post-camp depression? i think not.
I need somebody to lean on.
I'm so confused, tired, depressed, angry. There are the questions that bring the hot, bitter tears that seem to cut holes in my heart as well as my cheeks, and the terrible chattering of my teeth and the violent shaking that accompanies it. The pain in my heart is so real that I can almost feel it physically. I hate my mind, I detest it, I wish more than anything that I were stupid and didn't know how to do anything but accept every one of society's theories. And I've searched and searched and searched and found nobody to lean on...because anybody willing, and there are precious few, understand nothing of the turmoil within me. I am so, so alone and all I can think is why, why, why? I will never be happy because I will always question my happiness and everything and anything related. I hate myself for that.
I'm so confused, tired, depressed, angry. There are the questions that bring the hot, bitter tears that seem to cut holes in my heart as well as my cheeks, and the terrible chattering of my teeth and the violent shaking that accompanies it. The pain in my heart is so real that I can almost feel it physically. I hate my mind, I detest it, I wish more than anything that I were stupid and didn't know how to do anything but accept every one of society's theories. And I've searched and searched and searched and found nobody to lean on...because anybody willing, and there are precious few, understand nothing of the turmoil within me. I am so, so alone and all I can think is why, why, why? I will never be happy because I will always question my happiness and everything and anything related. I hate myself for that.