Thisis the first year in a long time when I am really waiting for spring to arrive.
Last time when I had this feeling was in high school. I wanted warmth to come
so I could start wearing nice clothes and attract boys. Did anything change?
Yes, of course. I still want to attract men, but the list of reasons for this waiting
became longer.
Thiswinter feels too long this year, too dark and too cold. In most of my dreams I
keep running from a killer down the snowy, frozen streets of some dark,
abandoned city. During the day I wear a lot of baggy clothes so I didn't even
notice an extra size of clothes I might need. My electricity bill got as high
as a nice pair of new sunglasses, which I probably won't wear because I’d better
get blinded by a steadily missed sunlight.
Double exposure photography (Alina Levyz), Shanghai, China
Hard to believe that a bit more than a month ago everybody was in a hurry to buy Christmas
presents and Christmas trees. Probably today these trees are laying dead by
dumpsters of my home country. As many adults I didn't feel any special festive
mood. What a wonder that this year when I look around at all Chinese people
getting ready for their special new year, carefully picking presents for their beloved
ones, decorating city into red and pink, I start feeling their mood stronger,
than Christmas holidays I had.
Spring holidays make much more sense to me this year. I am also waiting now for warmth
to finally arrive into the city and into my life.
If to compare cold winter hiding into warm places and a summer warmth which
undresses people, making them closer to the environment, it becomes clear, that
the more layers of clothes we wear, the further we are from the rest of the
world. Personally I feel belonging more to the streets and places when they
don't try to expel me by it's cold wind,
morning frost and long dark days.
Even though I know how Shanghai changes in spring, I don't necessarily look forward
to see spring only in here. I have never been falling in love with places and
cities. Hard to explain why, but I tried to answer this question to myself a
lot of times when I would hear another
love story from someone I know and some city they fell in love with. I have
never had a love story with cities or countries. Somebody once said that no
matter where you go, you always take yourself with you. You can't run away from
yourself. Every time I travel I would discover a new place and would not compare
it with any other.
It is never a good idea to compare your previous
lover with a new one. Everybody is different and every place is different. So
if you don't feel ok in this or that case, there is definitely something in
need of a change in your personal climate area. Because if there is a beautiful
spring inside you, every place will make you feel just right.