FAIL!FIC FRIDAY!!
Title: Torture, Vestiphobia, & Falsetto, Oh My~
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: OT5
Summary: Fail!sex with TVXQ.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction depicted about real people, I own none of them.
A/N: soo... anyone remember this post? the first part is dialogue only, so use your imagination lovies!! the last two are (i hope) pretty much self explainatory~ this is my first FAIL!FIC for FAIL!FIC FRIDAY at our beloved comm, it's been a long time comin, but i hope you still enjoy! i really hope i did these words justice~
&& much love to my wonderful beta miri91 i♥u bb!!
A/N 2: these are three different pieces, the first is meant from the view of someone listening in on an ot5 moment, you can't see them, they can't see you. idk if that will help it be less confusing when you read it though~ the other two happen anywhere you'd like them to.
_______________________________________________
Torture
Somewhere in a dark room you can't see, you hear:
“Hyung! Your foot does not go there!”
“Hey! Watch your elbow you crazy ass over eager nutcase!”
“Yunja-yah! As much as I love you, baby, I’m gonna have to say no.”
“But Boojae-“
“No butts hyung, unless it’s yours on my lap.”
“Mmm~ Changmin. I’d take you up on that offer.”
“Yoochun?.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I hate to say it, but your ‘quote-unquote’ “bedroom voice, that could slay the world into spontaneous orgasms” just got nasty. In a really bad way.”
“Is that the good bad?”
“No. That’s the bad bad Junsu.”
“Thanks Yunho.”
“You’re welcome bouncy~”
*laughter*
“Oh my God, *snort* that- *laughing* that is really, and I mean really bad!”
“That’s okay Yunho, Yoochun sucks at his bedroom voice-“
“Save for when we’re not in the bedroom.”
“Hey!”
“And you suck at dirty talk. But me, I’m an all around sex magnet.”
*louder outburst of laughter*
“*laughing* Junsu-yah, *laughing* your naiveté beats out Yunho’s awful dirty talk any day!”
“Changmin.”
“Yeah?”
“How quickly you forget your faults.”
“My faults? I wasn’t aware that I had any.”
“Wow Minnie-ah. And you said I was naive.”
“What do you mean? I’m a knock-out in bed.”
“That you are dongsaeng. But you are loud. As. Fuck.”
“Yeah, he’s quiet onscreen so often. But you’d never imagine he’d be as loud as he is in bed.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“But of course you wouldn’t notice Junsu. You like loud.”
“No more than you do Yoochun~”
“Ouch! Not so hard!”
“Sorry, sorry. I never would have guessed you’d be so fickle with ropes. You being tied to a wall and everything.”
“That was a onetime deal. Never again.”
“At least not on live t.v.”
“Well said Yoochun-ah. Well said.”
“Yeah, there is a lot we’d never let get caught on tape.”
“Most certainly not. We’d be dead meat if all this got out. You saw how they reacted to my story on Yashimanman. And that was only watching porn.”
“They’d have a cow if they found out we actually did all this stuff. Let alone all of us together.”
*silence*
“Wait a minute.”
“What is it?”
“Where’s JaeJae and his phone?”
This was the day all hell broke loose.
_________________________________________________________________
Vestiphobia
There was moaning, “Oh fuck!” and groaning, “Nng~”. And something that did not fit.
“Hey Changminnie?” Junsu had stopped.
“Yeah?” Why the hell had Junsu stopped?
“I think I’ve figured something out.” He said raising up to rest his head in his hands.
And the worse part was, he was serious. My God! Doesn’t he realize we are in the middle of something?
“Do you really need to point it out now?” Of all times for him to come up with some great idea, it had to be now.
“I’ve figured out what Jaejoong has.”
There was an arch of an eyebrow. “What do you mean what Jae has?” I swear on my deathbed if I’ve caught something, I’ll kill him!
A bit exasperated, he explained. “It’s something called vestiphobia.”
“Vestiphobia?” He said raising up on his elbows.
“Yeah, vestiphobia.”
“And what exactly is that?”
“The fear of clothes.”
There was silence for about 2.5 seconds. “What?”
“Yeah, it’s why he always wears so little clothes.”
The silence was deafening.
“Do you think it’s contagious?” Junsu was a little nervous, he was sure he’d caught it.
“If by contagious you mean -let’s see who can take off the most amount of clothing until our fans spontaneously combust- then yes. It’s contagious, and you have most definitely caught it.” Changmin said nodding his head.
“Well, I guess it’s not all that bad. You enjoy it right?”
With a look of contemplation. “I do. And you could be onto something. But right now, you should be on something else.” Changmin said with a pointed look southward.
“Oh yeah?” Junsu said with a sly grin.
“Yeah.”
_____________________________________________________________________
Falsetto
“Hey. Whatcha up to?”
“Nothing Yunho, just-”
“Plotting?” He said with eyebrow raised.
Changmin sighed. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that.” He turned his gaze back to the pen and paper he was working with.
“So what exactly is-” Yunho was cut off.
“Did you know that if you got Jaejoong worked up enough, he’ll come in falsetto?” He said it with ease as if it were an everyday occurrence.
And with him, it just might be.
“What? How do you know that?” He said eyes narrowing, completely perplexed. Just when had he found this out, and where the hell was I when he did?
“It was just one day when Yoochun and I were home, -you and Junsu were out- we wanted to see how many toys Jaejoong could take, and what would happen when he couldn’t take any more. That’s when we found out.” The entire time he said this, he kept on writing.
“Oh. But what is the list for?” He said leaning over to read it.
“I’m trying to see how many toys I can list, there are so many we haven’t tried.”
Yunho leaned a little bit more until he had a full view of the page.
Bad Boy Red
Prostate Pro 5.2
Tweezer Style Nipple Clamps and Cock Ring
Wallbanger Vibrating Pump
Yunho leaned back from the list, there were so many more he didn’t look at, but they all looked very promising. “You call Yoochun to pick up the stuff, then go set up the room, and I’ll make up a reason for Jae to follow me there. Sound like a plan?” He said as he began to stand.
“They say great minds think alike, I’m beginning to think they were right.”
____________________________________________________________
A/N: so... whadayathink??
let me know, and don't go easy. if i failed (the bad kind) let me know so i can improve, that way the next time i attempt this i wont make your eyes bleed.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: OT5
Summary: Fail!sex with TVXQ.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction depicted about real people, I own none of them.
A/N: soo... anyone remember this post? the first part is dialogue only, so use your imagination lovies!! the last two are (i hope) pretty much self explainatory~ this is my first FAIL!FIC for FAIL!FIC FRIDAY at our beloved comm, it's been a long time comin, but i hope you still enjoy! i really hope i did these words justice~
&& much love to my wonderful beta miri91 i♥u bb!!
A/N 2: these are three different pieces, the first is meant from the view of someone listening in on an ot5 moment, you can't see them, they can't see you. idk if that will help it be less confusing when you read it though~ the other two happen anywhere you'd like them to.
_______________________________________________
Torture
Somewhere in a dark room you can't see, you hear:
“Hyung! Your foot does not go there!”
“Hey! Watch your elbow you crazy ass over eager nutcase!”
“Yunja-yah! As much as I love you, baby, I’m gonna have to say no.”
“But Boojae-“
“No butts hyung, unless it’s yours on my lap.”
“Mmm~ Changmin. I’d take you up on that offer.”
“Yoochun?.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I hate to say it, but your ‘quote-unquote’ “bedroom voice, that could slay the world into spontaneous orgasms” just got nasty. In a really bad way.”
“Is that the good bad?”
“No. That’s the bad bad Junsu.”
“Thanks Yunho.”
“You’re welcome bouncy~”
*laughter*
“Oh my God, *snort* that- *laughing* that is really, and I mean really bad!”
“That’s okay Yunho, Yoochun sucks at his bedroom voice-“
“Save for when we’re not in the bedroom.”
“Hey!”
“And you suck at dirty talk. But me, I’m an all around sex magnet.”
*louder outburst of laughter*
“*laughing* Junsu-yah, *laughing* your naiveté beats out Yunho’s awful dirty talk any day!”
“Changmin.”
“Yeah?”
“How quickly you forget your faults.”
“My faults? I wasn’t aware that I had any.”
“Wow Minnie-ah. And you said I was naive.”
“What do you mean? I’m a knock-out in bed.”
“That you are dongsaeng. But you are loud. As. Fuck.”
“Yeah, he’s quiet onscreen so often. But you’d never imagine he’d be as loud as he is in bed.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“But of course you wouldn’t notice Junsu. You like loud.”
“No more than you do Yoochun~”
“Ouch! Not so hard!”
“Sorry, sorry. I never would have guessed you’d be so fickle with ropes. You being tied to a wall and everything.”
“That was a onetime deal. Never again.”
“At least not on live t.v.”
“Well said Yoochun-ah. Well said.”
“Yeah, there is a lot we’d never let get caught on tape.”
“Most certainly not. We’d be dead meat if all this got out. You saw how they reacted to my story on Yashimanman. And that was only watching porn.”
“They’d have a cow if they found out we actually did all this stuff. Let alone all of us together.”
*silence*
“Wait a minute.”
“What is it?”
“Where’s JaeJae and his phone?”
This was the day all hell broke loose.
_________________________________________________________________
Vestiphobia
There was moaning, “Oh fuck!” and groaning, “Nng~”. And something that did not fit.
“Hey Changminnie?” Junsu had stopped.
“Yeah?” Why the hell had Junsu stopped?
“I think I’ve figured something out.” He said raising up to rest his head in his hands.
And the worse part was, he was serious. My God! Doesn’t he realize we are in the middle of something?
“Do you really need to point it out now?” Of all times for him to come up with some great idea, it had to be now.
“I’ve figured out what Jaejoong has.”
There was an arch of an eyebrow. “What do you mean what Jae has?” I swear on my deathbed if I’ve caught something, I’ll kill him!
A bit exasperated, he explained. “It’s something called vestiphobia.”
“Vestiphobia?” He said raising up on his elbows.
“Yeah, vestiphobia.”
“And what exactly is that?”
“The fear of clothes.”
There was silence for about 2.5 seconds. “What?”
“Yeah, it’s why he always wears so little clothes.”
The silence was deafening.
“Do you think it’s contagious?” Junsu was a little nervous, he was sure he’d caught it.
“If by contagious you mean -let’s see who can take off the most amount of clothing until our fans spontaneously combust- then yes. It’s contagious, and you have most definitely caught it.” Changmin said nodding his head.
“Well, I guess it’s not all that bad. You enjoy it right?”
With a look of contemplation. “I do. And you could be onto something. But right now, you should be on something else.” Changmin said with a pointed look southward.
“Oh yeah?” Junsu said with a sly grin.
“Yeah.”
_____________________________________________________________________
Falsetto
“Hey. Whatcha up to?”
“Nothing Yunho, just-”
“Plotting?” He said with eyebrow raised.
Changmin sighed. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that.” He turned his gaze back to the pen and paper he was working with.
“So what exactly is-” Yunho was cut off.
“Did you know that if you got Jaejoong worked up enough, he’ll come in falsetto?” He said it with ease as if it were an everyday occurrence.
And with him, it just might be.
“What? How do you know that?” He said eyes narrowing, completely perplexed. Just when had he found this out, and where the hell was I when he did?
“It was just one day when Yoochun and I were home, -you and Junsu were out- we wanted to see how many toys Jaejoong could take, and what would happen when he couldn’t take any more. That’s when we found out.” The entire time he said this, he kept on writing.
“Oh. But what is the list for?” He said leaning over to read it.
“I’m trying to see how many toys I can list, there are so many we haven’t tried.”
Yunho leaned a little bit more until he had a full view of the page.
Bad Boy Red
Prostate Pro 5.2
Tweezer Style Nipple Clamps and Cock Ring
Wallbanger Vibrating Pump
Yunho leaned back from the list, there were so many more he didn’t look at, but they all looked very promising. “You call Yoochun to pick up the stuff, then go set up the room, and I’ll make up a reason for Jae to follow me there. Sound like a plan?” He said as he began to stand.
“They say great minds think alike, I’m beginning to think they were right.”
____________________________________________________________
A/N: so... whadayathink??
let me know, and don't go easy. if i failed (the bad kind) let me know so i can improve, that way the next time i attempt this i wont make your eyes bleed.