Conversations with Dead Family
“He’s a fine boy.” Winona Kirk sips her coffee and watches as David Marcus, all of 14 years old, takes his horse for a ride around her brother’s ranch under Montana skies.
“He takes after his mother. Got his Ph.D at 22.” Jim also watches, every so often looking at his aging mother, her salt and pepper hair braided behind her.
“I seem to recall that you wee the youngest starship captain in the fleet.” She smiles, proud of her boy.
“Yes, but the things he came up with…if he and Carol tried to explain the Genesis project to me, I think my head would implode.”
“Does she know?” David rides almost out of sight.
“About David? I told her myself. She didn’t yell or weep, but she cut the call short, and I haven’t heard from her since. I think she’s angry. I’m sure at who - me, or Starfleet or the Klingons - but she wants nothing to do with me now.”
“And does she know that the project was tainted?”
“I don’t know. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that her son broke the law and undermined her project.”
“That’s very much like you, too. Bending the rules. Doing what he thought was right.”
Kirk shakes his head. “This isn’t the time for that, Ma.”
“No, I suppose not.” She refreshes her cup from an old-fashioned coffee pot. “You should go to him.”
“Later.”
“And for how many years did you say ‘later’?”
“I haven’t seen you in a long time, either.”
She smiles, the sun glinting off her thick black hair. “Jimmy, don’t you think I’m used to it by now? I knew from the first night you peered up into the stars that you’ve be leaving and never coming back.”
“I did come back.” Jim, his gold command shirt reflecting the morning sun, looks confused. “When you needed me most, I was there.”
“No, Jimmy, when you needed to be with me most, you were there. Not that I minded when you came home after George died. Or that you were with me when I went. But I was okay.”
“You died. I’m not sure that was something you could be okay about.”
“Jimmy, we all die alone.” David gallops by at high speed, grinning and holding on for dear life. “I just accepted that a long time ago. It’s probably part of being in this family.”
“I didn’t do enough,” Kirk blurts out.
“For me? For him? Spock?”
“For you. Bones knows the best specialists on Earth and he-“
“He would have prolonged things, that’s all. Even in this age of transwarp drive, some cancers don’t like treatment.”
“There’s no such thing as transwarp drive,” Jim says automatically. “It will never work.”
“So you do understand?” Winona was as beautiful today as she was the day she married George Kirk.
“I suppose. But…I miss you.”
Winona just smiled. She knew that he was fine without her.
“That’s sweet of you to say, James Kirk, but there’s a boy out there who needs you more than I do. Go to him.”
__________
Jim rides Grendel across the plains, past the statue of Zefram Cochrane, hoping to catch up to David. It’s been months since he last mounted the gray horse, longer still since he rode this fast. But David isn’t in sight.
He rides around some more. He looks back and sees the farm, in the family since Teddy Roosevelt was president. “Are you going to sell it?” Winona’s on Sea Coast, Antonia’s favorite horse. Her hair is white, caught up in a bun. She looks tired.
“I don’t know what to do with it. Peter’s in the Academy now, so he won’t need it. And David can never visit. But to sell it…no, it’s ours. “
“They’ll make it into a museum someday.”
“That would be the last thing I want.”
“You’re a legend already, Jimmy.”
“I’m just one man.”
“That false modesty doesn’t fool me, son. You take pride in everything you ever did. You’re like your father that way.”
“Dad? Dad was the most modest man I ever met.”
Winona laughs a bit. “He loved the spotlight, just like you, Admiral. And I’ll tell you what I told him. Don’t fight it. Because you can use that spotlight to help people."
“To help David?” Jim looks skeptical. “Carol never liked the kind of attention I got, and I doubt he did, either.”
“Didn’t he tell you he was proud to have you as his father?”
“That doesn’t mean he wanted to watch me on the news.” They ride on, the sun setting. “And I don’t think he liked Starfleet much. His papers were a bit...harsh.”
“You read them?”
“Some of them. Didn’t you pull strings and read every mission briefing I filed, even the classified ones?”
“You knew, Jimmy?”
Kirk smirks at his mother as he started to gain some distance.
“Ma, I was in charge of Starfleet Operations. I knew everything.” The sun is now almost gone. “I should go, Ma. If I’m going to catch him…”
“Don’t worry, son. I can get home okay. Before they turn it in a museum.” She turns her horse around, and in the last glimmers of day, she looks tired, old, but still tough.
“Thanks for riding with me, Ma.”
But she’s already home before he can finish the sentence.
________
Kirk rides on, Grendel carrying him onto the bridge of the Enterprise. As he dismounts, he hears Abe Lincoln announce “admiral on the bridge” and watches as Gary Mitchell rises from the command chair.
“All’s well, Jim,” Gary says as he feeds Grendel a slice of cheese and takes him to the stables. Kirk sits in his chair and takes it all in. The bridge has been restored to how it was when he was just a captain. How he missed it.
How he missed her. He just sist quiet and listens to the pings and whistles and chatter of the bridge. Later, he could play poker with Gary, or maybe share some stories with Honest Abe. But right now, he’s home, in the bosom of the ship he so loves.
And misses.
I never said goodbye to you, he thinks. I don’t regret doing what I had to - I never do - but when I sent you to oblivion, you took part of me with you.
And now I’m home.
“Jim?” Gary Mitchell returns to the bridge and takes his seat at the helm, smiling.
“Something on your mind, Gary?”
“Just that it’s good to see you. Oh, and David is in the stable.”
“And did that boy have anything to say for himself?”
“Nope. I don’t think he likes me. Does he know I set you and Carol up in the first place?”
“I’m sure of it. I imagine he believes that his father could have been a nice, quiet, respectable biologist.”
“He never knew Carol Marcus when she was young.” Gary smirks.
“That’s the mother of my son you’re talking about, Mister Mitchell. And now I would advise you keep an eye on the road.”
“Aye-aye, sir.” Gary keeps on smirking, and sets a heading away from the Genesis Planet, into deep space.
“Abe, you have the con. I’m going to take a walk.” The 16th president of the United States takes the chair.
“Where are you going, sir?” He never did get used to Abe’s deferential treatment, but Abe insists on the chain of command.
“To see an old friend, and then my son.” He steps into the turbolift…
All’s well on the finest ship in the fleet.
“He takes after his mother. Got his Ph.D at 22.” Jim also watches, every so often looking at his aging mother, her salt and pepper hair braided behind her.
“I seem to recall that you wee the youngest starship captain in the fleet.” She smiles, proud of her boy.
“Yes, but the things he came up with…if he and Carol tried to explain the Genesis project to me, I think my head would implode.”
“Does she know?” David rides almost out of sight.
“About David? I told her myself. She didn’t yell or weep, but she cut the call short, and I haven’t heard from her since. I think she’s angry. I’m sure at who - me, or Starfleet or the Klingons - but she wants nothing to do with me now.”
“And does she know that the project was tainted?”
“I don’t know. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that her son broke the law and undermined her project.”
“That’s very much like you, too. Bending the rules. Doing what he thought was right.”
Kirk shakes his head. “This isn’t the time for that, Ma.”
“No, I suppose not.” She refreshes her cup from an old-fashioned coffee pot. “You should go to him.”
“Later.”
“And for how many years did you say ‘later’?”
“I haven’t seen you in a long time, either.”
She smiles, the sun glinting off her thick black hair. “Jimmy, don’t you think I’m used to it by now? I knew from the first night you peered up into the stars that you’ve be leaving and never coming back.”
“I did come back.” Jim, his gold command shirt reflecting the morning sun, looks confused. “When you needed me most, I was there.”
“No, Jimmy, when you needed to be with me most, you were there. Not that I minded when you came home after George died. Or that you were with me when I went. But I was okay.”
“You died. I’m not sure that was something you could be okay about.”
“Jimmy, we all die alone.” David gallops by at high speed, grinning and holding on for dear life. “I just accepted that a long time ago. It’s probably part of being in this family.”
“I didn’t do enough,” Kirk blurts out.
“For me? For him? Spock?”
“For you. Bones knows the best specialists on Earth and he-“
“He would have prolonged things, that’s all. Even in this age of transwarp drive, some cancers don’t like treatment.”
“There’s no such thing as transwarp drive,” Jim says automatically. “It will never work.”
“So you do understand?” Winona was as beautiful today as she was the day she married George Kirk.
“I suppose. But…I miss you.”
Winona just smiled. She knew that he was fine without her.
“That’s sweet of you to say, James Kirk, but there’s a boy out there who needs you more than I do. Go to him.”
__________
Jim rides Grendel across the plains, past the statue of Zefram Cochrane, hoping to catch up to David. It’s been months since he last mounted the gray horse, longer still since he rode this fast. But David isn’t in sight.
He rides around some more. He looks back and sees the farm, in the family since Teddy Roosevelt was president. “Are you going to sell it?” Winona’s on Sea Coast, Antonia’s favorite horse. Her hair is white, caught up in a bun. She looks tired.
“I don’t know what to do with it. Peter’s in the Academy now, so he won’t need it. And David can never visit. But to sell it…no, it’s ours. “
“They’ll make it into a museum someday.”
“That would be the last thing I want.”
“You’re a legend already, Jimmy.”
“I’m just one man.”
“That false modesty doesn’t fool me, son. You take pride in everything you ever did. You’re like your father that way.”
“Dad? Dad was the most modest man I ever met.”
Winona laughs a bit. “He loved the spotlight, just like you, Admiral. And I’ll tell you what I told him. Don’t fight it. Because you can use that spotlight to help people."
“To help David?” Jim looks skeptical. “Carol never liked the kind of attention I got, and I doubt he did, either.”
“Didn’t he tell you he was proud to have you as his father?”
“That doesn’t mean he wanted to watch me on the news.” They ride on, the sun setting. “And I don’t think he liked Starfleet much. His papers were a bit...harsh.”
“You read them?”
“Some of them. Didn’t you pull strings and read every mission briefing I filed, even the classified ones?”
“You knew, Jimmy?”
Kirk smirks at his mother as he started to gain some distance.
“Ma, I was in charge of Starfleet Operations. I knew everything.” The sun is now almost gone. “I should go, Ma. If I’m going to catch him…”
“Don’t worry, son. I can get home okay. Before they turn it in a museum.” She turns her horse around, and in the last glimmers of day, she looks tired, old, but still tough.
“Thanks for riding with me, Ma.”
But she’s already home before he can finish the sentence.
________
Kirk rides on, Grendel carrying him onto the bridge of the Enterprise. As he dismounts, he hears Abe Lincoln announce “admiral on the bridge” and watches as Gary Mitchell rises from the command chair.
“All’s well, Jim,” Gary says as he feeds Grendel a slice of cheese and takes him to the stables. Kirk sits in his chair and takes it all in. The bridge has been restored to how it was when he was just a captain. How he missed it.
How he missed her. He just sist quiet and listens to the pings and whistles and chatter of the bridge. Later, he could play poker with Gary, or maybe share some stories with Honest Abe. But right now, he’s home, in the bosom of the ship he so loves.
And misses.
I never said goodbye to you, he thinks. I don’t regret doing what I had to - I never do - but when I sent you to oblivion, you took part of me with you.
And now I’m home.
“Jim?” Gary Mitchell returns to the bridge and takes his seat at the helm, smiling.
“Something on your mind, Gary?”
“Just that it’s good to see you. Oh, and David is in the stable.”
“And did that boy have anything to say for himself?”
“Nope. I don’t think he likes me. Does he know I set you and Carol up in the first place?”
“I’m sure of it. I imagine he believes that his father could have been a nice, quiet, respectable biologist.”
“He never knew Carol Marcus when she was young.” Gary smirks.
“That’s the mother of my son you’re talking about, Mister Mitchell. And now I would advise you keep an eye on the road.”
“Aye-aye, sir.” Gary keeps on smirking, and sets a heading away from the Genesis Planet, into deep space.
“Abe, you have the con. I’m going to take a walk.” The 16th president of the United States takes the chair.
“Where are you going, sir?” He never did get used to Abe’s deferential treatment, but Abe insists on the chain of command.
“To see an old friend, and then my son.” He steps into the turbolift…
All’s well on the finest ship in the fleet.