First Date #21
French Ben with the ridiculously interesting messages back and forth. Interesting enough that I showed multiple people our correspondence and briefly contemplated posting it on Reddit. What a fucking weird date we had last night. God damn, I am so attracted though.
A high level overview: Funny, intelligent, tall, attractive French guy decides to meet me for ice cream and teach me to play ukulele. He is late. We get ice cream and then go to the park, and he attempts to teach me to play ukulele in the dark. We go to a restaurant and split a bottle of wine. We end up going back to my place. We end up having sex and it's incredibly aggressive and hot. Twice. He goes home. The end.
A play-by-play: Funny, intelligent, tall, attractive French guy decides to meet me for ice cream and teach me to play ukulele. He runs 30 minutes late, and I am surprisingly pretty okay with this because he manages to entertain me via text the whole time. During his trip over to meet me for ice cream, he devises a script for us to carry out. He arrives and he is good looking, possibly even better looking than how he looks in his photos (which have received the universal assessment from everyone I shown of, "He's cute!"). We carry out the script except that I completely messed it up and a misunderstanding led to me pinching his nose when I was supposed to pinch my own. All in all, awkward, but funny.
It's cold out, and perhaps getting ice cream was a poor idea, but it was the only plan I had and so we get ice cream. I am a bit unlike myself and find myself saying somewhat flirtatious things, (re: ukulele and the fact that I would be playing with the smaller one, "Oh, it's cute! Like me, right?" To which he confirms, "You're very cute") and do some forward things like wipe a drop of melted ice cream off of his thigh. Our conversation is mostly weird and darkly humorous (jokes involving me killing him so that we can recreate the scene in Ghost except with a ukulele?).
By the time we finish the ice cream, it is dark and it is even colder outside. Still, we go to the park, and he attempts to teach me to play the ukulele. He is a good teacher, I am a terrible student, fumbling and uncoordinated. I hate being bad at things and so I deflect my self-consciousness by remarking at how terrible I am at playing this thing with a big smile at my face. We manage to sort of play something together before deciding to leave for a drink because it is cold and dark.
I take him to Valencia Street and ask to stop when he sees something that looks appealing. He mentions that I am both his first online date ever and his first date with an American. We stop into Bar Tartine, and he orders a bottle of wine to split. We drink the whole bottle in the span of.. I don't know how long. Our conversation gets even stranger. He "guesses" random things about me (e.g. that I did wushu, that I had a boyfriend that was Central American or South American). He ties it all to things that I'm doing while we're at the table or things that he has intuited based on my body language. I realize much later (the next day) that actually, he must have Googled me because my last name is visible in one of my Instagram photos, which is linked to my OkC profile. He is a good liar though or I am just that trusting and so I gullibly believe him at the time. He ends up talking about how he has been manipulating the conversation and observing my behavior (e.g. he has been doing random hand motions and seeing if I would subconsciously pantomime him; apparently I have been). I kind of hate this since it makes me more self-conscious and I hate feeling manipulated. But he's so charming, so so very charming and so confident. He flatters me a fair amount, says that he was happily surprised that I was so pretty. "I look exactly like my photos! What were you expecting?" I asked. "I don't know, nerdier," he says or something like that. Other bits of flattery.
I realize that everything is a game to him and so I try to play even though I realize that it's kind of pointless because this is his game, and I'm just trying to keep up. He seems to really like me, which is confusing and honestly impossible to trust because of the whole game and manipulation theme in this date. I think to myself, well, I'm pretty sure i would want to sleep with him even if he hadn't been manipulating the date into that direction, right? So we agree to go back to my place. He kisses me outside the restaurant. He then does the thing where he motions as if he's going to kiss me and then pulls away. Damn, another game, and is it at this point that I realize that all the jokes about him asserting dominance are only half jokes? Damn, he is attractive. In the car, he tells me his last name, and I think to myself, does he know that I have a weird habit of not sleeping with someone until I know their first and last names? Is this a question that's on OkC? I don't remember.
We make it back to my place. We start playing ukulele again because it's another game, who will cause the other person to have "sexual release" first? It's all hazy at this point. We make out, he pushes me to the floor, he is incredibly aggressive, but it's really hot. He asks if I have condoms, and I say I do in my bedroom. The sex is hot, rough, aggressive, and really playful. I have never had an experience like it. The dominance thing is a big thing for him. He puts his hand on my throat (also a thing that Andrew likes to do) and says, "You're mine" a few times. He asks about the symbols in my house (the butterflies on my wall, the elephant, the octopus - considering at this point I still believe that he has intuited random information from me, the fact that he is observing all of this stuff in my house feels unnerving). He tries to offer different ways where we can mutually "lose" in this "game". I finally get him to say, "I lose", I get him to cum in my mouth (note: it's such a self-esteem booster, the fact that literally every guy I have ever been with in the past few years has said, "You're REALLY good at that"). I win, or did I? Was all of this just about the illusion of control? I'm not sure, it's very confusing.
We cuddle, it's nice. Again, it seems like he really likes me. "How am I supposed to share you with other people?" he asks. What a strange thing to say.
He has to leave because he still has to answer e-mails before sleeping. He says he'll stay if I say, "I lose". Everything is games with him, but I think he likes the fact that I catch him in his kissing game and still manage to steal a kiss sometimes when he pulls away. Or it could again just be the illusion of control and winning. I say, "I lose" and remove his shirt, we go back to the bedroom, we cuddle, we have sex, he cums while I'm on top of him and he is thrusting so hard, it feels great. He says something along the lines of, "That was intense."
He leaves and texts me when he gets home.
A high level overview: Funny, intelligent, tall, attractive French guy decides to meet me for ice cream and teach me to play ukulele. He is late. We get ice cream and then go to the park, and he attempts to teach me to play ukulele in the dark. We go to a restaurant and split a bottle of wine. We end up going back to my place. We end up having sex and it's incredibly aggressive and hot. Twice. He goes home. The end.
A play-by-play: Funny, intelligent, tall, attractive French guy decides to meet me for ice cream and teach me to play ukulele. He runs 30 minutes late, and I am surprisingly pretty okay with this because he manages to entertain me via text the whole time. During his trip over to meet me for ice cream, he devises a script for us to carry out. He arrives and he is good looking, possibly even better looking than how he looks in his photos (which have received the universal assessment from everyone I shown of, "He's cute!"). We carry out the script except that I completely messed it up and a misunderstanding led to me pinching his nose when I was supposed to pinch my own. All in all, awkward, but funny.
It's cold out, and perhaps getting ice cream was a poor idea, but it was the only plan I had and so we get ice cream. I am a bit unlike myself and find myself saying somewhat flirtatious things, (re: ukulele and the fact that I would be playing with the smaller one, "Oh, it's cute! Like me, right?" To which he confirms, "You're very cute") and do some forward things like wipe a drop of melted ice cream off of his thigh. Our conversation is mostly weird and darkly humorous (jokes involving me killing him so that we can recreate the scene in Ghost except with a ukulele?).
By the time we finish the ice cream, it is dark and it is even colder outside. Still, we go to the park, and he attempts to teach me to play the ukulele. He is a good teacher, I am a terrible student, fumbling and uncoordinated. I hate being bad at things and so I deflect my self-consciousness by remarking at how terrible I am at playing this thing with a big smile at my face. We manage to sort of play something together before deciding to leave for a drink because it is cold and dark.
I take him to Valencia Street and ask to stop when he sees something that looks appealing. He mentions that I am both his first online date ever and his first date with an American. We stop into Bar Tartine, and he orders a bottle of wine to split. We drink the whole bottle in the span of.. I don't know how long. Our conversation gets even stranger. He "guesses" random things about me (e.g. that I did wushu, that I had a boyfriend that was Central American or South American). He ties it all to things that I'm doing while we're at the table or things that he has intuited based on my body language. I realize much later (the next day) that actually, he must have Googled me because my last name is visible in one of my Instagram photos, which is linked to my OkC profile. He is a good liar though or I am just that trusting and so I gullibly believe him at the time. He ends up talking about how he has been manipulating the conversation and observing my behavior (e.g. he has been doing random hand motions and seeing if I would subconsciously pantomime him; apparently I have been). I kind of hate this since it makes me more self-conscious and I hate feeling manipulated. But he's so charming, so so very charming and so confident. He flatters me a fair amount, says that he was happily surprised that I was so pretty. "I look exactly like my photos! What were you expecting?" I asked. "I don't know, nerdier," he says or something like that. Other bits of flattery.
I realize that everything is a game to him and so I try to play even though I realize that it's kind of pointless because this is his game, and I'm just trying to keep up. He seems to really like me, which is confusing and honestly impossible to trust because of the whole game and manipulation theme in this date. I think to myself, well, I'm pretty sure i would want to sleep with him even if he hadn't been manipulating the date into that direction, right? So we agree to go back to my place. He kisses me outside the restaurant. He then does the thing where he motions as if he's going to kiss me and then pulls away. Damn, another game, and is it at this point that I realize that all the jokes about him asserting dominance are only half jokes? Damn, he is attractive. In the car, he tells me his last name, and I think to myself, does he know that I have a weird habit of not sleeping with someone until I know their first and last names? Is this a question that's on OkC? I don't remember.
We make it back to my place. We start playing ukulele again because it's another game, who will cause the other person to have "sexual release" first? It's all hazy at this point. We make out, he pushes me to the floor, he is incredibly aggressive, but it's really hot. He asks if I have condoms, and I say I do in my bedroom. The sex is hot, rough, aggressive, and really playful. I have never had an experience like it. The dominance thing is a big thing for him. He puts his hand on my throat (also a thing that Andrew likes to do) and says, "You're mine" a few times. He asks about the symbols in my house (the butterflies on my wall, the elephant, the octopus - considering at this point I still believe that he has intuited random information from me, the fact that he is observing all of this stuff in my house feels unnerving). He tries to offer different ways where we can mutually "lose" in this "game". I finally get him to say, "I lose", I get him to cum in my mouth (note: it's such a self-esteem booster, the fact that literally every guy I have ever been with in the past few years has said, "You're REALLY good at that"). I win, or did I? Was all of this just about the illusion of control? I'm not sure, it's very confusing.
We cuddle, it's nice. Again, it seems like he really likes me. "How am I supposed to share you with other people?" he asks. What a strange thing to say.
He has to leave because he still has to answer e-mails before sleeping. He says he'll stay if I say, "I lose". Everything is games with him, but I think he likes the fact that I catch him in his kissing game and still manage to steal a kiss sometimes when he pulls away. Or it could again just be the illusion of control and winning. I say, "I lose" and remove his shirt, we go back to the bedroom, we cuddle, we have sex, he cums while I'm on top of him and he is thrusting so hard, it feels great. He says something along the lines of, "That was intense."
He leaves and texts me when he gets home.