And she gave it all away, for but a single a day..
I may have wasted all those years
They’re not worth their time in tears
I may have spent too long in darkness
In the warmth of my fears
As I walk through all my myths
Rising and sinking like the waves
With my thoughts wrapped around me
Through a trial of tears
~Dream Theater, 'Trial of Tears''
I feel cooped up. Caged in, I feel a burning desire to strike out and destroy the shelters I've so meticulously built. To see the light again, to see life again. But where would I go; what would I do? There would be no more shield, no more safe hide-away in which to avoid the scalding rays of life. To be alive again.. To truly live..
It's funny, how dearly we cherish the feeling of freedom. We live in a fairly structured society in which, if you wish to remain a constructive part of it, you must oblige by the guidelines set before you. Deviate.. and, well, who knows what might happen. Some veer left only to find failure; a life of misery and eternal regret to haunt their waking memories. Others might veer right, and find not excitement, but reassurance that is a society populated by people. But veer as you might, always -- always -- must you return, at some point, to the path you once left. You must settle down, and rest your weary bones upon the seat awaiting your arrival. And then? Wasted space, perhaps.. Maybe you leave behind your mark, and raise some young budding souls, teaching them the way of life -- teaching them to fill the shoes you were forced to leave behind. To fill the life you left behind.
Is this life?
I wonder where I'm going; to this end, I have little clue. There are days when I wonder if anyone else does; if they do, I'd like to know their secrets for discovery. Maybe there is no secret -- maybe it just smacks you in the face one day. "Hi, I'm your future -- hope you like it." Regardless of knowledge, of direction, still, we must decide. We must set ourselves a general direction for fear of missing that golden opportunity, the golden apple that brings fruitfulness into our lives. But to what end? To extent do we, should we, go to to grow that apple? What if we sow the wrong seed entirely, or miss the prime of the crop season? Do we settle for less? For that matter, how do we this is "less" -- what if this is, in fact, as good as it gets. So how far do you go? How far would you reach, would you stretch yourself, to catch but a glimps of that golden glimmer? Would you risk it all away, for but a single day? To what end?
What if love is on the line?
What if it isn't? What if you don't know? What if there's the potential? Rubbish -- there's always the potential, isn't there.. But what if that's your window -- what if your window for freedom now is the very same window as for your happiness tomorrow? Your future is on the line here -- your everything is at stake. Would you risk that all for a simply time of soulful peace, a moment of pure freedom? Could you live with the consequences if you failed, and missed that precious window.. Could you even imagine what it would feel like.
I couldn't.
...
I'm almost tempted to find out.
p.s. Happy Salad Day~! \(´^_^)/