Moniker [G; Ishida, Ryuuken]
Title: Moniker
Author: worblehat
Genre: Bleach
Characters: Ishida, Ryuuken
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Kubo's an awesome human being.
Notes: Crack? Of a sort.
Word Count: 964
It was true that Ishida had given his father his screename; it was also true that he could not think of any instance when Ryuuken would actually use said information to contact him. Least of all possible scenarios to cross his mind was the one where his father pinged him from the next room.
QuincyDisdain: Uryuu.
At first, it seemed like a prank. Ishida sighed, rolled his eyes, and typed back.
QuincyPrided: Haha.
QuincyPrided: Very funny, Kurosaki.
He closed the window.
Another popped up ten seconds later.
QuincyDisdain: You were not to see or contact any shinigami under our arrangement.
Ishida's eyes widened. In his mind, he could hear the typed words sounded out in his father's voice.
QuincyDisdain: If you have your broken your word, training will discontinue immediately.
Ishida typed frantically.
QuincyPrided: No, no.
QuincyPrided: I have not contacted any shinigami since training.
QuincyPrided: Only...
There was barely a blip of hesitation before the response came.
QuincyDisdain: Yes?
Ishida thought about how to word his reply, fingers hovering over the keys.
QuincyPrided: This isn't the online name you gave me.
He bit down on his finger, wondering what response he could possibly get.
QuincyDisdain: I changed it.
Ishida blinked at his screen; this couldn't be real. Surely his father wouldn't do something so...so...well, there was no word for it, really - other than, perhaps, "lame."
"Stupid" was another good word.
QuincyDisdain: Is there a problem?
Yes, he thought.
QuincyPrided: ...
QuincyPrided: No.
QuincyDisdain: Hesitation is a sign of weakness, Uryuu.
Ishida made an annoyed sound. Body tense, he listened for movement in the other room, but heard none. Was someone pulling an elaborate joke on him? If Ichigo had somehow found out about his promise...maybe he would use it to mess with Ishida, try to get him to "snap out of it" - or however he'd put it the previous week, when they'd spoken briefly.
QuincyPrided: Ryuuken.
QuincyDisdain: Uryuu?
It seemed surreal. If his father had really sent him a message - from the next room, no less - it would not have been simply to say hello. Ryuuken believed in doing what was most advantageous and bonding with his son, even virtually, was not likely to rank high on his list of priorities.
QuincyPrided: What did you w
Ishida back-spaced.
QuincyPrided: You realise how weird this i
He back-spaced again.
QuincyPrided: I am wrapping up my essay for class next week. Did you need my assistance with something?
QuincyPrided: Or are you just checking up on me?
He knew he shouldn't have sent the second response, but he couldn't help the bitterness that had begun to spread through his mind. It was getting steadily more difficult to keep away from Ichigo, who seemed determined not to let him do so; but to be monitored online as well? Nevermind the lack of trust, it was plain annoying beyond any level Ishida thought possible.
After all, who wanted to spend their free time talking to their parents online?
When he looked at the screen again, one eyebrow quirked upward, an insane sort of look dominating his features.
QuincyDisdain: I am hungry.
Ishida gritted his teeth.
QuincyPrided: Then go make yourself something.
QuincyDisdain: I am in the middle of an important task.
QuincyPrided: Well so am I.
QuincyDisdain: There is no need to take that tone with me.
This was getting ridiculous.
QuincyPrided: What tone?
QuincyPrided: This is the internet.
QuincyPrided: There is no tone.
And then it was there - that unamused glare, accompanied with a self-important sigh. Ishida kept still and listened.
The sound of keys, faint but definitely there, sounded; trailing off when a reply appeared on Ishida's screen.
QuincyDisdain: So you say. And yet I can hear your words clearly.
QuincyDisdain: The fact remains that I require you to make me something edible in the next twenty minutes.
The anger was getting difficult - if not absolutely impossible - to restrain.
QuincyPrided: Why should I?
QuincyDisdain: ...I do not understand the question.
QuincyPrided: We're both working on things important to our careers, school-wise or work-wise. Therefore, we should be independently responsible for our needs.
QuincyDisdain: You write as if you have a choice in this matter.
QuincyDisdain: I am in the mood for something sandwich-like.
QuincyPrided: ...
QuincyPrided: MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN SANDWICH, RYUUKEN.
*
Ryuuken blinked at his screen. Had Uryuu really signed off? Or had he used the block feature Isshin mentioned in one of their recent conversations?
No matter.
Not bothering to knock, Ryuuken entered his son's room. "I see you are still online," he said, standing behind Ishida, placing one hand on his shoulder.
"I see you still don't bother respecting anyone else's privacy," Ishida retorted with a sulking glare at the now-open door.
Ryuuken grasped his son's shoulder more firmly. "You are not to block your father online."
Ishida snorted.
"Now. Stand."
Ishida grumbled, but eventually consented to Ryuuken's demand.
"Kitchen."
The ingredients were not hard to find. Ishida had already begun lying the meat atop the bread in thin lines, keeping them spaced evenly and neatly. He looked up when his father poked his head in.
"Uryuu," said Ryuuken.
"What is it now?" he replied testily.
"When you're done," said Ryuuken, glancing briefly at the sandwich-in-progress, glasses glinting as he pushed them delicately, higher onto his nose, "help me figure out this new PDA compatibility interface."
"Fine." Ishida lathered one side of the bread with mustard. "I hate you, by the way."
"Tell me something I don't know," said Ryuuken, turning to leave. "Just do it after you bring me that sandwich. And don't forget to use the low-fat mayonaise."
Author: worblehat
Genre: Bleach
Characters: Ishida, Ryuuken
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Kubo's an awesome human being.
Notes: Crack? Of a sort.
Word Count: 964
It was true that Ishida had given his father his screename; it was also true that he could not think of any instance when Ryuuken would actually use said information to contact him. Least of all possible scenarios to cross his mind was the one where his father pinged him from the next room.
QuincyDisdain: Uryuu.
At first, it seemed like a prank. Ishida sighed, rolled his eyes, and typed back.
QuincyPrided: Haha.
QuincyPrided: Very funny, Kurosaki.
He closed the window.
Another popped up ten seconds later.
QuincyDisdain: You were not to see or contact any shinigami under our arrangement.
Ishida's eyes widened. In his mind, he could hear the typed words sounded out in his father's voice.
QuincyDisdain: If you have your broken your word, training will discontinue immediately.
Ishida typed frantically.
QuincyPrided: No, no.
QuincyPrided: I have not contacted any shinigami since training.
QuincyPrided: Only...
There was barely a blip of hesitation before the response came.
QuincyDisdain: Yes?
Ishida thought about how to word his reply, fingers hovering over the keys.
QuincyPrided: This isn't the online name you gave me.
He bit down on his finger, wondering what response he could possibly get.
QuincyDisdain: I changed it.
Ishida blinked at his screen; this couldn't be real. Surely his father wouldn't do something so...so...well, there was no word for it, really - other than, perhaps, "lame."
"Stupid" was another good word.
QuincyDisdain: Is there a problem?
Yes, he thought.
QuincyPrided: ...
QuincyPrided: No.
QuincyDisdain: Hesitation is a sign of weakness, Uryuu.
Ishida made an annoyed sound. Body tense, he listened for movement in the other room, but heard none. Was someone pulling an elaborate joke on him? If Ichigo had somehow found out about his promise...maybe he would use it to mess with Ishida, try to get him to "snap out of it" - or however he'd put it the previous week, when they'd spoken briefly.
QuincyPrided: Ryuuken.
QuincyDisdain: Uryuu?
It seemed surreal. If his father had really sent him a message - from the next room, no less - it would not have been simply to say hello. Ryuuken believed in doing what was most advantageous and bonding with his son, even virtually, was not likely to rank high on his list of priorities.
QuincyPrided: What did you w
Ishida back-spaced.
QuincyPrided: You realise how weird this i
He back-spaced again.
QuincyPrided: I am wrapping up my essay for class next week. Did you need my assistance with something?
QuincyPrided: Or are you just checking up on me?
He knew he shouldn't have sent the second response, but he couldn't help the bitterness that had begun to spread through his mind. It was getting steadily more difficult to keep away from Ichigo, who seemed determined not to let him do so; but to be monitored online as well? Nevermind the lack of trust, it was plain annoying beyond any level Ishida thought possible.
After all, who wanted to spend their free time talking to their parents online?
When he looked at the screen again, one eyebrow quirked upward, an insane sort of look dominating his features.
QuincyDisdain: I am hungry.
Ishida gritted his teeth.
QuincyPrided: Then go make yourself something.
QuincyDisdain: I am in the middle of an important task.
QuincyPrided: Well so am I.
QuincyDisdain: There is no need to take that tone with me.
This was getting ridiculous.
QuincyPrided: What tone?
QuincyPrided: This is the internet.
QuincyPrided: There is no tone.
And then it was there - that unamused glare, accompanied with a self-important sigh. Ishida kept still and listened.
The sound of keys, faint but definitely there, sounded; trailing off when a reply appeared on Ishida's screen.
QuincyDisdain: So you say. And yet I can hear your words clearly.
QuincyDisdain: The fact remains that I require you to make me something edible in the next twenty minutes.
The anger was getting difficult - if not absolutely impossible - to restrain.
QuincyPrided: Why should I?
QuincyDisdain: ...I do not understand the question.
QuincyPrided: We're both working on things important to our careers, school-wise or work-wise. Therefore, we should be independently responsible for our needs.
QuincyDisdain: You write as if you have a choice in this matter.
QuincyDisdain: I am in the mood for something sandwich-like.
QuincyPrided: ...
QuincyPrided: MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN SANDWICH, RYUUKEN.
*
Ryuuken blinked at his screen. Had Uryuu really signed off? Or had he used the block feature Isshin mentioned in one of their recent conversations?
No matter.
Not bothering to knock, Ryuuken entered his son's room. "I see you are still online," he said, standing behind Ishida, placing one hand on his shoulder.
"I see you still don't bother respecting anyone else's privacy," Ishida retorted with a sulking glare at the now-open door.
Ryuuken grasped his son's shoulder more firmly. "You are not to block your father online."
Ishida snorted.
"Now. Stand."
Ishida grumbled, but eventually consented to Ryuuken's demand.
"Kitchen."
The ingredients were not hard to find. Ishida had already begun lying the meat atop the bread in thin lines, keeping them spaced evenly and neatly. He looked up when his father poked his head in.
"Uryuu," said Ryuuken.
"What is it now?" he replied testily.
"When you're done," said Ryuuken, glancing briefly at the sandwich-in-progress, glasses glinting as he pushed them delicately, higher onto his nose, "help me figure out this new PDA compatibility interface."
"Fine." Ishida lathered one side of the bread with mustard. "I hate you, by the way."
"Tell me something I don't know," said Ryuuken, turning to leave. "Just do it after you bring me that sandwich. And don't forget to use the low-fat mayonaise."