nothing=nothing
every time i go to a concert and see a band that is so much more talented than i, it discourages me and i start to get down on myself. i wish it wasn't so, but it makes me feel that the songs i write don't mean anything. i can't find a place to put them, but maybe i shouldn't have to. it's sad that i don't care what anyone thinks about me and then for a moment i want some attention. or maybe i want to be further along with this thing than i am. i don't know what to do. now this girl that i had been seeing for a long on and off time seems so sad and i don't know how to help her. she is down about graduate school and how hard it is, then the fact that she doesn't really have any friends here to help her through her tough times. i want to help her, but at the same time i want our relationship to only be friends, and i'm not sure that is what she wants, cuz she says that when i'm so nice to her she misses me. i don't want her to miss me. i just want her to look at me as one of her best friends that she can talk to when she's said and that will not tell her that she's being foolish for crying over all the troubles she's having with school like her mother would. sometimes i feel that i'm all she has, i know that may be selfish, but i mean someone who will try and make her smile. but i only want to as a friend, cuz there was no sparks with that girl, i want to find someone that can make me smile and make me feel cool and calm whenever i get down...but then again, i'm being selfish.