introversion and polyamory

[wordygirl]

I've come across several forums for people who identify as introverts or specifically as INFPs and I'm surprised how often the topic of polyamory comes up. I'm also surprised by how often people will say that they couldn't possibly do poly because they are introverts. It seems to me that introverts are particularly well suited to poly

Comments

[wordygirl]

I can see how poly would appeal to extroverts for the reason you mentioned (wanting a lot of social interaction and finding that easier to have with multiple partners). I'm just surprised by how often people seem to assume that all poly people must be extroverts, in the sense that the only kind of person who would want multiple partners is someone who really likes being around people. That seems to miss the point, to me, at least in terms of how some of us do poly.

I don't want to see anyone all the time, and I prefer limited social interaction, so poly works better for me than traditional monogamy would, given that under traditional monogamy I would most likely be expected to spend all my time with my spouse, and I'm just not interested in that. I like having three or four close connections with people I see only infrequently, as quantity of time spent together does not equate to the quality of our emotional connection, at least for me.

If I was operating under traditional monogamy, I would probably never find someone who would be willing to have such a "part time" relationship (again, in terms of time spent together, not emotional intimacy), but that's fairly easy to find under poly.

I'm guessing that there are probably poly people from every configuration of personality types, but I do wonder if some are over-represented compared to the general population. Hmm, if I had some social sciences training I could do this as a research project!