in the immortal words of jay: "fuck fuck fuck."
ms. a called a few hours ago and told me that someone dropped out of districts on trombone, so they needed another part, and i was next in line. i said "no".
totally dumb, right? but dude, the rehearsal is tommorow, and i have to finish my project(s) tommorow. plus i dont want to miss meeting cuz it's in northampton. and i have to go shopping for moogie's birthday, and i dont wanna get up early. and the next rehearsal is next saturday, which would mean missing a whole day of moogie and schroeder and ian. and no joke, but when my mom even mentioned that, i burst into tears and didnt stop until an hour later when i climbed into the bathtub and turned on the shower full blast and just lay there and got blasted in the face with hot water.
i feel a bit better now, though.
but still, you know, thinking about it. maybe i ought to do it. it's a good opportunity...except i would be the bottom of the bottom, and i havent even seen the music yet, and i dont even like districts too much. but what if i do this every time i get an unexpected opportunity? i am doomed to fail at life in general, most likely. oh GOD, ok, SIX DAYS SIX DAYS SIX DAYS and it will allllll be over. you will never have to worry about anything again. just relax...
OH MY GOD I CANT RELAX!!!!! I AM A TOTAL DEBACLE. MY PARENTS CANT STAND ME, MY FRIENDS CANT STAND ME, I CANT EVEN STAND ME, AND I AM RANTING IN THIS LIVEJOURNAL NOT BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO COMMENT AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME, BUT BECAUSE I HONESTLY HAVE NO ONE BETTER TO RANT TO!!!!!!!
i am not happy.
totally dumb, right? but dude, the rehearsal is tommorow, and i have to finish my project(s) tommorow. plus i dont want to miss meeting cuz it's in northampton. and i have to go shopping for moogie's birthday, and i dont wanna get up early. and the next rehearsal is next saturday, which would mean missing a whole day of moogie and schroeder and ian. and no joke, but when my mom even mentioned that, i burst into tears and didnt stop until an hour later when i climbed into the bathtub and turned on the shower full blast and just lay there and got blasted in the face with hot water.
i feel a bit better now, though.
but still, you know, thinking about it. maybe i ought to do it. it's a good opportunity...except i would be the bottom of the bottom, and i havent even seen the music yet, and i dont even like districts too much. but what if i do this every time i get an unexpected opportunity? i am doomed to fail at life in general, most likely. oh GOD, ok, SIX DAYS SIX DAYS SIX DAYS and it will allllll be over. you will never have to worry about anything again. just relax...
OH MY GOD I CANT RELAX!!!!! I AM A TOTAL DEBACLE. MY PARENTS CANT STAND ME, MY FRIENDS CANT STAND ME, I CANT EVEN STAND ME, AND I AM RANTING IN THIS LIVEJOURNAL NOT BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO COMMENT AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME, BUT BECAUSE I HONESTLY HAVE NO ONE BETTER TO RANT TO!!!!!!!
i am not happy.