It's the very nature of a relationship, to end.
I wanted to take a minute to revisit a post I made two years ago... Mostly because it seems an appropriate reminder for what some friends going through:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -- Neil Gaiman
Truer sentiment may have never been put to words...
But, a few months back [original reference previous to March, 2008] I was driving to see some friends with rustitobuck and he enlightened me with, possibly the most profound statement of fact that I've ever heard... Something which I've mulled over, focused on and expanded my interpretation of, in the time since. He said to me, "It's the very nature of a relationship, to end."
Be that end, after a few passionate days, or a lifetime of gentle touches and tender moments... No matter how long we are with someone else, in the end, every single one of us dies very much so alone. And the key isn't to avoid the being alone, but to come to love yourself as much as you love others so that, when that time comes, there's a lifetime of happiness and perfect moments to accompany us. In essence... We have to accept that the end will come. In whatever form, it WILL come. And every moment that you waste focusing on the specifics of how and when, is a moment which could have been spent enjoying the time you have.
Love... what you have. WHATEVER you have. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Learn to love, Love.
And when that end comes, as it inevitably will... THEN, you can take your time to mourn the loss, to feel your pain, to accept that end... to just... ALLOW yourself the time you need to process. But don't dwell, don't get lost in it. Because... In the end, if you did it right: The smiles outnumbered the frowns, The laughter overwhelmed the tears, The good times outweighed the bad, And without question... The love gained, overcame the love lost.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -- Neil Gaiman
Truer sentiment may have never been put to words...
But, a few months back [original reference previous to March, 2008] I was driving to see some friends with rustitobuck and he enlightened me with, possibly the most profound statement of fact that I've ever heard... Something which I've mulled over, focused on and expanded my interpretation of, in the time since. He said to me, "It's the very nature of a relationship, to end."
Be that end, after a few passionate days, or a lifetime of gentle touches and tender moments... No matter how long we are with someone else, in the end, every single one of us dies very much so alone. And the key isn't to avoid the being alone, but to come to love yourself as much as you love others so that, when that time comes, there's a lifetime of happiness and perfect moments to accompany us. In essence... We have to accept that the end will come. In whatever form, it WILL come. And every moment that you waste focusing on the specifics of how and when, is a moment which could have been spent enjoying the time you have.
Love... what you have. WHATEVER you have. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Learn to love, Love.
And when that end comes, as it inevitably will... THEN, you can take your time to mourn the loss, to feel your pain, to accept that end... to just... ALLOW yourself the time you need to process. But don't dwell, don't get lost in it. Because... In the end, if you did it right: The smiles outnumbered the frowns, The laughter overwhelmed the tears, The good times outweighed the bad, And without question... The love gained, overcame the love lost.