set nurses up with a sedative hypodermic to carry out their routine rounds.
Practice a little patience. Generally in epidemic cases we deal with multiple patients presenting the same illness, not a bunch of viruses vaguely correlated by transmission. We're working on it. You do not want us to misdiagnose you. Misdiagnosis can lead to you being sicker than you already are. So give us time. Contrary to popular belief, yelling at your doctor doesn't speed them up, it pisses them off.
And please check the network before you come in with hallucinations. For that matter, check your genitals. I can't treat you for a mysteriously appearing leather-studded loo seat any more than Nigerian doctors could treat 'ghost' penises.
Oh yeah. And if you act like kids, we're going to treat you like kids.
Todays post was brought to you by the words patience and common sense, and the letters M and D.
private to clinic team;
Patient: Billy Kaplan
Transferrin check revealed it is not hemochromatosis. In fact his iron levels are depleted. white count is through the floor and I don't know how long I can keep his liver going in the ICU. I'm ordering a blood transfusion, it'll buy us time if nothing else.
Patient: Eden McCain
Due to drop any day now. If I'm not on hand for the delivery, I've added a note to her file that the first priority in her care is to anaesthetise her vocal chords. Recommended: an injection of 2mls 2% lignocaine through the cricothyroid membrane, to be repeated once every thirty minutes. She'll be communicating with us via the written medium.
Finally, if anyone hasn't got their plague exposure prophylactics, now would be a good time.
private to Eden McCain
How are you holding up? I'm going to arrange a home visit instead of your clinic appointment this week. If you need to come in for any reason, mention my name at the desk and you'll get a free pass to skip the waiting room.
[ooc: have to run for an hour or so]
We're there to make you better. Not comfortable. Consider comfort a perk to which your entitlement can and will be withdrawn. Nobody likes hospitals. We get it. Trust me, we want you out at least as much as you want to leave, but if we're telling you to stick around it's for your own good. I don't expect to have to set nurses up with a sedative hypodermic to carry out their routine rounds.
Practice a little patience. Generally in epidemic cases we deal with multiple patients presenting the same illness, not a bunch of viruses vaguely correlated by transmission. We're working on it. You do not want us to misdiagnose you. Misdiagnosis can lead to you being sicker than you already are. So give us time. Contrary to popular belief, yelling at your doctor doesn't speed them up, it pisses them off.
And please check the network before you come in with hallucinations. For that matter, check your genitals. I can't treat you for a mysteriously appearing leather-studded loo seat any more than Nigerian doctors could treat 'ghost' penises.
Oh yeah. And if you act like kids, we're going to treat you like kids.
Todays post was brought to you by the words patience and common sense, and the letters M and D.
private to clinic team;
Patient: Billy Kaplan
Transferrin check revealed it is not hemochromatosis. In fact his iron levels are depleted. white count is through the floor and I don't know how long I can keep his liver going in the ICU. I'm ordering a blood transfusion, it'll buy us time if nothing else.
Patient: Eden McCain
Due to drop any day now. If I'm not on hand for the delivery, I've added a note to her file that the first priority in her care is to anaesthetise her vocal chords. Recommended: an injection of 2mls 2% lignocaine through the cricothyroid membrane, to be repeated once every thirty minutes. She'll be communicating with us via the written medium.
Finally, if anyone hasn't got their plague exposure prophylactics, now would be a good time.
private to Eden McCain
How are you holding up? I'm going to arrange a home visit instead of your clinic appointment this week. If you need to come in for any reason, mention my name at the desk and you'll get a free pass to skip the waiting room.
[ooc: have to run for an hour or so]