The Folly of Age; PG13
So WAYYYYY back at the beginning of March I promised kdbleu a fic based on Bill Adama's POV on Kara and Lee as a couple for THIS Wishing Well post. Sadly, I suck and it took me until now to do it because I am THE WORST! Hopefully she'll forgive me someday, somehow. Although if not, I can't much blame her.
Anyways, here it is, should she still been interested. There could be canon!fail because I canon!fail a lot. :D
Title: The Folly of Age
Author: Word Vomity
Pairing: Kara/Lee
Word Count: 1909
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through Colonial Day
Summary: Bill gets a clue. And doesn't like it one bit.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
He'd been a fool, he realizes that now as he watches his children moving lightly across the dancefloor. Five minutes ago he'd been happy. Happier then he'd been since the worlds had ended. As he spun the President along the dancefloor, he'd felt good for a moment. Free again. He should have known there would be a cost for it. There always was now, every happiness, no matter how fleeting, was bought with borrowed time and paid for in blood. He'd let himself forget that, until Laura had smiled at Kara and Lee and whispered, “They look happy.”
He agreed, nodding serenely. “We all have a great deal to be happy about tonight.”
Her eyebrow quirked and her knowing smile grew. That damned Cheshire grin that always meant she was way ahead of him again. He faltered as he trailed along with her, trying clumsily to catch up. “No,” she chided, shaking her head and nodding pointedly at the clasped pilots, “THEY look happy, Bill. Them specifically.”
She waited patiently while his mind processed that, her head quirked at him again as if she wasn't sure whether he was in on the joke or not. He wasn't. His usually quick mind was processing something he'd never even considered and it was fighting the revelation. Eventually, his face tightened visibly as he reached the only logical conclusion to her words.
Oh, was all he could form into coherency. Oh and yes and obviously. And yet, for all his absolute certainty now, in this moment, he'd never before even entertained the vaguest notion of it, never suspected, never dreamed...his memories flew to Zak and his fingers tightened on Laura's waist as a thousand questions invaded his whirling mind.
“You OK?” Laura asked softly squeezing his shoulder. He realized dimly that they'd stilled. He was just standing now, frozen on the dance floor staring blankly as Kara giggled at something Lee whispered into her ear. And that used to look like friendship to me, he marvelled.
He let Laura go and turning, walked away to hide his shame with the crowd of onlookers. She trailed behind, leading him with a gentle hand on his back, towards the bar.
“Two ambrosias,” she told the bartender cutting the line in true presidential fashion. Then turning back to him, she softened and dropped her voice so only he could hear. “You didn't know?”
“No.” He responded curtly. Frak, what else had he missed?
She handed him the drink the bartender had brought them. He downed it in one gulp and signaled for another.
“I'm sorry.” She offered gently as he slammed another shot.
He looked back out to see his son's hand resting low against the silky blue fabric of Kara's back. Too low, he decided as he watched Lee's fingertips drop ever so slightly against the curves that began where her back ended. He had a momentary impluse to go yank Lee away and deck him. But then Kara adjusted her arms around Lee's neck, pulling him just a fraction closer to her and he wanted to throttle her instead. Were these touches new, he wondered, or had he just been missing them all along? He turned away from the disturbing scene and singaled for yet another drink.
“I'm a blind old man.” He said, to the air more than her. Had he really forgotten so much of the passions of youth that he didn't even recognize them anymore? The glances, the push and pull, the surging pulse of fire through electric veins. Yes, he knew. I've become an old man.
I've forgotten what its like, he realized with the regret that comes upon the aging when they're suddenly reminded that they're closer to the grave than from it. After rolling that unsettling thought in his mind for a moment, he barked a hollow laugh. Such a silly worry when death from old age was just about the least likely way to die these days. Everyone was now bound on the same interwoven timeline. The infants and adults, the eldery. It doesn't matter. People die from bombs, guns, accidents, murders, but not age. One would wish for such an end now.
He was pulled from his reverie by the president's gentle touch on his arm.
“Bill?” She asked softly, “Are you alright?”
He could feel the liquor begin to work its hazy magic through his mind and chest, provoking his anger and dimming his inhibitions. He signaled for one more drink before turning back to the president.
“Excuse me for a moment, Laura.” Brushing past her, he headed straight at the couple still laughing and twirling before him. Lee's head lifted first and Bill caught a moment of surprise mar his son's joyful face as he noted Bill's approach.
“Mind if I cut in, son?” He ask gruffly, as he reached them. “You're hogging our girl here.”
Kara's eyes jumped nervously, as if caught mid-crime. Her hands dropped reflexively from Lee. Lee hesitated, but Kara feined a grin and stepping back out of Lee's arms, turned readily into Bill's outstretched grasp..
“Of course, sir.” She laughed lightly, “I think it's the the dress. He's always surprised to find out that I'm a real girl.”
Lee's smile was tense and stretched, but he watched as his father stepped away with her.
“You're a girl?” He joked as they slid away into the throng of dancers. He could just make out her peal of laughter in reply. He continued watching them talk and sway for a moment before slipping away to the bar.
***
“You look very beautiful tonight, Kara.” He told her carefully. He needed to work up to this, to prepare himself and her. She blushed at the unusal praise from him. He'd complimented her flying before, her intelligence, her leadership, but certainly never her appearance. He took in her reddened cheeks with surprise. Kara rarely blushed. “I don't think I've ever seen you so dressed up before. It suits you.”
“Thank you, sir.” She tried to smile, but her voice wavered in obvious discomfort. “I feel a bit ridiculous actually. I'm honestly rethinking the decision at the moment.”
Bill continued to move with her, considering. She looked up at him, sensing something off in his manner.
“I don't know why,” Bill continued pressing on, nodding with seeming indiffernece in Lee's direction. He was watching them carefully from the bar. “From what I can tell, it seems to be quite a hit.”
She followed his view in Lee's direction before turning a deep scarlet in mortification. “Who. Lee? He's just...” She stumbled for the words. “He's protective of me. He's like family, sir. Like you are.”
A noncommital grunt was his only reply. That's what he'd always believed, what he'd believed when she went down on that moon and Lee'd refused to let her go, but he knew better now. He could tell how he'd thrown her off balance with his subtle insinuation. Good, he thought with a vindictiveness foreign to him.
“I'm so glad Zak brought you into my life, Kara. Made you our family.” The waves of tension were positively pouring off her now. The commander rarely talked about Zak and certainly never in public. He could tell that it was the last thing she wanted to think about now when she could still feel the heat from Lee's hands on her. She turned her face away from him and catching Lee's inquisitive eye watching them, turned away again. She moved like a stone in his arms, awkward and stumbling.
“Thank you, sir.” Her mumble was nearly unintelligible. “You know I feel the same.”
“I'm glad to hear you say that.” His voice was its usual even gravel tone, but he was conscious of sounding anything but glad. His words and his manner were speaking different tongues. “I know Zak would be happy to see that his brother and I have kept you in our lives, don't you think?”
“Yes, sir.” She bit out stiffly, forcing back the sudden tears threatening at the corners of her eyes.
“Do you still miss him? He continued, hating himself even as he spoke, but unable to stop.
Her eyes went wide.
“Sir?” She asked in pained confusion.
“I miss him everyday.” He explained, eyeing her sharply, “Everyday I think about him and wonder where'd he'd be if he'd lived.
Hesitating a moment, he went on, “But I suppose if he'd lived, you'd both be in a tight spot now, wouldn't you? What with frat regulations to think of. Not that they really ever stopped you before though did they? Not even with Zak back then. But you know as well as I do what can happen when those lines are crossed now, don't you? There are consequences to mixing love and duty. I hope you know that, Kara. You above anyone else, should know that.”
Understanding flared suddenly in her eyes. Stepping away from him, she nodded defiantly. “I know the consequences, sir. You don't need to worry about me." A tear slipped slowly from the corner of one eye. She dashed it away quickly.
"If you'll please excuse me.” With that she turned briskly on her heel and stumbled away fighting more tears still threatening.
Lee was already moving in her direction, anxious to check on her after seeing the tense interaction between her and his father. But Bill head him off as he started towards her, blocking the way. “Son, let her go. She's upset about Zak.”
Lee's eyes flashed surprise and then guilt at his father's words. But he nodded and ceased his pursuit when he saw her reach Boomer's worried arms and paste a happy face atop her pain. Bill could still feel the hum of the alcohol thrumming through him and his son's open concern only served to magnify his resentment towards him. His gut tightened as he watched his gaze travel back in Kara's direction. A flare ignited in his belly at the look in Lee's eyes. “We haven't sparred in awhile.” He told him, clenching his fists tightly at his sides. “Let's go get a workout in. What do you say?”
“Sure, dad.” Lee agreed, though Bill wasn't certain he was even listening to him anymore. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw what was distracting him. Kara was swaying slowly in the greedy arms of the new vice president, Gauis Baltar.
Lee's face sagged into a momentary anguish that Bill hadn't seen in a very long time. He masked it quickly before promising to meet his father later and walking dejectedly from the party alone. Bill gulped at the sight and looking back to Kara, saw her tracking Lee's departure over Baltar's shoulder with a grim determination.
Their eyes caught and held. She stared back at him not bothering to disguise her hurt and for a moment he hated himself for it. But he had done what needed to be done. He couldn't lose another son. Or daughter. Wearily he headed back towards the bar where the president's pitying face was still waiting.
“What did you do, Bill?” She whispered as he reached her, head hanging, shoulders bowed.
His voice could barely be heard over the laughter and the music, loud and lively around them.
He set his jaw tightly and spoke through clenched teeth to prevent saying more than he should. He held back words about his own selfishness and fear. He bit harder to keep in the truth about Zak and his own inability to let him go. He held in everything real about his own failings as a father to both of them.
Instead he pushed out what he wished were true, what he knew even as he spoke the words, was not.
"What I had to.”