A lot of neat things going on.
Well. Number one: I'm going to college. That was decided a long time ago, I just never wrote a journal about it. Valencia Community College in Orlando. Originally, I got a lot of crap from my family about going to a community college. They wanted me to attend a four-year university. Well, I'm sorry, dad, but my grades just aren't good enough. Besides, there seem to be more interesting, varied people in community college. Valencia just seems to be the right setting for me, the kind of school I WANT to go to.
I'm moving in with my best friend. She means the world to me, so I'm very excited about that.
Tonight, I went to an AA meeting with my mom. It was really enlightening... the first thing they did was recite the serenity prayer. Imagine, one hundred people in a room, all reciting the same powerful words... I'm not a Christian by faith, I don't really consider myself to be anything... but I cried. It was incredible.
This guy, Ranger, spoke. He told us about the "hula hoop effect."
"Whatever is in your three feet of space is your business. Your world, your life. Anything outside of that is outside of your control, and their business, and their life. You control your own world."
He told us about the time in which he life began to spiral downwards. His dad passed away, he was diagnosed with cancer. He considered himself a "blackout drinker." My dad was a blackout drinker so his speech really meant a lot to me. He told us about the night he was diagnosed.
"They told me I had cancer and wouldn't live to see my next birthday. I left the hospital, went to the bar, got in my car, got in a cop car and got in a jail cell! All that happened in a four-hour time period."
He remembered thinking "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a crashing problem! Well... maybe if I stop drinking, I'll stop crashing. It sounds incredibly simple, but that's all there is to it. Stop drinking, stop crashing." I thought of that literally and metaphorically. And that you can only control what is inside of your personal hula hoop.
They gave out sobriety chips. One man, this Thursday, will have been sober for ten years. That's incredible. Another woman, four months. My mom said "four days is a long time when you're an alcoholic." My mom stood up in front of the crowd and read the 3rd Chapter.
The whole meeting just really brought me back to reality. I am incredibly normal! And I want friends like the people that are in AA but I don't want to become an alcoholic to do that. There's Al Anon, which is basically for family and friends of alcoholics, I could join that one day. My friend Jen needs help... but I don't know how to help her if she isn't willing to help herself. I guess that's the case with everything. I'm very proud of my mom for having the courage to change the things she can.
I'll write more later...
<3
I'm moving in with my best friend. She means the world to me, so I'm very excited about that.
Tonight, I went to an AA meeting with my mom. It was really enlightening... the first thing they did was recite the serenity prayer. Imagine, one hundred people in a room, all reciting the same powerful words... I'm not a Christian by faith, I don't really consider myself to be anything... but I cried. It was incredible.
This guy, Ranger, spoke. He told us about the "hula hoop effect."
"Whatever is in your three feet of space is your business. Your world, your life. Anything outside of that is outside of your control, and their business, and their life. You control your own world."
He told us about the time in which he life began to spiral downwards. His dad passed away, he was diagnosed with cancer. He considered himself a "blackout drinker." My dad was a blackout drinker so his speech really meant a lot to me. He told us about the night he was diagnosed.
"They told me I had cancer and wouldn't live to see my next birthday. I left the hospital, went to the bar, got in my car, got in a cop car and got in a jail cell! All that happened in a four-hour time period."
He remembered thinking "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a crashing problem! Well... maybe if I stop drinking, I'll stop crashing. It sounds incredibly simple, but that's all there is to it. Stop drinking, stop crashing." I thought of that literally and metaphorically. And that you can only control what is inside of your personal hula hoop.
They gave out sobriety chips. One man, this Thursday, will have been sober for ten years. That's incredible. Another woman, four months. My mom said "four days is a long time when you're an alcoholic." My mom stood up in front of the crowd and read the 3rd Chapter.
The whole meeting just really brought me back to reality. I am incredibly normal! And I want friends like the people that are in AA but I don't want to become an alcoholic to do that. There's Al Anon, which is basically for family and friends of alcoholics, I could join that one day. My friend Jen needs help... but I don't know how to help her if she isn't willing to help herself. I guess that's the case with everything. I'm very proud of my mom for having the courage to change the things she can.
I'll write more later...
<3