Fic: Memories as a Teacup: Chapter 12 Dean/Seamus (Current Rating PG)
Title: Memories as a Teacup: Chapter 12
Author: wook77
Pairing:: Dean/Seamus (other slash and het pairings contained within)
Rating: PG (Eventual rating: Hard R to NC-17)
100quills prompt: 007. Smile
Warnings: Canon compliant through DH. Pre-Epilogue. Additional Warnings at the beginning of Chapter 1.
Wordcount: Overall: ~70k This part: 1700
Summary: Four years ago, Dean Thomas died in the midst of a raid. Seamus saw it happen right in front of his eyes but seeing isn't believing and reality is in the eye of the beholder.
A/N: Many many thanks to nefernat and elanorofcastile for the beta job. All remaining mistakes are my own.
All Chapters
When Dean stepped out of Parvati's office, Seamus was waiting. It was just before three and Seamus barely resisted bouncing on the balls of his feet or tapping his hands on his legs.
"Ready?"
"Yeah, got some news for you," Dean said.
"Yeah? Good news?" Seamus looked from Dean to Parvati.
"Dean's agreed to the procedure," Parvati said at length.
"That's brilliant, mate, but are you sure?" Seamus saw how worried Parvati looked and the worry clouded over the excitement.
"Yeah, am sure. No worries, it'll work out for the best. Come on, take me to dinner." Dean gestured towards the lift.
Seamus, though, looked to Parvati. "Dean tell you about the match? You want to go with Ron, Dean and I? Bring Lavender, we'll make a day of it."
"It's the Cannons. It won't take but an hour for them to lose," Parvati said wryly. Seamus laughed and then the lifts dinged, interrupting.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then?" Seamus confirmed their appointment.
"Yeah, have fun, you two." She waved them off and headed back towards her office while they stepped in to the lift.
"You're in for a treat," Seamus said as they descended.
"Anything that doesn't involve you cooking is a treat."
"Fuck off, Thomas. I buy takeaway with the best of them." They exited the lift on a laugh and then made their way to the Floo. "Haven't travelled by Floo yet, have you?"
"Uh, no." Seamus enjoyed the bemused look on Dean's face.
"Watch." A witch walked up and grabbed a handful of Floo powder before shouting a word and entering the Floo. She disappeared in a flash of colour and light.
"Cool," Dean whispered.
"Wanna try?" Seamus pointed towards the Floo. "Take some of that and as you toss it in, say 'Leaky Cauldron' very clearly. If you don't, you're liable to end up in Outer Mongolia or something."
"Sure." Seamus crossed his fingers as Dean grabbed the Floo powder and tossed it in the fire. "Leaky Cauldron." He stepped in and then disappeared in a flash.
Seamus echoed the gestures and then came through at the Leaky Cauldron. He saw Hannah embracing Dean and couldn't help smiling at the open embrace. Neville was in the process of coming over from the bar and shook Dean's hand.
"…see you here." Seamus caught the last bit of Neville's statement.
"Yeah, Seamus promised me a meal and a surprise of some sort," Dean said as he looked over his shoulder at Seamus.
"You're eating here, though, right?" Hannah looked between them.
"Course, lass, wouldn't want him to miss out on your food. We've a stop to make first, though. Maybe two."
"Sooner you get through them, the sooner you can eat. We'll let you get to it, then." Hannah hugged Dean and then Seamus and went back behind the bar, Neville trailing after her.
As Seamus and Dean walked behind the Leaky Cauldron, Seamus tapped his wand and the wall opened to show Diagon Alley. Dean gasped, stepping back as the sights and sounds came through.
"Brilliant, isn't it? Come on," Seamus said before grabbing Dean's arm and tugging him through the entrance.
Once they were in Diagon Alley, Seamus slowed so that Dean could look around and absorb.
"This is crazy," Dean whispered. "This can't be real."
"It is, welcome to Diagon Alley, the centre of the magical shopping world. We used to come here to get our books and stuff for school. We'd meet up over at Flourish & Blott's and then we'd take off to Fortescue's and get ice cream. Haven't had that ice cream in years, mate. We should get some after we eat at the Leaky," Seamus babbled to fill the silence between them as Dean stared at the various vendors and witches and wizards in the street. "You all right there?"
"Seamus, this whole thing is real," Dean whispered again.
"Sure it is. You've seen me doing magic."
"That's… that's different."
"And you've been to St. Mungo's. You saw that guy with the elephant trunk for a nose. There was the Quidditch match, too. How'd you think all of that happened? Make-up, strings and wires?"
"It didn't seem real, not until now. I can't explain it but it didn't and now it does." Dean looked to Seamus with wonder and a hint of fear.
"I don't get it but that's all right, I don't have to, not really. You need a minute or are you ready for the rest?" Seamus held out his hand and was relieved when Dean placed his hand in it. "Just wait. You'll see."
"Okay, let's get to it." Dean stepped forward.
Seamus squeezed Dean's hand and then let go. He teased, "If you're a good boy, maybe I'll get you something at the Quidditch store."
"Oh yeah? I can be a good boy all right," Dean leered at Seamus and then laughed.
"Come on, then, on to the other end."
They wandered along, passing Quality Quidditch Supplies where children pressed their noses to the glass to look at the Nimbus 4000 on display. Flourish and Blott's and then Madam Malkin's. When they got to Gringott's, Seamus held up a hand. "You can wait out here or you can come in with me but I need to withdraw some money first."
"This is a bank?" Dean stared at the edifice.
"Aye, yeah. Goblins run it so it's secure." Seamus started up the stairs.
"Goblins? Now you're having me on." Dean followed.
"Aye, sure, mate, just having you on. It's all in the make-up and string." Seamus rolled his eyes and opened the door. "In you go."
They entered the bank and Seamus laughed as Dean's jaw literally dropped at his first sight of goblins. He cuffed Dean on the shoulder and then whispered, "Just you wait for your first view of a centaur."
"Blimey," Dean said.
"Want to go down to my vault?" Seamus offered.
"Vault?"
"Aye. It's not as big as Harry's but I've got a nice bit of savings now. Aiming to spend a bit of it today, though." Seamus waved at Dean and then went over to a goblin, showing his identification and then offering his vault key. "Come on or you'll miss it."
They followed the goblin along the bumpy ride until he opened up Seamus's vault. The pile was sizeable enough considering that the only money he'd spent was on takeaway, his flat and the pub nights with Dennis. Remembering the pub nights reminded Seamus that he needed to send another owl to Dennis and one to Dennis's parents, as well.
After stuffing galleons into a bag, Seamus turned to see Dean staring in to the vault. "What's wrong?"
"Do I have a vault?" Dean asked.
"Dunno, really. Your mam inherited everything when you passed. You've seen the letters, she wasn't big on letting me know anything." Seamus tried to keep the bitterness from his voice.
Dean stepped forward and embraced Seamus. "I'm sorry, I forgot for a minute. Something else I'll need to talk to my mum about when I see her."
"It's all right, mate. It's in the past and no use dwelling on it. What's done is done and all that rot. Didn't mean to ruin the experience with me moods. Come along, let's get out of here and to the surprise." Seamus squeezed Dean tighter and then let go.
The ride to the surface was just as jarring and they quickly exited the bank. The bright sunshine and high activity level of Diagon Alley lifted Seamus's spirit enough that by the time they reached Ollivander's, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Here it is!"
"Ollivander's? Makers of Fine Wands since…" Dean read and then his voice trailed off. Seamus's grin spread further as Dean turned towards him with a bemused expression on his face. "What're we doing here?"
Seamus winked and opened the door, gesturing for Dean to enter. An old stooped-over man came around from behind one of the stacks of wands and clapped his hands, startling both of them. "Mister Thomas! I've not seen you since you were a child. Here to purchase a new wand? Replace the one you lost, eh?"
"Who? What?" Dean stammered.
"That's right, Mister Ollivander," Seamus answered for Dean.
"A wand? Seamus, you're taking the piss."
"I think I have just the thing, give me a moment. Why yes, there it is, there it is!" Ollivander said as he opened boxes and shut them just as quickly before coming to the one he'd been looking for. He offered the wand to Dean and Dean balked.
"Try it, Dean," Seamus implored.
"What the hell do I even do with it?" Dean reached out and took the wand.
"Now give it a swish and a flick." Dean brandished the wand and boxes rattled while the glass on the counter shattered. "Yes! Like that but just not with that wand, here I'll bring another."
As Ollivander wandered in to the back of the shop, Dean leaned in to Seamus and whispered, "Are you serious? I'm getting a wand? What am I going to do with a wand?"
"Magic, Dean, you'll do magic." Seamus watched as Ollivander came back up with another.
"Try this one. Should've thought of it first. Hawthorne, just like your other wand. This one's a bit less springy but it's a good length." Ollivander handed over the wand. "Owl feather in it. Bit unremarkable to most but I think you're the sort to appreciate it. Knowledge, wisdom and memory, an owl has it all."
Dean held the wand and flicked it, causing bright red and purple sparks to shoot from the tip. "The wand chooses the wielder and it looks like this one has chosen you!"
As Dean stared at the wand and caused more sparks to come out of the tip, Seamus subtly paid Ollivander for the wand and then tugged on Dean's arm. "Come on, mate, let's get something to eat. Thanks, Mister Ollivander. Appreciate it."
"Take more care with your wands, Mister Thomas, it wouldn't do to lose another," Ollivander shouted after them and then the door shut behind them.
"Did you see that?" Dean said as he stared down at the wand.
"I did, yeah. Pretty wicked, isn't it? You'll be doing magic again in no time."
"God. I could feel it, too. There was this tingle when I flicked it." Dean paused to stare at the wand.
"Just wait until you learn how to use it." Seamus tugged on Dean's wrist again and they made their way through Diagon Alley.
"Dean? Dean Thomas?" A voice came from outside of Eeylops’.
"Yeah?" Dean turned and looked at the woman as she approached. Seamus braced himself.
"I thought… well, obviously the Prophet got something else wrong," Angelina said as she reached them.
"Angelina? He, um, he's, err, he's different," Seamus stumbled over his explanation as Dean started to shy away from her.
"Different? He looks the same." She reached out a hand and cuffed Dean across the shoulder. "Bit of a scare you gave everyone faking your death like that. Not on, mate, not on at all."
"There's more to it than that," Seamus interfered and didn't much care about how she glared at him. "He doesn't remember."
"I can speak for myself," Dean said. "I don't remember you or any of this."
"Oh?" Angelina still looked disbelieving. "So you don't remember snogging me in the Quidditch shed?"
"I did?" Dean flushed and looked at Seamus.
"You did?" Seamus looked at Dean while Angelina started laughing.
"Teasing, I'm just teasing. Besides, George would've kicked your arse if you'd tried."
"George?" Dean asked.
"Ginny and Ron's older brother, I'll tell you about him later." Seamus turned to Angelina. "We're on our way to dinner. We'll catch up some other time?"
"Good luck and good to see that you're not dead," Angelina said with a salute and then headed across the street.
Once they reached the brick wall, Seamus gestured at it. "Here, you do it."
"Me?"
"Yeah?" Dean held out the wand gingerly and Seamus pointed to the bricks while Dean tapped them. The bricks tumbled open and they walked through. "That is so cool."
"Isn't it?" Seamus held the door open and they slipped in to the Leaky Cauldron.
They slipped in to a table near the edge of the room and then ordered their food from the girl that helped Hannah out. "Don't know what Parvati'll think of it but you should have a wand."
"I'll ask her. Besides, I'm not going to try anything until I learn what I'm doing." Dean started to continue but Hannah came over with a couple pints.
"Here you go, lads. On the house, this round too, if only because it's so good to see you out and about finally, Seamus," Hannah said as she put the glasses on the table.
Seamus immediately felt uncomfortable with the way that Hannah and Dean were looking at him. He hadn't wanted Dean to know that he'd withdrawn as much as he had. With the way that he'd fallen back in to the social patterns with everyone, it hadn't been apparent.
"Yeah, thanks," Seamus said, hoping that she'd go back to the bar or another patron would need her.
"Two years is a bit long to ignore everyone, though, Seamus. I know you see Harry and Ron at work but the rest of us were here, too. Just stop being such a stranger and maybe go visit Neville. He missed you and it hurt him that you disappeared like that, especially after all you two went through together." Hannah squeezed his shoulders and then wandered back to the bar.
Seamus wouldn't look at Dean. Instead, he looked about the room. Finally, though, Dean said, "Didn't see anyone for two years?"
"It wasn't like that. I saw people."
"At work."
"Aye." Seamus looked up and saw Dean staring at him. "Saw Dennis outside of work, too, though."
"Didn't you date or anything?"
"Not really, no."
"Define 'not really'."
"I didn't, all right? I didn't date. Didn't do much at all except work, go back to my flat and drink or meet Dennis at a bar to drink. That what you want to hear?" Seamus demanded. "You happy now? You going to tell me all about how you had this great life where you dated and how I should've done the same?"
"I dated, yeah," Dean admitted as he fiddled with the glass, moving it so that it rested in the exact centre of the napkin. "It was weird though, felt uncomfortable, so nothing really went anywhere. I would've thought you would've gone out with friends or something."
"I was miserable, absolutely miserable because I was mourning you. I pulled back and not a thing wrong with it." Seamus raked a hand through his hair. "Glad you were off having fun but I wasn't. It fucking well hurt that you were gone and I didn't deal well with it."
"I didn't know about you, Seamus. I didn't know about any of this so I don't get why you're holding that against me!" Dean shouted and the hag at the next table looked over at them. When Dean spoke again, his voice was much lower, "I can't keep apologising for things that happened."
"Did you kiss them? Touch them? Bet it was girls, too." Seamus absorbed what else Dean had said. "And you can't, no, but I'm floundering here, Dean, and have been for years. The world's gone on without me and it's rather hard to deal with."
Dean's hand held on to his, pulling it from the pint glass. "Same. We'll just have to flounder together."
Seamus turned his palm up and held on to Dean's hand as if it were a lifeline. In that moment, it felt like it.
~~**~~
Dean fidgeted in his seat. They were just about to start removing the memories to work on them. Harry, Ron and Michael hadn't found much out yet, but the healers wanted to start regardless. It made him nervous that they didn't know how to work with his memories but they were forging ahead anyway.
"Relax, Dean, concentrate on your breathing," Parvati said in an even gentle tone. "In through the nose and out through the mouth. Deep, soothing breaths."
Dean did as he was bade but the nerves didn't dissipate. "You're going to feel tingling behind your ears. Just relax as much as you can, it will go faster and easier if you relax."
"You try relaxing," Dean muttered under his breath.
Parvati reached out and squeezed his hand. "What's your favourite recent memory? Tell me about it."
Dean looked around at all the people in the room and thought of one that he could share. Parvati squeezed his hand again. "Anything is all right. They're not listening."
"The other night? I woke up in the middle of the night and I could feel someone watching me. Should've been creepy, you know?" Dean stared at Parvati as he spoke. She squeezed his hand once more and he continued, buoyed by the touch. "But it wasn't. I shifted like I was still asleep and when I looked up, I could see Seamus there in the moonlight just watching me sleep. We'd argued about dating and how he pulled back from everyone and then that night, that's when I saw him watching me sleep. He looked so sad and I wanted to say something or do something. I really did but instead, I just watched him watching me."
"Do you think he does that often?"
"Maybe? I think I've caught him at it before but that line between sleep and awake, you know?" Dean squeezed Parvati's hand. "So I made this noise and he grinned, smiled like I'd just given him this amazing gift and then he said 'goodnight, Dean'. It's the smile more than anything else that sticks with me."
"He hasn't been happy in a very long time," Parvati said. "You were both so gone over one another and then he had it ripped out from under him. You being back is a gift for him. I'm glad that you've been so careful of him."
"It's hard, though. I just wanted to hit him when I heard how he pulled away from all of you."
"He needed space and we gave him that." The healers approached and Parvati let go of his hands. "Remember that smile and relax. Maybe think about what else you could do to get that smile again."
So Dean did. As the healers touched his head with their wands and the buzzing in his ears started, as the itch behind his ears turned into what felt like thousands of ants scurrying over his skull, Dean thought of what he wanted to do to make that grin reappear. That one recaptured image of hands ghosting down his chest while he arched backwards filled his mind's eye and he imagined what else they could do, how else Dean could touch Seamus to get that grin. Or, even better, what other faces Seamus just might make.
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought
Chapter 13
Author: wook77
Pairing:: Dean/Seamus (other slash and het pairings contained within)
Rating: PG (Eventual rating: Hard R to NC-17)
100quills prompt: 007. Smile
Warnings: Canon compliant through DH. Pre-Epilogue. Additional Warnings at the beginning of Chapter 1.
Wordcount: Overall: ~70k This part: 1700
Summary: Four years ago, Dean Thomas died in the midst of a raid. Seamus saw it happen right in front of his eyes but seeing isn't believing and reality is in the eye of the beholder.
A/N: Many many thanks to nefernat and elanorofcastile for the beta job. All remaining mistakes are my own.
All Chapters
When Dean stepped out of Parvati's office, Seamus was waiting. It was just before three and Seamus barely resisted bouncing on the balls of his feet or tapping his hands on his legs.
"Ready?"
"Yeah, got some news for you," Dean said.
"Yeah? Good news?" Seamus looked from Dean to Parvati.
"Dean's agreed to the procedure," Parvati said at length.
"That's brilliant, mate, but are you sure?" Seamus saw how worried Parvati looked and the worry clouded over the excitement.
"Yeah, am sure. No worries, it'll work out for the best. Come on, take me to dinner." Dean gestured towards the lift.
Seamus, though, looked to Parvati. "Dean tell you about the match? You want to go with Ron, Dean and I? Bring Lavender, we'll make a day of it."
"It's the Cannons. It won't take but an hour for them to lose," Parvati said wryly. Seamus laughed and then the lifts dinged, interrupting.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then?" Seamus confirmed their appointment.
"Yeah, have fun, you two." She waved them off and headed back towards her office while they stepped in to the lift.
"You're in for a treat," Seamus said as they descended.
"Anything that doesn't involve you cooking is a treat."
"Fuck off, Thomas. I buy takeaway with the best of them." They exited the lift on a laugh and then made their way to the Floo. "Haven't travelled by Floo yet, have you?"
"Uh, no." Seamus enjoyed the bemused look on Dean's face.
"Watch." A witch walked up and grabbed a handful of Floo powder before shouting a word and entering the Floo. She disappeared in a flash of colour and light.
"Cool," Dean whispered.
"Wanna try?" Seamus pointed towards the Floo. "Take some of that and as you toss it in, say 'Leaky Cauldron' very clearly. If you don't, you're liable to end up in Outer Mongolia or something."
"Sure." Seamus crossed his fingers as Dean grabbed the Floo powder and tossed it in the fire. "Leaky Cauldron." He stepped in and then disappeared in a flash.
Seamus echoed the gestures and then came through at the Leaky Cauldron. He saw Hannah embracing Dean and couldn't help smiling at the open embrace. Neville was in the process of coming over from the bar and shook Dean's hand.
"…see you here." Seamus caught the last bit of Neville's statement.
"Yeah, Seamus promised me a meal and a surprise of some sort," Dean said as he looked over his shoulder at Seamus.
"You're eating here, though, right?" Hannah looked between them.
"Course, lass, wouldn't want him to miss out on your food. We've a stop to make first, though. Maybe two."
"Sooner you get through them, the sooner you can eat. We'll let you get to it, then." Hannah hugged Dean and then Seamus and went back behind the bar, Neville trailing after her.
As Seamus and Dean walked behind the Leaky Cauldron, Seamus tapped his wand and the wall opened to show Diagon Alley. Dean gasped, stepping back as the sights and sounds came through.
"Brilliant, isn't it? Come on," Seamus said before grabbing Dean's arm and tugging him through the entrance.
Once they were in Diagon Alley, Seamus slowed so that Dean could look around and absorb.
"This is crazy," Dean whispered. "This can't be real."
"It is, welcome to Diagon Alley, the centre of the magical shopping world. We used to come here to get our books and stuff for school. We'd meet up over at Flourish & Blott's and then we'd take off to Fortescue's and get ice cream. Haven't had that ice cream in years, mate. We should get some after we eat at the Leaky," Seamus babbled to fill the silence between them as Dean stared at the various vendors and witches and wizards in the street. "You all right there?"
"Seamus, this whole thing is real," Dean whispered again.
"Sure it is. You've seen me doing magic."
"That's… that's different."
"And you've been to St. Mungo's. You saw that guy with the elephant trunk for a nose. There was the Quidditch match, too. How'd you think all of that happened? Make-up, strings and wires?"
"It didn't seem real, not until now. I can't explain it but it didn't and now it does." Dean looked to Seamus with wonder and a hint of fear.
"I don't get it but that's all right, I don't have to, not really. You need a minute or are you ready for the rest?" Seamus held out his hand and was relieved when Dean placed his hand in it. "Just wait. You'll see."
"Okay, let's get to it." Dean stepped forward.
Seamus squeezed Dean's hand and then let go. He teased, "If you're a good boy, maybe I'll get you something at the Quidditch store."
"Oh yeah? I can be a good boy all right," Dean leered at Seamus and then laughed.
"Come on, then, on to the other end."
They wandered along, passing Quality Quidditch Supplies where children pressed their noses to the glass to look at the Nimbus 4000 on display. Flourish and Blott's and then Madam Malkin's. When they got to Gringott's, Seamus held up a hand. "You can wait out here or you can come in with me but I need to withdraw some money first."
"This is a bank?" Dean stared at the edifice.
"Aye, yeah. Goblins run it so it's secure." Seamus started up the stairs.
"Goblins? Now you're having me on." Dean followed.
"Aye, sure, mate, just having you on. It's all in the make-up and string." Seamus rolled his eyes and opened the door. "In you go."
They entered the bank and Seamus laughed as Dean's jaw literally dropped at his first sight of goblins. He cuffed Dean on the shoulder and then whispered, "Just you wait for your first view of a centaur."
"Blimey," Dean said.
"Want to go down to my vault?" Seamus offered.
"Vault?"
"Aye. It's not as big as Harry's but I've got a nice bit of savings now. Aiming to spend a bit of it today, though." Seamus waved at Dean and then went over to a goblin, showing his identification and then offering his vault key. "Come on or you'll miss it."
They followed the goblin along the bumpy ride until he opened up Seamus's vault. The pile was sizeable enough considering that the only money he'd spent was on takeaway, his flat and the pub nights with Dennis. Remembering the pub nights reminded Seamus that he needed to send another owl to Dennis and one to Dennis's parents, as well.
After stuffing galleons into a bag, Seamus turned to see Dean staring in to the vault. "What's wrong?"
"Do I have a vault?" Dean asked.
"Dunno, really. Your mam inherited everything when you passed. You've seen the letters, she wasn't big on letting me know anything." Seamus tried to keep the bitterness from his voice.
Dean stepped forward and embraced Seamus. "I'm sorry, I forgot for a minute. Something else I'll need to talk to my mum about when I see her."
"It's all right, mate. It's in the past and no use dwelling on it. What's done is done and all that rot. Didn't mean to ruin the experience with me moods. Come along, let's get out of here and to the surprise." Seamus squeezed Dean tighter and then let go.
The ride to the surface was just as jarring and they quickly exited the bank. The bright sunshine and high activity level of Diagon Alley lifted Seamus's spirit enough that by the time they reached Ollivander's, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Here it is!"
"Ollivander's? Makers of Fine Wands since…" Dean read and then his voice trailed off. Seamus's grin spread further as Dean turned towards him with a bemused expression on his face. "What're we doing here?"
Seamus winked and opened the door, gesturing for Dean to enter. An old stooped-over man came around from behind one of the stacks of wands and clapped his hands, startling both of them. "Mister Thomas! I've not seen you since you were a child. Here to purchase a new wand? Replace the one you lost, eh?"
"Who? What?" Dean stammered.
"That's right, Mister Ollivander," Seamus answered for Dean.
"A wand? Seamus, you're taking the piss."
"I think I have just the thing, give me a moment. Why yes, there it is, there it is!" Ollivander said as he opened boxes and shut them just as quickly before coming to the one he'd been looking for. He offered the wand to Dean and Dean balked.
"Try it, Dean," Seamus implored.
"What the hell do I even do with it?" Dean reached out and took the wand.
"Now give it a swish and a flick." Dean brandished the wand and boxes rattled while the glass on the counter shattered. "Yes! Like that but just not with that wand, here I'll bring another."
As Ollivander wandered in to the back of the shop, Dean leaned in to Seamus and whispered, "Are you serious? I'm getting a wand? What am I going to do with a wand?"
"Magic, Dean, you'll do magic." Seamus watched as Ollivander came back up with another.
"Try this one. Should've thought of it first. Hawthorne, just like your other wand. This one's a bit less springy but it's a good length." Ollivander handed over the wand. "Owl feather in it. Bit unremarkable to most but I think you're the sort to appreciate it. Knowledge, wisdom and memory, an owl has it all."
Dean held the wand and flicked it, causing bright red and purple sparks to shoot from the tip. "The wand chooses the wielder and it looks like this one has chosen you!"
As Dean stared at the wand and caused more sparks to come out of the tip, Seamus subtly paid Ollivander for the wand and then tugged on Dean's arm. "Come on, mate, let's get something to eat. Thanks, Mister Ollivander. Appreciate it."
"Take more care with your wands, Mister Thomas, it wouldn't do to lose another," Ollivander shouted after them and then the door shut behind them.
"Did you see that?" Dean said as he stared down at the wand.
"I did, yeah. Pretty wicked, isn't it? You'll be doing magic again in no time."
"God. I could feel it, too. There was this tingle when I flicked it." Dean paused to stare at the wand.
"Just wait until you learn how to use it." Seamus tugged on Dean's wrist again and they made their way through Diagon Alley.
"Dean? Dean Thomas?" A voice came from outside of Eeylops’.
"Yeah?" Dean turned and looked at the woman as she approached. Seamus braced himself.
"I thought… well, obviously the Prophet got something else wrong," Angelina said as she reached them.
"Angelina? He, um, he's, err, he's different," Seamus stumbled over his explanation as Dean started to shy away from her.
"Different? He looks the same." She reached out a hand and cuffed Dean across the shoulder. "Bit of a scare you gave everyone faking your death like that. Not on, mate, not on at all."
"There's more to it than that," Seamus interfered and didn't much care about how she glared at him. "He doesn't remember."
"I can speak for myself," Dean said. "I don't remember you or any of this."
"Oh?" Angelina still looked disbelieving. "So you don't remember snogging me in the Quidditch shed?"
"I did?" Dean flushed and looked at Seamus.
"You did?" Seamus looked at Dean while Angelina started laughing.
"Teasing, I'm just teasing. Besides, George would've kicked your arse if you'd tried."
"George?" Dean asked.
"Ginny and Ron's older brother, I'll tell you about him later." Seamus turned to Angelina. "We're on our way to dinner. We'll catch up some other time?"
"Good luck and good to see that you're not dead," Angelina said with a salute and then headed across the street.
Once they reached the brick wall, Seamus gestured at it. "Here, you do it."
"Me?"
"Yeah?" Dean held out the wand gingerly and Seamus pointed to the bricks while Dean tapped them. The bricks tumbled open and they walked through. "That is so cool."
"Isn't it?" Seamus held the door open and they slipped in to the Leaky Cauldron.
They slipped in to a table near the edge of the room and then ordered their food from the girl that helped Hannah out. "Don't know what Parvati'll think of it but you should have a wand."
"I'll ask her. Besides, I'm not going to try anything until I learn what I'm doing." Dean started to continue but Hannah came over with a couple pints.
"Here you go, lads. On the house, this round too, if only because it's so good to see you out and about finally, Seamus," Hannah said as she put the glasses on the table.
Seamus immediately felt uncomfortable with the way that Hannah and Dean were looking at him. He hadn't wanted Dean to know that he'd withdrawn as much as he had. With the way that he'd fallen back in to the social patterns with everyone, it hadn't been apparent.
"Yeah, thanks," Seamus said, hoping that she'd go back to the bar or another patron would need her.
"Two years is a bit long to ignore everyone, though, Seamus. I know you see Harry and Ron at work but the rest of us were here, too. Just stop being such a stranger and maybe go visit Neville. He missed you and it hurt him that you disappeared like that, especially after all you two went through together." Hannah squeezed his shoulders and then wandered back to the bar.
Seamus wouldn't look at Dean. Instead, he looked about the room. Finally, though, Dean said, "Didn't see anyone for two years?"
"It wasn't like that. I saw people."
"At work."
"Aye." Seamus looked up and saw Dean staring at him. "Saw Dennis outside of work, too, though."
"Didn't you date or anything?"
"Not really, no."
"Define 'not really'."
"I didn't, all right? I didn't date. Didn't do much at all except work, go back to my flat and drink or meet Dennis at a bar to drink. That what you want to hear?" Seamus demanded. "You happy now? You going to tell me all about how you had this great life where you dated and how I should've done the same?"
"I dated, yeah," Dean admitted as he fiddled with the glass, moving it so that it rested in the exact centre of the napkin. "It was weird though, felt uncomfortable, so nothing really went anywhere. I would've thought you would've gone out with friends or something."
"I was miserable, absolutely miserable because I was mourning you. I pulled back and not a thing wrong with it." Seamus raked a hand through his hair. "Glad you were off having fun but I wasn't. It fucking well hurt that you were gone and I didn't deal well with it."
"I didn't know about you, Seamus. I didn't know about any of this so I don't get why you're holding that against me!" Dean shouted and the hag at the next table looked over at them. When Dean spoke again, his voice was much lower, "I can't keep apologising for things that happened."
"Did you kiss them? Touch them? Bet it was girls, too." Seamus absorbed what else Dean had said. "And you can't, no, but I'm floundering here, Dean, and have been for years. The world's gone on without me and it's rather hard to deal with."
Dean's hand held on to his, pulling it from the pint glass. "Same. We'll just have to flounder together."
Seamus turned his palm up and held on to Dean's hand as if it were a lifeline. In that moment, it felt like it.
~~**~~
Dean fidgeted in his seat. They were just about to start removing the memories to work on them. Harry, Ron and Michael hadn't found much out yet, but the healers wanted to start regardless. It made him nervous that they didn't know how to work with his memories but they were forging ahead anyway.
"Relax, Dean, concentrate on your breathing," Parvati said in an even gentle tone. "In through the nose and out through the mouth. Deep, soothing breaths."
Dean did as he was bade but the nerves didn't dissipate. "You're going to feel tingling behind your ears. Just relax as much as you can, it will go faster and easier if you relax."
"You try relaxing," Dean muttered under his breath.
Parvati reached out and squeezed his hand. "What's your favourite recent memory? Tell me about it."
Dean looked around at all the people in the room and thought of one that he could share. Parvati squeezed his hand again. "Anything is all right. They're not listening."
"The other night? I woke up in the middle of the night and I could feel someone watching me. Should've been creepy, you know?" Dean stared at Parvati as he spoke. She squeezed his hand once more and he continued, buoyed by the touch. "But it wasn't. I shifted like I was still asleep and when I looked up, I could see Seamus there in the moonlight just watching me sleep. We'd argued about dating and how he pulled back from everyone and then that night, that's when I saw him watching me sleep. He looked so sad and I wanted to say something or do something. I really did but instead, I just watched him watching me."
"Do you think he does that often?"
"Maybe? I think I've caught him at it before but that line between sleep and awake, you know?" Dean squeezed Parvati's hand. "So I made this noise and he grinned, smiled like I'd just given him this amazing gift and then he said 'goodnight, Dean'. It's the smile more than anything else that sticks with me."
"He hasn't been happy in a very long time," Parvati said. "You were both so gone over one another and then he had it ripped out from under him. You being back is a gift for him. I'm glad that you've been so careful of him."
"It's hard, though. I just wanted to hit him when I heard how he pulled away from all of you."
"He needed space and we gave him that." The healers approached and Parvati let go of his hands. "Remember that smile and relax. Maybe think about what else you could do to get that smile again."
So Dean did. As the healers touched his head with their wands and the buzzing in his ears started, as the itch behind his ears turned into what felt like thousands of ants scurrying over his skull, Dean thought of what he wanted to do to make that grin reappear. That one recaptured image of hands ghosting down his chest while he arched backwards filled his mind's eye and he imagined what else they could do, how else Dean could touch Seamus to get that grin. Or, even better, what other faces Seamus just might make.
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought
Chapter 13