breaking the rules.
MONDAY MONSTER MOVIE MANIA
The Day: February 2nd, 2009
The Film: Skinned Deep (2004)
The Details: USA, 97 minutes
The Monster of Choice: Human-based, test-tube created, backwoods family
The Director: Gabe Bartalos
The Stars: Forrest J Ackerman, Warwick Davis, Jay Dugre's package
The Rockwells are on their way to a very educational vacation when a blow-out causes them to stop off at a smalltown diner to find for help.
What they really find is Granny and an invitation to her house where her 'brother' can fix their van. This naive family stumbles down the hill to
the run down house where they will all be slashed apart during dinner by the Surgeon General. All for Tina. The Brain love Tina and doesn't allow her to die. Instead she is boarded up in a room all alone while the Brain courts her. From there it's a battle between senior citizen bikers and this backwoods family with Tina in the middle.
Skinned Deep has plenty of terrific moments, usually in relation to the make-up or special effects. The rest (dialogue, acting, sets, audio, direction, etc.), though, is shit.
Pros:
Drinking PBR while driving
Getting super excited about a Super Nintendo that is not hooked up and has no game cartridges in sight
The Brain's musical theme by Captain Sensible
Puke scene that breaks the fourth wall
Metal jaws
Plate throwing (as well as Plates himself)
Body splitting
Huge external brains
Strangling cats
The Brain's balls
The crunching sound of metal jaws biting off human fingers
Exploding heads
Exploding heart camera
SHAKES and everything about him
Head removal, drinking of blood, kicking of decapitated head
The Creator, DYNO-MITE!!
Body melt
Cons:
The first five and a half minutes
The music by David Davidson
Linda Weinrib looks like Lisa Lampanelli
The blown out tire on the van which did not exist in any of the external shots of the van as it swerved off the road
Some idiot actually had "SD" burned into their skin
The Brain's dick
The shitty Sean Connery accent used by The Creator
Tina clearly wearing protective goggles while smashing up The Creator's lair
Worst. Kick. Ever.
Screaming "NO!" throughout the credits
Overall: 5.9/10.0
Tina: You wont stop killing?
The Brain: I can't stop killing.