(no subject)
So there was no 16 year old girl. What there was was far worse. I went to the beach party and spent the whole night with Mark, Matt's best friend from high school, while Matt wandered around totally obliterated, hitting on this girl with her forehead pierced.
Mark told me that Matt talks about me all the time and really likes me. But, he's a commitment phobe, and said to Mark he's worried I'd "get in the way" at the party. I started freaking out and Mark just kept saying, "He doesn't know how good he has it...you're the best person he's brought over to my house...he's mentally ill, like his father...I don't know what his problem is." But I couldn't be consoled. I did what any normal person would do. I screamed at him:
"WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME WHO MEETS YOUR RIDICULOUS STANDARDS?!"
And then, when he mentioned staying on North Campus, (where I live), for the night:
"AND WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO STAY?"
We wound up all staying at Kelly's and Matt and I slept across the room from eachother. This is a departure from the usual. I slept on this couch by myself and told the people there that if anyone touched me, I would kill them. Then I woke up this morning and felt like shit. I apologized, but it was weak, "Hey Matt, sorry for yelling at you," to which he replied, "Yea, it's ok." I haven't the foggiest where to go from here. My only idea is to call him and force him to discuss this with me. Because I never see him outside of parties and stuff, and there's this show on Friday I think I said I would go to, but I need to know if I should or not. I'll call him. I will make him talk to me.
Famous last words.
Mark told me that Matt talks about me all the time and really likes me. But, he's a commitment phobe, and said to Mark he's worried I'd "get in the way" at the party. I started freaking out and Mark just kept saying, "He doesn't know how good he has it...you're the best person he's brought over to my house...he's mentally ill, like his father...I don't know what his problem is." But I couldn't be consoled. I did what any normal person would do. I screamed at him:
"WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME WHO MEETS YOUR RIDICULOUS STANDARDS?!"
And then, when he mentioned staying on North Campus, (where I live), for the night:
"AND WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING TO STAY?"
We wound up all staying at Kelly's and Matt and I slept across the room from eachother. This is a departure from the usual. I slept on this couch by myself and told the people there that if anyone touched me, I would kill them. Then I woke up this morning and felt like shit. I apologized, but it was weak, "Hey Matt, sorry for yelling at you," to which he replied, "Yea, it's ok." I haven't the foggiest where to go from here. My only idea is to call him and force him to discuss this with me. Because I never see him outside of parties and stuff, and there's this show on Friday I think I said I would go to, but I need to know if I should or not. I'll call him. I will make him talk to me.
Famous last words.