Americana
wow...my very first post here...*nervous laugh*
Title: Americana: Open for Business
Fandom: Original
Word Count: 1,566
Rating: PG-13 for mature language
"Stop playin' with the cigarettes, fuckface."
"Don't call me fuckface"
"And get from behind the counter; you don't work here so you shouldn't be there."
"All right already...Jesus" Jimmy slid over the counter and began playing with the lighters instead. He glared at Sam and lazily mimicked his voice, "You don't work here, you don't work here" he returned to his normal voice, which had a heavier southern accent than Sam. "Psh, you hardly fuckin' work here..."
"What was that fuckface?"
Jimmy flung a smiley face covered Zippo lighter at Sam and in a whiny voice shouted, "Man, stop callin' me fuckface!"
"Then don't throw the merchandise!"
"Then don't call me fuckf-"
They quieted as the bells tied to the convenient store's door jangled and a wave of heat from the Georgia night passed through the entrance. Sam put on a friendly smile and spoke clearly, "Hello Officer Morgan."
Officer Morgan crossed over to the candy aisle, across from where Sam was stocking stale Little Debbie boxes on the shelf. "How are you boys doing this evening?" Officer Morgan was one of the few male cops in this county without a 1970's porn star moustache. He didn't have that characteristic accent that betrayed he'd lived in this Podunk town his whole live, because he hadn't. Three months ago Officer Daniel Morgan transferred from the Florida area, and had given everyone hell with his hotshot attitude. He wasn't a flaming racist like most of the cops in that town, but he sure as shit made up for it with pure asshole-ism.
"Just fine, sir, and how are you?"
"Shitty is how I'm doing boys. I'm up to my ass in inbred misfits like you lot."
Jimmy laughed thickly. "We ain't inbred. Misfits, maybe, but we sure ain't inbr-"
"I don't recall talking to you." He rested a hand on his taser gun and Sam shot Jimmy a 'please shut the fuck up' look and Jimmy smiled and nodded that he was done talking. The cops around there would taser you for letting your dog piss on the wrong curb, and they would whip out their guns for just about anything. Everytime you saw a cop it was seconds before they were running after someone for supposedly breaking the law...you could practically hear the cheesy 70's cop chase music as they ripped their guns unskillfully out of their holsters for looking at them the wrong way. Rumors had it once that the Bibb County cops had sat in a circle tasering this high school kid for hours just because he'd been smoking a doobie behind the local Wal-Mart.
Officer Morgan turned his attention to his partner outside, who was shouting at a torn-up Chevy low-rider doing donuts in the parking lot across the street. He moved his hand to his walkie-talkie and began walking towards the door. "Cheryl...I think we've got a lively one here...permission to open fire?"
Through the crackle of his walkie talkie a bored voice droned out, "Whatever." And it wasn't seconds before Officer Morgan was out the door and pulling a military issue shotgun - which they weren't supposed to even have access to unless a riot had broken out or there was a hostage situation - out of the patrol car trunk.
Jimmy burst into laughter. "Just fine sir? What the hell was that? I mean, I know the pigs get worse and worse but-"
"Pigs? What decade are you in over there?"
"Shut up and stock your shelves! We're making fun of you here goodie-fuckin'-two-shoes."
Sam decided not to egg Jimmy on and didn't reply with another insult. Instead, he turned to the small tussle outside as the officers got into their cruiser and sped after the people who had honestly done next to nothing. "Shut up man."
"You're such a fuckin' pussy! Yes sir, sorry sir,"
"Dammit, be quiet!" Sam was now looking out the window at Charlie, or Charlene, who was walking over to the payphone.
Jimmy laughed on obliviously, "anything you say sir, lemme wipe your ass sir!" he laughed at his own joke and leaned against the counter.
"Shh!"
Jimmy continued in a mocking tone, "Of course sir. Why, yes, sir...I will play with your balls sir."
"Man, shut the fuck up! That's Charlie."
"Charlie? The chick that sucked your dick?" Jimmy ran over by the window and immediately laughed. "Man, I knew you had no charm."
"What?"
Jimmy laughed again, and leaned against the window. "You made it sound like you'd charmed this chick or somethin' but that girl there," he gestured at her through the window behind him, "is Charlene Sawyer"
"And?"
"Charlene fucking Sawyer. That girl is the biggest fuckin' slut on this side of Hickville. C'mon man!" He waved his hands in the air emphatically before crossing them back over his chest. "You can't tell me you hadn't heard the folk-lore, or better said, fuck-lore on Charlie Sawyer. Where have you been my man?"
Sam glanced back at the girl, who was still on the phone, and looked back to Jimmy, shaking his head. "No I haven't."
"Well, I'm sure you've heard some of the stories...I mean, that there's gossip for ya, right? Same person, different names...anyway...you know that gym teacher that got fired last year?"
"The one that had nothin' but eleventh grade classes?"
"That's him."
"Yeah...well?"
"Well, listen here" he leaned forward, as if it were some government sized conspiracy he was talking about."The reasons he got fired is for relations with a minor."
"And"
"And...Charlie's a minor." Jimmy spread his hands in midair as if to say 'D'ya get, huh? D'ya get it?'
Sam laughed and went back to stocking the shelves. "God Dammit Jimmy, sometimes you're just such a dumbass."
"Hey!"
"Them rumors don't mean jack shit."
"Well...what about all the times I've heard guys talkin' about losin' their virginity to her in broom closets, behind stores, on va-"
"Like they couldn't be lying?"
"W-"
"Like that time you lied about fuckin' Jamie Cross?"
"Well, th-"
The doorbells jangled again as Charlie walked in, pushing her hair behind her ears. She gave Sam a tiny smile - one so small that Sam thought it might have been a figment of his imagination - before walking back to the sodas and opening the cooler door to glance over the drinks. Sam walked up to the counter, ready to ring up her things when she'd decided.
Picking up a Crystal Pepsi she glanced up to the counter, "I thought they stopped selling these back in '93."
"They did, the assistant manager just found an old box of 'em in storage last week."
She nodded, noting the worn of label and murky look of the once clear soda and muttered, "God damn...that's..." Setting it back in its place she picked up a RC Cola and walked up to the counter.
"How've you been, since..." Sam scanned the bottle and waited for an answer as she pawed through the gum.
"Good." she said, glancing back at Jimmy who was casually making his way up to the counter.
"So, you're in senior year, right?" Sam leaned on the counter, watching her slow movements closely.
"Yeah"
"Me too."
Jimmy stood closely behind her and leaned over her shoulder, chewing his gum loudly. "Hi." He raised both eyebrows quickly and dropped them back to their normal position.
She frowned at him and shifted uncomfortably, "Hi."
"You, uh, you'd best try that gum if you're lookin' to blow...bubbles" he raised his eyebrows again and ignored Sam's look of complete horror.
'Don't speak...shut up now Jimmy!' internally Sam was dying slowly, wishing he could develop psychic powers then and there to shut Jimmy's mouth, but tried to keep a smile on his face - though his smile hardly curbed the horror that was still in his eyes. 'You are not being smooth, you lil' bastard, so shut your damn mouth'
Confidently and nonchalantly Jimmy filled his momentarily ex-best friend's current worst nightmare. "Did'ya really suck Sam's cock?"
With that comment Sam's face contorted to a look that made it seem as though his nuts were in a vice and she let out a laugh with a hint of insult in it. "Yeah." She looked back up to Sam and sat the gum farthest from what Jimmy had pointed out onto the counter. "Jimmy, I'm guessin'?"
A nod was all Sam could manage through the shock at the extent of dumbass-ness of his friend.
"You were right about him." she decided, knowingly.
Another nod as he pushed her unpaid for items towards her, "Just take it."
Jimmy laughed, "He wants to be alone while he dies inside."
Charlie laughed too, stuffing the gum in her pocket and taking the soda bottle in her right hand. When Jimmy backed up, giving her space to leave without rubbing too closely against him she leaned forward over the counter and whispered in Sam's ear, "It ain't that big of a deal. I'd figured you'd tell someone anyhow." She gave him a reassuring smile and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. She walked to the door, pausing in thought, then turned to face Sam, "There's gonna be another party at David's in two days, maybe I'll see you there." She turned again and left.
"We're going." Jimmy said, in a no questions voice. Not that Sam planned to despute his friend's decision.
Americana: Part 2
Americana: A Very Jimmy Drabble
Americana: Yesteryears Installment 1
Americana: Yesteryears Installment 2
Title: Americana: Open for Business
Fandom: Original
Word Count: 1,566
Rating: PG-13 for mature language
"Stop playin' with the cigarettes, fuckface."
"Don't call me fuckface"
"And get from behind the counter; you don't work here so you shouldn't be there."
"All right already...Jesus" Jimmy slid over the counter and began playing with the lighters instead. He glared at Sam and lazily mimicked his voice, "You don't work here, you don't work here" he returned to his normal voice, which had a heavier southern accent than Sam. "Psh, you hardly fuckin' work here..."
"What was that fuckface?"
Jimmy flung a smiley face covered Zippo lighter at Sam and in a whiny voice shouted, "Man, stop callin' me fuckface!"
"Then don't throw the merchandise!"
"Then don't call me fuckf-"
They quieted as the bells tied to the convenient store's door jangled and a wave of heat from the Georgia night passed through the entrance. Sam put on a friendly smile and spoke clearly, "Hello Officer Morgan."
Officer Morgan crossed over to the candy aisle, across from where Sam was stocking stale Little Debbie boxes on the shelf. "How are you boys doing this evening?" Officer Morgan was one of the few male cops in this county without a 1970's porn star moustache. He didn't have that characteristic accent that betrayed he'd lived in this Podunk town his whole live, because he hadn't. Three months ago Officer Daniel Morgan transferred from the Florida area, and had given everyone hell with his hotshot attitude. He wasn't a flaming racist like most of the cops in that town, but he sure as shit made up for it with pure asshole-ism.
"Just fine, sir, and how are you?"
"Shitty is how I'm doing boys. I'm up to my ass in inbred misfits like you lot."
Jimmy laughed thickly. "We ain't inbred. Misfits, maybe, but we sure ain't inbr-"
"I don't recall talking to you." He rested a hand on his taser gun and Sam shot Jimmy a 'please shut the fuck up' look and Jimmy smiled and nodded that he was done talking. The cops around there would taser you for letting your dog piss on the wrong curb, and they would whip out their guns for just about anything. Everytime you saw a cop it was seconds before they were running after someone for supposedly breaking the law...you could practically hear the cheesy 70's cop chase music as they ripped their guns unskillfully out of their holsters for looking at them the wrong way. Rumors had it once that the Bibb County cops had sat in a circle tasering this high school kid for hours just because he'd been smoking a doobie behind the local Wal-Mart.
Officer Morgan turned his attention to his partner outside, who was shouting at a torn-up Chevy low-rider doing donuts in the parking lot across the street. He moved his hand to his walkie-talkie and began walking towards the door. "Cheryl...I think we've got a lively one here...permission to open fire?"
Through the crackle of his walkie talkie a bored voice droned out, "Whatever." And it wasn't seconds before Officer Morgan was out the door and pulling a military issue shotgun - which they weren't supposed to even have access to unless a riot had broken out or there was a hostage situation - out of the patrol car trunk.
Jimmy burst into laughter. "Just fine sir? What the hell was that? I mean, I know the pigs get worse and worse but-"
"Pigs? What decade are you in over there?"
"Shut up and stock your shelves! We're making fun of you here goodie-fuckin'-two-shoes."
Sam decided not to egg Jimmy on and didn't reply with another insult. Instead, he turned to the small tussle outside as the officers got into their cruiser and sped after the people who had honestly done next to nothing. "Shut up man."
"You're such a fuckin' pussy! Yes sir, sorry sir,"
"Dammit, be quiet!" Sam was now looking out the window at Charlie, or Charlene, who was walking over to the payphone.
Jimmy laughed on obliviously, "anything you say sir, lemme wipe your ass sir!" he laughed at his own joke and leaned against the counter.
"Shh!"
Jimmy continued in a mocking tone, "Of course sir. Why, yes, sir...I will play with your balls sir."
"Man, shut the fuck up! That's Charlie."
"Charlie? The chick that sucked your dick?" Jimmy ran over by the window and immediately laughed. "Man, I knew you had no charm."
"What?"
Jimmy laughed again, and leaned against the window. "You made it sound like you'd charmed this chick or somethin' but that girl there," he gestured at her through the window behind him, "is Charlene Sawyer"
"And?"
"Charlene fucking Sawyer. That girl is the biggest fuckin' slut on this side of Hickville. C'mon man!" He waved his hands in the air emphatically before crossing them back over his chest. "You can't tell me you hadn't heard the folk-lore, or better said, fuck-lore on Charlie Sawyer. Where have you been my man?"
Sam glanced back at the girl, who was still on the phone, and looked back to Jimmy, shaking his head. "No I haven't."
"Well, I'm sure you've heard some of the stories...I mean, that there's gossip for ya, right? Same person, different names...anyway...you know that gym teacher that got fired last year?"
"The one that had nothin' but eleventh grade classes?"
"That's him."
"Yeah...well?"
"Well, listen here" he leaned forward, as if it were some government sized conspiracy he was talking about."The reasons he got fired is for relations with a minor."
"And"
"And...Charlie's a minor." Jimmy spread his hands in midair as if to say 'D'ya get, huh? D'ya get it?'
Sam laughed and went back to stocking the shelves. "God Dammit Jimmy, sometimes you're just such a dumbass."
"Hey!"
"Them rumors don't mean jack shit."
"Well...what about all the times I've heard guys talkin' about losin' their virginity to her in broom closets, behind stores, on va-"
"Like they couldn't be lying?"
"W-"
"Like that time you lied about fuckin' Jamie Cross?"
"Well, th-"
The doorbells jangled again as Charlie walked in, pushing her hair behind her ears. She gave Sam a tiny smile - one so small that Sam thought it might have been a figment of his imagination - before walking back to the sodas and opening the cooler door to glance over the drinks. Sam walked up to the counter, ready to ring up her things when she'd decided.
Picking up a Crystal Pepsi she glanced up to the counter, "I thought they stopped selling these back in '93."
"They did, the assistant manager just found an old box of 'em in storage last week."
She nodded, noting the worn of label and murky look of the once clear soda and muttered, "God damn...that's..." Setting it back in its place she picked up a RC Cola and walked up to the counter.
"How've you been, since..." Sam scanned the bottle and waited for an answer as she pawed through the gum.
"Good." she said, glancing back at Jimmy who was casually making his way up to the counter.
"So, you're in senior year, right?" Sam leaned on the counter, watching her slow movements closely.
"Yeah"
"Me too."
Jimmy stood closely behind her and leaned over her shoulder, chewing his gum loudly. "Hi." He raised both eyebrows quickly and dropped them back to their normal position.
She frowned at him and shifted uncomfortably, "Hi."
"You, uh, you'd best try that gum if you're lookin' to blow...bubbles" he raised his eyebrows again and ignored Sam's look of complete horror.
'Don't speak...shut up now Jimmy!' internally Sam was dying slowly, wishing he could develop psychic powers then and there to shut Jimmy's mouth, but tried to keep a smile on his face - though his smile hardly curbed the horror that was still in his eyes. 'You are not being smooth, you lil' bastard, so shut your damn mouth'
Confidently and nonchalantly Jimmy filled his momentarily ex-best friend's current worst nightmare. "Did'ya really suck Sam's cock?"
With that comment Sam's face contorted to a look that made it seem as though his nuts were in a vice and she let out a laugh with a hint of insult in it. "Yeah." She looked back up to Sam and sat the gum farthest from what Jimmy had pointed out onto the counter. "Jimmy, I'm guessin'?"
A nod was all Sam could manage through the shock at the extent of dumbass-ness of his friend.
"You were right about him." she decided, knowingly.
Another nod as he pushed her unpaid for items towards her, "Just take it."
Jimmy laughed, "He wants to be alone while he dies inside."
Charlie laughed too, stuffing the gum in her pocket and taking the soda bottle in her right hand. When Jimmy backed up, giving her space to leave without rubbing too closely against him she leaned forward over the counter and whispered in Sam's ear, "It ain't that big of a deal. I'd figured you'd tell someone anyhow." She gave him a reassuring smile and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. She walked to the door, pausing in thought, then turned to face Sam, "There's gonna be another party at David's in two days, maybe I'll see you there." She turned again and left.
"We're going." Jimmy said, in a no questions voice. Not that Sam planned to despute his friend's decision.
Americana: Part 2
Americana: A Very Jimmy Drabble
Americana: Yesteryears Installment 1
Americana: Yesteryears Installment 2