(no subject)
I continue to disappoint myself in the stupid things I say that hurt people, despite the fact I try not to. There is one friend in particular, she is from online, we've been chatting for probably close to about 5 years now and have also talked on the phone. And just the for the record, we're only friends, its nothing romantic and she is married. I do care a lot about her and share everything with her, she always offers support and advice. Some of which isn't what I want to hear, but is usually if not always right.
Despite our solid friendship I often say things that upset her, and she just recently started talking to me again. And yesterday, I blew it AGAIN already.
All the factors involved is hard to explain but will try and make sense of it.
A couple months ago she told me that she was pregnant with twins, and I know that she has lost some babies before, so pregnancies are sensitive with her. And I totally respect that and tried to offer all the prayers and support I could.
In the time that we weren't talking, and I didn't become aware of this until after, she lost the twins. Of course my heart aches for her and I know thats its very traumatic. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody.
She also has a profile on My Space, and in the last few weeks she had a picture posted of a woman that I didn't recognize as her. She often talked of her small body and frame, and the last picture I had seen of her she was thin. While we were talking she had mentioned gaining weight with the twins but it was hard for me to imagine, though I know extra pounds is an effect of pregnancy. And the picture that was posted on My Space was a woman with a 'chubby' face, and I really didn't recognize it as her. Thought it might be someone else. she doesn't reveal a lot of pictures of herself so I didn't know.
Anyway, yesterday we were having a nice chat, just like old times, and I asked if it was her picture, and she said it was and from while she was pregnant with the twins.
And then I made another one of my thoughtless STUPID comments, I said, "No offense, but you did gain some weight."
Looking back now of course I feel terrible about saying it, but I didn't mean it like it sounds. Meant it in kind of a joking manner, because I know women are always concerned about their weight, especially when pregnant. And I had never pictured her as being big. It's so stupid I can't even really explain what I meant by it, but I had no intention of being rude.
She of course went off on me, and as is understandable was hurt by the comment, especially since the babies were lost. She said no friend would EVER say anything like that, and while she always tries to build me up I just put her down. I don't know how to treat friends.
I couldn't argue, because she's right. I try to always be nice and caring to others, especially my friends, but I always screw up.
I just can't say anything right to her.
Despite our solid friendship I often say things that upset her, and she just recently started talking to me again. And yesterday, I blew it AGAIN already.
All the factors involved is hard to explain but will try and make sense of it.
A couple months ago she told me that she was pregnant with twins, and I know that she has lost some babies before, so pregnancies are sensitive with her. And I totally respect that and tried to offer all the prayers and support I could.
In the time that we weren't talking, and I didn't become aware of this until after, she lost the twins. Of course my heart aches for her and I know thats its very traumatic. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody.
She also has a profile on My Space, and in the last few weeks she had a picture posted of a woman that I didn't recognize as her. She often talked of her small body and frame, and the last picture I had seen of her she was thin. While we were talking she had mentioned gaining weight with the twins but it was hard for me to imagine, though I know extra pounds is an effect of pregnancy. And the picture that was posted on My Space was a woman with a 'chubby' face, and I really didn't recognize it as her. Thought it might be someone else. she doesn't reveal a lot of pictures of herself so I didn't know.
Anyway, yesterday we were having a nice chat, just like old times, and I asked if it was her picture, and she said it was and from while she was pregnant with the twins.
And then I made another one of my thoughtless STUPID comments, I said, "No offense, but you did gain some weight."
Looking back now of course I feel terrible about saying it, but I didn't mean it like it sounds. Meant it in kind of a joking manner, because I know women are always concerned about their weight, especially when pregnant. And I had never pictured her as being big. It's so stupid I can't even really explain what I meant by it, but I had no intention of being rude.
She of course went off on me, and as is understandable was hurt by the comment, especially since the babies were lost. She said no friend would EVER say anything like that, and while she always tries to build me up I just put her down. I don't know how to treat friends.
I couldn't argue, because she's right. I try to always be nice and caring to others, especially my friends, but I always screw up.
I just can't say anything right to her.