Fearless Friday - Appearance and Effort
Since I've started working out on days when I'm on campus, I've been struck by how wide-spread the obsession with appearance is, and I'm not talking about apparel--gym wear seems to be pretty standard on a college campus, although the women wear more form-fitting garments than the men. I'm talking about how obsessed a certain portion of the male population has become with the appearance of their bodies. In other words, the Adonis complex. It's difficult to ignore when the wall behind the weight benches is mirrored and you notice that every single one of the young men checks themselves out as they walk past, whether or not they're working the weights.
It's also extremely troubling, as troubling as the messages girls have gotten for years that they're supposed to be thin but curvy, because its sends the message that everyone is supposed to strive to have the same sort of body, when we aren't born that way.
I really got thinking about this after I read a post that I, alas, forgot to bookmark, by a gay guy who presented the challenges he feels to conform in appearance, not only in the shape his body is in, but by how he presents himself. It sounded to me like he was in the worst of both worlds, expected to conform to both the masculine and feminine stereotypes. He shouldn't have to feel that way--no one should, not in this day and age, not after some of us spent a decade trying to encourage people to be themselves.
Now, apparently the only people who feel they don't need to worry about how they look are a category of young men I've seen around town a fair amount lately, most often with well-dressed young women who are either their dates or their girlfriends. These young men look like they threw on the first thing they found in the pile of laundry on their floor--not only over-sized, but rumpled; not only baggy, but grubby, as if they have made zero effort. Unless this is a calculated effort to signal their heterosexuality and masculinity--as in, I don't care how I look, so I must be straight. But I don't get it.
The other thing I don't understand is why a young woman would go out with someone who dresses like that. Because if he's a slob on a date, what's he going to be like in a relationship?
I don't expect everyone to look like soemthing out of Vogue or even Good Housekeeping, and I wouldn't want everyone to. But I do think a minimal standard in cleanliness and neatness is not too much to ask of either young men or young women (who seem to be wearing their bedroom slippers as streetwear these days.) I hope I don't sound too much like a fuddy-duddy, but I do think there's a line to be drawn betweeen being obsessed with appearance and flaunting your slobitude.
I would really love to know what you think about this.
It's also extremely troubling, as troubling as the messages girls have gotten for years that they're supposed to be thin but curvy, because its sends the message that everyone is supposed to strive to have the same sort of body, when we aren't born that way.
I really got thinking about this after I read a post that I, alas, forgot to bookmark, by a gay guy who presented the challenges he feels to conform in appearance, not only in the shape his body is in, but by how he presents himself. It sounded to me like he was in the worst of both worlds, expected to conform to both the masculine and feminine stereotypes. He shouldn't have to feel that way--no one should, not in this day and age, not after some of us spent a decade trying to encourage people to be themselves.
Now, apparently the only people who feel they don't need to worry about how they look are a category of young men I've seen around town a fair amount lately, most often with well-dressed young women who are either their dates or their girlfriends. These young men look like they threw on the first thing they found in the pile of laundry on their floor--not only over-sized, but rumpled; not only baggy, but grubby, as if they have made zero effort. Unless this is a calculated effort to signal their heterosexuality and masculinity--as in, I don't care how I look, so I must be straight. But I don't get it.
The other thing I don't understand is why a young woman would go out with someone who dresses like that. Because if he's a slob on a date, what's he going to be like in a relationship?
I don't expect everyone to look like soemthing out of Vogue or even Good Housekeeping, and I wouldn't want everyone to. But I do think a minimal standard in cleanliness and neatness is not too much to ask of either young men or young women (who seem to be wearing their bedroom slippers as streetwear these days.) I hope I don't sound too much like a fuddy-duddy, but I do think there's a line to be drawn betweeen being obsessed with appearance and flaunting your slobitude.
I would really love to know what you think about this.