The sixth love language?
Bethany does loads of drawings for us.
It averages about one a day, and on some days we get about ten. They're very sweet, but also very plentiful, and what are we supposed do with them all? About 1% go on the fridge, and about 10% in a filing cabinet drawer which will eventually go in the loft. The rest used to sit around being clutter and making me feel guilty and conflicted, and a lot of them ended up in the recycling, and some of them sit around filling up Bethany's small and already over-full bedroom. Then I bought her a 100-pocket portfolio file, so they can go in her room much more tidily and compactly; but this isn't completely ideal, because she sees them as presents for us, rather than things to keep in her room.
On Saturday afternoon, I was very tired, and I lost my temper: not at Bethany, but very close to Bethany, and scared her a bit. Then the way the logistics worked out, I spent most of the rest of the day with Zoe, and put Zoe to bed, and Alex spent most of the rest of the day with Bethany, and put Bethany to bed (she's decided to sleep back in her own room now). So I realised after bedtime that I hadn't really reconciled with Bethany or said sorry. She was still awake, so I was going to go up and do that. It occurred to me that it would be meaningful to her if I did her a drawing. So I drew a big cat and a little cat hugging, and wrote "Sorry". Two minutes' work. But she was delighted and extremely touched by it, and teared up a bit, and we hugged. And then the next day, she brought it up again and said how much she loved the picture I made for her.
So I've come to the conclusion that doing drawings for people is a large part of how Bethany expresses and receives love, and we should make them for her more often.
(WRT the title, I guess it's technically a subset of "gifts", but it feels different. Bethany likes getting presents, in the same mercenary way that all little kids do, but I don't think presents in general are especially emotionally meaningful to her; but personalised drawings are.)
It averages about one a day, and on some days we get about ten. They're very sweet, but also very plentiful, and what are we supposed do with them all? About 1% go on the fridge, and about 10% in a filing cabinet drawer which will eventually go in the loft. The rest used to sit around being clutter and making me feel guilty and conflicted, and a lot of them ended up in the recycling, and some of them sit around filling up Bethany's small and already over-full bedroom. Then I bought her a 100-pocket portfolio file, so they can go in her room much more tidily and compactly; but this isn't completely ideal, because she sees them as presents for us, rather than things to keep in her room.
On Saturday afternoon, I was very tired, and I lost my temper: not at Bethany, but very close to Bethany, and scared her a bit. Then the way the logistics worked out, I spent most of the rest of the day with Zoe, and put Zoe to bed, and Alex spent most of the rest of the day with Bethany, and put Bethany to bed (she's decided to sleep back in her own room now). So I realised after bedtime that I hadn't really reconciled with Bethany or said sorry. She was still awake, so I was going to go up and do that. It occurred to me that it would be meaningful to her if I did her a drawing. So I drew a big cat and a little cat hugging, and wrote "Sorry". Two minutes' work. But she was delighted and extremely touched by it, and teared up a bit, and we hugged. And then the next day, she brought it up again and said how much she loved the picture I made for her.
So I've come to the conclusion that doing drawings for people is a large part of how Bethany expresses and receives love, and we should make them for her more often.
(WRT the title, I guess it's technically a subset of "gifts", but it feels different. Bethany likes getting presents, in the same mercenary way that all little kids do, but I don't think presents in general are especially emotionally meaningful to her; but personalised drawings are.)