[Oneshot] Fafner: One Sided Conversations
Title: One Sided Conversations
Author: lina_lau
Fandom: Soukyuu no Fafner
Rating: G
Genre: Angst and introspective stuff, Kazuki POV
Pairing: very very faint hints of SouKazu // KazuSou
Disclaimer: Not mine. D:
Summary: It's hard to have a conversation when there is no one to talk to...
Warnings: Spoilers for last episode of anime :x
Notes: Fafner ate my life. D: First ever Fafner fic; it sorta just... came out. Heh.
I always used to come to this place.
There is a strangely comforting presence here - something insubstantial, something indefinable, yet so real and present, that it’s hard to miss. It’s odd. I don’t feel so alone after all when I gaze out from this spot, forward, to the deep waters before me, stretching onward seemingly till eternity, merging and swirling together with the equally infinite blue sky, until there is no distinct boundary separating the two anymore, until the two are one, and indistinguishable, inseparable. We used to be like that too, once. Do you still remember, I wonder?
Everything I see somehow reminds me of your presence from before; something that I took for granted perhaps. But now, it is all the more painful when I turn and expect to see you, yet my eyes gaze at nothing but thin air, searching hungrily for a figure, something solid. Something that isn’t there, but should be. And I would smile, a little sadly perhaps, a little resigned, and turn to face forward again, turn to face the future again, and take another step, hoping that the day when I can see you, feel you, touch you, would come sooner.
A soft breeze ruffles my hair, whispering soundless words in my ears, circling me before moving away, leaving nothing but a cool trail, a displaced strand of hair, and a coldness that, somehow, permeated deeper than the skin, penetrating something in the very centre of me. I can almost see you, standing beside me now, looking out at the same expanse of azure, with the wind lifting strands of your hair that have escaped from the loose band you always tied it together with. I can almost smell the scent of you, carried by the wind, the scent of something fresh, something clean, but with an underlying scent of something darker, of something not quite so innocent.
Memories of you ricochet around my head, colliding with dreams, with reality, until I am not sure whether they are real anymore. Were they all figments of my imagination to begin with? I can still see so clearly your face; with a multitude of expressions, I can still hear so clearly your voice; calm, quiet, sometimes awkward. But yet, I can feel my memories of you slipping away, like water, slipping away from my fingers, as I try to hold it in my hand. The more I try to grasp at them, the faster they seem to fade away.
Time is a strange thing. It passes quickly when you want it to last the longest, to treasure every second, every moment that you have, and goes by so quickly that you feel as though you cannot quite catch up with it, as though time has flowed by without your noticing, and it is too late when you want to remember. Yet, it passes by slowly, painfully so, when you are waiting for something - living for the future, for something to come - but that something, or someone never seems to come.
It’s like trying to hold a conversation with only one person. There are only questions, but no answers. Countless times, I have shouted from this exact spot, out at the infinite sky and sea, loud enough, I’m sure, for the whole island to hear. Shouted until my voice was hoarse, and until I could feel the cool trails of evaporated tears upon my face. But all I received as answers were the distant echoes of my own question, faint, wavering, uncertain.
But I will try my hardest to grasp onto those swiftly disappearing memories. I will not forget. I will remember, just as you will too, I am sure. You are not one to break promises, and neither am I. Promises are not one sided, not like my conversations with the wind from this hill top. I will keep my promise. I will wait.
But how long do I have to wait for? Doubts grow with time. But doubts are easily quashed with conviction and absolute trust. And I trust you. I trust you to not break your promise. And so, I will wait.
But sometimes, when I am alone, here, on this remote hill top where no one goes to apart from you and me, my hope wavers, and my heart weakens. And I hold my one sided conversations with the empty air again. Conversations that always consist of only one question, but which could last for an eternity, as the echoes mock me. But I will wait, even as my own voice comes back to taunt me, again and again.
“Are you there?”
Are you there, Soushi?
I am here. I will always be here.
And I will wait.
-- END --
>.< I am never very confident in my forages into using the present tense. And well, as I said, this sort of just came out after I finished the final epsiode. :x Comments and stuffs are loved~ <3
Author: lina_lau
Fandom: Soukyuu no Fafner
Rating: G
Genre: Angst and introspective stuff, Kazuki POV
Pairing: very very faint hints of SouKazu // KazuSou
Disclaimer: Not mine. D:
Summary: It's hard to have a conversation when there is no one to talk to...
Warnings: Spoilers for last episode of anime :x
Notes: Fafner ate my life. D: First ever Fafner fic; it sorta just... came out. Heh.
I always used to come to this place.
There is a strangely comforting presence here - something insubstantial, something indefinable, yet so real and present, that it’s hard to miss. It’s odd. I don’t feel so alone after all when I gaze out from this spot, forward, to the deep waters before me, stretching onward seemingly till eternity, merging and swirling together with the equally infinite blue sky, until there is no distinct boundary separating the two anymore, until the two are one, and indistinguishable, inseparable. We used to be like that too, once. Do you still remember, I wonder?
Everything I see somehow reminds me of your presence from before; something that I took for granted perhaps. But now, it is all the more painful when I turn and expect to see you, yet my eyes gaze at nothing but thin air, searching hungrily for a figure, something solid. Something that isn’t there, but should be. And I would smile, a little sadly perhaps, a little resigned, and turn to face forward again, turn to face the future again, and take another step, hoping that the day when I can see you, feel you, touch you, would come sooner.
A soft breeze ruffles my hair, whispering soundless words in my ears, circling me before moving away, leaving nothing but a cool trail, a displaced strand of hair, and a coldness that, somehow, permeated deeper than the skin, penetrating something in the very centre of me. I can almost see you, standing beside me now, looking out at the same expanse of azure, with the wind lifting strands of your hair that have escaped from the loose band you always tied it together with. I can almost smell the scent of you, carried by the wind, the scent of something fresh, something clean, but with an underlying scent of something darker, of something not quite so innocent.
Memories of you ricochet around my head, colliding with dreams, with reality, until I am not sure whether they are real anymore. Were they all figments of my imagination to begin with? I can still see so clearly your face; with a multitude of expressions, I can still hear so clearly your voice; calm, quiet, sometimes awkward. But yet, I can feel my memories of you slipping away, like water, slipping away from my fingers, as I try to hold it in my hand. The more I try to grasp at them, the faster they seem to fade away.
Time is a strange thing. It passes quickly when you want it to last the longest, to treasure every second, every moment that you have, and goes by so quickly that you feel as though you cannot quite catch up with it, as though time has flowed by without your noticing, and it is too late when you want to remember. Yet, it passes by slowly, painfully so, when you are waiting for something - living for the future, for something to come - but that something, or someone never seems to come.
It’s like trying to hold a conversation with only one person. There are only questions, but no answers. Countless times, I have shouted from this exact spot, out at the infinite sky and sea, loud enough, I’m sure, for the whole island to hear. Shouted until my voice was hoarse, and until I could feel the cool trails of evaporated tears upon my face. But all I received as answers were the distant echoes of my own question, faint, wavering, uncertain.
But I will try my hardest to grasp onto those swiftly disappearing memories. I will not forget. I will remember, just as you will too, I am sure. You are not one to break promises, and neither am I. Promises are not one sided, not like my conversations with the wind from this hill top. I will keep my promise. I will wait.
But how long do I have to wait for? Doubts grow with time. But doubts are easily quashed with conviction and absolute trust. And I trust you. I trust you to not break your promise. And so, I will wait.
But sometimes, when I am alone, here, on this remote hill top where no one goes to apart from you and me, my hope wavers, and my heart weakens. And I hold my one sided conversations with the empty air again. Conversations that always consist of only one question, but which could last for an eternity, as the echoes mock me. But I will wait, even as my own voice comes back to taunt me, again and again.
“Are you there?”
Are you there, Soushi?
I am here. I will always be here.
And I will wait.
-- END --
>.< I am never very confident in my forages into using the present tense. And well, as I said, this sort of just came out after I finished the final epsiode. :x Comments and stuffs are loved~ <3