Celebs Should Support Their Customers by Gabe Berman
Celebs should support their customers
BY GABE BERMAN
Special to The Herald
Several national telethons are being organized for the victims of Hurricane Katrina in the coming days. As in the wake Sept. 11, our beloved celebrities will appear on network television and plead with us to whip out our credit cards. They'll be deeply moved by the tragedy and earnestly inspired by the resiliency of the human spirit. They'll try to lighten the mood with a couple of witty one-liners, and before you know it, someone will be singing John Lennon's Imagine, and we'll see movie stars answering phone calls from actual folks like you and me. I get choked up when I think about the thousands of dollars we may be able to raise for the victims of this horrific natural disaster.
But let's back up for a moment. I'm not innocent of bowing down to false idols such as professional athletes, movie stars, rock stars, TV personalities, and famous CEOs. For whatever reason, I love Shaquille O'Neal. If Jessica Simpson is pondering a divorce, I want to know every detail. And like most red-blooded Americans, I was tuned in to hear the Michael Jackson verdict. But with that said, as of today, I'm boycotting all things celebrity. As far as this telethon goes, I won't support it.
Here's what should be on TV instead:
I want to see 1,000 of the world's wealthiest celebs, corporate execs and heirs to family fortunes waiting in line for their opportunity to sit down at an unassuming desk with the head of the American Red Cross.
A ballpoint pen will be provided and the likes of Sean ''Diddy'' Combs, George (Star Wars) Lucas and other moguls will pull out their checkbooks and put their John Hancock on a million-dollar donation.
I don't want to hear any bellyaching about their money being tied up in investments, either.
Shaq, you take home about $25 million a year before you cash a single endorsement check. Diddy, we applaud the half-million you are giving to BET's relief telethon, but your net worth is in the half a billion bucks neighborhood. Lucas, you make these two guys look like paupers. Bill Gates, don't even get me started with you.
I'm sure many movie stars, athletes and trust fund kids are extremely charitable, but it's time to give more. Give until it almost hurts. You can afford it. The incredibly unfortunate people you see on TV standing tippy-toed to keep their heads above the rising floodwaters are the same people who buy your albums, see your movies, and gobble up the products you hock. It's time for you to fulfill your karmic duty and give back.
If a thousand of the rich and famous multiplied their $1,000,000 donations, $1 billion would be raised in a single evening. Instantly, we would be able to ease the suffering in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama.
Maybe I'm being overly generous with other people's money. But I'm sure I don't stand alone when I declare that I simply cannot tolerate another telethon or benefit concert where people who get paid a king's ransom to play guitar for a living have the chutzpah to beg teachers, electricians and bartenders for donations.
So Shaq, George, all you other Hollywood types -- call your accountants, call your lawyers, and then call your bank. Your fans need you.
BY GABE BERMAN
Special to The Herald
Several national telethons are being organized for the victims of Hurricane Katrina in the coming days. As in the wake Sept. 11, our beloved celebrities will appear on network television and plead with us to whip out our credit cards. They'll be deeply moved by the tragedy and earnestly inspired by the resiliency of the human spirit. They'll try to lighten the mood with a couple of witty one-liners, and before you know it, someone will be singing John Lennon's Imagine, and we'll see movie stars answering phone calls from actual folks like you and me. I get choked up when I think about the thousands of dollars we may be able to raise for the victims of this horrific natural disaster.
But let's back up for a moment. I'm not innocent of bowing down to false idols such as professional athletes, movie stars, rock stars, TV personalities, and famous CEOs. For whatever reason, I love Shaquille O'Neal. If Jessica Simpson is pondering a divorce, I want to know every detail. And like most red-blooded Americans, I was tuned in to hear the Michael Jackson verdict. But with that said, as of today, I'm boycotting all things celebrity. As far as this telethon goes, I won't support it.
Here's what should be on TV instead:
I want to see 1,000 of the world's wealthiest celebs, corporate execs and heirs to family fortunes waiting in line for their opportunity to sit down at an unassuming desk with the head of the American Red Cross.
A ballpoint pen will be provided and the likes of Sean ''Diddy'' Combs, George (Star Wars) Lucas and other moguls will pull out their checkbooks and put their John Hancock on a million-dollar donation.
I don't want to hear any bellyaching about their money being tied up in investments, either.
Shaq, you take home about $25 million a year before you cash a single endorsement check. Diddy, we applaud the half-million you are giving to BET's relief telethon, but your net worth is in the half a billion bucks neighborhood. Lucas, you make these two guys look like paupers. Bill Gates, don't even get me started with you.
I'm sure many movie stars, athletes and trust fund kids are extremely charitable, but it's time to give more. Give until it almost hurts. You can afford it. The incredibly unfortunate people you see on TV standing tippy-toed to keep their heads above the rising floodwaters are the same people who buy your albums, see your movies, and gobble up the products you hock. It's time for you to fulfill your karmic duty and give back.
If a thousand of the rich and famous multiplied their $1,000,000 donations, $1 billion would be raised in a single evening. Instantly, we would be able to ease the suffering in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama.
Maybe I'm being overly generous with other people's money. But I'm sure I don't stand alone when I declare that I simply cannot tolerate another telethon or benefit concert where people who get paid a king's ransom to play guitar for a living have the chutzpah to beg teachers, electricians and bartenders for donations.
So Shaq, George, all you other Hollywood types -- call your accountants, call your lawyers, and then call your bank. Your fans need you.