Ask woofer #21: "Daddy's Gone"
Concerned leatherman from the north, mathan would like some insight:
"What would be your advice to a sub who is in a fairly significant D/s relationship however it is defined, to prepare themselves for the possibility of their dominant passing away?
I know this is a scenario that has run through my head a number of times and I know this is something my Master has done a good job of trying to prepare His subs for should something happen."
Alas, this is an area that i have some experience with, but i'm not sure if i can offer any real advice. As you may know, i lost my Dadbear quite suddenly in December of 2005. i was shocked, lost, cut adrift...i'll let you read the rest. i went through all the steps, but how could i be prepared? To be honest, i don't know if i could.
Dad had just retired from trucking - early!! - and was looking forward to having some fun. Now that he wasn't driving for a living, he could allow himself to have a couple of beers which this boy gladly recycled for Him and chill out and have some kinky fun. He was a big kid at heart and that heart was as big as all outdoors...until it suddenly gave out. You can't prepare for sudden death. You can make plans, set up wills, what happens if you're on a machine, things like that. But if it happens suddenly, it just hits you like a ton of bricks and no one can be ready for that. In your case, you've got your husbear, Scotty, like i have Matthew and he will be your rock as you find yourself cast adrift. Another advantage you have is your very large extended leather family. They will all come together to support one another. But you will find a big, gaping hole in your life and your soul. That Sir/Master/Daddy who gave you guidance and added structure to your life will be suddenly gone. You'll ask yourself, "What do i do now?" and the Man that you turned to for answers won't be there to provide that answer. So you carry on. You'll grieve, but eventually you'll pull yourself together. You may find another Dom to serve, but it will never be the same. It never can. But you won't be able to help comparing Him to Him. So the only advice i can give is that when you serve others, serve them in a manner that would make your past Master proud. That's what i do. i always ask myself, "Dadbear trained this boy...am i serving at a level of dedication that would make Him proud of His boy?" And that makes me a better boy and it makes me a better man and it will make me a better Dad to another boy. The lessons live on and so do our memories. *hugz*
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