(no subject)
hazzardcountyhooligan: i'm sure you dont want to hear from me...and i dont blame you. i'm a piece of shit. i have to apologize for the way ive treated you. it didnt have anything to do with any other girl,i'm just a mental little bitch. i dont expect you to respond....i just owe you an apology...a thousand actually. i hope your ok.
workinclaslass: why are you doing this
hazzardcountyhooligan: i wasn't trying to "do" anything,i just owed you an apology.
workinclaslass: you owe me a lot more then that
workinclaslass: i can't fucking BELIEVE you
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know i do.i don't know what to say. do you want me to leave you alone?
workinclaslass: i want to know what the fuck i did that deserved that
hazzardcountyhooligan: nothing....if you had deserved it i wouldnt be talking to you now.i just had all this shit swirling around in my brain and i was panicking everytime i thought about you...so rather than be a man and try to figure it out i just cut off.
workinclaslass: really..well that's just fucking great dave
workinclaslass: i didn't know what the fuck happened, if the god damned hurricanes blew you away..IIII was panicking because i had no way of getting a hold of you or any of your fucking friends...i didn't know if you were alive or dead, what happened to kaelee..then one of my close friends kills himself and i called you to be there for me and nothing
workinclaslass: and nothig
workinclaslass: nothing
workinclaslass: fucking shit dave
workinclaslass: what the fuck is wrong with you
hazzardcountyhooligan: i'm fucked up...and i'm an asshole. nate kicked me in the balls per your request if that has any bearing
workinclaslass: yea right
hazzardcountyhooligan: not that his dainty little foot did any damage. ok,i dont expect any sympathy but the reason i really had to talk to you and tell you how sorry i am is because you were my friend above everything else. i found my grandmother dead last wednesday and you were one of the first people i wanted to call and freak out to. so ever since then ive been kind of debating whether or not i should even message you or just leave you alone.
workinclaslass: what the fuck am i supposed to goddamned do here dave..am i supposed to push back all the fucking rage and hurt i have right now because i'm sorry that your grandmother died and be the sympatheic friend that i am? i don't have enough fucking medication and my ulcer's already the size of fucking texas
workinclaslass: or should i be a cold hearted cunt and say fuck you i don't care
workinclaslass: i can't do that either
hazzardcountyhooligan: dont do any of it...i dont expect you to treat me any better than i treated you.i'm just trying to explain why i had to say i'm sorry. i have no excuses.
workinclaslass: it took your grandmoter dying for you to apologize to me?
hazzardcountyhooligan: to make me really think about what i had done,yes
workinclaslass: who does that say a lot for, you or me?
hazzardcountyhooligan: not me...all it says about me is that i'm really good at pushing shit to the back of my head that i cant deal with.
workinclaslass: you know what the worst thing about this whole fucking thing is
hazzardcountyhooligan: what?
workinclaslass: i was willing to give up my entire fucking life for you...i was willing to compromise something so important to me to be with YOU...i figured i could be a wife to you and a mother to kaelee and i got FUCKED
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know.....i not only acted horribly to you,i hurt kaelee when i did it.
workinclaslass: how does she feel about it
hazzardcountyhooligan: shes ok now.....but she was upset when i told her you wouldnt be around. shes really the only person i talked to about it...i was totally honest with her
workinclaslass: what did you tell her
hazzardcountyhooligan: cuz she kept asking when you were coming again.....i had to tell her something
hazzardcountyhooligan: oh what
workinclaslass: yea, WHAT did you tell her
hazzardcountyhooligan: i told her i was freaking out,and didnt know what to do......having panick attacks....freaking out about the possibility of getting married again......the kid issue.....i told her i couldnt face you and had just stopped answering the phone.
workinclaslass: does she know that i fucking love her and no matter what happens between you and me, that doesn't change
hazzardcountyhooligan: i told her that
workinclaslass: does she believe you
hazzardcountyhooligan: yes..you never gave her a reason to think otherwise. she knows its all my fault
workinclaslass: did you ever fucking love me dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: of course
hazzardcountyhooligan: even though i dont have the most advanced ways of showing it
workinclaslass: really...cause you've certainly given me reasons to think otherwise
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know....i'm not denying that i'm a piece of shit
workinclaslass: i think piece of shit is an understatement
hazzardcountyhooligan: a piece of really smelly shit....on the shoe of a really smelly child molesting bum....like Aqualung,from the jethro tull song
workinclaslass: don't fucking make me laugh
hazzardcountyhooligan: i mdidnt mean to....just trying to be descriptive
workinclaslass: you weren't supposed to do this to me dave
workinclaslass: you were the fucking one, the only fucking one that i ever trusted
workinclaslass: i'm so fucking stupid
hazzardcountyhooligan: your not stupid...you just have bad taste
hazzardcountyhooligan: well,not in clothing
hazzardcountyhooligan: just men
workinclaslass: yea, lucky fucking me
hazzardcountyhooligan: on a side note....your new hair-do is quite fetching
workinclaslass: fuck you
workinclaslass: so how many girls did you cheat on me with..since we're on an honesty kick
hazzardcountyhooligan: none....i'm an asshole,but not that much of an asshole
workinclaslass: oh please..you're dave "mother fuckin" fidler..you couldn't keep you dick in your pants if it pad locked to your fucking thigh
hazzardcountyhooligan: granted...i am dave motherfuckin fidler....but i havent fucked anyone but you for a long time. i did jerk off all over myself while 2 girls got it on on my couch a few weeks ago......but that was more spectating
workinclaslass: you're fucking disgusting
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know....but you wanted me to be honest
workinclaslass: and i was talking in the 3 years that we've been doing this obviously meaningless bullshit back and forth
hazzardcountyhooligan: the only other girl i dated was thea
workinclaslass: why the fuck would you do this
workinclaslass: how the fuck could you do this to me dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: do which thing? stop talking to you?or start again?
workinclaslass: BOTH
workinclaslass: did i ever do anything wrong
workinclaslass: EVER
workinclaslass: did i ever hurt you
workinclaslass: lead you on
workinclaslass: cheat on you
workinclaslass: decieve you
workinclaslass: trick you
workinclaslass: anything but fucking love you and your daughter
workinclaslass: did i?
hazzardcountyhooligan: you never done anything but treat me like gold and my daughter like gold......i dont know what to do to convince you that i know i'm horrible.
workinclaslass: oh, i know
hazzardcountyhooligan: you know that i know?
workinclaslass: i didn't read that last part right
hazzardcountyhooligan: oh...well i know that you know i am
workinclaslass: knowing that you're horrible and doing nothing to correct it is meanlingless
workinclaslass: oh, well wait, it does mean something to me
workinclaslass: it means absolutly fucking DICK to me
hazzardcountyhooligan: well what am i supposed to do to correct it at this point?
workinclaslass: instill in your daughter to do the exact opposite of what you do in order to become a decent person?
workinclaslass: that's a start
hazzardcountyhooligan: ive always done that....when it comes to lots of stuff
workinclaslass: then why don't you fucking learn from it
hazzardcountyhooligan: i guess ive given up on myself really
workinclaslass: then why didn't you fucking inform me of that BEFORE we got back together again?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i didnt quite know what a fucktard i was at that point....i genuinley thought everything was going to work out great and we'd be a family
hazzardcountyhooligan: " ive always had a problem with flights riding up around my sternum when running from the bobbies after some aggro."
workinclaslass: what the fuck are you talking about
hazzardcountyhooligan: i posted that on a message board the other night
workinclaslass: great
workinclaslass: so what the fuck is it exactly that you want from me
hazzardcountyhooligan: i just want you know how sorry i am. and that youve always been a true friend and that i am aware of the fact that i fucked you and i know i'm shit. thats all i was trying to accomplish by messaging you at 4am.
workinclaslass: and are you seeking forgiveness out of this oh so hearfelt apology?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i wouldnt ever expect it
workinclaslass: wow, you do have some brains in that fucked up head of yours
hazzardcountyhooligan: a little pocket of em
workinclaslass: i just don't know what i'm supposed to do
workinclaslass: i don't like being mean
workinclaslass: and that's what's coming out
workinclaslass: and i'm tired of rolling over and eat shit just because you keep serving it up
hazzardcountyhooligan: well dont. be a complete cunt to me,i deserve it.forever.
workinclaslass: i fucking can't dave
workinclaslass: and you know i can't
workinclaslass: it's not who i am
workinclaslass: believe me...BELIEVE ME i wish i fucking could
hazzardcountyhooligan: well try...it would make both of us feel better
workinclaslass: i don't want you to fucking feel better
workinclaslass: i'm the one that got fucked here, not you
hazzardcountyhooligan: ok good start
workinclaslass: funny
hazzardcountyhooligan: http://www.cartnow.net/mvstore/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=CHICKEN maybe i need this
workinclaslass: maybe you need to just stop talking to people before another innocent girl falls into your douchebag hands
workinclaslass: how's that for being a cunt?
hazzardcountyhooligan: your trying to hard now
workinclaslass: well excuse the shit outta me..this isn't the easiest thing in the world
hazzardcountyhooligan: i have to go sleep for a couple hours before k gets home. i work the graveyard shift now.
workinclaslass: who stays with her?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i drop her at moms on my way in and she sleeps while i work
workinclaslass: please tell her that i love her very much and i miss her
hazzardcountyhooligan: i will
workinclaslass: you fucked up a really good thing..probably the best thing that ever happened to you..and you fucked up the chance for that beautiful little girl to have a great family
workinclaslass: have a great nap dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know,bye
workinclaslass: why are you doing this
hazzardcountyhooligan: i wasn't trying to "do" anything,i just owed you an apology.
workinclaslass: you owe me a lot more then that
workinclaslass: i can't fucking BELIEVE you
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know i do.i don't know what to say. do you want me to leave you alone?
workinclaslass: i want to know what the fuck i did that deserved that
hazzardcountyhooligan: nothing....if you had deserved it i wouldnt be talking to you now.i just had all this shit swirling around in my brain and i was panicking everytime i thought about you...so rather than be a man and try to figure it out i just cut off.
workinclaslass: really..well that's just fucking great dave
workinclaslass: i didn't know what the fuck happened, if the god damned hurricanes blew you away..IIII was panicking because i had no way of getting a hold of you or any of your fucking friends...i didn't know if you were alive or dead, what happened to kaelee..then one of my close friends kills himself and i called you to be there for me and nothing
workinclaslass: and nothig
workinclaslass: nothing
workinclaslass: fucking shit dave
workinclaslass: what the fuck is wrong with you
hazzardcountyhooligan: i'm fucked up...and i'm an asshole. nate kicked me in the balls per your request if that has any bearing
workinclaslass: yea right
hazzardcountyhooligan: not that his dainty little foot did any damage. ok,i dont expect any sympathy but the reason i really had to talk to you and tell you how sorry i am is because you were my friend above everything else. i found my grandmother dead last wednesday and you were one of the first people i wanted to call and freak out to. so ever since then ive been kind of debating whether or not i should even message you or just leave you alone.
workinclaslass: what the fuck am i supposed to goddamned do here dave..am i supposed to push back all the fucking rage and hurt i have right now because i'm sorry that your grandmother died and be the sympatheic friend that i am? i don't have enough fucking medication and my ulcer's already the size of fucking texas
workinclaslass: or should i be a cold hearted cunt and say fuck you i don't care
workinclaslass: i can't do that either
hazzardcountyhooligan: dont do any of it...i dont expect you to treat me any better than i treated you.i'm just trying to explain why i had to say i'm sorry. i have no excuses.
workinclaslass: it took your grandmoter dying for you to apologize to me?
hazzardcountyhooligan: to make me really think about what i had done,yes
workinclaslass: who does that say a lot for, you or me?
hazzardcountyhooligan: not me...all it says about me is that i'm really good at pushing shit to the back of my head that i cant deal with.
workinclaslass: you know what the worst thing about this whole fucking thing is
hazzardcountyhooligan: what?
workinclaslass: i was willing to give up my entire fucking life for you...i was willing to compromise something so important to me to be with YOU...i figured i could be a wife to you and a mother to kaelee and i got FUCKED
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know.....i not only acted horribly to you,i hurt kaelee when i did it.
workinclaslass: how does she feel about it
hazzardcountyhooligan: shes ok now.....but she was upset when i told her you wouldnt be around. shes really the only person i talked to about it...i was totally honest with her
workinclaslass: what did you tell her
hazzardcountyhooligan: cuz she kept asking when you were coming again.....i had to tell her something
hazzardcountyhooligan: oh what
workinclaslass: yea, WHAT did you tell her
hazzardcountyhooligan: i told her i was freaking out,and didnt know what to do......having panick attacks....freaking out about the possibility of getting married again......the kid issue.....i told her i couldnt face you and had just stopped answering the phone.
workinclaslass: does she know that i fucking love her and no matter what happens between you and me, that doesn't change
hazzardcountyhooligan: i told her that
workinclaslass: does she believe you
hazzardcountyhooligan: yes..you never gave her a reason to think otherwise. she knows its all my fault
workinclaslass: did you ever fucking love me dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: of course
hazzardcountyhooligan: even though i dont have the most advanced ways of showing it
workinclaslass: really...cause you've certainly given me reasons to think otherwise
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know....i'm not denying that i'm a piece of shit
workinclaslass: i think piece of shit is an understatement
hazzardcountyhooligan: a piece of really smelly shit....on the shoe of a really smelly child molesting bum....like Aqualung,from the jethro tull song
workinclaslass: don't fucking make me laugh
hazzardcountyhooligan: i mdidnt mean to....just trying to be descriptive
workinclaslass: you weren't supposed to do this to me dave
workinclaslass: you were the fucking one, the only fucking one that i ever trusted
workinclaslass: i'm so fucking stupid
hazzardcountyhooligan: your not stupid...you just have bad taste
hazzardcountyhooligan: well,not in clothing
hazzardcountyhooligan: just men
workinclaslass: yea, lucky fucking me
hazzardcountyhooligan: on a side note....your new hair-do is quite fetching
workinclaslass: fuck you
workinclaslass: so how many girls did you cheat on me with..since we're on an honesty kick
hazzardcountyhooligan: none....i'm an asshole,but not that much of an asshole
workinclaslass: oh please..you're dave "mother fuckin" fidler..you couldn't keep you dick in your pants if it pad locked to your fucking thigh
hazzardcountyhooligan: granted...i am dave motherfuckin fidler....but i havent fucked anyone but you for a long time. i did jerk off all over myself while 2 girls got it on on my couch a few weeks ago......but that was more spectating
workinclaslass: you're fucking disgusting
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know....but you wanted me to be honest
workinclaslass: and i was talking in the 3 years that we've been doing this obviously meaningless bullshit back and forth
hazzardcountyhooligan: the only other girl i dated was thea
workinclaslass: why the fuck would you do this
workinclaslass: how the fuck could you do this to me dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: do which thing? stop talking to you?or start again?
workinclaslass: BOTH
workinclaslass: did i ever do anything wrong
workinclaslass: EVER
workinclaslass: did i ever hurt you
workinclaslass: lead you on
workinclaslass: cheat on you
workinclaslass: decieve you
workinclaslass: trick you
workinclaslass: anything but fucking love you and your daughter
workinclaslass: did i?
hazzardcountyhooligan: you never done anything but treat me like gold and my daughter like gold......i dont know what to do to convince you that i know i'm horrible.
workinclaslass: oh, i know
hazzardcountyhooligan: you know that i know?
workinclaslass: i didn't read that last part right
hazzardcountyhooligan: oh...well i know that you know i am
workinclaslass: knowing that you're horrible and doing nothing to correct it is meanlingless
workinclaslass: oh, well wait, it does mean something to me
workinclaslass: it means absolutly fucking DICK to me
hazzardcountyhooligan: well what am i supposed to do to correct it at this point?
workinclaslass: instill in your daughter to do the exact opposite of what you do in order to become a decent person?
workinclaslass: that's a start
hazzardcountyhooligan: ive always done that....when it comes to lots of stuff
workinclaslass: then why don't you fucking learn from it
hazzardcountyhooligan: i guess ive given up on myself really
workinclaslass: then why didn't you fucking inform me of that BEFORE we got back together again?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i didnt quite know what a fucktard i was at that point....i genuinley thought everything was going to work out great and we'd be a family
hazzardcountyhooligan: " ive always had a problem with flights riding up around my sternum when running from the bobbies after some aggro."
workinclaslass: what the fuck are you talking about
hazzardcountyhooligan: i posted that on a message board the other night
workinclaslass: great
workinclaslass: so what the fuck is it exactly that you want from me
hazzardcountyhooligan: i just want you know how sorry i am. and that youve always been a true friend and that i am aware of the fact that i fucked you and i know i'm shit. thats all i was trying to accomplish by messaging you at 4am.
workinclaslass: and are you seeking forgiveness out of this oh so hearfelt apology?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i wouldnt ever expect it
workinclaslass: wow, you do have some brains in that fucked up head of yours
hazzardcountyhooligan: a little pocket of em
workinclaslass: i just don't know what i'm supposed to do
workinclaslass: i don't like being mean
workinclaslass: and that's what's coming out
workinclaslass: and i'm tired of rolling over and eat shit just because you keep serving it up
hazzardcountyhooligan: well dont. be a complete cunt to me,i deserve it.forever.
workinclaslass: i fucking can't dave
workinclaslass: and you know i can't
workinclaslass: it's not who i am
workinclaslass: believe me...BELIEVE ME i wish i fucking could
hazzardcountyhooligan: well try...it would make both of us feel better
workinclaslass: i don't want you to fucking feel better
workinclaslass: i'm the one that got fucked here, not you
hazzardcountyhooligan: ok good start
workinclaslass: funny
hazzardcountyhooligan: http://www.cartnow.net/mvstore/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=CHICKEN maybe i need this
workinclaslass: maybe you need to just stop talking to people before another innocent girl falls into your douchebag hands
workinclaslass: how's that for being a cunt?
hazzardcountyhooligan: your trying to hard now
workinclaslass: well excuse the shit outta me..this isn't the easiest thing in the world
hazzardcountyhooligan: i have to go sleep for a couple hours before k gets home. i work the graveyard shift now.
workinclaslass: who stays with her?
hazzardcountyhooligan: i drop her at moms on my way in and she sleeps while i work
workinclaslass: please tell her that i love her very much and i miss her
hazzardcountyhooligan: i will
workinclaslass: you fucked up a really good thing..probably the best thing that ever happened to you..and you fucked up the chance for that beautiful little girl to have a great family
workinclaslass: have a great nap dave
hazzardcountyhooligan: i know,bye