Interlude - Fear (H/D) (PG)
The promised interlude. This was written forse_spotwood's Fright Fest Challenge
Your fic or art must have a scary theme. (death not required) It must take place on or very near Halloween. Both slash and het are welcome. Fics must be 500 words minimum.
Story details:
Title: Fear
Rating: PG
Pairing: H/D
Warnings: Phobia, Self-Harm (due to phobia), Hurt/Comfort, mild Fluff
Summary: Set in my Voice in the Dark WiP, Harry is forced to confront his fear.
A/N: This might not be scary for any of you. However, the situation described is my phobia and my worst fear so it's quite scary for me. This is set between Parts 3 & 4 of Voice in the Dark.
As always, concrit welcomed with open arms!
Also archived at: Skyehawke and The Hex Files
Previous parts located HERE
“Hello?” Harry’s voice was small. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was afraid of being left alone in the dark but he was. In fact, he was terrified. This time of the year had always been rough for him, bad things happened near Halloween. His blindness was one of the worst. He was stuck in a never-ending sea of dark and the idea that he would never see again exacerbated his fear of the dark.
“Draco?” No one answered him back.
“Madame Pomfrey?” It was a long shot but Harry really needed someone there. No, Harry corrected himself, he wanted Draco. He wanted his Voice back. It was scary being alone in the dark. Harry was adapting to being blind, or at least he was trying, but in the middle of the night, it was scary.
It was a fear he didn’t want to admit to, but he was afraid of the dark. The dark reminded him of years of not being loved. It reminded him of the cupboard under the stairs. It reminded him of being a freak. It took him back to a time when his parents were dead in a vehicle accident and he was alone with the Dursleys. Harry hated the dark but he hated his fear more.
“Anyone? Is there anyone there?” Harry’s fear was starting to magnify.
“Please?” The last was a whispered plea. Harry’s breath became shallow pants as he confronted his fear of the dark. The idea that he was in a bedroom disappeared and all Harry could think was that he was back in his cupboard.
As Harry lay there, he could feel the slight crawling on his skin. He brushed his hands up and down his arms and his legs. Shaking took over his whole body. He could feel the spiders crawling all over him. Truly trying his best, Harry kept concentrating on the fact that he was seventeen, not five, that he was in a warm bedroom in his own house and not in a small chilly cupboard, that the scratchy feeling was from a wool blanket, not insects and spiders crawling on him.
His fear started to overwhelm his rational mind. It was dark and scary and he was a child. Nails scored his arms and legs in frantic gestures. In places, Harry’s nails cut through and he started to bleed. The blood added to the crawling sensation and he raked and rubbed harder and harder at his torso and appendages.
The crawling feeling moved into his hair. Soon, his hands were raking across his scalp. They tore through his hair and started pulling and wrenching. Warm blood trickled behind his ear from the cuts. Harry scrubbed all the harder because he could feel the insects trying to get into his ears. They were marching down his neck, behind his ear.
Whimpers sounded from his terrified figure as it lay shivering on the bed. The guttural sounds didn’t translate into words as Harry continued to abuse his body. Blankets were kicked off in the midst of the terror. Legs kicked and shook in the air to try to dislodge the night frights possessing his body.
“Someone? Please, let me out. I won’t do it again. Please, someone?” In his frantic terror, Harry didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t hear the footsteps racing over to him.
“Harry? I’m here. Come on now, Harry. Everything’s fine.” A gentle hand rubbed up and down Harry’s side as he trembled on the bed. The other hand pushed Harry’s legs back onto the bed.
The bed sank a little as Draco sat on the edge. It continued to shift as Draco moved to lean against the headboard. Harry crawled over and put his head in the lap. Draco’s hands brushed over Harry’s hair. It soothed the scratches and comforted Harry.
“Don’t leave me alone in the dark.”
“I would never do that, Harry. It’s alright now, I’m here. Go back to sleep.” Draco moved so that he was lying down. Harry curled around Draco.
“Will you be here?” Harry hated the fact that he sounded like he was five years old. He stopped hating himself when Draco put his arms around him. Being held like this made everything better.
“Where else would I be?”
On to PART 4
ETA: I have been asked to expand on the phobia. I am absolutely phobic about bugs. I have actually passed out in mid-scream when a swarm of ants crawled up my arm. Harry's reaction is actually a discription of my own personal experiences. In the past, I've actually pulled out hair and given myself horrible cuts because I can feel "them" crawling on me. After quite a bit of counseling, I'm not quite as phobic as I was when I was younger (ie college days). So, although maybe not your experience, Harry's reaction is quite appropriate and accurate for my own experiences.
Request - Anyone talented at making icons want to make me an icon that says "Voice in the Dark"? I'll love you forever and will gladly sing your praises! I'm willing to bribe within reason...
Finally - a recc of a story I just finished reading. cutecoati wrote Borrowed Time. This story is OMG beautiful and tragic. Posted at the wizard_trauma community, it is in response to the challenge of "Character A deals with the loss of a spouse/significant other". Draco deals with the loss of Harry (obvious warning: Character Death). By the end, I had tears streaming down my face. I'm now splotchy faced and it's all cutecoati's fault.
Your fic or art must have a scary theme. (death not required) It must take place on or very near Halloween. Both slash and het are welcome. Fics must be 500 words minimum.
Story details:
Title: Fear
Rating: PG
Pairing: H/D
Warnings: Phobia, Self-Harm (due to phobia), Hurt/Comfort, mild Fluff
Summary: Set in my Voice in the Dark WiP, Harry is forced to confront his fear.
A/N: This might not be scary for any of you. However, the situation described is my phobia and my worst fear so it's quite scary for me. This is set between Parts 3 & 4 of Voice in the Dark.
As always, concrit welcomed with open arms!
Also archived at: Skyehawke and The Hex Files
Previous parts located HERE
“Hello?” Harry’s voice was small. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was afraid of being left alone in the dark but he was. In fact, he was terrified. This time of the year had always been rough for him, bad things happened near Halloween. His blindness was one of the worst. He was stuck in a never-ending sea of dark and the idea that he would never see again exacerbated his fear of the dark.
“Draco?” No one answered him back.
“Madame Pomfrey?” It was a long shot but Harry really needed someone there. No, Harry corrected himself, he wanted Draco. He wanted his Voice back. It was scary being alone in the dark. Harry was adapting to being blind, or at least he was trying, but in the middle of the night, it was scary.
It was a fear he didn’t want to admit to, but he was afraid of the dark. The dark reminded him of years of not being loved. It reminded him of the cupboard under the stairs. It reminded him of being a freak. It took him back to a time when his parents were dead in a vehicle accident and he was alone with the Dursleys. Harry hated the dark but he hated his fear more.
“Anyone? Is there anyone there?” Harry’s fear was starting to magnify.
“Please?” The last was a whispered plea. Harry’s breath became shallow pants as he confronted his fear of the dark. The idea that he was in a bedroom disappeared and all Harry could think was that he was back in his cupboard.
As Harry lay there, he could feel the slight crawling on his skin. He brushed his hands up and down his arms and his legs. Shaking took over his whole body. He could feel the spiders crawling all over him. Truly trying his best, Harry kept concentrating on the fact that he was seventeen, not five, that he was in a warm bedroom in his own house and not in a small chilly cupboard, that the scratchy feeling was from a wool blanket, not insects and spiders crawling on him.
His fear started to overwhelm his rational mind. It was dark and scary and he was a child. Nails scored his arms and legs in frantic gestures. In places, Harry’s nails cut through and he started to bleed. The blood added to the crawling sensation and he raked and rubbed harder and harder at his torso and appendages.
The crawling feeling moved into his hair. Soon, his hands were raking across his scalp. They tore through his hair and started pulling and wrenching. Warm blood trickled behind his ear from the cuts. Harry scrubbed all the harder because he could feel the insects trying to get into his ears. They were marching down his neck, behind his ear.
Whimpers sounded from his terrified figure as it lay shivering on the bed. The guttural sounds didn’t translate into words as Harry continued to abuse his body. Blankets were kicked off in the midst of the terror. Legs kicked and shook in the air to try to dislodge the night frights possessing his body.
“Someone? Please, let me out. I won’t do it again. Please, someone?” In his frantic terror, Harry didn’t hear the door open. He didn’t hear the footsteps racing over to him.
“Harry? I’m here. Come on now, Harry. Everything’s fine.” A gentle hand rubbed up and down Harry’s side as he trembled on the bed. The other hand pushed Harry’s legs back onto the bed.
The bed sank a little as Draco sat on the edge. It continued to shift as Draco moved to lean against the headboard. Harry crawled over and put his head in the lap. Draco’s hands brushed over Harry’s hair. It soothed the scratches and comforted Harry.
“Don’t leave me alone in the dark.”
“I would never do that, Harry. It’s alright now, I’m here. Go back to sleep.” Draco moved so that he was lying down. Harry curled around Draco.
“Will you be here?” Harry hated the fact that he sounded like he was five years old. He stopped hating himself when Draco put his arms around him. Being held like this made everything better.
“Where else would I be?”
On to PART 4
ETA: I have been asked to expand on the phobia. I am absolutely phobic about bugs. I have actually passed out in mid-scream when a swarm of ants crawled up my arm. Harry's reaction is actually a discription of my own personal experiences. In the past, I've actually pulled out hair and given myself horrible cuts because I can feel "them" crawling on me. After quite a bit of counseling, I'm not quite as phobic as I was when I was younger (ie college days). So, although maybe not your experience, Harry's reaction is quite appropriate and accurate for my own experiences.
Request - Anyone talented at making icons want to make me an icon that says "Voice in the Dark"? I'll love you forever and will gladly sing your praises! I'm willing to bribe within reason...
Finally - a recc of a story I just finished reading. cutecoati wrote Borrowed Time. This story is OMG beautiful and tragic. Posted at the wizard_trauma community, it is in response to the challenge of "Character A deals with the loss of a spouse/significant other". Draco deals with the loss of Harry (obvious warning: Character Death). By the end, I had tears streaming down my face. I'm now splotchy faced and it's all cutecoati's fault.