Long time, no post...Risk Part 6
I apologize for the hiatus. Sometimes winter is not my most productive season.
Anyway...ta-daa! Here's a new chapter from "Risk."
For those just joining us:
Explanation, notes and disclaimers in Part 1.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
A reminder: Most of this story was originally written several years ago. Today's chapter recently underwent a heavy revision, although the last few pages are much as I first wrote them.
Previously, in Part 5, Mal was trying to keep out of everyone's way, but it's hard to hide from a psychic.
"Risk" Part 6
by HawkMoth
******
When Inara finally left her shuttle, it was immediately apparent something was up. Across the way, the hatch of Shuttle Two was wide open, but blocked with crates and piles of equipment which spilled out onto the catwalk. As she made her way to the foredeck stairs, she could see the cargo bay was in more of a state of organized chaos than usual.
As she turned the corner of the stairs, she ran into Simon and River, deep in conversation. The doctor looked up and gave her a tight smile.
"Word to the wise, Inara," he said. "If you see the captain today, head in the opposite direction as fast as you can."
So he had gone on some sort of captainy rampage. "Is he in one of his moods?" It was the safest response she could think of.
"Gloom and doom," River answered, although she was radiating cheeriness as she grabbed Inara's hand. "All work and no play. But it's time for lunch. You can let your light shine and the clouds will part."
Simon gave a helpless shrug and stepped aside as Inara let the girl lead her up the stairs and into the galley. Here too, things looked somewhat topsy-turvy, with the rest of the crew stepping around boxes and whatnot to gather at the table.
Mal was nowhere in sight.
Book was serving up a hearty lunch, and though everyone seemed in good appetite, it was a rather subdued meal. Inara quickly deduced exactly what Mal had been up to since their fight, and wasn't too surprised by his absence. At least the others seemed pleased by her presence. Their distracted state made it easier for her to act as if her situation was unchanged, while she listened sympathetically to the various complaints and grumblings about the inventory.
"Of course Serenity ain't a flying scrapyard," Kaylee muttered at one point. "She's just...lived in, that's all."
"She's a fine ship, meimei, " Inara said. "We all know that."
Kaylee nodded, but she gave Inara a strange look, not seeming at all comforted. She got up and cleared her place, saying, "Thanks, Shepherd, that was awful good," as she dumped the dishes in the sink. When she hurried off to the engine room, Simon excused himself just as quickly and followed after her.
No one else took much notice, although Wash looked a bit perturbed. "A job worth doing is worth doing well," River suddenly announced in the momentary quiet.
"Like hell," Jayne muttered, reaching for second helpings.
"Of course it is, sweetheart," said Book.
River flicked a crumb in Jayne's direction. "Cheating at cards is bad. But gambling is good!"
Zoe stood up, clearing her things and Wash's all at once. "Sooner we finish, the sooner the captain'll settle down. Everybody bring their lists and notes to supper, that'll keep him happy, and we can finish up in the morning."
"I'll tell Kaylee and Simon," Wash said, giving his wife a peck on the cheek. "I promised Kaylee I'd give her a hand back there after we ate."
Jayne snorted. "Betcha Simon's already doin' that."
As Wash departed, shaking his head, Zoe pointed a fork at Jayne. "Cargo bay," she said evenly. "Now."
He left without protest, grinning lewdly. Zoe followed a few seconds later, after thanking Book for the meal.
Inara was almost glad to see them go, relieved that everyone had their own business to mind, but also getting a little anxious about Mal. Who knew what state she would find him in--if she could find him. He knew all the best hiding places on Serenity.
Book had taken a stack of dishes to the sink. Only River was left, watching Inara from across the table, smiling with the same cheerfulness she had shown earlier.
Smiling back tentatively, Inara tried to empty her mind of all thoughts, suddenly certain River knew all about what had happened the night before. Oh please, dear child, she begged silently, don't say a word...
River leaned over and patted her hand. "Let the light shine in the dark," was all she said. She stood, gathering up bowls and utensils and handing them over the counter to Book
Strangely comforted, Inara also got up, ready to pass her own plate. The Shepherd waved her off. "We'll manage."
"Thank you," she said, wishing there had been something stronger than cider to drink with the meal. At least this trial was over, although as she left the galley she knew there might be far worse to face once she found Mal.
***
Serenity was a fine ship, but she could fool you. The old girl had her secrets, her hidden assets. You could think you knew her, then find yourself surprised by what she had and what she could do.
What Inara didn't know about the ship usually didn't bother her. It had been better to be without knowledge of certain things. Better for her own safety, and the well-being and security of the crew. That would change now, as other things changed. Yet there were some secrets she had been let in on, for the same reasons.
Wash had given her the "grand tour" shortly after she'd signed the rental agreement with Mal and moved in. The happy-go-lucky pilot had been her first friend aboard Serenity, even before her meimei Kaylee. Mal had set him the task of making sure Inara knew as much about piloting and navigation as she said she did--partly because he didn't quite believe her, but mostly because he didn't have the same expertise as Wash did to be any judge of her abilities.
So there were tough questions and ready answers, followed by an exhilarating, challenging test flight, after which the pilot and the Companion had bonded as easy equals. Zoe had read her husband's admiration for what it was, and accepted Inara's presence on the ship without any jealousy, though she seemed to share her captain's initial concerns over how well this deal would actually serve them. Mal, on the other hand, was so obviously puzzled by their instant friendship that it was almost funny. It left him even more wary of Inara than he had seemed on their first meeting, something which took him a long time to get over.
Therefore it had been Wash who helped her get acquainted with the ship's layout, her little quirks and most of her secrets. Wash was the one who saw how quickly she had fallen in love with Serenity. He showed her most of the nooks and crannies they used for storage, but not all the ones used for stashing illicit goods. He taught her the fastest ways to get around the ship in an emergency, and comm codes they used in tricky situations. "Mal may not like you knowing some of this stuff, but I think you should," he had admitted to her at one point. "So we'll just keep it our little secret."
It was most likely Mal still didn't know how much Inara knew about his ship. For instance, she knew there was a hidden door in the storage area behind the infirmary, which concealed a seldom-used room.
Which was where she found him not long after after lunch, guided by instinct to search deep inside Serenity before looking anywhere else. She'd taken great care not to be seen by the rest of the crew.
Inara went down the access steps quietly. The usually hidden annex was open to view, and she took a moment to observe her lover, sitting on one small storage crate, methodically sorting through the contents of another. At first glance he appeared untroubled, but she recognized the rigid set of his shoulders and the distant expression which meant he wasn't in a talking mood.
It didn't matter. They needed to settle their disagreement, so she took the last step down firmly enough to be heard.
Mal glanced up, and although his eyes narrowed slightly, he seemed unsurprised to see her. "So," he said slowly, "River decided to rat me out?"
"River?" Had the girl known all along where the captain was hiding? Inara shook her head. "I tracked you down myself."
He frowned. "You been in here before?"
"Once, ages ago. With Wash."
"Oh." He nodded briefly, acknowledging the distant memory. "Something I can do for you?" he asked tersely, pulling another dusty object out of the open crate and turning it over in his hands.
She gathered her skirt carefully and sat on a nearby box, trying not to be mindful of any grime. "You've got everyone in quite a state," she said mildly, resting her arms on her knees. "I think I actually heard the word 'mutiny' pass Wash's lips."
"Oh yeah, that's real funny," he muttered, not looking at her. "Ain't my fault if nobody was in the mood for some actual work. It was something that needed to be done. 'Sides, I got the idea from you."
"Oh, yes?" She sat up straight in righteous indignation. "So then it's my fault your crew is unhappy."
He shot an angry look of his own at her. "You come down here just to give me grief?"
Inara stood up quickly, stung by his resentful tone. "No," she retorted, trying not to lose her temper. This wasn't supposed to turn into another fight. She took a deep breath, praying for patience. "I came down here to apologize for what happened this morning," she told him, barely managing to keep a tremor out of her voice.
Mal sat perfectly still, just staring at her, his face gone blank.
She hated that--when he closed himself off and wouldn't respond. It made her feel helpless, unable to react herself. But she had to--she had say to something, anything, to make him understand it wasn't right to shut her out like that anymore.
"But since you're obviously not in the mood to accept an apology," she said with as much dignity as she could, "I'll save it for when you are." With all the quiet grace her years of training and practice had given her, she turned away from him and started for the stairs.
"Inara."
Wode tian. She had absolutely no willpower when he said her name that way. With a sigh, she turned around. "What?"
He had put down whatever he'd been holding, and was sitting with his hands clasped together, his head bowed. "You ain't the one who needs to be apologizin' here," he said softly. "You made a kind and generous offer, and I took it the wrong way. I'm sorry."
He lifted his head to finally look at her. The depth of the remorse on his face and the love in his eyes made her heart turn over. "Mal..." She crossed the empty space between them, stopping a few steps away. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been quite so...insistent about it."
Mal slowly got to his feet, brushing his hands against his pant legs, and smiled ruefully. "We do have an unfortunate tendency to set each other off, don't we?" He closed the gap and held a hand out to her.
Filled with relief, Inara took it and let him embrace her. "We're both too stubborn for our own good," she admitted, resting her head against his shoulder. She knew without a doubt this was far from the last of such disputes, and could only hope they would soon learn how to settle them more smoothly.
"That is a fact," Mal agreed as he secured one arm around her waist. "Truth is, you had the right of it, Inara. Having that money as insurance is a blessing, and one less burden on my mind--although they do keep addin' up," he said with a long-suffering sigh.
She raised her head. "What? What's happened?"
"Had myself a little chat with River a while ago."
"Oh." It was hardly a surprise, given her own suspicions during lunch, but it was still discomfiting news. "She knows."
Mal nodded. "That she does. She seemed mighty taken with the idea, too," he added with a crooked smile. "But we managed to come to an understanding--she knows it's our secret, and she'll keep it as long as we do."
It was another disturbing thought. She leaned back against him for comfort. "And how long will that be, Mal? It doesn't seem right, keeping it from the others. But part of me still wants to. It's--" she struggled to express what she was feeling--"special. Just us. I don't want to share it yet."
"Then we won't," he said resolutely, brushing a kiss across her hair. "Not until we're ready." He let out a soft chuckle. "Time will come, for the telling."
"What?"
"Just something little sister said. Girl gets under your skin in the damnedest ways."
"Poor child," Inara sighed. "I hope you weren't too angry with her."
"I am proud to say I held my temper in check. Mostly. She's not half as provokin' as you can be."
Even if he hadn't been smirking, she would have known he was teasing. Mostly. "Well, you would be the expert on provoking people," she said with a deceptively sweet smile.
His amused expression faded. "Is that a fact?" he asked, suddenly moving his hands to hold her by the hips close against his body, firm and insistent. He bent his head to hers, brushing his lips along her jaw up to her ear. "Am I provoking you right now?" he whispered.
He was, in the worst--no, in the best way possible, making her almost dizzy with desire. A flash of heat suffused her from head to toe, and she knew he had to feel it, knew what he was doing to her with hardly any effort at all. "Mal, please--" What was she going to do--tell him stop, or beg him not to?
"What?" Keeping her pressed to him with one strong hand, he used the other to tilt her face up, and grinned knowingly. "We had a fight. Don't we get to kiss and make up?"
"Y-yes," she stammered, wanting nothing more than to kiss him quite thoroughly. "But--not here! What if someone--"
"Uh-uh." He put a finger to her lips, his expression growing pensive. "You just shush a minute and listen. River had somethin' else to say to me. Said what you and I were doing was all about taking a risk, and that it was well worth the price."
He gazed at her intently. "You like taking risks, Inara--I saw that right off the day we met. You got a healthy respect for our dangerous life out here. And you don't much mind living on the edge, otherwise you'd've left this boat long ago."
The sharp truth of his words held her mesmerized, and underscored one of River's cryptic remarks. "Gambling is good," Inara murmured.
For an instant, Mal seemed confused. Then he caressed her face with a tenderness at odds with the fierce look in his eyes. "Yeah, you took one hell of a gamble--you stayed. And last night woulda never happened if you didn't fully comprehend the risk involved." His voice dropped to a near whisper. "You knew exactly how dangerous it was to fall in love with a man like me."
"Yes, I did." Heaven help her, she knew it all too well.
He nodded. "There's something else I gotta be sure you comprehend. I can't--I can't let myself be worrying about you more than anyone else. That's the way it should be, but I can't let it. You know the kind of decisions I've had to make, the sort of things I do to keep Serenity flying.
"I know what you think of some of those choices--we have had words over more than enough of 'em. There'll be plenty more such words spoken between us, I suspect. Just so long as you understand--I do love you, but my ship and my crew are almost always gonna come first."
She knew it hurt him to say that as much as it did for her to hear it. "I--I do understand, Mal. I think--you took a bigger risk than I did, looking past your prejudice and pride to see me as a real person. I can try to give up what I was, but I know some things can't change. You'll never stop being a captain, a leader. You can't give up this life, with all the risks and dangers it holds. I wouldn't want you to. And now..." She took his face in her hands and kissed him fervently. "I don't think I can ever give it up, either."
He tightened his hold on her and kissed her back with equal ardor. "You know we might be paying a price just about every damn day?"
"Yes," she whispered, clinging to him. Always living on the edge, one step away from the brink...she had made the choice with her eyes open.
"Then we best try to make every day worth it." Without warning, he lifted her off her feet just long enough to carry her deeper into the shadows of the annex, out of sight of anyone who might happen to wander by. The thrilling quickness of it took her breath away. He set her down carefully, backed up to the wall, his hands braced on either side of her body.
"Mal!" she protested, but it didn't come out nearly as scandalized as she intended.
He stood firm and gave her a challenging look. "Oh, yeah, you sound all kinds of upset with me. You wanna try that again?"
It was as if he wanted to prove they could still play each other, but with different, higher stakes. She was more than willing to play by new rules. "Only if you try something first," she dared him, reaching out to grasp his hips and pull him closer.
"Anything to oblige a lady," he replied. He bent down and started kissing her way hungrily along her face, down to her throat.
She let her hands drift upwards, stroking his back, and arched her body against him.
With a sharp intake of breath, he drew back and looked down at her. "I'm not hearing any complaints," he drawled.
"Where would you like me to start?" she asked prettily. "You're a terrible person." She slipped her hands inside the top of his pants and began tugging at his shirt. He bent his head again, nuzzling his lips against her neck.
"You're stubborn..." Her fingers reached bare skin and she ran her nails lightly along his ribs. Mal languorously kissed his way up to her face, as his hands slowly slid down from her hips and along her thighs.
"And--and arrogant..." She closed her eyes, lost in the way his touch made her shiver all over, even as it turned her blood to liquid fire.
"Seems like I've heard all that before," he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. "Maybe I oughta give you somethin' new to whinge about." Suddenly his hands dipped lower, gripping the fabric of her skirt and pulling it upwards.
Her eyes flew open as she realized with a start he was no longer playing. There was about to be something more than just kissing and making up happening in this tiny corner of Serenity. Mal intended to have her right up against this wall--and she was going to let him.
Because it was dangerous, the way they both liked it.
"And you--" She tried to catch her breath, as she dug her nails into his skin just hard enough to get his attention. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, a silent question on his face. "You always have to have your own way."
One corner of his mouth curved up wickedly. "Who's captain of this boat?"
She dropped her hands to his belt and slowly unbuckled it. "You are, Mal," she said with feigned meekness.
He grinned, not at all fooled. "Captains can do whatever they please. And right now--" he hitched her skirt up higher--"it pleases me..." His fingers slid under the skirt to stroke the inside of her thighs. Inara set hers to work unbuttoning his pants.
"To do this..." Mal finished breathlessly, taking her mouth with his in a searing kiss as he cupped his hands across the back of her hips, lifting her off her feet.
And it was all kinds of pleasing.
******
Anyway...ta-daa! Here's a new chapter from "Risk."
For those just joining us:
Explanation, notes and disclaimers in Part 1.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
A reminder: Most of this story was originally written several years ago. Today's chapter recently underwent a heavy revision, although the last few pages are much as I first wrote them.
Previously, in Part 5, Mal was trying to keep out of everyone's way, but it's hard to hide from a psychic.
"Risk" Part 6
by HawkMoth
******
When Inara finally left her shuttle, it was immediately apparent something was up. Across the way, the hatch of Shuttle Two was wide open, but blocked with crates and piles of equipment which spilled out onto the catwalk. As she made her way to the foredeck stairs, she could see the cargo bay was in more of a state of organized chaos than usual.
As she turned the corner of the stairs, she ran into Simon and River, deep in conversation. The doctor looked up and gave her a tight smile.
"Word to the wise, Inara," he said. "If you see the captain today, head in the opposite direction as fast as you can."
So he had gone on some sort of captainy rampage. "Is he in one of his moods?" It was the safest response she could think of.
"Gloom and doom," River answered, although she was radiating cheeriness as she grabbed Inara's hand. "All work and no play. But it's time for lunch. You can let your light shine and the clouds will part."
Simon gave a helpless shrug and stepped aside as Inara let the girl lead her up the stairs and into the galley. Here too, things looked somewhat topsy-turvy, with the rest of the crew stepping around boxes and whatnot to gather at the table.
Mal was nowhere in sight.
Book was serving up a hearty lunch, and though everyone seemed in good appetite, it was a rather subdued meal. Inara quickly deduced exactly what Mal had been up to since their fight, and wasn't too surprised by his absence. At least the others seemed pleased by her presence. Their distracted state made it easier for her to act as if her situation was unchanged, while she listened sympathetically to the various complaints and grumblings about the inventory.
"Of course Serenity ain't a flying scrapyard," Kaylee muttered at one point. "She's just...lived in, that's all."
"She's a fine ship, meimei, " Inara said. "We all know that."
Kaylee nodded, but she gave Inara a strange look, not seeming at all comforted. She got up and cleared her place, saying, "Thanks, Shepherd, that was awful good," as she dumped the dishes in the sink. When she hurried off to the engine room, Simon excused himself just as quickly and followed after her.
No one else took much notice, although Wash looked a bit perturbed. "A job worth doing is worth doing well," River suddenly announced in the momentary quiet.
"Like hell," Jayne muttered, reaching for second helpings.
"Of course it is, sweetheart," said Book.
River flicked a crumb in Jayne's direction. "Cheating at cards is bad. But gambling is good!"
Zoe stood up, clearing her things and Wash's all at once. "Sooner we finish, the sooner the captain'll settle down. Everybody bring their lists and notes to supper, that'll keep him happy, and we can finish up in the morning."
"I'll tell Kaylee and Simon," Wash said, giving his wife a peck on the cheek. "I promised Kaylee I'd give her a hand back there after we ate."
Jayne snorted. "Betcha Simon's already doin' that."
As Wash departed, shaking his head, Zoe pointed a fork at Jayne. "Cargo bay," she said evenly. "Now."
He left without protest, grinning lewdly. Zoe followed a few seconds later, after thanking Book for the meal.
Inara was almost glad to see them go, relieved that everyone had their own business to mind, but also getting a little anxious about Mal. Who knew what state she would find him in--if she could find him. He knew all the best hiding places on Serenity.
Book had taken a stack of dishes to the sink. Only River was left, watching Inara from across the table, smiling with the same cheerfulness she had shown earlier.
Smiling back tentatively, Inara tried to empty her mind of all thoughts, suddenly certain River knew all about what had happened the night before. Oh please, dear child, she begged silently, don't say a word...
River leaned over and patted her hand. "Let the light shine in the dark," was all she said. She stood, gathering up bowls and utensils and handing them over the counter to Book
Strangely comforted, Inara also got up, ready to pass her own plate. The Shepherd waved her off. "We'll manage."
"Thank you," she said, wishing there had been something stronger than cider to drink with the meal. At least this trial was over, although as she left the galley she knew there might be far worse to face once she found Mal.
***
Serenity was a fine ship, but she could fool you. The old girl had her secrets, her hidden assets. You could think you knew her, then find yourself surprised by what she had and what she could do.
What Inara didn't know about the ship usually didn't bother her. It had been better to be without knowledge of certain things. Better for her own safety, and the well-being and security of the crew. That would change now, as other things changed. Yet there were some secrets she had been let in on, for the same reasons.
Wash had given her the "grand tour" shortly after she'd signed the rental agreement with Mal and moved in. The happy-go-lucky pilot had been her first friend aboard Serenity, even before her meimei Kaylee. Mal had set him the task of making sure Inara knew as much about piloting and navigation as she said she did--partly because he didn't quite believe her, but mostly because he didn't have the same expertise as Wash did to be any judge of her abilities.
So there were tough questions and ready answers, followed by an exhilarating, challenging test flight, after which the pilot and the Companion had bonded as easy equals. Zoe had read her husband's admiration for what it was, and accepted Inara's presence on the ship without any jealousy, though she seemed to share her captain's initial concerns over how well this deal would actually serve them. Mal, on the other hand, was so obviously puzzled by their instant friendship that it was almost funny. It left him even more wary of Inara than he had seemed on their first meeting, something which took him a long time to get over.
Therefore it had been Wash who helped her get acquainted with the ship's layout, her little quirks and most of her secrets. Wash was the one who saw how quickly she had fallen in love with Serenity. He showed her most of the nooks and crannies they used for storage, but not all the ones used for stashing illicit goods. He taught her the fastest ways to get around the ship in an emergency, and comm codes they used in tricky situations. "Mal may not like you knowing some of this stuff, but I think you should," he had admitted to her at one point. "So we'll just keep it our little secret."
It was most likely Mal still didn't know how much Inara knew about his ship. For instance, she knew there was a hidden door in the storage area behind the infirmary, which concealed a seldom-used room.
Which was where she found him not long after after lunch, guided by instinct to search deep inside Serenity before looking anywhere else. She'd taken great care not to be seen by the rest of the crew.
Inara went down the access steps quietly. The usually hidden annex was open to view, and she took a moment to observe her lover, sitting on one small storage crate, methodically sorting through the contents of another. At first glance he appeared untroubled, but she recognized the rigid set of his shoulders and the distant expression which meant he wasn't in a talking mood.
It didn't matter. They needed to settle their disagreement, so she took the last step down firmly enough to be heard.
Mal glanced up, and although his eyes narrowed slightly, he seemed unsurprised to see her. "So," he said slowly, "River decided to rat me out?"
"River?" Had the girl known all along where the captain was hiding? Inara shook her head. "I tracked you down myself."
He frowned. "You been in here before?"
"Once, ages ago. With Wash."
"Oh." He nodded briefly, acknowledging the distant memory. "Something I can do for you?" he asked tersely, pulling another dusty object out of the open crate and turning it over in his hands.
She gathered her skirt carefully and sat on a nearby box, trying not to be mindful of any grime. "You've got everyone in quite a state," she said mildly, resting her arms on her knees. "I think I actually heard the word 'mutiny' pass Wash's lips."
"Oh yeah, that's real funny," he muttered, not looking at her. "Ain't my fault if nobody was in the mood for some actual work. It was something that needed to be done. 'Sides, I got the idea from you."
"Oh, yes?" She sat up straight in righteous indignation. "So then it's my fault your crew is unhappy."
He shot an angry look of his own at her. "You come down here just to give me grief?"
Inara stood up quickly, stung by his resentful tone. "No," she retorted, trying not to lose her temper. This wasn't supposed to turn into another fight. She took a deep breath, praying for patience. "I came down here to apologize for what happened this morning," she told him, barely managing to keep a tremor out of her voice.
Mal sat perfectly still, just staring at her, his face gone blank.
She hated that--when he closed himself off and wouldn't respond. It made her feel helpless, unable to react herself. But she had to--she had say to something, anything, to make him understand it wasn't right to shut her out like that anymore.
"But since you're obviously not in the mood to accept an apology," she said with as much dignity as she could, "I'll save it for when you are." With all the quiet grace her years of training and practice had given her, she turned away from him and started for the stairs.
"Inara."
Wode tian. She had absolutely no willpower when he said her name that way. With a sigh, she turned around. "What?"
He had put down whatever he'd been holding, and was sitting with his hands clasped together, his head bowed. "You ain't the one who needs to be apologizin' here," he said softly. "You made a kind and generous offer, and I took it the wrong way. I'm sorry."
He lifted his head to finally look at her. The depth of the remorse on his face and the love in his eyes made her heart turn over. "Mal..." She crossed the empty space between them, stopping a few steps away. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have been quite so...insistent about it."
Mal slowly got to his feet, brushing his hands against his pant legs, and smiled ruefully. "We do have an unfortunate tendency to set each other off, don't we?" He closed the gap and held a hand out to her.
Filled with relief, Inara took it and let him embrace her. "We're both too stubborn for our own good," she admitted, resting her head against his shoulder. She knew without a doubt this was far from the last of such disputes, and could only hope they would soon learn how to settle them more smoothly.
"That is a fact," Mal agreed as he secured one arm around her waist. "Truth is, you had the right of it, Inara. Having that money as insurance is a blessing, and one less burden on my mind--although they do keep addin' up," he said with a long-suffering sigh.
She raised her head. "What? What's happened?"
"Had myself a little chat with River a while ago."
"Oh." It was hardly a surprise, given her own suspicions during lunch, but it was still discomfiting news. "She knows."
Mal nodded. "That she does. She seemed mighty taken with the idea, too," he added with a crooked smile. "But we managed to come to an understanding--she knows it's our secret, and she'll keep it as long as we do."
It was another disturbing thought. She leaned back against him for comfort. "And how long will that be, Mal? It doesn't seem right, keeping it from the others. But part of me still wants to. It's--" she struggled to express what she was feeling--"special. Just us. I don't want to share it yet."
"Then we won't," he said resolutely, brushing a kiss across her hair. "Not until we're ready." He let out a soft chuckle. "Time will come, for the telling."
"What?"
"Just something little sister said. Girl gets under your skin in the damnedest ways."
"Poor child," Inara sighed. "I hope you weren't too angry with her."
"I am proud to say I held my temper in check. Mostly. She's not half as provokin' as you can be."
Even if he hadn't been smirking, she would have known he was teasing. Mostly. "Well, you would be the expert on provoking people," she said with a deceptively sweet smile.
His amused expression faded. "Is that a fact?" he asked, suddenly moving his hands to hold her by the hips close against his body, firm and insistent. He bent his head to hers, brushing his lips along her jaw up to her ear. "Am I provoking you right now?" he whispered.
He was, in the worst--no, in the best way possible, making her almost dizzy with desire. A flash of heat suffused her from head to toe, and she knew he had to feel it, knew what he was doing to her with hardly any effort at all. "Mal, please--" What was she going to do--tell him stop, or beg him not to?
"What?" Keeping her pressed to him with one strong hand, he used the other to tilt her face up, and grinned knowingly. "We had a fight. Don't we get to kiss and make up?"
"Y-yes," she stammered, wanting nothing more than to kiss him quite thoroughly. "But--not here! What if someone--"
"Uh-uh." He put a finger to her lips, his expression growing pensive. "You just shush a minute and listen. River had somethin' else to say to me. Said what you and I were doing was all about taking a risk, and that it was well worth the price."
He gazed at her intently. "You like taking risks, Inara--I saw that right off the day we met. You got a healthy respect for our dangerous life out here. And you don't much mind living on the edge, otherwise you'd've left this boat long ago."
The sharp truth of his words held her mesmerized, and underscored one of River's cryptic remarks. "Gambling is good," Inara murmured.
For an instant, Mal seemed confused. Then he caressed her face with a tenderness at odds with the fierce look in his eyes. "Yeah, you took one hell of a gamble--you stayed. And last night woulda never happened if you didn't fully comprehend the risk involved." His voice dropped to a near whisper. "You knew exactly how dangerous it was to fall in love with a man like me."
"Yes, I did." Heaven help her, she knew it all too well.
He nodded. "There's something else I gotta be sure you comprehend. I can't--I can't let myself be worrying about you more than anyone else. That's the way it should be, but I can't let it. You know the kind of decisions I've had to make, the sort of things I do to keep Serenity flying.
"I know what you think of some of those choices--we have had words over more than enough of 'em. There'll be plenty more such words spoken between us, I suspect. Just so long as you understand--I do love you, but my ship and my crew are almost always gonna come first."
She knew it hurt him to say that as much as it did for her to hear it. "I--I do understand, Mal. I think--you took a bigger risk than I did, looking past your prejudice and pride to see me as a real person. I can try to give up what I was, but I know some things can't change. You'll never stop being a captain, a leader. You can't give up this life, with all the risks and dangers it holds. I wouldn't want you to. And now..." She took his face in her hands and kissed him fervently. "I don't think I can ever give it up, either."
He tightened his hold on her and kissed her back with equal ardor. "You know we might be paying a price just about every damn day?"
"Yes," she whispered, clinging to him. Always living on the edge, one step away from the brink...she had made the choice with her eyes open.
"Then we best try to make every day worth it." Without warning, he lifted her off her feet just long enough to carry her deeper into the shadows of the annex, out of sight of anyone who might happen to wander by. The thrilling quickness of it took her breath away. He set her down carefully, backed up to the wall, his hands braced on either side of her body.
"Mal!" she protested, but it didn't come out nearly as scandalized as she intended.
He stood firm and gave her a challenging look. "Oh, yeah, you sound all kinds of upset with me. You wanna try that again?"
It was as if he wanted to prove they could still play each other, but with different, higher stakes. She was more than willing to play by new rules. "Only if you try something first," she dared him, reaching out to grasp his hips and pull him closer.
"Anything to oblige a lady," he replied. He bent down and started kissing her way hungrily along her face, down to her throat.
She let her hands drift upwards, stroking his back, and arched her body against him.
With a sharp intake of breath, he drew back and looked down at her. "I'm not hearing any complaints," he drawled.
"Where would you like me to start?" she asked prettily. "You're a terrible person." She slipped her hands inside the top of his pants and began tugging at his shirt. He bent his head again, nuzzling his lips against her neck.
"You're stubborn..." Her fingers reached bare skin and she ran her nails lightly along his ribs. Mal languorously kissed his way up to her face, as his hands slowly slid down from her hips and along her thighs.
"And--and arrogant..." She closed her eyes, lost in the way his touch made her shiver all over, even as it turned her blood to liquid fire.
"Seems like I've heard all that before," he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. "Maybe I oughta give you somethin' new to whinge about." Suddenly his hands dipped lower, gripping the fabric of her skirt and pulling it upwards.
Her eyes flew open as she realized with a start he was no longer playing. There was about to be something more than just kissing and making up happening in this tiny corner of Serenity. Mal intended to have her right up against this wall--and she was going to let him.
Because it was dangerous, the way they both liked it.
"And you--" She tried to catch her breath, as she dug her nails into his skin just hard enough to get his attention. He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, a silent question on his face. "You always have to have your own way."
One corner of his mouth curved up wickedly. "Who's captain of this boat?"
She dropped her hands to his belt and slowly unbuckled it. "You are, Mal," she said with feigned meekness.
He grinned, not at all fooled. "Captains can do whatever they please. And right now--" he hitched her skirt up higher--"it pleases me..." His fingers slid under the skirt to stroke the inside of her thighs. Inara set hers to work unbuttoning his pants.
"To do this..." Mal finished breathlessly, taking her mouth with his in a searing kiss as he cupped his hands across the back of her hips, lifting her off her feet.
And it was all kinds of pleasing.
******