Funny things
A lot of the times I can't tell if I'm doing what's right for myself. For some reason I have it wired in my brain that there'd be some kind of hint or acknowledgment of doing something right; like in the original Super Mario Bros. game at the final castle where it dings whenever you take the right path. Most of the time I don't want to berate a person's ear off or when I do want to share something that's bothering me I find myself at a lose with words or overall I don't think it's worthy to bring up. So I just usually shut up, and sit in front of reddit hoping to find someone posting about a similar(ish) situation and circle jerk all day. Then there are other times where I can be completely social to the point where it backfires: I'll over drink, over step my sarcasm, saying unnecessary shady things, and then being downright hateful at times. I guess you can say that's just a wall or a mask I'm wearing to hide my true insecurities, though perhaps the ironic part is is that those walls end up showing everyone the cracks in the surface. I used irony correctly, right? After my last post on here I ended up in another relationship that ended and to make that story short it wasn't at the best time. He ended up moving on very fast and I'm still just swinging by myself. Ever since then I've realized that I'm extremely lonely. Which, as I'm thinking and typing, can be used as motivation. Ughh my thoughts are just bouncing now. I know I need to work on watching what I do and say when I am in that social mode and try to surround myself with more uplifting material when in a said dumpy mood. I just would like a hug at the moment and my cat is a dick. I love him though so meh.