Fic: Tapestries, Meetings and Kisses (Theo Nott/Seamus Finnigan, R Rated)
Title: Tapestries, Meetings and Kisses
Author: wook77
Pairing: Theodore Nott/Seamus Finnigan
Wordcount: ~7300
Rating: R
Warnings: DH Compliant
Summary: A seventh year for Seamus means no Dean, no peace, quite a bit of pain and one confusing mess with Theodore Nott.
Author's Notes: Please note that I copied, word for word, one pivotal moment from Deathly Hallows. This section is marked in italics. Obviously, this section is not mine and no profit is made from this. Many thanks to my betas and cheerleaders, yodels and janicechess, without whom, this story wouldn't be nearly as good. All remaining mistakes are, of course, my own. Originally written for hp_springsmut and posted here.
Seamus raced down the hallway, breath catching as he tried to get back to the Common Room. If he could just get there, the rest of Gryffindor would swear he'd been there the whole time. If he could get to the Common Room, McGonagall would swear he'd been there, too. He'd be protected. He'd be safe.
Fucking stupid, he cursed to himself as he ran past a suit of armour. Really fucking stupid. The temptation to paint "Dumbledore's Army - Still Recruiting" one more time had been too great. Seamus had never been one to resist temptation. He was impetuous and that was coming back to bite him in the arse.
He was so screwed if the Carrows got him. They were worse than Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad: they were better trained and had more power. Add in that the professors couldn't stick up for the students like they'd been able to before and Seamus was in for it.
It was just his luck that he'd barely finished when the Carrows themselves rounded the corner. He thanked whatever deity had inspired him to cover his head with a cap he'd borrowed from Dean last year. That way, he could be any of a hundred different students.
His laboured breath seemed to echo in the dark stillness of Hogwarts at three in the morning. Even the paintings were asleep, a blessing that would keep the lie he might have to tell alive. He only had to go up one staircase and race down the hallway -- then there would be just one more set of stairs before safety.
But it wasn't to be.
Just as he reached the last staircase, a hand reached out and grabbed him.
~Eight Months Before~
The train station was beyond crowded as the backlog of students and families tried to check in and prove that they weren't Muggleborns. Not for the first time, Seamus cursed his mam for dragging him back to this shite. He hadn't a clue how she expected him to deal with it. It wasn't like he dealt well with authority on the best of days but to go through this all while knowing that Dean was on the run for his life? That was beyond reason. Course, his mam wouldn't hear a thing about Dean or the unfairness of the Registry or any of that. Oh no, instead, his mam had concentrated on proving that she was Pureblooded and he was half and deserved to be off to Hogwarts.
Seamus cursed under his breath once more and his mam cuffed his ear. "Watch your language! You'll be showing manners here."
"No one here's deserving of manners, bunch of bastards, the lot of 'em." Seamus would've continued but his mam cuffed him once more.
"You want to be on the run like your friend?" She hissed in a low voice and then shot a look around the train station to see if anyone noticed.
"I do, mam, that I do. Better than this traitor shite."
"You want to be hunted? Then keep it up, boyo. Now shut your gob and be smart about it, it's almost our turn." Seamus shut his mouth as his mam handed over their paperwork. The Death Eater asked question after question, each one becoming progressively more intrusive - from name to parentage to just what sort of Muggle his da was to whether Seamus was known to consort with Mudbloods.
"They're Muggleborns and they're just as talented as-- ow!" Seamus's mam stomped on his foot; he glared at her and the Death Eater.
"Don't cause any trouble, boy," the man threatened, laughing darkly. "You'll find out soon enough. Go on through; take your trunk on your own. Help is for the Pure."
The man waved him through; Seamus grabbed his trunk and hefted it through the line and then on to the train. He looked for Neville or Harry or Ron but couldn't find any of them. After finding an open compartment, he hoped that his friends would join him soon enough. Otherwise, it wouldn't just be a lonely train ride, it would be a lonely year.
The door slid open and Neville struggled through. His trunk floated above and landed with a crash onto the rack. After him came Ginny and Luna.
"Wotcher, Seamus," Ginny said with a grin.
"Hello, Seamus, nice to see you." Luna smiled as she levitated her trunk next to Neville's.
"Going to be an interesting year," Seamus said in response and shifted so that Neville could sit next to him while Ginny and Luna sat on the opposite bench.
"Can't believe Harry and…" Ginny's voice trailed off before she slammed the door shut and then cast locking and privacy charms. "Dean not coming?"
"Muggleborn, remember?" He reminded her with a sneer.
"Colin's here so I didn't know if maybe he got forged papers or something like that," Ginny said defensively.
"Yeah, well, he didn't," Seamus spat back.
"So sorry, Seamus - "
"It's going to be tough enough this year," Neville interrupted. "Let's not fight amongst ourselves."
"Yeah, alright," Seamus agreed with a nod. "He's going to be hiding, doesn't want to risk his mum and sisters."
"He'll be fine," Luna said. "He's really rather proficient at charms."
"Is that the trolley? I'll be right back." Seamus stood and left abruptly. He heard them talking as he slid the door shut. He didn't want to talk about what was going on with Dean. He was too worried about it. Hiding was one thing but Dean didn't have anywhere to hide. He was out there all alone and Seamus wanted to be out there with him. Two heads were better than one and all but his mam had made sure he got on the train and that was that.
He was rather distracted as he walked up the narrow corridor and so he didn't see the person stepping out of a compartment.
"Oi! Watch where you're going!" Seamus yelled as he was knocked into the windows on the other side of the hall.
"You'll notice that you bumped into me," was the aristocratic response. Seamus looked over to see Theodore Nott smoothing his shirt and straightening his tie.
"Sod off, wanker, was walking here first, wasn't I?"
"However does anyone understand a word you say?"
Seamus stared as Nott walked off without another word.
~~
"Let me go," Seamus whispered urgently.
"Can't do that." Nott looked resigned. Seamus tugged, trying to loosen the grip.
"You can pretend you didn't see me."
"Can't do that either."
"Please." It was dragged out of him. They wouldn't just Crucio him. They'd hold him up as an example, towards the rest what with Neville in hiding, Ginny and Luna missing and Michael injured. He'd be lucky if they didn't kill him. Hell, he'd probably be better off dead after seeing what they did to Michael.
"Can't." Nott tightened his grip.
~Seven Months Before~
Seamus hated classes, hated them more than ever before. Sure, he'd hated Potions but that was because of Snape more than the whole idea of classes. Now, though, every class was basically the same Death Eater tripe. Even Transfiguration was horrible, something he'd never once thought possible. He'd loved Transfiguration, but now, with McGonagall stuck bowing to Snape and his bunch, he loathed that just as much.
Perhaps mouthing off in Muggle Studies hadn't been the smartest thing. Upon further consideration, it definitely hadn't been the smartest thing. He really wasn't looking forward to detention tonight. The last one had had him aching for days afterwards and the Carrows were only getting crueler as time went by. Neville patted his shoulder as they exited Muggle Studies; the small gesture bolstered him.
By the time they reached the Great Hall for lunch, he had pushed the dread away so that he could concentrate on food as well as the plotting they always did while they ate. Neville and Ginny were already at the table, whispering to one another. Seamus slid onto the bench next to Neville and leaned in.
"We have to do something. They're awful!" Ginny whispered emphatically. Neville and Seamus nodded.
"What about the coins?" Neville asked before fishing his from his pocket. "We could maybe set them up to talk to one another. You still have yours?"
"Yeah, it's in my trunk," Ginny answered. Seamus wondered if he had his any longer. Or if Dean still had his. That'd be one way of talking that didn't involve owls that were screened before being distributed.
"You?"
Seamus shook his head. "Not sure, I'll look when we get back up there, before detention." The dread started to creep back.
"All right, well, look, will you? Luna's got hers and she's going to check with everyone she knows. I'll talk to Parvati and Lavender tonight."
"You think it'll work?" Seamus asked, thinking of how the DA had been caught in the end.
"The Carrows are dumber'n Umbridge, course it'll work." Neville sounded sure of himself. Seamus responded with a grin.
"Can't say that brains run in that family, all right."
The conversation devolved into shared insults at the Carrows' expense and soon, the three of them were laughing hard enough to garner attention. Alecto lumbered over and gripped Seamus and Neville by the back of the necks.
"Detention, all of you. You're up to something!" Alecto walked back towards the professor's table, leaving the three of them to stare at their plates. This was two detentions that Seamus now would have the misfortune to spend with Alecto Carrow.
When Seamus looked up, he caught Nott looking at him. It wasn't a friendly look but neither was it condescending. All it left him with was a confused rumble in his gut. Flushing, he looked away, reaching for a roll though his appetite had fled with the promise of upcoming suffering. When he looked back up, Nott was still staring.
Seamus didn't know whether to wink or glare so he settled on staring until Neville tapped his shoulder. They were going to be late for Charms if they didn't hurry.
~~
"Not like you're all that worried about their opinions anyway," Seamus hissed as he tried to free himself, pulling against that grip.
"I care, Seamus, I care more than you know. You think it's easy to be in there?" Nott pulled him closer and glared at him. "If I let you go, what they'll do to you is nothing compared to what they'll do to me."
"Selfish bastard," Seamus said but he didn't mean it, not completely.
"Fuck you, Finnigan. Fuck you if you think you're any better than me," Nott spat and Seamus reached up and wiped a hand across his face. It was either that or he was going to hit Nott. The thought was tempting but that would only make things worse for him.
"I am better than you. At least I stand up for what I believe instead of going along with the fucks in power." Seamus glared while he spoke and then reached out and grabbed the back of Nott's neck, pinching it tightly. "You're a weak piece of shite."
"You're not making your predicament any better."
"Neither are you."
~Six Months Before~
Seamus tossed his wand down onto the ground with a flourish. "I won't do it."
Amycus Carrow glared at him for a moment and then his expression turned as crafty as it could. The lopsided sneer didn't sit well on his face; Seamus felt a frisson of fear. "If you aren't on one end, you'll be on the other."
Seamus goggled at that. Surely he didn't mean that someone was going to cast Crucio on him. They couldn't do that, could they? That sort of shite wasn't allowed, couldn't be allowed. After looking at Neville and then over to the horror-filled faces of Parvati and Lavender, Seamus looked back at Carrow.
"You," Carrow said, gesturing towards the Slytherins. "You have a new target. Cast."
Goyle lumbered out of the back row and pointed his wand. "Crucio!"
The spell hit Seamus harder than he'd thought possible. He'd heard of the effects but he hadn't realised that they would be this severe. Pain screamed up and down his body, no one place hurting more or less than any other. This was far worse than the time he'd accidentally scorched his hand on the cooker at home, far worse than when he'd spilled a boiling potion on his arm. This was the worst thing to ever happen to him and he couldn't help the scream that came out of his throat.
Goyle released the spell. It had lasted all of perhaps five seconds but felt so much longer than that. Carrow grinned. "Going to try it now?"
"No," Seamus bit out between clenched teeth from his spot on the ground.
"You. Your turn," Carrow said as he beckoned another student forward. Seamus looked up to see Nott standing before him, wand upraised.
"Perhaps, sir, we could try something else? If Goyle can do it, anyone can. I'd like something a bit more difficult." Nott didn't look away from Seamus. Seamus couldn't read that expression, hadn't a clue what it meant but he felt a bit safer all the same. Surely there wasn't anything worse than the Cruciatus Curse, aside from Avada Kedavra, and there wasn't any way that Snape would condone killing a student, half-blood or no. Doubt still hovered, however, and Seamus didn't break the stare.
"Levicorpus, then." Carrow turned to the room and lectured them on the spell's capabilities and the way that the caster could control the victim. "Get 'em dangling in the air and you can do all sorts of things with 'em. Go on, get him up there."
Seamus watched as Nott cast the spell and then the strange eye contact was broken when he was hoisted into the air. He hung there, upside down, as if someone were gripping his foot and wouldn't let go. His robes covered his face and thus, didn't see whatever it was that hit his back. Another object hit him square in the chest and then another followed. The pounding went on for longer than he could judge and then, with a whispered, "Liberacorpus," he plummeted to the ground.
"Class dismissed," Carrow rumbled and then looked to Seamus as he pulled himself off the ground. Seamus hurried out of the room before anything else could happen.
Once Seamus was outside, he hid to the side of the door. When Neville exited and then approached, Seamus waved him off with a shake of his head. He did the same to Lavender and Parvati. The rest of the class walked out and Seamus watched as Nott was the last to exit. Seamus drew close to him and then asked, "Why?"
"Why what?" Nott didn't look at him and didn't slow down.
"Why'd you insist on something else?"
"That's none of your business." Nott turned down a different hallway from everyone else and Seamus followed. Three steps in, when it was obvious that Nott wasn't going to say any more, Seamus grabbed him tightly, turning him around so they were face to face.
"I'll only say this once. Unhand me."
"Not until I get an answer," Seamus said. When Nott started to raise his wand, Seamus held on to the hand with his free one.
"What answer would you like? Perhaps the one that would appeal to your conscience? I didn't cast that spell because it's an evil spell, never to be utilised." Nott sounded sarcastic.
"I want the truth." Seamus leaned in and realised just how very close they were. Nott's face was near enough that he could lean a bit further and be able to press his lips against Nott's, find out how that sneer tasted. The thought and the temptation that swept through him shocked him into silence, making him lose whatever words and accusations he'd been about to speak.
"What makes you think you deserve it?"
"I want to know why you're always staring at me. Why didn't you torture me?" His grip shifted so that he held on to the front of Nott's shirt and leaned in closer so that Nott's breath brushed across his lips. The heartbeat under his hand sped up, making Seamus wonder if maybe, just maybe, Nott might be wondering how he tasted. His cock twitched and started to harden.
"Perhaps I find you repulsive, you and your mixed blood," Nott whispered, but the edge was missing from his voice.
"Liar." Seamus leaned in until their faces were a hairsbreadth away. It was the perfect test as the heartbeat increased again and Seamus bit back the grin that threatened to spread. He started to lean in again, but Nott spoke.
"Perhaps I wonder why you persist in staying here when it's obvious you're not wanted."
"Liar."
"If you are so well-informed as to my motivations, then perhaps you should enlighten me."
It sounded like a dare to Seamus and if there was one thing Seamus couldn't resist, a dare was it. Just as he was about to kiss Nott, the click of shoes sounded and the two leapt apart. His heart raced like he'd just run fifty miles while his palms sweated, the one still tingling with the feel of Nott's wand hand under his.
"Just what is going on here?" McGonagall asked as she approached. "Mister Nott, to your Common Room. Mister Finnigan, come with me."
She turned on her heel and Seamus, with one last look at Nott, hurried after her. They continued until they reached the relative safety of her office. "Mister Finnigan, I understand that you are refusing to complete your lessons."
"That I am, Professor. Ain't no one going to get me to cast that spell on anyone else." Seamus's temper came back as he glared at her.
"As much as I applaud your bravery and ethics, remember that you are in a very tenuous position right now, one that could result in greater harm to you than what you have already incurred."
"You telling me that I should torture people?" Seamus goggled at Professor McGonagall.
"I'm telling you to be more circumspect." She arched an eyebrow at him. "Use that brain of yours and figure out another way, rather than rebellion for the sake of rebellion."
"I can't believe you're telling me to -" Seamus cut himself off as realisation dawned. Of course she wasn't telling him to torture people. He could try what Nott did with suggesting another spell or something. He nodded and her expression softened.
"I can only do so much." For a moment, she sounded so defeated and then her expression cleared. "The next time you are rude to a professor, you will receive detention. Am I clear?"
"Aye, Professor."
"Then to your Common Room. Your punishment is to reflect on what I've told you."
~~
That familiar tension and want swept through him as he looked at Nott. The skin under his hand was warm, much warmer than any cold-hearted snake deserved. The temptation to pull Nott further back and punch him in the face came over him but Seamus pushed it back down. That'd only make things worse, attacking another student was against the rules and not even McGonagall could help him with that.
The temptation to pull him closer was even stronger but Seamus tamped that one down as well.
"You think I'm here to help you?" Nott laughed, the sound cutting through Seamus. "You think you're special enough that I'd risk myself for you?"
"Guess not."
Five Months Before
Christmas was coming soon and it'd been almost a month since Seamus had got that last owl from Dean. Considering that all of the mail was being opened and read by someone, Seamus wondered if maybe someone had finally caught on to the code they used.
When Neville, Ginny and Luna planned on painting DA slogans on the walls near the Great Hall, Seamus told them about his plan to contact Dean to make sure he was all right. When the Gryffindors reached the stairs to the West Tower, they met up with Luna and Seamus broke off with a whisper of, "Be careful."
"You, too, and let Dean know that we're worried about him," Ginny said as the threesome continued down the stairs.
"Yeah, will do." Without a backwards' glance, Seamus hurried up the stairs and through the hallways until he reached the Owlery. The room was much colder than he'd anticipated and he regretted not wearing his scarf. He hadn't wanted it to look like he was planning on being up here if he was caught in the hallways. A scarf would belie that so he hadn't brought that or a coat.
He pulled the letter to Dean out of his pocket and slipped over to his owl. "Make sure this gets to Dean, yeah?"
The owl hooted as Seamus secured the letter. He ran his hand over its feathers, stroking it lightly. He'd missed his owl and considering that no student was allowed in the Owlery without special permission, it had been far too long since they'd been able to spend time together.
"Writing to a Mudblood? That's against the rules." The voice came out of the shadows and it was only then that Seamus noticed Nott standing against the wall. He was so still that if he hadn't spoken, Seamus would never have known he was there.
Rage at the term swamped him but he kept his priorities straight. Seamus tapped his owl and it took off. He hoped that the owl came back with a letter but no matter what, he was doing the best he could to ensure that Dean knew that people cared about him. After the owl was out of sight, Seamus turned and approached Nott, trapping him against the wall. "Going to report me, ye slimy bastard?"
"I should."
"You should also watch your language." It was said low and threateningly and Seamus fisted his hands into Nott's robes, pulling them closer together. Nott was taller than Seamus but Dean was over six foot, so he didn't much care about height differences. Besides, what he lacked in height, he made up for in strength and it was rather easy to pull Nott in. Nott's breath picked up. Seamus could feel his own heart racing with the adrenaline of being caught and this awkward closeness.
"Mud," Nott said deliberately, "Blood."
Seamus pulled him even closer and then pushed backwards, slamming him against the wall. The flinch and bitten off cry was almost enough. Almost but not enough, so Seamus pushed himself forward as well. He slammed Nott against the wall one more time and then, without thought, kissed him. It wasn't the sweet kiss he'd shared with Lavender Brown after the Yule Ball. It wasn't the kisses by the Shannon River at home, hot and passionate and needy. It wasn't like anything he'd ever experienced.
It was angry, so very angry and the passion swept over him before he knew it. He realised he was hard when Nott's thigh pressed against his cock. He was humping Nott's thigh while he pushed them closer and closer. There was too much teeth in this kiss, too many bites and sucking and nips. Too much heat and Seamus ripped his mouth away from Nott, backing up and swiping the back of his hand across his mouth.
"You report me and I'll make sure you'll regret it," he threatened and then hurried down the stairs.
~~
In that moment, Seamus hated Nott more than he hated Crabbe and Goyle, the Carrows, the Ministry and their fucking Muggleborn Registry. He hated everything that had gone wrong in the last year but, by far, he hated the hopelessness and despair the most. Nott, in this moment, personified all of that and Seamus reacted accordingly. Shoving at him, over and over, Seamus backed them up until they were partially hidden in the shadows. In a few minutes, they were sure to be joined by the Carrows and their squad of enforcers. Seamus was fucked if he didn't get away right now, if Nott didn't let go.
~Four Months Before
"Where's Luna?" Seamus asked as Neville, Ginny and Michael Corner joined him in the compartment.
"Not here," Ginny said as luggage banged about until the trunks settled on the rack. They each shared a look that showed just what that answer meant. With their activities at school and the articles in the Quibbler, of course Luna would've been a target. They'd been stupid to not figure that out.
Seamus's mind went back to Dean. The Owls had been so brief and sporadic that they'd barely contained any information at all. Seamus missed Dean, missed the closeness and the easiness of their friendship. It wasn't that Seamus didn't like Neville or didn't think of him as a mate or whatever. It was just that Neville wasn't his best mate and Seamus didn't really feel comfortable telling Neville about this odd thing with Nott. With the limitations of Owl communication, Seamus couldn't even tell Dean.
Instead, he was alone even while surrounded by a compartment full of people. As he looked up, he realised that it was a compartment full of people that were all looking at him oddly. "Yeah, sorry?"
"We asked if you've heard from DT?" Ginny asked. It took Seamus's brain a moment to catch on to the code.
"Oh, aye. Wales." He hoped they'd catch on to his code as well. Neville looked relieved as did Ginny and Seamus grinned. "Found a few mates."
"Good, I wondered," Neville said. The compartment slipped back into silence, breaking only when the trolley came past and they each picked out a few sweets.
Nearly to Hogsmeade, Seamus headed to the loo. He waved off the offers of company as there was always safety in numbers - a lesson learned when Corner had almost been caught while out painting one night last November - and walked down the aisle. Most of the trip was made in relative safety but as he opened the door to the loo, a hand shot out and pulled him in. He fought against the hold, swinging a fist out in the dark and connecting.
"Stop!" Nott's voice made Seamus cease his struggles.
"The fuck you pull me in here for?" Seamus demanded before casting Lumos.
Nott didn't respond, just stared at Seamus before leaning forward and kissing him. The kiss was just as frantic and needy as the last, more teeth and grasping hands, mashed lips and noses bumping. Seamus couldn't keep up with it as Nott pulled at his shirt, tugging it up and over so that his chest was bared. When Nott's fingers pinched his nipple tight between thumb and forefinger, Seamus ripped his mouth away from Nott's and cried out. Nott's hand came up and slammed over Seamus's with a whispered, "Shut your gob unless you want every person on the train looking in here."
"Fuck off," Seamus whispered against the hand and then bit it.
Nott returned the favour by moving so that he could mouth his way over Seamus's chin and then his neck, followed by the collarbone and then his chest. When he reached the nipple he'd pinched, Nott bit it, hard and fast. Seamus was suddenly quite glad for the hand over his mouth as he shouted out the painful pleasure that swept through him. He could feel Nott's grin against his chest and Seamus grabbed him by the shoulders, pushing him away before working on the fastenings of his white shirt and leaving the tie on. Seamus worked on the trousers next, opening them to reveal the black pants against the pale skin. Seamus palmed the bulge, tightening just a bit when Nott's face twisted. When he didn't cry out, Seamus tightened his grip just a bit further. This time, Nott mewled quietly and Seamus's grin turned triumphant.
When Nott lunged forward, the encounter turned in to a quest for dominance, each trying to spur the other on to greater heights. When Seamus wrung a moan out of Nott, Nott made Seamus keen. When Nott bit down on Seamus's shoulder, Seamus bit Nott's ear, sucking in the lobe and nipping the trapped flesh. The rasp of a zipper interrupted and then Seamus's trousers were around his ankles and Nott's hand was on his cock.
"Never would've thought you wouldn't wear pants," Nott breathed against the side of Seamus's head, the air tickling his ear and the short hair around it.
"Going to do anything with that?" Seamus asked with a cocky tone. Nott tightened his grip and twisted his wrist slightly and Seamus saw stars. "Right, then. That's just about right."
"Less talk," Nott said and then tugged. Seamus arched his back, head touching the mirror over the sink while his bare arse rested against the cold ceramic of the sink. The juxtaposition of the cold behind him and the almost too-warm grip on his cock sent Seamus into sensory overload so that all he could do was feel as his hands moved away from Nott to rest on the ceramic. Nott repeated the tug once, twice, three times more and then whispered, "More action."
Seamus came back to himself just enough to realise that merely holding on to the sink for dear life and sanity was probably not the right way to be participating in his first sexual encounter. Instead, he reached out and slipped Nott's pants down so that he had full access to the hard cock in front of him. Keeping a firm grip, Seamus thumbed the tip and it was Nott's turn to have his head fall back, his body arch and his hands to fumble for something to hold on to as Seamus thumbed it once more.
Nott stepped forward, between Seamus's legs, and then thrust, bringing their cocks together so that the back of Seamus's cock rubbed against his knuckles. Seamus moved his hands so that he had both cocks between them and then tugged. Nott's hands came up and gripped his face tightly, palms pressing against Seamus's cheeks, and then kissed him hard. The ceramic under his arse warmed and Seamus missed it, shifting down - and making Nott shift as well - so that another cold spot touched him and then he lost himself to the feel of the way that Nott was kissing him and the way that their cocks rubbed against one another. His balls started to tighten and he moaned as the tension released, making him spill over his entwined hands. He released his own cock and concentrated on Nott's until Nott, too, came.
Before Seamus even had a chance to absorb what had just happened, Nott spelled them clean and dressed, slipping out of the loo while Seamus's bits still tingled with the aftereffects of the spell.
~~
"Let go," Seamus whispered again in their hidden place.
"I won't," Nott responded firmly.
"You did the last time."
~Three Months Before~
Dumbledore's Army - STILL RECRUITING!
Seamus paused to look at their work against the stone walls next to the Great Hall. It was a work of genius that had taken Michael Corner and himself hours to do. Those hours had been well-spent as it was large enough that no one would be able to see anything else every time they approached.
The two boys exchanged triumphant grins and high fives before grabbing up their supplies. It was just in time as the sound of pounding feet came from the stairs that led to the dungeons. The grins turned to twin expressions of horror as they raced up the stairs to get away. The only ones out this late at night were Prefects, the Inquisitorial Squad or the Carrows. They were fucked if they got caught and they knew it well. After their outspokenness in class and the resulting continued castings of Crucio for any perceived infraction, this sort of activity was bound to get them even worse punishment.
Neville had cautioned them to set up warning spells but Seamus had ignored him. Instead, he'd just gone ahead with painting the walls. He should've known, should've fucking known that that damn Mrs. Norris was going to run tattling to Filch and Filch was going to run tattling to the Carrows.
At the break between the two towers, Michael sped off towards Ravenclaw while Seamus headed for Gryffindor. Hopefully they would each make it but at this point, if one were caught outside of their own Common Room, the Carrows would know who had been involved. Seamus hurried up the stairs, just one small hallway to get down and then he'd be safe. He prayed for Michael's safety as he had farther to travel.
He was also mildly ashamed of himself that he prayed they chased Michael because Michael had plenty of space to outrun them whereas Seamus only had the rest of this stair and the hallway, both completely open to anyone who chanced a look up.
His breath heaved in his chest as he ran up the long staircase, making sure to avoid the second, fifth and twelfth steps as they were disappearing steps. Once Seamus made it to the top of the stairs he turned the corner and pressed against the wall. They can't see me, they can't see me, they can't - the thoughts broke off as Seamus was yanked off his feet and behind a tapestry. He turned on his captor only to see Theodore Nott smirking triumphantly at him.
"Gotcha," Nott whispered and Seamus felt a frisson of fear race up his spine. He'd been so certain that he could get away that he hadn't let the fear register for anything other than the burst of speed it would lend him.
"Let me go," Seamus said as he pulled against that grip.
"What'll you give me?" The quirk of an eyebrow and the half-smile made the fear disappear as Seamus was swamped by the memories of the many ways they'd kissed and touched since the train ride coming back from Christmas break.
"What d'ye want?" Seamus grinned as he asked.
"You know what I want."
"You'll have to be clear and explicit, can't help that I'm a dumb Mick." Seamus raised his own eyebrow and Nott pressed a finger against his lips.
The sound of footsteps thundered past while snippets of the winded conversation bled through the tapestry, "I know the little bastard went this way! Come on, we'll get him and then there'll be hell to pay! Hurry it up!"
Once the footsteps disappeared, Seamus licked the finger. Nott pulled it back and pressed it into his own mouth and Seamus's grin spread further. "Never knew Goyle could move that fast."
"You'd be surprised."
"Aye, I'm already surprised." Seamus reached a hand out and fisted it into Nott's robes, pulling him in before pressing a light kiss to Nott's lips. "They would've got me if you hadn't pulled me in here. Thank you."
Nott's expression turned serious and he pushed Seamus away. "Don't ascribe altruistic motives to me else you'll be disappointed."
With that, Nott was gone and Seamus was left wondering what the hell had just happened.
~~
Seamus leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nott's. Instead of pushing against him, Seamus reached up and cupped his face. Though Nott didn't release his hold, he responded and it tasted better than it ever had before. As Nott pulled him in even closer, Seamus forgot about the group chasing him. Instead, he concentrated on the feel of the compulsive clenching against his shoulder and the way that Nott was kissing him.
Nott's tongue swept into Seamus's mouth, hot and wet against his own dry-with-fear tongue. Their tongues tangled together before Seamus's thrust into Nott's mouth, running along the back of Nott's teeth. When they pulled apart for breath, Seamus leaned his forehead against Nott's chin and muttered, "Fuck."
Nott let go of one of Seamus's shoulders before smacking his cheek lightly. He hissed, "Quiet! You want them to hear?"
"No, I want you to let me go," Seamus said but Nott only shook his head before kissing him once more.
~One Month Before~
Ginny hadn't come back. Seamus worried over what had happened to her until the charmed coin he was never without warmed his pocket with the safe message. Neville and Seamus stuck closer together. Neither went anywhere alone unless they had to. If one were assigned detention, at least one of the other DA members made sure that they received detention for the same time. Safety in numbers no longer meant pairs, it meant three or more.
Whatever Seamus went through was nothing compared to what Neville suffered. Seamus glowed with pride every time that Neville spoke up and he shuddered when Neville suffered. Even the sporadic Owls from Dean couldn't quite help. Just like at Hogwarts, the situation out in the rest of the world had grown even more dire.
The only bright spots were the continued broadcasts of Potterwatch. It was obvious to anyone who had been forced to share a loo with them that it was George and Fred Weasley along with Lee Jordan doing the broadcasts. Listening to them inspired Neville and he, in turn, inspired the rest of them. Whenever Seamus wondered, even for an instant, if this whole rebellion thing might've gone too far, Seamus needed only look in the mirror while the two of them got ready for class. The bruises were enough of a reminder that Seamus would mouth off in class and receive more.
The bruises weren't the only thing goading him on; the guilt about his assignations with Nott only added to it. Every time he let Nott touch him, every time he touched Nott, the guilt grew until he felt like he was stuck between two needs. He hadn't a clue why he felt such an attraction to Nott and he didn't want to find out. The pattern repeated itself constantly since the time last month when Nott had saved him from the Carrows. They would meet, kiss and touch, and then they would withdraw from one another for at least a week before meeting once more.
The meetings felt rather random but they weren't. It was obvious when Seamus found himself lingering around the Great Hall to slip a note into Nott's hands or for Nott to slip one into his that they weren't at all random. It wasn't random that he would hear a conversation that Nott was having regarding studying or his assigned rounds that Seamus would then make sure to place himself somewhere Nott could find him.
Seamus chafed at the bit with the need to go to the Library after Nott had casually mentioned to Parkinson that he was going to be studying tonight. The only thing keeping him in the Common Room was the upcoming episode of Potterwatch. Seamus needed to know where Harry was, needed to know if this whole thing was going to come to an end soon or, at least, get his regular conversations with Dean back.
Then again, maybe Dean wouldn't understand. Lord knows that Dean hadn't had an easy time of it, not even with Ted Tonks there to help him. The last Owl had sounded rather dire and Seamus worried about him. Potterwatch might even have information on some of the Muggleborns on the run so Seamus stayed where he was in the armchair closest to the radio and the fire. Neville used the password given, Albus and the radio crackled to life.
"But before we hear from Royal and Romulus,” Lee went on, “let’s take a
moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network News and
Daily Prophet don’t think important enough to mention. It is with great regret
that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell." That couldn't be. Not at all. Dean was with Ted and he'd just sent an Owl saying everything was all right less than a week ago. Then, Seamus's heart sank as he realised that they were speaking the truth. Dean was with Ted and if Ted were dead than… than… Seamus looked up and saw the same horror he was feeling reflected in Neville's face.
"A goblin by the name of Gornuk was also killed. It is believed that Muggleborn
Dean Thomas and a second goblin, both believed to have been traveling
with Tonks, Cresswell, and Gornuk, may have escaped. If Dean is listening, or
if anyone has any knowledge of his whereabouts, his parents and sisters are
desperate for news." Neville and Seamus hadn't looked away from one another the entire time. Seamus couldn't cope, couldn't be here right now, not with Dean lost or missing or dead.
This was all Voldemort's fault. If he hadn't come back, if he hadn't been such a monster, then they wouldn't have had to deal with all of this.
This was all Harry's fault. If he'd just killed Voldemort, if he hadn't brought the asshole back, then they wouldn't be here.
This was all his mam's fault. If his mam hadn't made him come back to Hogwart's, he would've been out there with Dean. Between the two of them, they were an unstoppable force.
This was all… well, this was all his fault. If he hadn't listened to his mam, hadn't left Dean to fend for himself, Dean wouldn't be missing or dead.
"Meanwhile, in Gaddley, a Muggle family…" Seamus didn't wait to hear what had happened to the family in Gaddley. Instead, he ran out of the Common Room, sprinted along the hallways and down the stairs until he reached the library.
He burst into the library and came to a stop at Madam Pince's glare. He scrambled for a lie and an apology, "Sorry, madam. I just remembered that I forgot my Charms essay."
"Do try to be quieter, please," she said before turning back to the stacks of books.
"Sorry," Seamus apologised once more before walking to the back of the library. He didn't see Nott anywhere and his heart sank. He didn't have anyone here and that hurt even more. There wasn't anyone to really talk to. It wasn't like Neville could understand, not really. He hadn't ever had a best friend; he'd always been off on his own.
Dejected, Seamus walked out of the library with an apologetic nod. He kept his head down as he walked back to the Common Room. It took him a minute to figure out that Nott was walking beside him.
"Go away," Seamus muttered.
"Thought you wanted to see me," Nott whispered back.
"Not a good time."
"You really forget your essay back there, then?" Nott gestured towards the library. Seamus glared. "So you did come to see me."
"Don't want to see you now, though."
"Course you do," Nott said and Seamus punched him before thinking.
"Fuck off, you bastard," Seamus snarled before grabbing Nott and pulling him close. "It's because of fucks like you that Dean's missing. You and your Pureblooded rubbish. I don't want a fucking thing to do with you. Not after this."
Seamus pushed Nott away and then, without a backwards glance, walked towards his Common Room.
~~
The kiss continued and it tasted bittersweet. Seamus knew, deep down, that this was it. Nott was either going to let him go so that he could make it to safety or turn him in. He got his answer when footsteps pounded up the stairs.
Nott let go and, hand still fisted in Seamus's shirt, stepped out from behind the tapestry. "I have him, Professor Carrow."
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.
Author: wook77
Pairing: Theodore Nott/Seamus Finnigan
Wordcount: ~7300
Rating: R
Warnings: DH Compliant
Summary: A seventh year for Seamus means no Dean, no peace, quite a bit of pain and one confusing mess with Theodore Nott.
Author's Notes: Please note that I copied, word for word, one pivotal moment from Deathly Hallows. This section is marked in italics. Obviously, this section is not mine and no profit is made from this. Many thanks to my betas and cheerleaders, yodels and janicechess, without whom, this story wouldn't be nearly as good. All remaining mistakes are, of course, my own. Originally written for hp_springsmut and posted here.
Seamus raced down the hallway, breath catching as he tried to get back to the Common Room. If he could just get there, the rest of Gryffindor would swear he'd been there the whole time. If he could get to the Common Room, McGonagall would swear he'd been there, too. He'd be protected. He'd be safe.
Fucking stupid, he cursed to himself as he ran past a suit of armour. Really fucking stupid. The temptation to paint "Dumbledore's Army - Still Recruiting" one more time had been too great. Seamus had never been one to resist temptation. He was impetuous and that was coming back to bite him in the arse.
He was so screwed if the Carrows got him. They were worse than Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad: they were better trained and had more power. Add in that the professors couldn't stick up for the students like they'd been able to before and Seamus was in for it.
It was just his luck that he'd barely finished when the Carrows themselves rounded the corner. He thanked whatever deity had inspired him to cover his head with a cap he'd borrowed from Dean last year. That way, he could be any of a hundred different students.
His laboured breath seemed to echo in the dark stillness of Hogwarts at three in the morning. Even the paintings were asleep, a blessing that would keep the lie he might have to tell alive. He only had to go up one staircase and race down the hallway -- then there would be just one more set of stairs before safety.
But it wasn't to be.
Just as he reached the last staircase, a hand reached out and grabbed him.
~Eight Months Before~
The train station was beyond crowded as the backlog of students and families tried to check in and prove that they weren't Muggleborns. Not for the first time, Seamus cursed his mam for dragging him back to this shite. He hadn't a clue how she expected him to deal with it. It wasn't like he dealt well with authority on the best of days but to go through this all while knowing that Dean was on the run for his life? That was beyond reason. Course, his mam wouldn't hear a thing about Dean or the unfairness of the Registry or any of that. Oh no, instead, his mam had concentrated on proving that she was Pureblooded and he was half and deserved to be off to Hogwarts.
Seamus cursed under his breath once more and his mam cuffed his ear. "Watch your language! You'll be showing manners here."
"No one here's deserving of manners, bunch of bastards, the lot of 'em." Seamus would've continued but his mam cuffed him once more.
"You want to be on the run like your friend?" She hissed in a low voice and then shot a look around the train station to see if anyone noticed.
"I do, mam, that I do. Better than this traitor shite."
"You want to be hunted? Then keep it up, boyo. Now shut your gob and be smart about it, it's almost our turn." Seamus shut his mouth as his mam handed over their paperwork. The Death Eater asked question after question, each one becoming progressively more intrusive - from name to parentage to just what sort of Muggle his da was to whether Seamus was known to consort with Mudbloods.
"They're Muggleborns and they're just as talented as-- ow!" Seamus's mam stomped on his foot; he glared at her and the Death Eater.
"Don't cause any trouble, boy," the man threatened, laughing darkly. "You'll find out soon enough. Go on through; take your trunk on your own. Help is for the Pure."
The man waved him through; Seamus grabbed his trunk and hefted it through the line and then on to the train. He looked for Neville or Harry or Ron but couldn't find any of them. After finding an open compartment, he hoped that his friends would join him soon enough. Otherwise, it wouldn't just be a lonely train ride, it would be a lonely year.
The door slid open and Neville struggled through. His trunk floated above and landed with a crash onto the rack. After him came Ginny and Luna.
"Wotcher, Seamus," Ginny said with a grin.
"Hello, Seamus, nice to see you." Luna smiled as she levitated her trunk next to Neville's.
"Going to be an interesting year," Seamus said in response and shifted so that Neville could sit next to him while Ginny and Luna sat on the opposite bench.
"Can't believe Harry and…" Ginny's voice trailed off before she slammed the door shut and then cast locking and privacy charms. "Dean not coming?"
"Muggleborn, remember?" He reminded her with a sneer.
"Colin's here so I didn't know if maybe he got forged papers or something like that," Ginny said defensively.
"Yeah, well, he didn't," Seamus spat back.
"So sorry, Seamus - "
"It's going to be tough enough this year," Neville interrupted. "Let's not fight amongst ourselves."
"Yeah, alright," Seamus agreed with a nod. "He's going to be hiding, doesn't want to risk his mum and sisters."
"He'll be fine," Luna said. "He's really rather proficient at charms."
"Is that the trolley? I'll be right back." Seamus stood and left abruptly. He heard them talking as he slid the door shut. He didn't want to talk about what was going on with Dean. He was too worried about it. Hiding was one thing but Dean didn't have anywhere to hide. He was out there all alone and Seamus wanted to be out there with him. Two heads were better than one and all but his mam had made sure he got on the train and that was that.
He was rather distracted as he walked up the narrow corridor and so he didn't see the person stepping out of a compartment.
"Oi! Watch where you're going!" Seamus yelled as he was knocked into the windows on the other side of the hall.
"You'll notice that you bumped into me," was the aristocratic response. Seamus looked over to see Theodore Nott smoothing his shirt and straightening his tie.
"Sod off, wanker, was walking here first, wasn't I?"
"However does anyone understand a word you say?"
Seamus stared as Nott walked off without another word.
~~
"Let me go," Seamus whispered urgently.
"Can't do that." Nott looked resigned. Seamus tugged, trying to loosen the grip.
"You can pretend you didn't see me."
"Can't do that either."
"Please." It was dragged out of him. They wouldn't just Crucio him. They'd hold him up as an example, towards the rest what with Neville in hiding, Ginny and Luna missing and Michael injured. He'd be lucky if they didn't kill him. Hell, he'd probably be better off dead after seeing what they did to Michael.
"Can't." Nott tightened his grip.
~Seven Months Before~
Seamus hated classes, hated them more than ever before. Sure, he'd hated Potions but that was because of Snape more than the whole idea of classes. Now, though, every class was basically the same Death Eater tripe. Even Transfiguration was horrible, something he'd never once thought possible. He'd loved Transfiguration, but now, with McGonagall stuck bowing to Snape and his bunch, he loathed that just as much.
Perhaps mouthing off in Muggle Studies hadn't been the smartest thing. Upon further consideration, it definitely hadn't been the smartest thing. He really wasn't looking forward to detention tonight. The last one had had him aching for days afterwards and the Carrows were only getting crueler as time went by. Neville patted his shoulder as they exited Muggle Studies; the small gesture bolstered him.
By the time they reached the Great Hall for lunch, he had pushed the dread away so that he could concentrate on food as well as the plotting they always did while they ate. Neville and Ginny were already at the table, whispering to one another. Seamus slid onto the bench next to Neville and leaned in.
"We have to do something. They're awful!" Ginny whispered emphatically. Neville and Seamus nodded.
"What about the coins?" Neville asked before fishing his from his pocket. "We could maybe set them up to talk to one another. You still have yours?"
"Yeah, it's in my trunk," Ginny answered. Seamus wondered if he had his any longer. Or if Dean still had his. That'd be one way of talking that didn't involve owls that were screened before being distributed.
"You?"
Seamus shook his head. "Not sure, I'll look when we get back up there, before detention." The dread started to creep back.
"All right, well, look, will you? Luna's got hers and she's going to check with everyone she knows. I'll talk to Parvati and Lavender tonight."
"You think it'll work?" Seamus asked, thinking of how the DA had been caught in the end.
"The Carrows are dumber'n Umbridge, course it'll work." Neville sounded sure of himself. Seamus responded with a grin.
"Can't say that brains run in that family, all right."
The conversation devolved into shared insults at the Carrows' expense and soon, the three of them were laughing hard enough to garner attention. Alecto lumbered over and gripped Seamus and Neville by the back of the necks.
"Detention, all of you. You're up to something!" Alecto walked back towards the professor's table, leaving the three of them to stare at their plates. This was two detentions that Seamus now would have the misfortune to spend with Alecto Carrow.
When Seamus looked up, he caught Nott looking at him. It wasn't a friendly look but neither was it condescending. All it left him with was a confused rumble in his gut. Flushing, he looked away, reaching for a roll though his appetite had fled with the promise of upcoming suffering. When he looked back up, Nott was still staring.
Seamus didn't know whether to wink or glare so he settled on staring until Neville tapped his shoulder. They were going to be late for Charms if they didn't hurry.
~~
"Not like you're all that worried about their opinions anyway," Seamus hissed as he tried to free himself, pulling against that grip.
"I care, Seamus, I care more than you know. You think it's easy to be in there?" Nott pulled him closer and glared at him. "If I let you go, what they'll do to you is nothing compared to what they'll do to me."
"Selfish bastard," Seamus said but he didn't mean it, not completely.
"Fuck you, Finnigan. Fuck you if you think you're any better than me," Nott spat and Seamus reached up and wiped a hand across his face. It was either that or he was going to hit Nott. The thought was tempting but that would only make things worse for him.
"I am better than you. At least I stand up for what I believe instead of going along with the fucks in power." Seamus glared while he spoke and then reached out and grabbed the back of Nott's neck, pinching it tightly. "You're a weak piece of shite."
"You're not making your predicament any better."
"Neither are you."
~Six Months Before~
Seamus tossed his wand down onto the ground with a flourish. "I won't do it."
Amycus Carrow glared at him for a moment and then his expression turned as crafty as it could. The lopsided sneer didn't sit well on his face; Seamus felt a frisson of fear. "If you aren't on one end, you'll be on the other."
Seamus goggled at that. Surely he didn't mean that someone was going to cast Crucio on him. They couldn't do that, could they? That sort of shite wasn't allowed, couldn't be allowed. After looking at Neville and then over to the horror-filled faces of Parvati and Lavender, Seamus looked back at Carrow.
"You," Carrow said, gesturing towards the Slytherins. "You have a new target. Cast."
Goyle lumbered out of the back row and pointed his wand. "Crucio!"
The spell hit Seamus harder than he'd thought possible. He'd heard of the effects but he hadn't realised that they would be this severe. Pain screamed up and down his body, no one place hurting more or less than any other. This was far worse than the time he'd accidentally scorched his hand on the cooker at home, far worse than when he'd spilled a boiling potion on his arm. This was the worst thing to ever happen to him and he couldn't help the scream that came out of his throat.
Goyle released the spell. It had lasted all of perhaps five seconds but felt so much longer than that. Carrow grinned. "Going to try it now?"
"No," Seamus bit out between clenched teeth from his spot on the ground.
"You. Your turn," Carrow said as he beckoned another student forward. Seamus looked up to see Nott standing before him, wand upraised.
"Perhaps, sir, we could try something else? If Goyle can do it, anyone can. I'd like something a bit more difficult." Nott didn't look away from Seamus. Seamus couldn't read that expression, hadn't a clue what it meant but he felt a bit safer all the same. Surely there wasn't anything worse than the Cruciatus Curse, aside from Avada Kedavra, and there wasn't any way that Snape would condone killing a student, half-blood or no. Doubt still hovered, however, and Seamus didn't break the stare.
"Levicorpus, then." Carrow turned to the room and lectured them on the spell's capabilities and the way that the caster could control the victim. "Get 'em dangling in the air and you can do all sorts of things with 'em. Go on, get him up there."
Seamus watched as Nott cast the spell and then the strange eye contact was broken when he was hoisted into the air. He hung there, upside down, as if someone were gripping his foot and wouldn't let go. His robes covered his face and thus, didn't see whatever it was that hit his back. Another object hit him square in the chest and then another followed. The pounding went on for longer than he could judge and then, with a whispered, "Liberacorpus," he plummeted to the ground.
"Class dismissed," Carrow rumbled and then looked to Seamus as he pulled himself off the ground. Seamus hurried out of the room before anything else could happen.
Once Seamus was outside, he hid to the side of the door. When Neville exited and then approached, Seamus waved him off with a shake of his head. He did the same to Lavender and Parvati. The rest of the class walked out and Seamus watched as Nott was the last to exit. Seamus drew close to him and then asked, "Why?"
"Why what?" Nott didn't look at him and didn't slow down.
"Why'd you insist on something else?"
"That's none of your business." Nott turned down a different hallway from everyone else and Seamus followed. Three steps in, when it was obvious that Nott wasn't going to say any more, Seamus grabbed him tightly, turning him around so they were face to face.
"I'll only say this once. Unhand me."
"Not until I get an answer," Seamus said. When Nott started to raise his wand, Seamus held on to the hand with his free one.
"What answer would you like? Perhaps the one that would appeal to your conscience? I didn't cast that spell because it's an evil spell, never to be utilised." Nott sounded sarcastic.
"I want the truth." Seamus leaned in and realised just how very close they were. Nott's face was near enough that he could lean a bit further and be able to press his lips against Nott's, find out how that sneer tasted. The thought and the temptation that swept through him shocked him into silence, making him lose whatever words and accusations he'd been about to speak.
"What makes you think you deserve it?"
"I want to know why you're always staring at me. Why didn't you torture me?" His grip shifted so that he held on to the front of Nott's shirt and leaned in closer so that Nott's breath brushed across his lips. The heartbeat under his hand sped up, making Seamus wonder if maybe, just maybe, Nott might be wondering how he tasted. His cock twitched and started to harden.
"Perhaps I find you repulsive, you and your mixed blood," Nott whispered, but the edge was missing from his voice.
"Liar." Seamus leaned in until their faces were a hairsbreadth away. It was the perfect test as the heartbeat increased again and Seamus bit back the grin that threatened to spread. He started to lean in again, but Nott spoke.
"Perhaps I wonder why you persist in staying here when it's obvious you're not wanted."
"Liar."
"If you are so well-informed as to my motivations, then perhaps you should enlighten me."
It sounded like a dare to Seamus and if there was one thing Seamus couldn't resist, a dare was it. Just as he was about to kiss Nott, the click of shoes sounded and the two leapt apart. His heart raced like he'd just run fifty miles while his palms sweated, the one still tingling with the feel of Nott's wand hand under his.
"Just what is going on here?" McGonagall asked as she approached. "Mister Nott, to your Common Room. Mister Finnigan, come with me."
She turned on her heel and Seamus, with one last look at Nott, hurried after her. They continued until they reached the relative safety of her office. "Mister Finnigan, I understand that you are refusing to complete your lessons."
"That I am, Professor. Ain't no one going to get me to cast that spell on anyone else." Seamus's temper came back as he glared at her.
"As much as I applaud your bravery and ethics, remember that you are in a very tenuous position right now, one that could result in greater harm to you than what you have already incurred."
"You telling me that I should torture people?" Seamus goggled at Professor McGonagall.
"I'm telling you to be more circumspect." She arched an eyebrow at him. "Use that brain of yours and figure out another way, rather than rebellion for the sake of rebellion."
"I can't believe you're telling me to -" Seamus cut himself off as realisation dawned. Of course she wasn't telling him to torture people. He could try what Nott did with suggesting another spell or something. He nodded and her expression softened.
"I can only do so much." For a moment, she sounded so defeated and then her expression cleared. "The next time you are rude to a professor, you will receive detention. Am I clear?"
"Aye, Professor."
"Then to your Common Room. Your punishment is to reflect on what I've told you."
~~
That familiar tension and want swept through him as he looked at Nott. The skin under his hand was warm, much warmer than any cold-hearted snake deserved. The temptation to pull Nott further back and punch him in the face came over him but Seamus pushed it back down. That'd only make things worse, attacking another student was against the rules and not even McGonagall could help him with that.
The temptation to pull him closer was even stronger but Seamus tamped that one down as well.
"You think I'm here to help you?" Nott laughed, the sound cutting through Seamus. "You think you're special enough that I'd risk myself for you?"
"Guess not."
Five Months Before
Christmas was coming soon and it'd been almost a month since Seamus had got that last owl from Dean. Considering that all of the mail was being opened and read by someone, Seamus wondered if maybe someone had finally caught on to the code they used.
When Neville, Ginny and Luna planned on painting DA slogans on the walls near the Great Hall, Seamus told them about his plan to contact Dean to make sure he was all right. When the Gryffindors reached the stairs to the West Tower, they met up with Luna and Seamus broke off with a whisper of, "Be careful."
"You, too, and let Dean know that we're worried about him," Ginny said as the threesome continued down the stairs.
"Yeah, will do." Without a backwards' glance, Seamus hurried up the stairs and through the hallways until he reached the Owlery. The room was much colder than he'd anticipated and he regretted not wearing his scarf. He hadn't wanted it to look like he was planning on being up here if he was caught in the hallways. A scarf would belie that so he hadn't brought that or a coat.
He pulled the letter to Dean out of his pocket and slipped over to his owl. "Make sure this gets to Dean, yeah?"
The owl hooted as Seamus secured the letter. He ran his hand over its feathers, stroking it lightly. He'd missed his owl and considering that no student was allowed in the Owlery without special permission, it had been far too long since they'd been able to spend time together.
"Writing to a Mudblood? That's against the rules." The voice came out of the shadows and it was only then that Seamus noticed Nott standing against the wall. He was so still that if he hadn't spoken, Seamus would never have known he was there.
Rage at the term swamped him but he kept his priorities straight. Seamus tapped his owl and it took off. He hoped that the owl came back with a letter but no matter what, he was doing the best he could to ensure that Dean knew that people cared about him. After the owl was out of sight, Seamus turned and approached Nott, trapping him against the wall. "Going to report me, ye slimy bastard?"
"I should."
"You should also watch your language." It was said low and threateningly and Seamus fisted his hands into Nott's robes, pulling them closer together. Nott was taller than Seamus but Dean was over six foot, so he didn't much care about height differences. Besides, what he lacked in height, he made up for in strength and it was rather easy to pull Nott in. Nott's breath picked up. Seamus could feel his own heart racing with the adrenaline of being caught and this awkward closeness.
"Mud," Nott said deliberately, "Blood."
Seamus pulled him even closer and then pushed backwards, slamming him against the wall. The flinch and bitten off cry was almost enough. Almost but not enough, so Seamus pushed himself forward as well. He slammed Nott against the wall one more time and then, without thought, kissed him. It wasn't the sweet kiss he'd shared with Lavender Brown after the Yule Ball. It wasn't the kisses by the Shannon River at home, hot and passionate and needy. It wasn't like anything he'd ever experienced.
It was angry, so very angry and the passion swept over him before he knew it. He realised he was hard when Nott's thigh pressed against his cock. He was humping Nott's thigh while he pushed them closer and closer. There was too much teeth in this kiss, too many bites and sucking and nips. Too much heat and Seamus ripped his mouth away from Nott, backing up and swiping the back of his hand across his mouth.
"You report me and I'll make sure you'll regret it," he threatened and then hurried down the stairs.
~~
In that moment, Seamus hated Nott more than he hated Crabbe and Goyle, the Carrows, the Ministry and their fucking Muggleborn Registry. He hated everything that had gone wrong in the last year but, by far, he hated the hopelessness and despair the most. Nott, in this moment, personified all of that and Seamus reacted accordingly. Shoving at him, over and over, Seamus backed them up until they were partially hidden in the shadows. In a few minutes, they were sure to be joined by the Carrows and their squad of enforcers. Seamus was fucked if he didn't get away right now, if Nott didn't let go.
~Four Months Before
"Where's Luna?" Seamus asked as Neville, Ginny and Michael Corner joined him in the compartment.
"Not here," Ginny said as luggage banged about until the trunks settled on the rack. They each shared a look that showed just what that answer meant. With their activities at school and the articles in the Quibbler, of course Luna would've been a target. They'd been stupid to not figure that out.
Seamus's mind went back to Dean. The Owls had been so brief and sporadic that they'd barely contained any information at all. Seamus missed Dean, missed the closeness and the easiness of their friendship. It wasn't that Seamus didn't like Neville or didn't think of him as a mate or whatever. It was just that Neville wasn't his best mate and Seamus didn't really feel comfortable telling Neville about this odd thing with Nott. With the limitations of Owl communication, Seamus couldn't even tell Dean.
Instead, he was alone even while surrounded by a compartment full of people. As he looked up, he realised that it was a compartment full of people that were all looking at him oddly. "Yeah, sorry?"
"We asked if you've heard from DT?" Ginny asked. It took Seamus's brain a moment to catch on to the code.
"Oh, aye. Wales." He hoped they'd catch on to his code as well. Neville looked relieved as did Ginny and Seamus grinned. "Found a few mates."
"Good, I wondered," Neville said. The compartment slipped back into silence, breaking only when the trolley came past and they each picked out a few sweets.
Nearly to Hogsmeade, Seamus headed to the loo. He waved off the offers of company as there was always safety in numbers - a lesson learned when Corner had almost been caught while out painting one night last November - and walked down the aisle. Most of the trip was made in relative safety but as he opened the door to the loo, a hand shot out and pulled him in. He fought against the hold, swinging a fist out in the dark and connecting.
"Stop!" Nott's voice made Seamus cease his struggles.
"The fuck you pull me in here for?" Seamus demanded before casting Lumos.
Nott didn't respond, just stared at Seamus before leaning forward and kissing him. The kiss was just as frantic and needy as the last, more teeth and grasping hands, mashed lips and noses bumping. Seamus couldn't keep up with it as Nott pulled at his shirt, tugging it up and over so that his chest was bared. When Nott's fingers pinched his nipple tight between thumb and forefinger, Seamus ripped his mouth away from Nott's and cried out. Nott's hand came up and slammed over Seamus's with a whispered, "Shut your gob unless you want every person on the train looking in here."
"Fuck off," Seamus whispered against the hand and then bit it.
Nott returned the favour by moving so that he could mouth his way over Seamus's chin and then his neck, followed by the collarbone and then his chest. When he reached the nipple he'd pinched, Nott bit it, hard and fast. Seamus was suddenly quite glad for the hand over his mouth as he shouted out the painful pleasure that swept through him. He could feel Nott's grin against his chest and Seamus grabbed him by the shoulders, pushing him away before working on the fastenings of his white shirt and leaving the tie on. Seamus worked on the trousers next, opening them to reveal the black pants against the pale skin. Seamus palmed the bulge, tightening just a bit when Nott's face twisted. When he didn't cry out, Seamus tightened his grip just a bit further. This time, Nott mewled quietly and Seamus's grin turned triumphant.
When Nott lunged forward, the encounter turned in to a quest for dominance, each trying to spur the other on to greater heights. When Seamus wrung a moan out of Nott, Nott made Seamus keen. When Nott bit down on Seamus's shoulder, Seamus bit Nott's ear, sucking in the lobe and nipping the trapped flesh. The rasp of a zipper interrupted and then Seamus's trousers were around his ankles and Nott's hand was on his cock.
"Never would've thought you wouldn't wear pants," Nott breathed against the side of Seamus's head, the air tickling his ear and the short hair around it.
"Going to do anything with that?" Seamus asked with a cocky tone. Nott tightened his grip and twisted his wrist slightly and Seamus saw stars. "Right, then. That's just about right."
"Less talk," Nott said and then tugged. Seamus arched his back, head touching the mirror over the sink while his bare arse rested against the cold ceramic of the sink. The juxtaposition of the cold behind him and the almost too-warm grip on his cock sent Seamus into sensory overload so that all he could do was feel as his hands moved away from Nott to rest on the ceramic. Nott repeated the tug once, twice, three times more and then whispered, "More action."
Seamus came back to himself just enough to realise that merely holding on to the sink for dear life and sanity was probably not the right way to be participating in his first sexual encounter. Instead, he reached out and slipped Nott's pants down so that he had full access to the hard cock in front of him. Keeping a firm grip, Seamus thumbed the tip and it was Nott's turn to have his head fall back, his body arch and his hands to fumble for something to hold on to as Seamus thumbed it once more.
Nott stepped forward, between Seamus's legs, and then thrust, bringing their cocks together so that the back of Seamus's cock rubbed against his knuckles. Seamus moved his hands so that he had both cocks between them and then tugged. Nott's hands came up and gripped his face tightly, palms pressing against Seamus's cheeks, and then kissed him hard. The ceramic under his arse warmed and Seamus missed it, shifting down - and making Nott shift as well - so that another cold spot touched him and then he lost himself to the feel of the way that Nott was kissing him and the way that their cocks rubbed against one another. His balls started to tighten and he moaned as the tension released, making him spill over his entwined hands. He released his own cock and concentrated on Nott's until Nott, too, came.
Before Seamus even had a chance to absorb what had just happened, Nott spelled them clean and dressed, slipping out of the loo while Seamus's bits still tingled with the aftereffects of the spell.
~~
"Let go," Seamus whispered again in their hidden place.
"I won't," Nott responded firmly.
"You did the last time."
~Three Months Before~
Dumbledore's Army - STILL RECRUITING!
Seamus paused to look at their work against the stone walls next to the Great Hall. It was a work of genius that had taken Michael Corner and himself hours to do. Those hours had been well-spent as it was large enough that no one would be able to see anything else every time they approached.
The two boys exchanged triumphant grins and high fives before grabbing up their supplies. It was just in time as the sound of pounding feet came from the stairs that led to the dungeons. The grins turned to twin expressions of horror as they raced up the stairs to get away. The only ones out this late at night were Prefects, the Inquisitorial Squad or the Carrows. They were fucked if they got caught and they knew it well. After their outspokenness in class and the resulting continued castings of Crucio for any perceived infraction, this sort of activity was bound to get them even worse punishment.
Neville had cautioned them to set up warning spells but Seamus had ignored him. Instead, he'd just gone ahead with painting the walls. He should've known, should've fucking known that that damn Mrs. Norris was going to run tattling to Filch and Filch was going to run tattling to the Carrows.
At the break between the two towers, Michael sped off towards Ravenclaw while Seamus headed for Gryffindor. Hopefully they would each make it but at this point, if one were caught outside of their own Common Room, the Carrows would know who had been involved. Seamus hurried up the stairs, just one small hallway to get down and then he'd be safe. He prayed for Michael's safety as he had farther to travel.
He was also mildly ashamed of himself that he prayed they chased Michael because Michael had plenty of space to outrun them whereas Seamus only had the rest of this stair and the hallway, both completely open to anyone who chanced a look up.
His breath heaved in his chest as he ran up the long staircase, making sure to avoid the second, fifth and twelfth steps as they were disappearing steps. Once Seamus made it to the top of the stairs he turned the corner and pressed against the wall. They can't see me, they can't see me, they can't - the thoughts broke off as Seamus was yanked off his feet and behind a tapestry. He turned on his captor only to see Theodore Nott smirking triumphantly at him.
"Gotcha," Nott whispered and Seamus felt a frisson of fear race up his spine. He'd been so certain that he could get away that he hadn't let the fear register for anything other than the burst of speed it would lend him.
"Let me go," Seamus said as he pulled against that grip.
"What'll you give me?" The quirk of an eyebrow and the half-smile made the fear disappear as Seamus was swamped by the memories of the many ways they'd kissed and touched since the train ride coming back from Christmas break.
"What d'ye want?" Seamus grinned as he asked.
"You know what I want."
"You'll have to be clear and explicit, can't help that I'm a dumb Mick." Seamus raised his own eyebrow and Nott pressed a finger against his lips.
The sound of footsteps thundered past while snippets of the winded conversation bled through the tapestry, "I know the little bastard went this way! Come on, we'll get him and then there'll be hell to pay! Hurry it up!"
Once the footsteps disappeared, Seamus licked the finger. Nott pulled it back and pressed it into his own mouth and Seamus's grin spread further. "Never knew Goyle could move that fast."
"You'd be surprised."
"Aye, I'm already surprised." Seamus reached a hand out and fisted it into Nott's robes, pulling him in before pressing a light kiss to Nott's lips. "They would've got me if you hadn't pulled me in here. Thank you."
Nott's expression turned serious and he pushed Seamus away. "Don't ascribe altruistic motives to me else you'll be disappointed."
With that, Nott was gone and Seamus was left wondering what the hell had just happened.
~~
Seamus leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nott's. Instead of pushing against him, Seamus reached up and cupped his face. Though Nott didn't release his hold, he responded and it tasted better than it ever had before. As Nott pulled him in even closer, Seamus forgot about the group chasing him. Instead, he concentrated on the feel of the compulsive clenching against his shoulder and the way that Nott was kissing him.
Nott's tongue swept into Seamus's mouth, hot and wet against his own dry-with-fear tongue. Their tongues tangled together before Seamus's thrust into Nott's mouth, running along the back of Nott's teeth. When they pulled apart for breath, Seamus leaned his forehead against Nott's chin and muttered, "Fuck."
Nott let go of one of Seamus's shoulders before smacking his cheek lightly. He hissed, "Quiet! You want them to hear?"
"No, I want you to let me go," Seamus said but Nott only shook his head before kissing him once more.
~One Month Before~
Ginny hadn't come back. Seamus worried over what had happened to her until the charmed coin he was never without warmed his pocket with the safe message. Neville and Seamus stuck closer together. Neither went anywhere alone unless they had to. If one were assigned detention, at least one of the other DA members made sure that they received detention for the same time. Safety in numbers no longer meant pairs, it meant three or more.
Whatever Seamus went through was nothing compared to what Neville suffered. Seamus glowed with pride every time that Neville spoke up and he shuddered when Neville suffered. Even the sporadic Owls from Dean couldn't quite help. Just like at Hogwarts, the situation out in the rest of the world had grown even more dire.
The only bright spots were the continued broadcasts of Potterwatch. It was obvious to anyone who had been forced to share a loo with them that it was George and Fred Weasley along with Lee Jordan doing the broadcasts. Listening to them inspired Neville and he, in turn, inspired the rest of them. Whenever Seamus wondered, even for an instant, if this whole rebellion thing might've gone too far, Seamus needed only look in the mirror while the two of them got ready for class. The bruises were enough of a reminder that Seamus would mouth off in class and receive more.
The bruises weren't the only thing goading him on; the guilt about his assignations with Nott only added to it. Every time he let Nott touch him, every time he touched Nott, the guilt grew until he felt like he was stuck between two needs. He hadn't a clue why he felt such an attraction to Nott and he didn't want to find out. The pattern repeated itself constantly since the time last month when Nott had saved him from the Carrows. They would meet, kiss and touch, and then they would withdraw from one another for at least a week before meeting once more.
The meetings felt rather random but they weren't. It was obvious when Seamus found himself lingering around the Great Hall to slip a note into Nott's hands or for Nott to slip one into his that they weren't at all random. It wasn't random that he would hear a conversation that Nott was having regarding studying or his assigned rounds that Seamus would then make sure to place himself somewhere Nott could find him.
Seamus chafed at the bit with the need to go to the Library after Nott had casually mentioned to Parkinson that he was going to be studying tonight. The only thing keeping him in the Common Room was the upcoming episode of Potterwatch. Seamus needed to know where Harry was, needed to know if this whole thing was going to come to an end soon or, at least, get his regular conversations with Dean back.
Then again, maybe Dean wouldn't understand. Lord knows that Dean hadn't had an easy time of it, not even with Ted Tonks there to help him. The last Owl had sounded rather dire and Seamus worried about him. Potterwatch might even have information on some of the Muggleborns on the run so Seamus stayed where he was in the armchair closest to the radio and the fire. Neville used the password given, Albus and the radio crackled to life.
"But before we hear from Royal and Romulus,” Lee went on, “let’s take a
moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network News and
Daily Prophet don’t think important enough to mention. It is with great regret
that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell." That couldn't be. Not at all. Dean was with Ted and he'd just sent an Owl saying everything was all right less than a week ago. Then, Seamus's heart sank as he realised that they were speaking the truth. Dean was with Ted and if Ted were dead than… than… Seamus looked up and saw the same horror he was feeling reflected in Neville's face.
"A goblin by the name of Gornuk was also killed. It is believed that Muggleborn
Dean Thomas and a second goblin, both believed to have been traveling
with Tonks, Cresswell, and Gornuk, may have escaped. If Dean is listening, or
if anyone has any knowledge of his whereabouts, his parents and sisters are
desperate for news." Neville and Seamus hadn't looked away from one another the entire time. Seamus couldn't cope, couldn't be here right now, not with Dean lost or missing or dead.
This was all Voldemort's fault. If he hadn't come back, if he hadn't been such a monster, then they wouldn't have had to deal with all of this.
This was all Harry's fault. If he'd just killed Voldemort, if he hadn't brought the asshole back, then they wouldn't be here.
This was all his mam's fault. If his mam hadn't made him come back to Hogwart's, he would've been out there with Dean. Between the two of them, they were an unstoppable force.
This was all… well, this was all his fault. If he hadn't listened to his mam, hadn't left Dean to fend for himself, Dean wouldn't be missing or dead.
"Meanwhile, in Gaddley, a Muggle family…" Seamus didn't wait to hear what had happened to the family in Gaddley. Instead, he ran out of the Common Room, sprinted along the hallways and down the stairs until he reached the library.
He burst into the library and came to a stop at Madam Pince's glare. He scrambled for a lie and an apology, "Sorry, madam. I just remembered that I forgot my Charms essay."
"Do try to be quieter, please," she said before turning back to the stacks of books.
"Sorry," Seamus apologised once more before walking to the back of the library. He didn't see Nott anywhere and his heart sank. He didn't have anyone here and that hurt even more. There wasn't anyone to really talk to. It wasn't like Neville could understand, not really. He hadn't ever had a best friend; he'd always been off on his own.
Dejected, Seamus walked out of the library with an apologetic nod. He kept his head down as he walked back to the Common Room. It took him a minute to figure out that Nott was walking beside him.
"Go away," Seamus muttered.
"Thought you wanted to see me," Nott whispered back.
"Not a good time."
"You really forget your essay back there, then?" Nott gestured towards the library. Seamus glared. "So you did come to see me."
"Don't want to see you now, though."
"Course you do," Nott said and Seamus punched him before thinking.
"Fuck off, you bastard," Seamus snarled before grabbing Nott and pulling him close. "It's because of fucks like you that Dean's missing. You and your Pureblooded rubbish. I don't want a fucking thing to do with you. Not after this."
Seamus pushed Nott away and then, without a backwards glance, walked towards his Common Room.
~~
The kiss continued and it tasted bittersweet. Seamus knew, deep down, that this was it. Nott was either going to let him go so that he could make it to safety or turn him in. He got his answer when footsteps pounded up the stairs.
Nott let go and, hand still fisted in Seamus's shirt, stepped out from behind the tapestry. "I have him, Professor Carrow."
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought.