Random Update Is Random
I keep meaning to post but then I figure *meh*.
I tried to deposit a check tonight and the ATM ate it. So now I have to file for all sorts of stuff tomorrow at the bank but, in the meantime, I'm in need of that fucking money. *grrrrr*
I left Fry's an hour early because the music was OMGKILLING me. Dude. I don't like patriotic music on the best of days but when it's been a really long fucking day with a lot of really stressful shit, I'd prefer not to have God Bless America with a full chorus and an operatic soprano eating into my brain at 11 o'clock at night. It's going to haunt me. I know it is. Add in patriotic marches and I'm doomed.
I'm in a rather weird place, emotionally. This warnings discussion and wank have really helped me realize where I'm at on my own path. I'm sort of getting tired of both sides, tbh. But I'm most annoyed with the people saying that they shouldn't have a pre-reader. IDK. I think it's teh "I'm not that weak" that's implied in there. I have pre-readers for certain triggers and I don't think it's weak at all. I think it's acknowledging my limits. I don't do embarrassment because it triggers me. For the same reason, I don't do child abuse unless it's in certain parameters that my pre-readers are well aware of. And I don't really like feeling inferior because I have those pre-readers. See my speshul snowflake status come shining through.
So I'm attempting to reconcile where I thought I was at, where I might be at and where I want to be at. Maybe I'm not as whole as I'd like to be or even to the level I thought I was. So, emotionally fragile definitely describes me at this point. I feel raw and am taking stupid shit way too personally.
In more fandom news, I've finished my bigbangblackout fic. You can sort of tell where my love of HP died a horrible death. I'm hopeful that the betas can point me in the right direction to make the story awesome again. The idea is rather cool and it starts out well. It just slides right down into a flaming pile of dogshit near the end.
Finally, I'm writing a story that would, for the most part, completely and totally squick me most days. I totally blame elanorofcastile and this post with Karl Urban miming a BJ using a microphone in the goofiest, sexiest sweater vest ever. I swear to god, I feel dirty and perverted and not in a good way but I cannot get the story out of my head.
How are all of you?
I tried to deposit a check tonight and the ATM ate it. So now I have to file for all sorts of stuff tomorrow at the bank but, in the meantime, I'm in need of that fucking money. *grrrrr*
I left Fry's an hour early because the music was OMGKILLING me. Dude. I don't like patriotic music on the best of days but when it's been a really long fucking day with a lot of really stressful shit, I'd prefer not to have God Bless America with a full chorus and an operatic soprano eating into my brain at 11 o'clock at night. It's going to haunt me. I know it is. Add in patriotic marches and I'm doomed.
I'm in a rather weird place, emotionally. This warnings discussion and wank have really helped me realize where I'm at on my own path. I'm sort of getting tired of both sides, tbh. But I'm most annoyed with the people saying that they shouldn't have a pre-reader. IDK. I think it's teh "I'm not that weak" that's implied in there. I have pre-readers for certain triggers and I don't think it's weak at all. I think it's acknowledging my limits. I don't do embarrassment because it triggers me. For the same reason, I don't do child abuse unless it's in certain parameters that my pre-readers are well aware of. And I don't really like feeling inferior because I have those pre-readers. See my speshul snowflake status come shining through.
So I'm attempting to reconcile where I thought I was at, where I might be at and where I want to be at. Maybe I'm not as whole as I'd like to be or even to the level I thought I was. So, emotionally fragile definitely describes me at this point. I feel raw and am taking stupid shit way too personally.
In more fandom news, I've finished my bigbangblackout fic. You can sort of tell where my love of HP died a horrible death. I'm hopeful that the betas can point me in the right direction to make the story awesome again. The idea is rather cool and it starts out well. It just slides right down into a flaming pile of dogshit near the end.
Finally, I'm writing a story that would, for the most part, completely and totally squick me most days. I totally blame elanorofcastile and this post with Karl Urban miming a BJ using a microphone in the goofiest, sexiest sweater vest ever. I swear to god, I feel dirty and perverted and not in a good way but I cannot get the story out of my head.
How are all of you?