Optimistic to a Fault-Chapter Sixteen
A/N: So, I need no real introduction to this Chapter. Haha. So, I'll just say, enjoy. Haha. :)
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Chapter Sixteen
August 15th, 2009
Standing there in front of the door of that tour bus, my fist raised to knock; I couldn’t help but wonder if I should just walk away. Who said that he even wanted to see me again anyway?
He’s the one who had just suddenly stopped contacting me. It was like after he’d won Idol, once he’d gotten his own band, his own tour, and after Adam had gotten worse, he didn’t want anything to do with me. Apparently I was no longer important to him. I tightened my fists and I felt my nails digging into the soft flesh of my hands. I concentrated hard on the slight pain it was causing me, trying to keep back the waterfall of tears that was threatening to spill down my cheeks.
If I was going to do this, there was no way I was going to let him see me cry. If he didn’t need me, I didn’t need him. I chuckled darkly at my own thought. That had to be the furthest thing from the truth. Saying that I didn’t need David Cook in my life was the biggest lie that there was. He was my everything, the reason that I wanted to get up every morning.
I mean, after you’ve been through so much with a person, know them practically their whole life, hold them when they cry, been there with them through the good times and the bad ones, falling in love with them, it’s kind of hard not to care about them so much that it hurts and surely, after all of that, you wouldn’t be able to let go so easily, but, it seemed, that’s what he was doing, letting go, and he didn’t act like it was very hard.
I’m pretty sure that you’re wondering why I was there if he was pushing me away. To be honest, I wasn’t sure myself, but when I’d won those backstage passes, I kind of saw it as a sign, one that was telling me that I had to see David again and that our relationship wasn’t going to end this way, not after everything that we’d been through together.
So, I brought my fist down upon the door and gave a short, quick knock and I waited.
I heard some rustling from inside the tour bus and the door swung open to reveal David.
My heartbeat quickened. I wanted to smile upon seeing him but I wasn’t able. On top of being extremely sweaty, he had tears streaming down his beautiful face. I wanted nothing more than to reach up and wipe them away. I hated seeing him like this.
After looking a little closer, I noticed that he had bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. I felt my already shattered heart break even more.
“Mi?” he questioned. He was trying to make it sound like he didn’t care. But, his voice was hoarse and far from being distant.
“I came to see you,” I said simply, feeling a tears fall from my eye and stroll shamelessly down my cheek.
“Why?” he asked. There was that voice again; the one where he was trying to pretend that he didn’t care. But I knew him to well to fall for it.
He couldn’t lie to me. But, the fact that we was trying made me angrier than I already was. My tears were coming faster and it felt as if they were never going to stop.
“Because I freaking miss you, okay?!” I exclaimed. “Do you even know what you’ve put me through, David, do you? Do you understand how lost that I’ve been without you? Do you know how stupid that you’ve been? Don’t you know how much I need you in my life? You’ve been there for longer than I can remember, Dave. I’ve known you since I was born! We’ve been through so much together. How could you even attempt to throw that away? And over something so stupid, foolish and childish as this. You pushed away everyone that you care about when Adam would’ve wanted you to keep them closer than ever! And you, you promised me that would be there for me no matter what! And you weren’t! You lied to me! You lied to me, David. You just…just…disappeared. You won’t answer any of my calls or e-mails, you’ve added more tour dates just to avoid coming home when we’re all fucking worried sick about you! And I’m home alone, in our house, David, missing you, crying every night, my heart breaking more with every tear that comes, all because you’re not there. You’re not even speaking to me, and I miss you! You thought that you were hurting me by just going on tour and leaving me behind? That’s nothing compared to not having you in my life at all is a hell of a lot worse, David! How can you ignore me so easily? After everything that we’ve been through together? So, much of my life I’ve shared with you, and you with me. So many of our first were together; our first day of school, our first kiss at that party in the sixth grade, our first love, our first time. David, you were my first for all of that, and I want you to be my only, forever. I don’t want to share my life with anyone but you. You’ve always been in my life and I never want to be without you. I’ve had a crush on you since I was like, five, Dave, and I’ve only grown to love you more and more every day of my life. When we were engaged, you will never be able to understand how happy that I was. It was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. You had promised me that we really were going to be together forever. I just…just…don’t understand why you’re avoiding me, how you’re avoiding me. I thought that you loved me. I thought that you wanted to marry me. And then, then, you just stop contacting me completely. I don’t understand how you can do it. I miss you, David. So much, and I’m fucking sick of you not talking to me. I love you, and I just want you in my life. I’m so sick of you deciding what’s best for me, when you don’t realize what’s best for me it you.”
I broke down completely then, unable to say anything, my knees about to give out, and then, I felt David’s arms around me suddenly, holding me against him. It felt so good to be in his arms again that I started crying harder, unable to process my emotions.
“I’m so sorry, Mi,” he said, stroking my hair, as I felt tears hitting the top of my head. “I didn’t know that I meant so much to you. I really thought that leaving you was what was best for you, and I’m so damn stubbron that I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me otherwise. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you so much. I really didn’t. I mean, you mean so much to me. I just wanted you to be happy.”
“Why couldn’t you see that I was happy when I was with you?” I asked through my sobs. I was shaking uncontrollably, almost hyperventilating.
“Mi, love,” he whispered gently. “You really need to calm down.”
He kissed my forehead softly, rubbing my back, and whispering comforting words into my ear, and my body relaxed, almost melting into his. It felt so right to be in his arms again.
Finally, my tears stopped, and I looked up at him, examining his perfect lips, wanting nothing more than for them to be on mine.
He grinned at me before pressing his lips against my own. I smiled and instantly tangled my hands into his hair.
He smiled against my lips, and picked me up, cradling me bridal style, and carried me onto the tour bus.
The door slammed behind us, he sat me down, never breaking our kiss.
He pushed me against the wall, the kiss becoming more passionate, more heated. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer, loving the feeling of his body against my own.
He attacked my neck with his kisses and the feeling of his scruff against my skin, made me want him more than I already did.
We began stripping each other of clothing, wasting no time at all. He pulled me over to the bunks and we climbed onto the first one on the bottom.
“This one’s yours?” I asked as David began to place kisses anywhere that he could reach.
“No,” he whispered breathlessly. “It’s Kyle’s. I just can’t wait any longer.”
I giggled and pulled him down onto me, glad to have him back again.
***
August 16th, 2009
I awoke that morning to the sun shining through the moving tour bus’s window, but, that wasn’t what had woken me. I heard yelling, and laughter.
“Dude! What the hell? Why on my bunk? What in the bloody hell possessed you to make love to your girlfriend on my bunk? What in the fuck did I ever do to you? I can never sleep there again!” I heard Kyle exclaimed.
I sat up so that I could see what was going on. I was surprised to see Kyle and David standing, facing each other. Kyle looked completely pissed, while David looked extremely amused.
David laughed and I looked at him closer. He was standing in nothing but his boxers. I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s not fucking funny!” Kyle exclaimed.
“I think that it is!” Neal managed to say through his laughter.
“You would say that!” Kyle exclaimed. “They didn’t fuck on your bed!”
“I know!” Neal exclaimed, still laughing. “They fucked on yours!”
“Shut up, Neal!” Kyle exclaimed, and then he turned back to David. “Why, David? Why?”
“Well, I couldn’t wait to get to my bunk on the top,” David said, a grin never leaving his face.
Neal laughed harder and off of his bunk on top, into the floor, his laughter never ceasing, and we all ignored him.
“That is wrong, dude! That is really fucking wrong! Whatever!” Kyle exclaimed. He stormed off to what he considered a corner, put in his iPod, and said nothing else.
David chuckled and turned around. He smiled when he saw I was awake.
“Good morning,” he said. “Do you need to borrow some clothes?”
“Please,” I said.
Once I was dressed in one of David’s plaid shirts, and a pair of his pants held up by a belt, we sat down to talk.
“So,” I said. “Where does this leave us now?”
“Well,” he said. “Do you still have that ring that I gave you?”
I smiled at him. I couldn’t believe that he even had to ask me. I held up my hand to him, showing him that I still had the ring. I had never taken it off. Even though he had said it was over, I never truly believed him.
“Yes,” I said. I was smiling as if he had proposed to me all over again.
The light shining in from the window came down on the diamond, causing it to shine beautifully in the sunshine. It made my heart flutter.
“Well,” he said. “I think you know where this leaves us then.”
And then, I kissed him, happy for the first time in a long time.
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A/N: So, that was Chapter 16. I hope you liked it. The only thing left now is Chapter 17 and the Epilogue. :) They'll be up at the same time.
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Chapter Sixteen
August 15th, 2009
Standing there in front of the door of that tour bus, my fist raised to knock; I couldn’t help but wonder if I should just walk away. Who said that he even wanted to see me again anyway?
He’s the one who had just suddenly stopped contacting me. It was like after he’d won Idol, once he’d gotten his own band, his own tour, and after Adam had gotten worse, he didn’t want anything to do with me. Apparently I was no longer important to him. I tightened my fists and I felt my nails digging into the soft flesh of my hands. I concentrated hard on the slight pain it was causing me, trying to keep back the waterfall of tears that was threatening to spill down my cheeks.
If I was going to do this, there was no way I was going to let him see me cry. If he didn’t need me, I didn’t need him. I chuckled darkly at my own thought. That had to be the furthest thing from the truth. Saying that I didn’t need David Cook in my life was the biggest lie that there was. He was my everything, the reason that I wanted to get up every morning.
I mean, after you’ve been through so much with a person, know them practically their whole life, hold them when they cry, been there with them through the good times and the bad ones, falling in love with them, it’s kind of hard not to care about them so much that it hurts and surely, after all of that, you wouldn’t be able to let go so easily, but, it seemed, that’s what he was doing, letting go, and he didn’t act like it was very hard.
I’m pretty sure that you’re wondering why I was there if he was pushing me away. To be honest, I wasn’t sure myself, but when I’d won those backstage passes, I kind of saw it as a sign, one that was telling me that I had to see David again and that our relationship wasn’t going to end this way, not after everything that we’d been through together.
So, I brought my fist down upon the door and gave a short, quick knock and I waited.
I heard some rustling from inside the tour bus and the door swung open to reveal David.
My heartbeat quickened. I wanted to smile upon seeing him but I wasn’t able. On top of being extremely sweaty, he had tears streaming down his beautiful face. I wanted nothing more than to reach up and wipe them away. I hated seeing him like this.
After looking a little closer, I noticed that he had bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. I felt my already shattered heart break even more.
“Mi?” he questioned. He was trying to make it sound like he didn’t care. But, his voice was hoarse and far from being distant.
“I came to see you,” I said simply, feeling a tears fall from my eye and stroll shamelessly down my cheek.
“Why?” he asked. There was that voice again; the one where he was trying to pretend that he didn’t care. But I knew him to well to fall for it.
He couldn’t lie to me. But, the fact that we was trying made me angrier than I already was. My tears were coming faster and it felt as if they were never going to stop.
“Because I freaking miss you, okay?!” I exclaimed. “Do you even know what you’ve put me through, David, do you? Do you understand how lost that I’ve been without you? Do you know how stupid that you’ve been? Don’t you know how much I need you in my life? You’ve been there for longer than I can remember, Dave. I’ve known you since I was born! We’ve been through so much together. How could you even attempt to throw that away? And over something so stupid, foolish and childish as this. You pushed away everyone that you care about when Adam would’ve wanted you to keep them closer than ever! And you, you promised me that would be there for me no matter what! And you weren’t! You lied to me! You lied to me, David. You just…just…disappeared. You won’t answer any of my calls or e-mails, you’ve added more tour dates just to avoid coming home when we’re all fucking worried sick about you! And I’m home alone, in our house, David, missing you, crying every night, my heart breaking more with every tear that comes, all because you’re not there. You’re not even speaking to me, and I miss you! You thought that you were hurting me by just going on tour and leaving me behind? That’s nothing compared to not having you in my life at all is a hell of a lot worse, David! How can you ignore me so easily? After everything that we’ve been through together? So, much of my life I’ve shared with you, and you with me. So many of our first were together; our first day of school, our first kiss at that party in the sixth grade, our first love, our first time. David, you were my first for all of that, and I want you to be my only, forever. I don’t want to share my life with anyone but you. You’ve always been in my life and I never want to be without you. I’ve had a crush on you since I was like, five, Dave, and I’ve only grown to love you more and more every day of my life. When we were engaged, you will never be able to understand how happy that I was. It was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. You had promised me that we really were going to be together forever. I just…just…don’t understand why you’re avoiding me, how you’re avoiding me. I thought that you loved me. I thought that you wanted to marry me. And then, then, you just stop contacting me completely. I don’t understand how you can do it. I miss you, David. So much, and I’m fucking sick of you not talking to me. I love you, and I just want you in my life. I’m so sick of you deciding what’s best for me, when you don’t realize what’s best for me it you.”
I broke down completely then, unable to say anything, my knees about to give out, and then, I felt David’s arms around me suddenly, holding me against him. It felt so good to be in his arms again that I started crying harder, unable to process my emotions.
“I’m so sorry, Mi,” he said, stroking my hair, as I felt tears hitting the top of my head. “I didn’t know that I meant so much to you. I really thought that leaving you was what was best for you, and I’m so damn stubbron that I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me otherwise. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you so much. I really didn’t. I mean, you mean so much to me. I just wanted you to be happy.”
“Why couldn’t you see that I was happy when I was with you?” I asked through my sobs. I was shaking uncontrollably, almost hyperventilating.
“Mi, love,” he whispered gently. “You really need to calm down.”
He kissed my forehead softly, rubbing my back, and whispering comforting words into my ear, and my body relaxed, almost melting into his. It felt so right to be in his arms again.
Finally, my tears stopped, and I looked up at him, examining his perfect lips, wanting nothing more than for them to be on mine.
He grinned at me before pressing his lips against my own. I smiled and instantly tangled my hands into his hair.
He smiled against my lips, and picked me up, cradling me bridal style, and carried me onto the tour bus.
The door slammed behind us, he sat me down, never breaking our kiss.
He pushed me against the wall, the kiss becoming more passionate, more heated. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer, loving the feeling of his body against my own.
He attacked my neck with his kisses and the feeling of his scruff against my skin, made me want him more than I already did.
We began stripping each other of clothing, wasting no time at all. He pulled me over to the bunks and we climbed onto the first one on the bottom.
“This one’s yours?” I asked as David began to place kisses anywhere that he could reach.
“No,” he whispered breathlessly. “It’s Kyle’s. I just can’t wait any longer.”
I giggled and pulled him down onto me, glad to have him back again.
***
August 16th, 2009
I awoke that morning to the sun shining through the moving tour bus’s window, but, that wasn’t what had woken me. I heard yelling, and laughter.
“Dude! What the hell? Why on my bunk? What in the bloody hell possessed you to make love to your girlfriend on my bunk? What in the fuck did I ever do to you? I can never sleep there again!” I heard Kyle exclaimed.
I sat up so that I could see what was going on. I was surprised to see Kyle and David standing, facing each other. Kyle looked completely pissed, while David looked extremely amused.
David laughed and I looked at him closer. He was standing in nothing but his boxers. I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s not fucking funny!” Kyle exclaimed.
“I think that it is!” Neal managed to say through his laughter.
“You would say that!” Kyle exclaimed. “They didn’t fuck on your bed!”
“I know!” Neal exclaimed, still laughing. “They fucked on yours!”
“Shut up, Neal!” Kyle exclaimed, and then he turned back to David. “Why, David? Why?”
“Well, I couldn’t wait to get to my bunk on the top,” David said, a grin never leaving his face.
Neal laughed harder and off of his bunk on top, into the floor, his laughter never ceasing, and we all ignored him.
“That is wrong, dude! That is really fucking wrong! Whatever!” Kyle exclaimed. He stormed off to what he considered a corner, put in his iPod, and said nothing else.
David chuckled and turned around. He smiled when he saw I was awake.
“Good morning,” he said. “Do you need to borrow some clothes?”
“Please,” I said.
Once I was dressed in one of David’s plaid shirts, and a pair of his pants held up by a belt, we sat down to talk.
“So,” I said. “Where does this leave us now?”
“Well,” he said. “Do you still have that ring that I gave you?”
I smiled at him. I couldn’t believe that he even had to ask me. I held up my hand to him, showing him that I still had the ring. I had never taken it off. Even though he had said it was over, I never truly believed him.
“Yes,” I said. I was smiling as if he had proposed to me all over again.
The light shining in from the window came down on the diamond, causing it to shine beautifully in the sunshine. It made my heart flutter.
“Well,” he said. “I think you know where this leaves us then.”
And then, I kissed him, happy for the first time in a long time.
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A/N: So, that was Chapter 16. I hope you liked it. The only thing left now is Chapter 17 and the Epilogue. :) They'll be up at the same time.