Odd to think...
... I knew that tragedy can make people keep their distance. I knew that most people, especially most young people, don't have any idea how to engage with someone going through things they've never experienced. I knew that it's hard for some people to be around other people who are having a hard time, even if they keep a good face on it.
I hadn't really realized how much that was preventing me from talking to anyone about what I was dealing with. I hadn't realized that it would change so soon after Mom's death. I hadn't realized how much of it was my own avoidance, not wanting to have to spend even more energy discussing it, when I had so little energy left to myself, after taking care of all the obligations I was under.
I don't think I would change anything. But I wish I had had a little more time while things were going on to do some of the processing I'm catching up on now. I wish perspective were less something that can only be realized from outside the boundaries of the thing you are evaluating.fxrtffff assssssssssssssssszxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttkiift5 frttcxx bf cute aAg s
I am also extremely grateful for my adorable rock!star!baby!, without whose cheerful and oblivious presence, everything would be/have been far more difficult and joyless. (She was taking her bottle, and "absently" reached across to help finish this post - without ever taking her eyes off the TV. Oh, the joys of digital parenting.)
I hadn't really realized how much that was preventing me from talking to anyone about what I was dealing with. I hadn't realized that it would change so soon after Mom's death. I hadn't realized how much of it was my own avoidance, not wanting to have to spend even more energy discussing it, when I had so little energy left to myself, after taking care of all the obligations I was under.
I don't think I would change anything. But I wish I had had a little more time while things were going on to do some of the processing I'm catching up on now. I wish perspective were less something that can only be realized from outside the boundaries of the thing you are evaluating.fxrtffff assssssssssssssssszxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxttttttttttkiift5 frttcxx bf cute aAg s
I am also extremely grateful for my adorable rock!star!baby!, without whose cheerful and oblivious presence, everything would be/have been far more difficult and joyless. (She was taking her bottle, and "absently" reached across to help finish this post - without ever taking her eyes off the TV. Oh, the joys of digital parenting.)