(no subject)
6-1-2006
I started out the new year by sticking to the only resolution I have made: I went to see my psychiatrist for the second time. Before I knew it I was agreeing to stop drinking alcohol completely for a month, starting today. So now I apparently have TWO New Year’s resolutions, which is a whole lot for someone who has never really considered holiday induced self-improvement before.
Of course the not drinking went out the window as soon as I gave it another thought. As excited as I am about the idea, it is at this moment far too daunting a challenge. You see, I went from drinking about 25 units of alcohol a week, which is almost twice the recommended amount for women. If I stop completely now, I’m afraid I am going to cave in and binge when I feel weak. So I made a new, more reasonable plan for the next few weeks. Hopefully it will help me to graduate to a full-fledged alcohol-free period.
Here’s the plan:
No more than 10 alcohol units a week (no continuous boozing)
AND
No more than 2 drinks a night (no binge drinking)
AND
At least 2 alcohol-free days a week, but ideally (or eventually) 5 alcohol-free days a week.
As a reminder to myself I will note down in my agenda exactly how many units of alcohol I have consumed each day. I already did so retrospectively for last week, and apparently I managed to consume an entire week’s allocation of alcohol in one single night. I’m not talking about the slimmed down allocation as stated above, but the recommended weekly maximum for women in general. That needs to change.
While I am not exactly a business minded person (far from it, actually) I made a little cost-benefit analysis, which will hopefully motivate me to stick to the proposed rations. Here’s what I came up with:
Disadvantages of not drinking:
- no more drunken rambling with my friends. I will miss that;
- no more wine with dinner. I love wine. There’s no alcohol-free wine. Someone should get on top of that;
- no more alcohol in the house, so nothing to offer guests. I will have to be one of those people who tells guests to bring their own booze, for which I will have to make up with my fantabulous and adventurous cooking. I kid, of course, but there’s a grain of truth in it;
- will become the token “sober person” in my gaggle of alcolicious friends and family. Not sure how I feel about that one;
- how the hell am I going to get my brain to shut up and stop it from spinning out of control without some intoxication?
Advantages of not drinking:
- alcohol slows down the metabolism for 2 to 3 days after consumption. Therefore, not drinking should get me in bikini shape without having to resort to cardboard flavored diet foods;
- will be needing my full brain capacity if I am to ever write a dissertation. Not drinking alcohol should help me preserve my ability to concentrate and focus;
- alcohol has a detrimental effect on my psychological state. I am drinking myself into sadness, so perhaps I can sober myself up into a more pleasant state;
- while I am investing time and money in therapy I might as well be as clear-headed as possible, at the very least for the duration of the treatment;
- although alcohol seems to relieve me from my insecurities while I am drinking, it drives me to sometimes embarrass myself, and the resulting mortification I feel might be far more painful than the initial insecurities were;
- and while I intend to grow to a ripe old age, I would like to do so gracefully. As it is, I am headed for a future as that crazy old lady who sits quietly at a corner of the bar, until she unavoidably starts yammering something incomprehensible about socialists and that winter in the fifties when the price of potatoes suddenly went up to 23 cents a kilo. I do not want my lack of control to become other people’s amusement (at best) or annoyance (in which case please kill me now).
But in the end I think there is one thing that worries me most about this experiment. You see, while I keep drinking I can easily convince myself that I am not abusing alcohol and not dependent on its effects. But when I stop I might, for the first time, realize how deep my relationship with Bourbon, Bordeaux and Bacardi has become. And while I have enjoyed their company a great deal they haven’t proven to be the most positive of influences in my life.
I guess it’s time to make some new friends. So I decided to give Earl Grey and Granny Smith a call tonight. Granted, they can be a bit dull, but they are very reliable. And I doubt that they’ll have anything better to do on a Friday night…
I started out the new year by sticking to the only resolution I have made: I went to see my psychiatrist for the second time. Before I knew it I was agreeing to stop drinking alcohol completely for a month, starting today. So now I apparently have TWO New Year’s resolutions, which is a whole lot for someone who has never really considered holiday induced self-improvement before.
Of course the not drinking went out the window as soon as I gave it another thought. As excited as I am about the idea, it is at this moment far too daunting a challenge. You see, I went from drinking about 25 units of alcohol a week, which is almost twice the recommended amount for women. If I stop completely now, I’m afraid I am going to cave in and binge when I feel weak. So I made a new, more reasonable plan for the next few weeks. Hopefully it will help me to graduate to a full-fledged alcohol-free period.
Here’s the plan:
No more than 10 alcohol units a week (no continuous boozing)
AND
No more than 2 drinks a night (no binge drinking)
AND
At least 2 alcohol-free days a week, but ideally (or eventually) 5 alcohol-free days a week.
As a reminder to myself I will note down in my agenda exactly how many units of alcohol I have consumed each day. I already did so retrospectively for last week, and apparently I managed to consume an entire week’s allocation of alcohol in one single night. I’m not talking about the slimmed down allocation as stated above, but the recommended weekly maximum for women in general. That needs to change.
While I am not exactly a business minded person (far from it, actually) I made a little cost-benefit analysis, which will hopefully motivate me to stick to the proposed rations. Here’s what I came up with:
Disadvantages of not drinking:
- no more drunken rambling with my friends. I will miss that;
- no more wine with dinner. I love wine. There’s no alcohol-free wine. Someone should get on top of that;
- no more alcohol in the house, so nothing to offer guests. I will have to be one of those people who tells guests to bring their own booze, for which I will have to make up with my fantabulous and adventurous cooking. I kid, of course, but there’s a grain of truth in it;
- will become the token “sober person” in my gaggle of alcolicious friends and family. Not sure how I feel about that one;
- how the hell am I going to get my brain to shut up and stop it from spinning out of control without some intoxication?
Advantages of not drinking:
- alcohol slows down the metabolism for 2 to 3 days after consumption. Therefore, not drinking should get me in bikini shape without having to resort to cardboard flavored diet foods;
- will be needing my full brain capacity if I am to ever write a dissertation. Not drinking alcohol should help me preserve my ability to concentrate and focus;
- alcohol has a detrimental effect on my psychological state. I am drinking myself into sadness, so perhaps I can sober myself up into a more pleasant state;
- while I am investing time and money in therapy I might as well be as clear-headed as possible, at the very least for the duration of the treatment;
- although alcohol seems to relieve me from my insecurities while I am drinking, it drives me to sometimes embarrass myself, and the resulting mortification I feel might be far more painful than the initial insecurities were;
- and while I intend to grow to a ripe old age, I would like to do so gracefully. As it is, I am headed for a future as that crazy old lady who sits quietly at a corner of the bar, until she unavoidably starts yammering something incomprehensible about socialists and that winter in the fifties when the price of potatoes suddenly went up to 23 cents a kilo. I do not want my lack of control to become other people’s amusement (at best) or annoyance (in which case please kill me now).
But in the end I think there is one thing that worries me most about this experiment. You see, while I keep drinking I can easily convince myself that I am not abusing alcohol and not dependent on its effects. But when I stop I might, for the first time, realize how deep my relationship with Bourbon, Bordeaux and Bacardi has become. And while I have enjoyed their company a great deal they haven’t proven to be the most positive of influences in my life.
I guess it’s time to make some new friends. So I decided to give Earl Grey and Granny Smith a call tonight. Granted, they can be a bit dull, but they are very reliable. And I doubt that they’ll have anything better to do on a Friday night…