(no subject)
Things have just got too much for me the last few days. My coursework deadline has suddenly been rushed up to two weeks final draft and considering i havent had it marked once yet im not happy. I had to work on it last night till gone 12.30am so i could hand it in today. Results should come out tomorrow and i really aint in the frame of mind to be told im a failure yet again! Things with my "friends" have gone from bad to worse. Im so angry at myself for letting them bother me, but what else can i do when im gradually sinking further and further down and nobody is here to catch me.
I always stay positive, i always try to be the person people can go to, to get away from things but now i just want to be alone. I think too much and that is never good lol! I actually started to cry in school today, luckily i had contacts on so i said it was due to me not being used to them! I have tried to keep busy all day, went over to pips hill to try and get a case for me laptop, then went back to school for english, then went back over that way for lunch out with my mother, which meant even more pretending that everything is "ok" as nothing can ever be wrong in her household and if there is something we dont talk to each other so yeh! Then back to school for a year nine class ict lesson i had to work with, which helped me stop thinking. Then when i drove home i found myself driving southend way on the A127... i have no idea lol!
O well might as well look on the bright side, one day il look back at this and laugh thinking "see it worked out fine you fool"... i hope!
Tomorrow is going to be hell, but hopefully i wont have any lessons after 10.30 so i can jus go off somewhere. I know if I see some of my "friends" im going to confront them about the stuff they have written about me on the net. Thinking it is one thing telling everyone in the wrold is jus plain spitful! ok im talking about them now but i dont go into detail!
Jus smile and nod, and say ok. Nobody will know! I need some decent sleep I think!
I always stay positive, i always try to be the person people can go to, to get away from things but now i just want to be alone. I think too much and that is never good lol! I actually started to cry in school today, luckily i had contacts on so i said it was due to me not being used to them! I have tried to keep busy all day, went over to pips hill to try and get a case for me laptop, then went back to school for english, then went back over that way for lunch out with my mother, which meant even more pretending that everything is "ok" as nothing can ever be wrong in her household and if there is something we dont talk to each other so yeh! Then back to school for a year nine class ict lesson i had to work with, which helped me stop thinking. Then when i drove home i found myself driving southend way on the A127... i have no idea lol!
O well might as well look on the bright side, one day il look back at this and laugh thinking "see it worked out fine you fool"... i hope!
Tomorrow is going to be hell, but hopefully i wont have any lessons after 10.30 so i can jus go off somewhere. I know if I see some of my "friends" im going to confront them about the stuff they have written about me on the net. Thinking it is one thing telling everyone in the wrold is jus plain spitful! ok im talking about them now but i dont go into detail!
Jus smile and nod, and say ok. Nobody will know! I need some decent sleep I think!