Suppression; Could This Be Denial?
Without a definable reason, I have officially opened up to you. I have told you how I felt. Now, talk about a vulnerable thing to do. I can't explain it. It's not something I believe I quite understand myself. But sometimes, it never is explainable. It's often a big question in of itself. It's just what it is; without regard or reservations of any kind.
Struggling with the aspects of what is right and wrong, I honestly have to say I'm torn in our relationship. I feel it is wrong. No, I believe it to be wrong. It is not a healthy, nor spiritual healthy, venture to take on. The psychological and biological chemistries cannot be there, therefore making any attempt to pursue further is a guarenteed to be a hard, but painful, set-up to fail. It just can't be. It must not be. It's impossible. It's wrong and should never even be thought about.
Yes, I know what I feel. I just don't know why. I may never know why. I may never understand. These concepts don't scare me. However, realizing that in some twisted and unreliable scope, this could possibly be a misguided, yet hopeless, reaction in relation to the previous events and goings-on. If that is the case, Lord, let me snap out of this now. Nonetheless, I'm almost certain it is not.
However, one thing I have not told you... One thing I have not answered... Hmmmm, for some unexplained reason, this is not new. These have been emotions that have been present for quite some time. Perhaps by choice, I've suppressed them never thinking they would never lurk their ugly heads within view. Some reactions to some questions that were asked, situations that have occurred, and obstacles we've been ventured through...well, maybe its best not bringing them up. However, these suppressions have gone on for years. Yes, years. However, it wasn't until a few months ago I started to take notice of what it really was about. I now fear what may be the one thing that could split us up for good.
Struggling with the aspects of what is right and wrong, I honestly have to say I'm torn in our relationship. I feel it is wrong. No, I believe it to be wrong. It is not a healthy, nor spiritual healthy, venture to take on. The psychological and biological chemistries cannot be there, therefore making any attempt to pursue further is a guarenteed to be a hard, but painful, set-up to fail. It just can't be. It must not be. It's impossible. It's wrong and should never even be thought about.
Yes, I know what I feel. I just don't know why. I may never know why. I may never understand. These concepts don't scare me. However, realizing that in some twisted and unreliable scope, this could possibly be a misguided, yet hopeless, reaction in relation to the previous events and goings-on. If that is the case, Lord, let me snap out of this now. Nonetheless, I'm almost certain it is not.
However, one thing I have not told you... One thing I have not answered... Hmmmm, for some unexplained reason, this is not new. These have been emotions that have been present for quite some time. Perhaps by choice, I've suppressed them never thinking they would never lurk their ugly heads within view. Some reactions to some questions that were asked, situations that have occurred, and obstacles we've been ventured through...well, maybe its best not bringing them up. However, these suppressions have gone on for years. Yes, years. However, it wasn't until a few months ago I started to take notice of what it really was about. I now fear what may be the one thing that could split us up for good.