[One-shot] Hello, it's me
Title: Hello, it's me
Pairing: Yoona/Jessica
Rating: PG-13
“Unnie, stop it! Have mercy!”
Yoona couldn’t stop laughing because of Taeyeon’s ticklish actions. Her mouth wide open in laughter, her eyes mid-closed; she was amusingly suffering her unnie’s torture. Taeyeon, her recently-turned-blonde hair up in a mess all around her face from the activity, was sitting on top of Yoona’s flat stomach, her fingers tickling the second maknae’s side.
“But this is my gift!” Taeyeon pouted in that cute way of hers, the expression that always seemed to fix everything for her; no one denied her anything with that baby face. “I’m enjoying having you in the morning at the dorm in such a long time and this is my birthday gift for you! No complaining.”
“How is this your gift? You can’t kill me for my birthday!” Yoona groaned in complain, but she couldn’t resist the laughter growing in her chest, fighting to be released.
“That’s true, Taeyeon-ah, she has to be alive for our comeback.”
Yuri, sitting on the chair nearby, was smiling in delight. The three girls were alone in the room, being them and Seohyun the only members without a schedule that morning. Even though most of them did not live in the dorm anymore, they had been spending some days there in order to be closer to the company for their upcoming comeback preparations.
“Yah! Taeyeon-ah, what did I do?” The kid leader had found a new victim in Yuri, but the younger girl sent her such a harsh glare that she moved back instantly before both of them cracked up in laughter.
“Where’s Seohyunnie?” Taeyeon asked, and Yoona shrugged.
“She said something about a shower,” the birthday girl muttered, and Taeyeon jumped on her again, surprising the deer with tickles once again. Yuri laughed as well, and Yoona's expression made her crack up more, her hands holding her stomach.
“Yoong, your phone is ringing.” Yuri, without ending her laughing episode completely, pointed out at the device, which was loudly vibrating against the cold wood of her dresser.
“Hello?” Yoona's voice was excited from all the playing with her members right earlier, and she was slightly panting because of the amount of laughter she had released. She left the room before waiting for a reply; she hated picking up phone calls in front of people, it made her even shyer. Taeyeon looked at her with confusion, but she shrugged it off before making her way out.
“Yoona.” The girl’s blood froze completely and she stopped in her tracks. That voice. How long had it been since she had last heard it?
“S-sica-unnie?”
Yoona looked around, her body paralyzed in shock but her eyes moving around swiftly to make sure no one was around. She then shifted her attention back to the speaker, her heart beating so loud that she could feel it in her inner ear.
“Yoona.” Jessica sounded calm and cold, the proper tone of an ice princess talking to someone she used to know. “Happy birthday.”
Every time the older girl pronounced her name, Yoona felt a shiver run up and down her spine. Jessica. How long had it been since they had last spoken? Since they had last seen each other? Almost eight months of complete silence. And now this. This call totally out of the blue.
“Th-thank you.” She was shaking like a leaf, Jessica’s silken voice increasing her heartbeat rhythm.
They stayed silent for a while, both girls listening to the other’s steady breathing. There was tension over the phone, but somehow the fact that Jessica had called made everything different. Less… cruel, maybe. But it made Yoona feel worse. It made her feel guilty.
Finally, after chewing on her bottom lip so intensely that she could feel the taste of iron in her blood, Yoona became brave enough to speak. She stared at her perfectly-manicured nails like they were everything in this world.
“I’m wearing your nail polish,” she blurted out, and not even a second after she had said that she started to regret her intervention. How can I be so stupid? “I’m sorry, I just…”
Just what? She didn’t even have an answer for that herself. Yoona was embarrassed, on the verge of crying, but Jessica for some reason found it hilarious and she burst out in laughter.
“How is that funny?” Yoona didn’t know whether to be pissed or not.
Jessica laughed for a while longer, Yoona listening with a frown in her face. Her expression became a smile earlier than she had wanted; she just loved Jessica’s musical laugh. And she'd missed it.
“It’s just…” Jessica wasn’t laughing anymore, but Yoona could hear the smile in her voice. She could feel it. That’s how well she knew the older girl. “I can’t believe we haven’t talked for almost eight months and that is the first complete sentence I get from you.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t interrupt me.” The ice princess was back and she thought she still kept her throne. Yoona asked herself if she really didn’t. “We had known each other for more than ten years, then you keep going on with your life and now this!”
She’s mocking me, Yoona thought. She’s mad at me because I abandoned her. I’m such an awful person. Why can’t I at least apologize?
She then stayed silent and recalled what Jessica had just said. Had known? In past tense? Yoona asked herself if she even knew Jessica anymore.
“Jessica-unnie…,” she started, but she was cut off after saying Jessica’s name.
“Yoona.”
A long pause followed that word, and it held so much power that the younger girl wouldn’t dare to go and break it. Yoona shivered at the simple thought of the realization; Jessica was actually at the other side of the line. She was talking to her. After so many months that she had almost given up.
“Say my name again, Yoong.” Jessica didn’t sound mad anymore. “Please, say it again.”
“Jessica.” She took a deep breath. “Jessica. Sooyeon.”
The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable at all. The freedom of being able to say Jessica’s name out loud was something Yoona had forgotten, something she hadn’t felt in more than half a year. The two girls remained silent for a while, thinking about how to fathom their thoughts into words. And when they spoke, they did so at the same exact moment. They both paused so the other could speak first and giggled at the coincidence. Like they used to.
“You go.” Jessica used her “unnie” voice, the one that didn’t leave space for any sort of discussion, so Yoona nodded with her head, even though she was aware that the girl could not see her.
“How have you been, unnie?” Yoona sounded incredibly shy, afraid and embarrassed because of the situation. And she felt all that. She hadn't expected Jessica to call her for her birthday, just like she hadn't called the older girl for hers about a month ago, so this felt extremely awkward. She had been thinking about this exact moment for days. For weeks. For months. She'd been asking herself what she would tell Jessica when the opportunity showed up. And now that it was here, she sounded like a shy girl who'd gone mute out of embarrassment in front of her crush.
“I'm alright.” Jessica was a bit too harsh, and Yoona flushed at the tone. But she knew she couldn't waste this opportunity, so she walked into Sunny's room, which was completely empty at the time, and closed the door behind her so no one could hear her. She didn't exactly know how her unnies would react if they knew Jessica had called, but she knew they would not throw a party in celebration.
“Is that the truth?” Yoona held onto every bit of bravery she had left in her body. “Are you really okay?”
Jessica hesitated before answering, but she ended up choosing honesty over everything. She had been the one to call, after all, and she knew Yoona. A decade spent with the girl had taught her to detect every glint of feelings in her voice. And right now, Yoona sounded worried. And guilty.
“I’m not sure.” Jessica paused, and Yoona’s heart skipped a beat at those words. “Well, I guess I am now. I’m happy.”
There was an awkward pause, Jessica obviously considering whether to spill her thoughts or save them for herself. It had been about eight months of newly-found loneliness, after all.
“But I had a really hard time, Yoong. Now I try to spend every day enjoying the perks of being on my own and being able to spend my time designing and modelling around.”
That thought saddened Yoona. And it made her happy as well. She wanted to say something, to make the girl know that she missed her every day. Every morning when she woke up, every day at practice and at every performance, every night when she went to bed and saw that picture in her nightstand. Jessica was a part of her. A very real one. But she didn't know what to say. How to say it. So she stayed silent, aware that she was making another mistake by doing so.
“How have you been, Yoona-ya?” Jessica asked. Her voice sounded so honest, so vulnerable. It made Yoona shiver.
The girl stayed quiet, thinking about how she'd been. Had she been happy with her members? Had she missed Jessica? Had she been enjoying her acting, her boyfriend, her friends?
“I'm sorry, unnie,” she started to blurt out her feelings without thinking. “I'm so sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Jessica didn't sound mad at all, nor surprised. She just sounded sad. And that broke Yoona's heart even more.
“I'm sorry we parted ways like that.” Yoona was panting heavily. “I'm sorry we've gone on with our lives like this, acting like this never happened. Like you never happened.”
When Jessica didn't say anything, Yoona listened to her unnie's ragged breathing for a couple of seconds before continuing. No more lies.
“I'm really sorry,” she continued. “I'm sorry I didn't call you for your birthday, or that, in general, I haven't tried to keep in touch... I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with us after how it ended, and how you've reacted towards the press and... I don't know, I'm only making excuses. I'm sorry.”
“Yoona.” When the girl stopped talking and took a deep breath, Jessica spoke. “Why can't you stop apologizing? It's bothering me so freaking much, you have no idea.”
Yoona didn't know what to say, so she remained quiet, waiting for Jessica to continue. She was about to apologize, but she stopped herself in the right moment and stayed silent.
“This conversation is so stupid,” Jessica blurted out, and Yoona opened her eyes in shock. “I miss you, okay? And I want to see you, but I can't. I can't do anything, Yoong... We're doomed.”
“I miss you too, unnie. So freaking much that it hurts.”
Yoona's heart ached. It had been hurting for so many months now. It started as a feeling of guilt which almost destroyed her, but then it was replaced by a sense of longing for someone, and emptiness that could only be filled by that specific person.
“You know I love you, right?” Yoona tried to laugh it off while her stomach clenched.
“Of course, Yoongie.” Jessica smiled, and Yoona could almost picture her caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead. Old times. Yoona thought that there was nothing she wanted more than that hug. “I love you too.”
“I'm not sure you understand,” she was bold at last. “I love you.”
Jessica paused at the other end of the line, and for almost a full minute Yoona thought she was going to hung up on her, or worst, tell her to stop and reject her feelings. It was awful that she had to do this on the phone, but it was the only way she had now. The only way towards freedom.
For once, the silence was awkward. Yoona felt it. Jessica felt it. But it was the younger girl who did something about it when speaking once again.
“I'd like to see you again.” She tried not to sound too hopeful, but she couldn't help it. “I need to.”
“Yoong...” Jessica hesitated. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
Where had the confident Jessica disappeared to? Yoona’s heart shattered when she started to realize the truth. She was talking to the same Jessica that had stormed out of the dorm slamming the door behind her eight months ago, and they hadn’t seen each other since. How was she supposed to act? But Yoona wasn’t stupid. She knew the truth. She knew what the real question was. How was Jessica supposed to reciprocate her feelings after what she’d done? Yoona hadn’t fought for her as she should. She had stayed quiet, dated her boyfriend and cried in silence, more for her cowardice than Jessica’s departure.
But right now, she couldn’t get herself to act like she was supposed to. Like she had been told to do. She was just sick of pretending; she couldn’t lose this opportunity.
“But you've called me!” Yoona exclaimed. Something wasn't okay. “You defied every unspoken rule out there and had the guts to call me, to do everything I wasn't bold enough to do. Why can't we meet?”
“Yoona...”
The silence that followed was too long; to Yoona, it felt like forever. But she wouldn't dare speak first. Not after everything she'd said.
“Yoona.” When Jessica said her name again, there seemed to be some sort of decision made. “Yoona. You have no idea how badly I want to see you. How badly I want to touch you, to hold you in my arms. I want to hold your hand like I used to, I want to caress your cheek.”
And you have no idea how badly I want to feel your lips against mine. The unpronounced words broke Jessica's heart while she was embracing herself to break someone else's.
“Sica-unnie…” Yoona's voice cracked, and she didn't get past that name.
She could feel Jessica take a deep breath before speaking the next few words.
“But I can't.” Her words froze Yoona on the spot. She couldn't? “You know why.”
Yoona didn’t know what to say. She stood still while the whole world crumble around her, her heart shattering into pieces. Her silence gave her obvious feelings away, so Jessica prepared herself to continue.
“Don’t dwell on the past.” Jessica seemed to be fighting the urge to say something else, but she was strong. She had always been. Stronger than Yoona. “I’ve learnt to be strong. You have to be strong for me.”
Yoona was lying on Sunny’s bed, her back against the soft covers while her eyes traced the entire area of the white ceiling, imposing as ever over her. She closed her eyes and a lonely tear made its way down her cheek.
“I can’t be strong without you.” It was that simple in Yoona’s eyes.
“You have to be.” Jessica’s voice sounded full of pain and worry. “We may not be physically together anymore because of how life turned out to be, but we will always have an unbreakable bond. The nine of us. More than a decade of friendship… Whatever really happened with you or the company… it’s not enough of an excuse. I apologize.”
“Unnie, we didn’t-”
“I don’t want to know. Honestly. I don’t need to know.”
The silence that followed Jessica’s resolution meant a lot. Yoona could feel it. The conversation was over, every second they had shared replaced by a yearning of physical contact, of visual experience.
“Thank you for calling, unnie.” Nonetheless, Yoona was happy. Her heart shattered, but her soul healed. Mixed feelings going up and down her bloodstream.
Jessica took a last deep breath before continuing.
“Have a nice life, Yoona.”
The younger girl closed her eyes in pain, her thumb hesitating over the red button that would end the call. Yes, the talk would be over. But the aching never would.
“Be happy, Jessica-unnie.”
Yoona contained her breath. She blinked her tears away, biting her lip softly. Her eyes tight shut, wet eyelashes resting against pale skin. The decision made.
“I’m in love with you, Im Yoona. I love you.” Jessica hushed the words out, but she was too late. Her decision was too late. The phone beeped shortly in her ear before stopping completely; loneliness overwhelming her. The emptiness around her wasn’t enough of an answer. It would never be. She had missed her opportunity.
Jessica reminded herself of her own words. I’ve learnt to be strong. She hoped that someday that statement would become her truth.
So hey, I'm finally on LJ after messing around with AFF for a while... and this probably means I'll be posting the same stories on both sites, but I like that idea :) I'm still new here so this all feels a bit foreign to me... Anyways, hope you enjoy this YoonSic one-shot, because my ultimate pairing could really use more love and more fics ^-^
Pairing: Yoona/Jessica
Rating: PG-13
“Unnie, stop it! Have mercy!”
Yoona couldn’t stop laughing because of Taeyeon’s ticklish actions. Her mouth wide open in laughter, her eyes mid-closed; she was amusingly suffering her unnie’s torture. Taeyeon, her recently-turned-blonde hair up in a mess all around her face from the activity, was sitting on top of Yoona’s flat stomach, her fingers tickling the second maknae’s side.
“But this is my gift!” Taeyeon pouted in that cute way of hers, the expression that always seemed to fix everything for her; no one denied her anything with that baby face. “I’m enjoying having you in the morning at the dorm in such a long time and this is my birthday gift for you! No complaining.”
“How is this your gift? You can’t kill me for my birthday!” Yoona groaned in complain, but she couldn’t resist the laughter growing in her chest, fighting to be released.
“That’s true, Taeyeon-ah, she has to be alive for our comeback.”
Yuri, sitting on the chair nearby, was smiling in delight. The three girls were alone in the room, being them and Seohyun the only members without a schedule that morning. Even though most of them did not live in the dorm anymore, they had been spending some days there in order to be closer to the company for their upcoming comeback preparations.
“Yah! Taeyeon-ah, what did I do?” The kid leader had found a new victim in Yuri, but the younger girl sent her such a harsh glare that she moved back instantly before both of them cracked up in laughter.
“Where’s Seohyunnie?” Taeyeon asked, and Yoona shrugged.
“She said something about a shower,” the birthday girl muttered, and Taeyeon jumped on her again, surprising the deer with tickles once again. Yuri laughed as well, and Yoona's expression made her crack up more, her hands holding her stomach.
“Yoong, your phone is ringing.” Yuri, without ending her laughing episode completely, pointed out at the device, which was loudly vibrating against the cold wood of her dresser.
“Hello?” Yoona's voice was excited from all the playing with her members right earlier, and she was slightly panting because of the amount of laughter she had released. She left the room before waiting for a reply; she hated picking up phone calls in front of people, it made her even shyer. Taeyeon looked at her with confusion, but she shrugged it off before making her way out.
“Yoona.” The girl’s blood froze completely and she stopped in her tracks. That voice. How long had it been since she had last heard it?
“S-sica-unnie?”
Yoona looked around, her body paralyzed in shock but her eyes moving around swiftly to make sure no one was around. She then shifted her attention back to the speaker, her heart beating so loud that she could feel it in her inner ear.
“Yoona.” Jessica sounded calm and cold, the proper tone of an ice princess talking to someone she used to know. “Happy birthday.”
Every time the older girl pronounced her name, Yoona felt a shiver run up and down her spine. Jessica. How long had it been since they had last spoken? Since they had last seen each other? Almost eight months of complete silence. And now this. This call totally out of the blue.
“Th-thank you.” She was shaking like a leaf, Jessica’s silken voice increasing her heartbeat rhythm.
They stayed silent for a while, both girls listening to the other’s steady breathing. There was tension over the phone, but somehow the fact that Jessica had called made everything different. Less… cruel, maybe. But it made Yoona feel worse. It made her feel guilty.
Finally, after chewing on her bottom lip so intensely that she could feel the taste of iron in her blood, Yoona became brave enough to speak. She stared at her perfectly-manicured nails like they were everything in this world.
“I’m wearing your nail polish,” she blurted out, and not even a second after she had said that she started to regret her intervention. How can I be so stupid? “I’m sorry, I just…”
Just what? She didn’t even have an answer for that herself. Yoona was embarrassed, on the verge of crying, but Jessica for some reason found it hilarious and she burst out in laughter.
“How is that funny?” Yoona didn’t know whether to be pissed or not.
Jessica laughed for a while longer, Yoona listening with a frown in her face. Her expression became a smile earlier than she had wanted; she just loved Jessica’s musical laugh. And she'd missed it.
“It’s just…” Jessica wasn’t laughing anymore, but Yoona could hear the smile in her voice. She could feel it. That’s how well she knew the older girl. “I can’t believe we haven’t talked for almost eight months and that is the first complete sentence I get from you.”
“I didn’t mean-”
“Don’t interrupt me.” The ice princess was back and she thought she still kept her throne. Yoona asked herself if she really didn’t. “We had known each other for more than ten years, then you keep going on with your life and now this!”
She’s mocking me, Yoona thought. She’s mad at me because I abandoned her. I’m such an awful person. Why can’t I at least apologize?
She then stayed silent and recalled what Jessica had just said. Had known? In past tense? Yoona asked herself if she even knew Jessica anymore.
“Jessica-unnie…,” she started, but she was cut off after saying Jessica’s name.
“Yoona.”
A long pause followed that word, and it held so much power that the younger girl wouldn’t dare to go and break it. Yoona shivered at the simple thought of the realization; Jessica was actually at the other side of the line. She was talking to her. After so many months that she had almost given up.
“Say my name again, Yoong.” Jessica didn’t sound mad anymore. “Please, say it again.”
“Jessica.” She took a deep breath. “Jessica. Sooyeon.”
The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable at all. The freedom of being able to say Jessica’s name out loud was something Yoona had forgotten, something she hadn’t felt in more than half a year. The two girls remained silent for a while, thinking about how to fathom their thoughts into words. And when they spoke, they did so at the same exact moment. They both paused so the other could speak first and giggled at the coincidence. Like they used to.
“You go.” Jessica used her “unnie” voice, the one that didn’t leave space for any sort of discussion, so Yoona nodded with her head, even though she was aware that the girl could not see her.
“How have you been, unnie?” Yoona sounded incredibly shy, afraid and embarrassed because of the situation. And she felt all that. She hadn't expected Jessica to call her for her birthday, just like she hadn't called the older girl for hers about a month ago, so this felt extremely awkward. She had been thinking about this exact moment for days. For weeks. For months. She'd been asking herself what she would tell Jessica when the opportunity showed up. And now that it was here, she sounded like a shy girl who'd gone mute out of embarrassment in front of her crush.
“I'm alright.” Jessica was a bit too harsh, and Yoona flushed at the tone. But she knew she couldn't waste this opportunity, so she walked into Sunny's room, which was completely empty at the time, and closed the door behind her so no one could hear her. She didn't exactly know how her unnies would react if they knew Jessica had called, but she knew they would not throw a party in celebration.
“Is that the truth?” Yoona held onto every bit of bravery she had left in her body. “Are you really okay?”
Jessica hesitated before answering, but she ended up choosing honesty over everything. She had been the one to call, after all, and she knew Yoona. A decade spent with the girl had taught her to detect every glint of feelings in her voice. And right now, Yoona sounded worried. And guilty.
“I’m not sure.” Jessica paused, and Yoona’s heart skipped a beat at those words. “Well, I guess I am now. I’m happy.”
There was an awkward pause, Jessica obviously considering whether to spill her thoughts or save them for herself. It had been about eight months of newly-found loneliness, after all.
“But I had a really hard time, Yoong. Now I try to spend every day enjoying the perks of being on my own and being able to spend my time designing and modelling around.”
That thought saddened Yoona. And it made her happy as well. She wanted to say something, to make the girl know that she missed her every day. Every morning when she woke up, every day at practice and at every performance, every night when she went to bed and saw that picture in her nightstand. Jessica was a part of her. A very real one. But she didn't know what to say. How to say it. So she stayed silent, aware that she was making another mistake by doing so.
“How have you been, Yoona-ya?” Jessica asked. Her voice sounded so honest, so vulnerable. It made Yoona shiver.
The girl stayed quiet, thinking about how she'd been. Had she been happy with her members? Had she missed Jessica? Had she been enjoying her acting, her boyfriend, her friends?
“I'm sorry, unnie,” she started to blurt out her feelings without thinking. “I'm so sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Jessica didn't sound mad at all, nor surprised. She just sounded sad. And that broke Yoona's heart even more.
“I'm sorry we parted ways like that.” Yoona was panting heavily. “I'm sorry we've gone on with our lives like this, acting like this never happened. Like you never happened.”
When Jessica didn't say anything, Yoona listened to her unnie's ragged breathing for a couple of seconds before continuing. No more lies.
“I'm really sorry,” she continued. “I'm sorry I didn't call you for your birthday, or that, in general, I haven't tried to keep in touch... I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with us after how it ended, and how you've reacted towards the press and... I don't know, I'm only making excuses. I'm sorry.”
“Yoona.” When the girl stopped talking and took a deep breath, Jessica spoke. “Why can't you stop apologizing? It's bothering me so freaking much, you have no idea.”
Yoona didn't know what to say, so she remained quiet, waiting for Jessica to continue. She was about to apologize, but she stopped herself in the right moment and stayed silent.
“This conversation is so stupid,” Jessica blurted out, and Yoona opened her eyes in shock. “I miss you, okay? And I want to see you, but I can't. I can't do anything, Yoong... We're doomed.”
“I miss you too, unnie. So freaking much that it hurts.”
Yoona's heart ached. It had been hurting for so many months now. It started as a feeling of guilt which almost destroyed her, but then it was replaced by a sense of longing for someone, and emptiness that could only be filled by that specific person.
“You know I love you, right?” Yoona tried to laugh it off while her stomach clenched.
“Of course, Yoongie.” Jessica smiled, and Yoona could almost picture her caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead. Old times. Yoona thought that there was nothing she wanted more than that hug. “I love you too.”
“I'm not sure you understand,” she was bold at last. “I love you.”
Jessica paused at the other end of the line, and for almost a full minute Yoona thought she was going to hung up on her, or worst, tell her to stop and reject her feelings. It was awful that she had to do this on the phone, but it was the only way she had now. The only way towards freedom.
For once, the silence was awkward. Yoona felt it. Jessica felt it. But it was the younger girl who did something about it when speaking once again.
“I'd like to see you again.” She tried not to sound too hopeful, but she couldn't help it. “I need to.”
“Yoong...” Jessica hesitated. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
Where had the confident Jessica disappeared to? Yoona’s heart shattered when she started to realize the truth. She was talking to the same Jessica that had stormed out of the dorm slamming the door behind her eight months ago, and they hadn’t seen each other since. How was she supposed to act? But Yoona wasn’t stupid. She knew the truth. She knew what the real question was. How was Jessica supposed to reciprocate her feelings after what she’d done? Yoona hadn’t fought for her as she should. She had stayed quiet, dated her boyfriend and cried in silence, more for her cowardice than Jessica’s departure.
But right now, she couldn’t get herself to act like she was supposed to. Like she had been told to do. She was just sick of pretending; she couldn’t lose this opportunity.
“But you've called me!” Yoona exclaimed. Something wasn't okay. “You defied every unspoken rule out there and had the guts to call me, to do everything I wasn't bold enough to do. Why can't we meet?”
“Yoona...”
The silence that followed was too long; to Yoona, it felt like forever. But she wouldn't dare speak first. Not after everything she'd said.
“Yoona.” When Jessica said her name again, there seemed to be some sort of decision made. “Yoona. You have no idea how badly I want to see you. How badly I want to touch you, to hold you in my arms. I want to hold your hand like I used to, I want to caress your cheek.”
And you have no idea how badly I want to feel your lips against mine. The unpronounced words broke Jessica's heart while she was embracing herself to break someone else's.
“Sica-unnie…” Yoona's voice cracked, and she didn't get past that name.
She could feel Jessica take a deep breath before speaking the next few words.
“But I can't.” Her words froze Yoona on the spot. She couldn't? “You know why.”
Yoona didn’t know what to say. She stood still while the whole world crumble around her, her heart shattering into pieces. Her silence gave her obvious feelings away, so Jessica prepared herself to continue.
“Don’t dwell on the past.” Jessica seemed to be fighting the urge to say something else, but she was strong. She had always been. Stronger than Yoona. “I’ve learnt to be strong. You have to be strong for me.”
Yoona was lying on Sunny’s bed, her back against the soft covers while her eyes traced the entire area of the white ceiling, imposing as ever over her. She closed her eyes and a lonely tear made its way down her cheek.
“I can’t be strong without you.” It was that simple in Yoona’s eyes.
“You have to be.” Jessica’s voice sounded full of pain and worry. “We may not be physically together anymore because of how life turned out to be, but we will always have an unbreakable bond. The nine of us. More than a decade of friendship… Whatever really happened with you or the company… it’s not enough of an excuse. I apologize.”
“Unnie, we didn’t-”
“I don’t want to know. Honestly. I don’t need to know.”
The silence that followed Jessica’s resolution meant a lot. Yoona could feel it. The conversation was over, every second they had shared replaced by a yearning of physical contact, of visual experience.
“Thank you for calling, unnie.” Nonetheless, Yoona was happy. Her heart shattered, but her soul healed. Mixed feelings going up and down her bloodstream.
Jessica took a last deep breath before continuing.
“Have a nice life, Yoona.”
The younger girl closed her eyes in pain, her thumb hesitating over the red button that would end the call. Yes, the talk would be over. But the aching never would.
“Be happy, Jessica-unnie.”
Yoona contained her breath. She blinked her tears away, biting her lip softly. Her eyes tight shut, wet eyelashes resting against pale skin. The decision made.
“I’m in love with you, Im Yoona. I love you.” Jessica hushed the words out, but she was too late. Her decision was too late. The phone beeped shortly in her ear before stopping completely; loneliness overwhelming her. The emptiness around her wasn’t enough of an answer. It would never be. She had missed her opportunity.
Jessica reminded herself of her own words. I’ve learnt to be strong. She hoped that someday that statement would become her truth.
So hey, I'm finally on LJ after messing around with AFF for a while... and this probably means I'll be posting the same stories on both sites, but I like that idea :) I'm still new here so this all feels a bit foreign to me... Anyways, hope you enjoy this YoonSic one-shot, because my ultimate pairing could really use more love and more fics ^-^