It's All About the [fake] Benjamins
I didn't feel like sitting at home last night, so I called my crazy downstairs neighbor to see if she wanted to go to the bar across the street. It turned out that she was going there with her shady boyfriend anyway, so I just went and met them there after my shower. By the time I got there, the waitress had already closed out their tab, so I went to the bar to get a drink. When I got back to the table, the shady boyfriend (who works at a shady used car dealership) was out smoking. About a minute later, the manager came over and said, "R___, you know this is fake money, right?" The shady boyfriend had tried to pay with a counterfeit hundred dollar bill. This thing was so obviously fake, too. The straight-off-the-boat Irish waitress could even tell it wasn't real. The shady boyfriend was all, "I got paid today. I cashed my check and got this from Citizens Bank." He claimed he was going to go back to Citizens today and they'd apologize and give him a gift card. Riiiiiiight.