Go Now, You Are Forgiven (a Jake/Cassie mix)
Medium: Books
Fandom: Animorphs
Subject: Jake/Cassie
Title: Go Now, You Are Forgiven
Warnings: Spoilers up to and including #54, The Beginning
Intended as a companion to BirdBoyWarriorPrincess, my Rachel/Tobias mix.
“You and my cousin make me want to hurl,” she said over her shoulder. “Jake can face death every day, but he can’t manage to ask a girl to a dance. And you’re no better.” --#29, The Sickness
”It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a normal young girl, you have certain…interests, certain…fascinations, a natural…curiosity.” --#14, The Unknown
“Real Girl” -Mutya Buena
She gave me a private look, just between the two of us. I knew what the look meant. I care about you, don’t be dumb.
And the look I sent her meant I know. I care about you, too
Okay, I realize it sounds corny. But give me a break. We’d been through a lot, Cassie and I. And all of us. We’d grown pretty close.
To me, Cassie is an amazing person. For one thing, she handles all kinds of responsibility. Her barn is actually the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. Her parents are both veterinarians and her dad runs the clinic as a way to help injured wild animals. Everything from seagulls to skunks. Cassie helps with all the work, except for doing surgery. But I’ll bet she could do that, too.
As for how she looks, well, she’s very pretty. --#6, The Capture
Nothing's ever perfect, there's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers it would put my mind at ease
So I'll just keep on going the way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up trying to catch a falling star, yeah
But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way to be the best that I can be
I never pretend to be something I'm not
You got what you see when you see what I got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I could do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am
“Tugboat” -British Sea Power
Jake is cute. Not cute in an itsy-bitsy he’s-so-cute kind of way. He’s a big guy. Not hulking big, just like he’s two years older than he really is. He’s also smart and funny and modest.
I think he likes me. We sit together on the bus sometimes. Sometimes we seem to accidentally end up near each other at assemblies, or in class.
He’s never asked me out. I’ve never asked him out. Needless to say, Rachel finds all this touching, funny, and completely idiotic. -Megamorphs #4: Back to Before
There’s a place I’d like to be.
There’s a place I’d be happy.
I don’t wanna go to your party.
I don’t wanna talk to your friends.
I don’t wanna vote for your government.
I just wanna be your tugboat captain.
“When You Were Young” -The Killers
I moved closer to Cassie and put my arm around her shoulder. There were goosebumps on her bare arms.
“I never used to be afraid, Jake,” Cassie said. “Not of anything. But now it’s like I’m afraid all the time.” -Megamorphs #1: The Andalite’s Gift
We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young
“My Funny Valentine” -Rufus Wainwright
“Doesn’t Cassie look great in these new clothes? These clothes that actually fit and have no raccoon poop stains? Doesn’t she look fabulous?”
Jake smiled his slow smile. “Of course she looks great. She always does. You guys have fun in the Dry Lands this afternoon. And try to be careful.”
He walked off down the hall leaving me with a nice, warm glow.
Rachel stared at me. “Okay, he’s an idiot, too.”
“No, you were right the first time,” I said smugly. “He’s the exception.” --#14, The Unknown
You're my funny valentine, sweet, comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable,
Yet, you're my favorite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
So, don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day
“The General” -Dispatch
What Cassie had done was insane. But it wasn’t wrong. And I just kept thinking, as idealistic and naïve and even dumb as Cassie’s actions might have seemed, did I want to undo them all now? Did I want to destroy the meaning of her sacrifice?
Cassie had given her life, making an absurd, hopeful bet on peace. If I gave one order…her bet would be wasted. If I gave the other order, we might all die. --#19, The Departure
I have seen the others
and I have discovered
that this fight is not worth fighting
I have seen their mothers
and I will no other
to follow me where I'm going
Take a shower, shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
go now you are forgiven
“Oh, It Is Love” --Hellogoodbye
Cassie was on her feet and running toward me, and I was running to her, and I wasn’t past any emotion, I was exploding with emotion.
Cassie jumped into my arms and I wrapped her up tight and before I knew it I was kissing her on the lips and she was kissing me back. --#26, The Attack
Your heart may long for love that is more near
So when I'm gone these words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, oh, is it love?
Oh, it is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, oh, is it love?
I kiss you and I know.
“One of the Boys” -Katy Perry
Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the dance floor. The dance floor formerly known as the basketball court. And then I was dancing. With Jake.
I gave a little twirl of happiness. It is horrible to admit that I hoped everyone was watching? Especially Allison?
Even if it’s horrible, it’s true. I liked the idea of everyone knowing that I, Cassie of the sometimes-bird-pooped jeans, was with Jake.
Jake smiled at me. He has a great smile. #29, The Sickness
'Cause I don't wanna be one of the boys, one of your guys
Just give me a chance to prove to you tonight
That I just wanna be your homecoming queen
Pin-up poster dream, not one of the boys
I wanna be a flower, not a dirty bee
I wanna smell like roses, not a baseball team
And I swear maybe one day, you're gonna wanna
Make out, make out, make out with me
“Think I’m in Love” -Beck
< It’s a doodle. It’s, um, of a…a heart, > I stammered. I tried to climb up the desk leg. But it was metal. My claws couldn’t get a grip.
< Think I see it, > Rachel answered. < If the heart has “Cassie Loves Jake” printed in the middle with a really dorky cupid drawn next to it. >
< That’s it. I accidentally turned it in with my test. Just get it. And don’t say anything, > I warned Rachel.
< Nothing? >
< Nothing! Not. One. Word. >
Rachel laughed and leaped down off the desk with the sheet of paper in her teeth. < Okay, you’re my best friend. So not one word. Especially not “Awww, isn’t that sweet?” And definitely not “Cassie is in lo-ove, Cassie is in lo-ove.” And no way I’d ever say- > --#34, The Prophecy
I think I'm in love
But it makes me kinda nervous to say so
I think I'm in love
But it makes me kinda nervous to say so
“Balance Beam” -Blue October
Was love turning my brain to mush, or what? I wondered if Jake ever did stupid stuff because he was daydreaming about me.
We never talked about things like that. We’d never even used the “L” word around each other. That’s what Rachel calls it. The “L” word.
But even though he’d never said it out loud, I knew that Jake loved me. And I knew Jake knew I loved him, even though I’d never said it out loud, either.
That was totally clear when we kissed. -#34, The Prophecy
Gradually we touched
Though our clothes were wet
We sat and smiled
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most
One: You've got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You've got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You've got to tell her that she's pretty
Four: You've got to be the perfect gentleman
When you shake the wall, you've got to make it bend
Yeah you're got to show her that she's a balance beam
And I keep falling all around this fairy tale.
“Lovers in a Dangerous Time” -Barenaked Ladies
We have kissed a few times. Usually right after we’ve managed to survive something horrible. It’s usually an “I-can’t-believe-we’re alive!” kiss.
Not that I’m complaining. Well, not exactly. I have to admit it would be nice to kiss Jake after a movie instead of after a battle or some near-death experience. -#34, The Prophecy
Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by?
We never get to stop and open our eyes.
One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall
Next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all.
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
“Patience” -Eddie Murphy, Anika Noni Rose, and Keith Robinson (from the movie Dreamgirls)
“How about ‘peace’?” I said with a weak smile.
Cassie looked at me like I was a naïve two-year-old. She reached out and touched my face tenderly. And for an instant, one sweet instant, the mask of hardness lifted. The girl I’d loved was looking back at me.
But she was gone as quickly as she’d come.
“It’s too late for peace, Jake.” --#41, The Familiar
I know you have questions,
same ones as me
How long has it been?
How long will it be?
When will come the morning to drive the night away?
Tell me when will come the morning of a brighter day?
Patience, Little Sister, Patience, Little Brother
Patience, Patience
Take each other by the hand
Patience, Little Sisters, Patience, Little Brothers
Let us walk together to the Promised Land
There's a river to cross and a mountain to climb
Patience, Patience
It's gonna take some time
We must walk in Peace (we got to walk in Peace)
It’s the only, only way
If we want to see that morning
See that morning of a brighter day.
“Such Great Heights” -Iron & Wine
I turned his hand over and squeezed it. He squeezed back.
He glanced sideway at Rachel and Tobias, then leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “I was kind of hoping we could hang out. You know, to talk.”
“Talk?” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Puh-leez. He wants to give you a big, fat, sloppy kiss. You should’ve seen him. He was a total zombie the whole time you were gone.”
I smiled at Jake. “A zombie? Really?”
Jake shot Rachel a dirty look, then stared down at his French fries. “Depends on your definition of zombie.”
“How’s this for a definition?” Tobias said. “Somebody who can’t eat, can’t sleep, spends every minute of the night and day searching the airport and all other known Yeerk hangouts, and can only utter one intelligible sentence: ‘I have to FIND HER.’”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Okay, so I was a zombie.” He looked up at me and smiled. --#44, The Unexpected
I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
I have to speculate
That God himself did make
Us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch
But its thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you're away
When I am missing you to death
“Weight of the World” --Saliva
“I loved Cassie. Always had. Still did. But there was this thing between us now. And I could never trust her again. She had put my personal well-being ahead of winning a war we absolutely could not lose.” #53, The Absolute
And I'd tell you this, but I don't know how.
And I'm caving in, and I'm falling out.
And I can't resist, and I can't rebound.
with the weight of the world as the world falls down.
It's the way you thrill me, then pull away.
The way you seem to kill me, a little more each day.
And it's what you're thinking in your twisted mind.
The way your body trembles, when it's next to mine.
I carry the weight of the world as the past is unfurled, but I won't stop to wonder.
Going through this life on my own made me cold as a stone; I'm a ship going under.
“Fifteen” -Taylor Swift
The anaconda’s habitat was probably not the most romantic place on Earth, but it felt safe. “You know I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jake,” she said, and put her head on my shoulder.
“I guess if we win, if we survive, maybe we should, you know, get married and all. I mean, eventually. I know we’re young, but man, we’ve been through enough that it should count for a few extra years, shouldn’t it?”
I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either.
“I would like that…eventually,” she said.
“But. But what?” --#53, The Absolute
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen
When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
“Unraveling” -Deb Talan
Part of me wanted what we'd had in the old days, Cassie and me. But that wasn't possible. I knew that. I had come to accept that all of that, all of what I'd had with Cassie, Tobias, Ax, even Marco, all of it was "in the war." And the things that were "in the war" didn't seem to translate into real life. Like they were written in incompatible computer languages or something.
I still cared for Cassie, for all of them. I always would. My life was divided into three parts: before, during, and after the war. And that middle section was so overwhelming, so big, so intense, it made the other two portions seem dim and dark and dull. --#54, The Beginning
Take it from me it is no use
washing your hands so often they are clean and cracked.
You never get your old skin back
once you have loved like that
you're a river of tangled string
you are unraveling
and no one else seems to mind.
You keep it to yourself, stay numb and act fine.
You wear the truth under your sole, like a pebble
it makes you limp and sway
but it will out someday.
He is inside you, he loved your marrow.
You think you could cut him out with a knife
if you went deep enough
I don't think so.
Maybe sing him back to living
'cause he might rise like a snake in a basket
or he may close his eyes
“Butterfly” -Weezer
He was the old, awkward Jake now, struggling to express feelings instead of making lightning decisions. "Look, Cassie, you're doing what you need to do and were born to do. Part of what we won was freedom for the Hork-Bajir people. And a place for them here on Earth. That's something we won. It's in the bank. It's real and it's good and your job is to protect it. Me . . ." He shrugged. "Look, for better or worse, this is what I do. This is what I am, not what you are."
"I'm still pretty good in a fight," I said.
He laughed. "Pretty good? Cassie, you're a one-woman army. But you're the soldier who has fought her war and moved on. That's good. It's not me, though. Come on, Cassie, we both know this is a lifeline for me."
I brushed away a tear. I didn't know how I felt. Relieved? Rejected?
"So you just came to say 'good-bye'?" My voice quavered miserably.
"No. I mean, yes, to say good-bye. For now.” -#54, The Beginning
I guess you’re as real as me
Baby, I can’t live with that.
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterflies.
I’m sorry for what I did,
I did what my body told me to.
I didn’t mean to do you harm.
Every time I pin down what I think I want
it slips away.
The goal slips away.
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain’t never coming back
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
“Jake, oooh baby, you are the man for me. I love your big manly shoulders. I love your piercing brown eyes. (They are brown, right?) But most of all, I love the macho, manly way you boss us all around, snapping out orders left and right. I think of you as the new Clint Eastwood. I must have you all to myself. Signed, Cassie. XXX” --#16, The Warning
Download link here
Fandom: Animorphs
Subject: Jake/Cassie
Title: Go Now, You Are Forgiven
Warnings: Spoilers up to and including #54, The Beginning
Intended as a companion to BirdBoyWarriorPrincess, my Rachel/Tobias mix.
“You and my cousin make me want to hurl,” she said over her shoulder. “Jake can face death every day, but he can’t manage to ask a girl to a dance. And you’re no better.” --#29, The Sickness
”It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a normal young girl, you have certain…interests, certain…fascinations, a natural…curiosity.” --#14, The Unknown
“Real Girl” -Mutya Buena
She gave me a private look, just between the two of us. I knew what the look meant. I care about you, don’t be dumb.
And the look I sent her meant I know. I care about you, too
Okay, I realize it sounds corny. But give me a break. We’d been through a lot, Cassie and I. And all of us. We’d grown pretty close.
To me, Cassie is an amazing person. For one thing, she handles all kinds of responsibility. Her barn is actually the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. Her parents are both veterinarians and her dad runs the clinic as a way to help injured wild animals. Everything from seagulls to skunks. Cassie helps with all the work, except for doing surgery. But I’ll bet she could do that, too.
As for how she looks, well, she’s very pretty. --#6, The Capture
Nothing's ever perfect, there's no guarantee
And if I knew the answers it would put my mind at ease
So I'll just keep on going the way I've gone so far
And maybe I'll end up trying to catch a falling star, yeah
But I don't wanna think about
What's gonna come around for me
I'll just take it day by day
'Cause it's the only way to be the best that I can be
I never pretend to be something I'm not
You got what you see when you see what I got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand
And all I could do is be true to myself
I don't need permission from nobody else
'Cause this is the real world, I'm not a little girl
I know exactly who I am
“Tugboat” -British Sea Power
Jake is cute. Not cute in an itsy-bitsy he’s-so-cute kind of way. He’s a big guy. Not hulking big, just like he’s two years older than he really is. He’s also smart and funny and modest.
I think he likes me. We sit together on the bus sometimes. Sometimes we seem to accidentally end up near each other at assemblies, or in class.
He’s never asked me out. I’ve never asked him out. Needless to say, Rachel finds all this touching, funny, and completely idiotic. -Megamorphs #4: Back to Before
There’s a place I’d like to be.
There’s a place I’d be happy.
I don’t wanna go to your party.
I don’t wanna talk to your friends.
I don’t wanna vote for your government.
I just wanna be your tugboat captain.
“When You Were Young” -The Killers
I moved closer to Cassie and put my arm around her shoulder. There were goosebumps on her bare arms.
“I never used to be afraid, Jake,” Cassie said. “Not of anything. But now it’s like I’m afraid all the time.” -Megamorphs #1: The Andalite’s Gift
We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
and see the place where you used to live
When you were young
“My Funny Valentine” -Rufus Wainwright
“Doesn’t Cassie look great in these new clothes? These clothes that actually fit and have no raccoon poop stains? Doesn’t she look fabulous?”
Jake smiled his slow smile. “Of course she looks great. She always does. You guys have fun in the Dry Lands this afternoon. And try to be careful.”
He walked off down the hall leaving me with a nice, warm glow.
Rachel stared at me. “Okay, he’s an idiot, too.”
“No, you were right the first time,” I said smugly. “He’s the exception.” --#14, The Unknown
You're my funny valentine, sweet, comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, unphotographable,
Yet, you're my favorite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart?
So, don't change a hair for me, not if you care for me
Stay, little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day
“The General” -Dispatch
What Cassie had done was insane. But it wasn’t wrong. And I just kept thinking, as idealistic and naïve and even dumb as Cassie’s actions might have seemed, did I want to undo them all now? Did I want to destroy the meaning of her sacrifice?
Cassie had given her life, making an absurd, hopeful bet on peace. If I gave one order…her bet would be wasted. If I gave the other order, we might all die. --#19, The Departure
I have seen the others
and I have discovered
that this fight is not worth fighting
I have seen their mothers
and I will no other
to follow me where I'm going
Take a shower, shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
go now you are forgiven
“Oh, It Is Love” --Hellogoodbye
Cassie was on her feet and running toward me, and I was running to her, and I wasn’t past any emotion, I was exploding with emotion.
Cassie jumped into my arms and I wrapped her up tight and before I knew it I was kissing her on the lips and she was kissing me back. --#26, The Attack
Your heart may long for love that is more near
So when I'm gone these words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, oh, is it love?
Oh, it is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking, oh, is it love?
I kiss you and I know.
“One of the Boys” -Katy Perry
Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the dance floor. The dance floor formerly known as the basketball court. And then I was dancing. With Jake.
I gave a little twirl of happiness. It is horrible to admit that I hoped everyone was watching? Especially Allison?
Even if it’s horrible, it’s true. I liked the idea of everyone knowing that I, Cassie of the sometimes-bird-pooped jeans, was with Jake.
Jake smiled at me. He has a great smile. #29, The Sickness
'Cause I don't wanna be one of the boys, one of your guys
Just give me a chance to prove to you tonight
That I just wanna be your homecoming queen
Pin-up poster dream, not one of the boys
I wanna be a flower, not a dirty bee
I wanna smell like roses, not a baseball team
And I swear maybe one day, you're gonna wanna
Make out, make out, make out with me
“Think I’m in Love” -Beck
< It’s a doodle. It’s, um, of a…a heart, > I stammered. I tried to climb up the desk leg. But it was metal. My claws couldn’t get a grip.
< Think I see it, > Rachel answered. < If the heart has “Cassie Loves Jake” printed in the middle with a really dorky cupid drawn next to it. >
< That’s it. I accidentally turned it in with my test. Just get it. And don’t say anything, > I warned Rachel.
< Nothing? >
< Nothing! Not. One. Word. >
Rachel laughed and leaped down off the desk with the sheet of paper in her teeth. < Okay, you’re my best friend. So not one word. Especially not “Awww, isn’t that sweet?” And definitely not “Cassie is in lo-ove, Cassie is in lo-ove.” And no way I’d ever say- > --#34, The Prophecy
I think I'm in love
But it makes me kinda nervous to say so
I think I'm in love
But it makes me kinda nervous to say so
“Balance Beam” -Blue October
Was love turning my brain to mush, or what? I wondered if Jake ever did stupid stuff because he was daydreaming about me.
We never talked about things like that. We’d never even used the “L” word around each other. That’s what Rachel calls it. The “L” word.
But even though he’d never said it out loud, I knew that Jake loved me. And I knew Jake knew I loved him, even though I’d never said it out loud, either.
That was totally clear when we kissed. -#34, The Prophecy
Gradually we touched
Though our clothes were wet
We sat and smiled
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most
One: You've got to take it kind of slowly
Two: You've got to hurry up and make your move
Three: You've got to tell her that she's pretty
Four: You've got to be the perfect gentleman
When you shake the wall, you've got to make it bend
Yeah you're got to show her that she's a balance beam
And I keep falling all around this fairy tale.
“Lovers in a Dangerous Time” -Barenaked Ladies
We have kissed a few times. Usually right after we’ve managed to survive something horrible. It’s usually an “I-can’t-believe-we’re alive!” kiss.
Not that I’m complaining. Well, not exactly. I have to admit it would be nice to kiss Jake after a movie instead of after a battle or some near-death experience. -#34, The Prophecy
Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by?
We never get to stop and open our eyes.
One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall
Next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all.
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
“Patience” -Eddie Murphy, Anika Noni Rose, and Keith Robinson (from the movie Dreamgirls)
“How about ‘peace’?” I said with a weak smile.
Cassie looked at me like I was a naïve two-year-old. She reached out and touched my face tenderly. And for an instant, one sweet instant, the mask of hardness lifted. The girl I’d loved was looking back at me.
But she was gone as quickly as she’d come.
“It’s too late for peace, Jake.” --#41, The Familiar
I know you have questions,
same ones as me
How long has it been?
How long will it be?
When will come the morning to drive the night away?
Tell me when will come the morning of a brighter day?
Patience, Little Sister, Patience, Little Brother
Patience, Patience
Take each other by the hand
Patience, Little Sisters, Patience, Little Brothers
Let us walk together to the Promised Land
There's a river to cross and a mountain to climb
Patience, Patience
It's gonna take some time
We must walk in Peace (we got to walk in Peace)
It’s the only, only way
If we want to see that morning
See that morning of a brighter day.
“Such Great Heights” -Iron & Wine
I turned his hand over and squeezed it. He squeezed back.
He glanced sideway at Rachel and Tobias, then leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “I was kind of hoping we could hang out. You know, to talk.”
“Talk?” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Puh-leez. He wants to give you a big, fat, sloppy kiss. You should’ve seen him. He was a total zombie the whole time you were gone.”
I smiled at Jake. “A zombie? Really?”
Jake shot Rachel a dirty look, then stared down at his French fries. “Depends on your definition of zombie.”
“How’s this for a definition?” Tobias said. “Somebody who can’t eat, can’t sleep, spends every minute of the night and day searching the airport and all other known Yeerk hangouts, and can only utter one intelligible sentence: ‘I have to FIND HER.’”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Okay, so I was a zombie.” He looked up at me and smiled. --#44, The Unexpected
I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
I have to speculate
That God himself did make
Us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch
But its thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you're away
When I am missing you to death
“Weight of the World” --Saliva
“I loved Cassie. Always had. Still did. But there was this thing between us now. And I could never trust her again. She had put my personal well-being ahead of winning a war we absolutely could not lose.” #53, The Absolute
And I'd tell you this, but I don't know how.
And I'm caving in, and I'm falling out.
And I can't resist, and I can't rebound.
with the weight of the world as the world falls down.
It's the way you thrill me, then pull away.
The way you seem to kill me, a little more each day.
And it's what you're thinking in your twisted mind.
The way your body trembles, when it's next to mine.
I carry the weight of the world as the past is unfurled, but I won't stop to wonder.
Going through this life on my own made me cold as a stone; I'm a ship going under.
“Fifteen” -Taylor Swift
The anaconda’s habitat was probably not the most romantic place on Earth, but it felt safe. “You know I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jake,” she said, and put her head on my shoulder.
“I guess if we win, if we survive, maybe we should, you know, get married and all. I mean, eventually. I know we’re young, but man, we’ve been through enough that it should count for a few extra years, shouldn’t it?”
I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either.
“I would like that…eventually,” she said.
“But. But what?” --#53, The Absolute
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen
When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
“Unraveling” -Deb Talan
Part of me wanted what we'd had in the old days, Cassie and me. But that wasn't possible. I knew that. I had come to accept that all of that, all of what I'd had with Cassie, Tobias, Ax, even Marco, all of it was "in the war." And the things that were "in the war" didn't seem to translate into real life. Like they were written in incompatible computer languages or something.
I still cared for Cassie, for all of them. I always would. My life was divided into three parts: before, during, and after the war. And that middle section was so overwhelming, so big, so intense, it made the other two portions seem dim and dark and dull. --#54, The Beginning
Take it from me it is no use
washing your hands so often they are clean and cracked.
You never get your old skin back
once you have loved like that
you're a river of tangled string
you are unraveling
and no one else seems to mind.
You keep it to yourself, stay numb and act fine.
You wear the truth under your sole, like a pebble
it makes you limp and sway
but it will out someday.
He is inside you, he loved your marrow.
You think you could cut him out with a knife
if you went deep enough
I don't think so.
Maybe sing him back to living
'cause he might rise like a snake in a basket
or he may close his eyes
“Butterfly” -Weezer
He was the old, awkward Jake now, struggling to express feelings instead of making lightning decisions. "Look, Cassie, you're doing what you need to do and were born to do. Part of what we won was freedom for the Hork-Bajir people. And a place for them here on Earth. That's something we won. It's in the bank. It's real and it's good and your job is to protect it. Me . . ." He shrugged. "Look, for better or worse, this is what I do. This is what I am, not what you are."
"I'm still pretty good in a fight," I said.
He laughed. "Pretty good? Cassie, you're a one-woman army. But you're the soldier who has fought her war and moved on. That's good. It's not me, though. Come on, Cassie, we both know this is a lifeline for me."
I brushed away a tear. I didn't know how I felt. Relieved? Rejected?
"So you just came to say 'good-bye'?" My voice quavered miserably.
"No. I mean, yes, to say good-bye. For now.” -#54, The Beginning
I guess you’re as real as me
Baby, I can’t live with that.
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterflies.
I’m sorry for what I did,
I did what my body told me to.
I didn’t mean to do you harm.
Every time I pin down what I think I want
it slips away.
The goal slips away.
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain’t never coming back
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
“Jake, oooh baby, you are the man for me. I love your big manly shoulders. I love your piercing brown eyes. (They are brown, right?) But most of all, I love the macho, manly way you boss us all around, snapping out orders left and right. I think of you as the new Clint Eastwood. I must have you all to myself. Signed, Cassie. XXX” --#16, The Warning
Download link here