(no subject)
Yea this week sucked so much...end of the quarter and i prolly failed every single class. goddamnit. why do i have to be so lazy and so fucking stupid? i have told myself for the past two years of school i am going to try harder...actually do my homework at home instead of right before class...if even that. that im going to study for tests. never happens. dont do homework and if i do it i make up stuff so it just looks like i did it but i really didnt. i hate this...im turning into my brother...a lazy bum who sits on his ass all day, doesnt go to classes and has to withdraw from three out of his four classes. if i dont try harder im gonna get kicked out of ndp and that would suck HORRIBLY.
ANYWAY...last night i went to dance, as usual, and then went bowling. it was awesome!! ahhh and i shanked meredith all the way down to her ankles....sooooo awesome. she had some nice underwear on... and then these little 10 year old kids called Bunny a lesbian. it was great. loker jim steph dave and i then went to towson commons and just walked around and while doing so we saw a lot of NDP girls...they were hilarious!! oh how i love them so...haha
Today i had two hours of dance. modern wasnt too bad with nikia but pointe...ugh i want to kill my teacher. actually at the time i just wanted to kill myself. she doesnt give counts for her dances and she doesnt know how to explina the fucking steps because she cant speak english. when she does finally get us to understand the steps she turns the music on and they dont go together at all. its so frustrating. but at this one point in class she was just being totally uncomprehendable...and while i was tryin to understand her my eyes started to overflow with tears. i wasnt sad and i didnt realize until i felt them on my cheeks and everyone started asking me if i was ok. it was so weird. oh well.
Tonight. tonight tonight tonight.i went with some friends from towson to see Maryvale's production of Fiddler on the Roof....HORRIBLE. they suck so much...except for a select few such as chris and i guess chip was ok haha sike hes cool. but everyone else...they were either good at acting and sucked at singing or they were good at singing and sucked at acting. most however were horrible at both. it was depressing. it was the second time today that i felt like killing myself. instead however emily davon (my lovely bisexual and abusive father) madonna kevin dave megan and this other girl left the play before intermission and went to a diner. we all got something to eat and then went back to the play expecting it to be over so we could just say hey to chris and chip. well we get back and there are 3 scenes lefft in the play. so queer. so yea sat through that shit and then hung out with the guys afterwards and then i left and came home.
so yea tomorrow will be me sleeping in mad late and then studying..yes i will actually study...for my history test monday. woo. so yea.
well i doubt anyone has read this far if anyone reads any of my entries at all but yea. i had a weird dream last night. i was at "the heishman house" cept it looked nothing like it cept it was obvious that it was supposed to represent their house. the first thing i remember is being in this huge room thats like a clown room witha tent and shit and im in it with some NDP friends. then i remember im in this other room in this fold out chair. im looking at everyone and there is everyone from c-ville that i used to hang out with and then there was the people that i hang out with from NDP. random people from c-ville would look me straight in the eye...not saying anything no smile or anything and then just look away. they wouldnt look at me long except for nate which was kind of weird...anywho. so then i dont remember anything cept c-ville people treating me like shit like what happened in middle school and then me being alone. kind of depressing. greg says he thinks of dreams as possible insights to what might happen in the futrure. hopefully nothing from my dream will happen...=/ i doubt anyones read thus far but yea if you have let me know what you think bout my dream.
night <3