You give and take away ...
Sometimes life really makes me laugh! Tonight while being bored as humanly possible Chris got online and I ended up talking to him for a short time. He asked if he could call me, to which I responded "I guess, if you want" not understanding what he would even have to talk about other than the regular small talk most people discuss. He called and I found myself really not even wanted to talk to him at all. Everything he had to say I found uninteresting ...I mean, so uninteresting I didn't even bother to ask him any questions cuz I just really didn't care! It just makes me laugh! It's things like this that me believe in a higher power. I honestly believe that everything that happens to me is in God's plan and no matter what it is that happens, it's for the better. This is proof! Had I not become friends with Ellin I never would have gone to that fateful August TEC agape and closing ...had I not done that I never would have signed up for November TEC (cuz I had swore a year and half earlier that I would NEVER work again) ...and had I not worked November TEC I never would have met Jason and I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Because of him I'm happier, I have a stronger faith, and I believe in people (and myself) again. We were talking the other night about some things and I had said that I have never, in all my life, met someone who believed in me and stood by me the way that he does ...and he told me that never in his life has he believed in and stood by someone the way he does with me. (please allow a ::sigh:: and a moment of sweet reflection..............................ok back to my thoughts) I think about people around me and it's even more apparent that everything happens for a reason, especially when the things that happen revolve around love, of any kind. Any hardships and rough times we have, it happens for a reason and one day SOMETHING good will come of it ...you just have to believe. You don't have to believe in God to believe that things happen for a reason and for the better ...that's just how things work for me. Anyways, in this case with Chris and Jason, I definately believe there is a purpose for everything and I'm right where I need to be. The best part, in this case I got (and continue to get) a good laugh out of the whole ordeal. Sure, the little things that happened last November between Chris and Jason (if you don't already know, you should ask me cuz it's really quite hilarious!) didn't have some HUGE life change in store for me, but the changes and the outcomes from those events were definately in my favor! I was just talking to Jason and I was telling him how much I missed him since it's been since Sunday since I've seen him last, and he said he doesn't understand how I can miss him so much when he doesn't feel like he's been as good of a boyfriend as he should be ...but he doesn't understand that he has been ...and it's been BETTER than I ever could have expected and asked for. If John Eldrege is right then we'll be alright through what is thrown our way cuz even though you don't understand why, to me you ARE good enough and you ARE needed and even though I don't understand it, to you I AM beautiful and I AM captivating. Who'da thunk it?! Meanwhile I'm off to laugh. Laughter is a beatiful thing ...it's a great thing ...it's God-given thing ...and I'm gunna enjoy it!