(no subject)
I still love this journal, somewhat "private" haha. though all the people warn us nothing on the WWW is 'private'...it is the WWW after all.
Goodbye~
On my handphone, i see "276 of 2221"..."395 of 2221"..."468 of 2221"... goes on and on until sometime soon, it'll be "2221 of 2221". im deleting ALL the messages in my inbox of my old phone, are you proud of me? all 2221 messages. i just selected "mark all" and pressed the C button, delete all messages. before i hit it i read through the '08 New Year ones from JY. he said "...may this year be an awesome, great, fun one for us. <3" now it's "1726 of 2221". coming soon...my heart really ached when i read those messages, filled with "I love you dear, goodnight!" i may not get any of those from him anymore. and finally, "Deleting message 2221 of 2221." (man now i wish i did this on '09 New year. it'd be like starting afresh, "no messages in inbox") i need none of these reminders, they're painful. though i still have that folder filled with 47 of JY's love messages haha ^^ those im keeping for a while but not browsing through them. the beginning of '08 was so long ago, '08 is coming to an end soon which is why i decided on the spot to just delete everything. those are the past...they're no longer relevant. we move and progress into the future, don't need to look back onto the past....just occasionally.
hopefully this dumb Nokia won't lagggg so much anymore. if it does, i'll be angry hoho.
truthfully, if it wasn't for this sht laggy phone I wouldn't delete everything. I'd keep them there, just 'collecting dust' in my phone. I don't actually read them, but isn't it nice to know there's a(an) (in)box full of comfort in your phone? comforting painful reminders of a love lost. this loss, it's starting to choke me a little.
If i were to describe it, you need to breathe but your body doesn't want you to breathe. each breathe you take oxygen fills your lungs but your heart and throat feel empty, as hollow as a dead xylem tube made of dead cells. yes, your heart becomes an organ of dead cells. it's as if your heart wants to sink and you should let it. sink to the bottom to recooperate for a while. let it lie there in peace for a bit, away from the hurt of the world repairing itself. when your heart comes back up the wound has turned into a scab. meeting your ex-love across the street may be like someone picking at your scab, cruelly picking at the pieces of scab where the rawest part of the wound still exists underneath. then the wound bleeds again...but only for a little while. before the fibrin threads kick into action and repair your heart once again.
(Im some Biology freak omggg)
Goodbye~
On my handphone, i see "276 of 2221"..."395 of 2221"..."468 of 2221"... goes on and on until sometime soon, it'll be "2221 of 2221". im deleting ALL the messages in my inbox of my old phone, are you proud of me? all 2221 messages. i just selected "mark all" and pressed the C button, delete all messages. before i hit it i read through the '08 New Year ones from JY. he said "...may this year be an awesome, great, fun one for us. <3" now it's "1726 of 2221". coming soon...my heart really ached when i read those messages, filled with "I love you dear, goodnight!" i may not get any of those from him anymore. and finally, "Deleting message 2221 of 2221." (man now i wish i did this on '09 New year. it'd be like starting afresh, "no messages in inbox") i need none of these reminders, they're painful. though i still have that folder filled with 47 of JY's love messages haha ^^ those im keeping for a while but not browsing through them. the beginning of '08 was so long ago, '08 is coming to an end soon which is why i decided on the spot to just delete everything. those are the past...they're no longer relevant. we move and progress into the future, don't need to look back onto the past....just occasionally.
hopefully this dumb Nokia won't lagggg so much anymore. if it does, i'll be angry hoho.
truthfully, if it wasn't for this sht laggy phone I wouldn't delete everything. I'd keep them there, just 'collecting dust' in my phone. I don't actually read them, but isn't it nice to know there's a(an) (in)box full of comfort in your phone? comforting painful reminders of a love lost. this loss, it's starting to choke me a little.
If i were to describe it, you need to breathe but your body doesn't want you to breathe. each breathe you take oxygen fills your lungs but your heart and throat feel empty, as hollow as a dead xylem tube made of dead cells. yes, your heart becomes an organ of dead cells. it's as if your heart wants to sink and you should let it. sink to the bottom to recooperate for a while. let it lie there in peace for a bit, away from the hurt of the world repairing itself. when your heart comes back up the wound has turned into a scab. meeting your ex-love across the street may be like someone picking at your scab, cruelly picking at the pieces of scab where the rawest part of the wound still exists underneath. then the wound bleeds again...but only for a little while. before the fibrin threads kick into action and repair your heart once again.
(Im some Biology freak omggg)